


Chasing The End

by CrossedVagabond



Series: Flame and Lionheart [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Childhood Trauma, Dadster, F/M, Fluff, Good W. D. Gaster, Human-Monster War (Undertale), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mages, Mind Manipulation, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Pre-Accident W. D. Gaster, Pre-Undertale, Racism, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Tragedy, War, Wartime Grillby - Freeform, Wartime Romance, baby bones sans - Freeform, soul experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2020-06-02 12:11:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 151,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrossedVagabond/pseuds/CrossedVagabond
Summary: All you wanted was to live the rest of your life in peace and solitude out in the shadow of Mount Ebott. When you bump into the Prince of All Monsters, you find yourself unable to keep your nose out of trouble or be able to turn a blind eye to the atrocities that humanity is committing against monsters. Loneliness once meant safety to you...but you're beginning to realize that the relationships you've made are more important than the so-called-safety that loneliness provided you.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Things you never forget](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11440866) by [A_Pile_of_trash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Pile_of_trash/pseuds/A_Pile_of_trash). 



> I really, really, enjoy the whole idea of Grillby being one of the few remaining monsters (including Asgore and Toriel obviously) who fought in the war. After reading probably every single fanfic with Grillby fighting in the war as I could, I finally decided to write my own because why not. I'm also really inspired by Things you never forget which is a Grillby/Reader set during the monster-human war! It's amazing and you should read it, even if it hasn't been updated since 2017.
> 
> I will try to upload every Monday but life, y'know?

“If you walk out that door, you lose everything we’ve worked so hard for!” your ‘father’ snarled at you, hands curled into fists on the desk. Everything was covered in dust. Thick dust that clogged your throat and brought tears to your eyes. Yet, in a blink of an eye, it was all gone. All you saw was your father’s large office. You still felt the acrid taste of bile in your mouth, the heaviness of your swollen eyes, and the ache in your soul. To hell with everything. If this is what everything got you. You turned around, grasping the door handle...but it went soft in your grip. The metal slowly fluttered away like dust. The door followed suit. Slowly crumbling. Slipping away in the wind. Your father’s words repeating in your head as a gaping void opened in front of you. Consuming. You looked down at your hands, seeing the tips of them beginning to flake away...like ashes.

Then your eyes snapped open to the familiar sounds of birds chirping outside the house. It wasn’t like a usual nightmare where you woke panting and screaming. You woke quietly, staring at the thick hide covering your window preventing bugs or animals from entering. Slowly, you reached up and lifted the edge of the leather to peer outside. Daybreak had not fully arrived yet.

It had been ten years since that day, and yet you still got nightmares about it. However, real life had been so different. You had been summoned to your father study, the two of you had fought, and then you had stormed to your room. For two days, you had refused to speak to your father, and on the third day, you vanished. Escaping from the Citadel so easily that you couldn’t get a full nights rest for two months, even as you fled into the wilderness.

In the dream, you were always trapped. You never escaped the guilt that clawed at your heart. What your father had been studying. What you had assisted him with. What he forced you to watch.

You knew now he hadn’t forced you to do anything. You didn’t look away. You didn’t cry out about how immoral it was. You didn’t do anything.

Monsters were monsters, and you watched how easy it was to turn them to dust. You hadn’t even lifted a finger to help. You had watched as they were tortured, dust crumbling from their bodies as the Mages were able to keep the magic that comprised the Monsters body from entirely failing. Watched as those poor creatures shouted and begged for help...but no one came.

The guilt clawed deeper into your soul until you were forced from your bed.

Ignore the guilt. Focus on productivity.

Live life until you could figure out a way to repay for your sins, after all, right now your death would be for nothing. Just another self-serving act to get rid of the guilt in your soul.

You swiftly changed your clothes, tied your hair up, and headed over to the hearth. Thankfully, the embers were still glowing, and it only took a bit of encouragement to get a healthy fire roaring again. With a content hum, you allowed the light to chase away the lingering bad feelings in your chest. It filled you with warmth, and you basked in it for a moment.

Just a moment.

Then you were off.

You cooked breakfast, fed the livestock, tended to the small farm, released the animals to their small pasture, checked the property for needed repairs, did said repairs. Your mind was always buzzing with added tasks to keep yourself moving. The stone fence that encircled your self-proclaimed property required to be maintained as the last rainstorm had nearly washed away the portion nearest the river. You would need to also up your protective runes around your small forest farm to prevent other mages from tracking you if they were still trying to do that.

Probably weren’t...but you weren’t going to take the chances.

Quickly brushing that thought aside, you checked your cellar. You should really begin to stock up for the winter. Oh! Maybe you could head up the mountain for foraging later? Check your snares for small game to smoke and dry so you hopefully wouldn’t need to trade as much at the end of the harvest season. You weren’t patient enough to hunt bigger animals like the Elk that roam the mountainous region, and you didn’t like to be left alone with your thoughts that long.

Even now, your mind was buzzing with the types of herbs, berries, and vegetables you could find in the area. Maybe you could make some jam if you found enough berries!

It was full of ideas as you grabbed the small cart and headed out of the fenced perimeter so you could pick up some more rocks as you checked the fence.

You stopped at the first rune that was etched carefully and purposefully into the stone fence. You brushed your fingertips against the carving. With a soft inhale you felt your magic surge within your SOUL, and as you exhaled the magic seeped down your arm, crackling along your skin. The magic swirled around the spaces in the rune. Its edges were sharpening and the grooves deepening as your magic worked the stone back to the state it was initially in. You felt the power radiate happily from the rune after you had refreshed the lingering spell.

Content, you continued down the stone fence dragging the cart laden with stones behind you.

You were hungry well before midday and you were drenched in sweat, but the good news was you have successfully finished your task. The fence fully maintained, your protection renewed, and a fresh supply of stones from beyond the wall. Those were for a job for another day. Right now, all you wanted to do was get some food into your grumbling stomach.

You finished your second meal of the day, watching the ducks peck away at the pests around the farm. At first, you had wanted to get chickens because they were what so many other farms had, but once you learnt that ducks were more hardy you got them instead. Their eggs also fetched more when you brought them in for trade, as chicken eggs were so easy to come by. You gathered up some leftover scraps and tossed them into the duck pen. They instantly went to town on the greens, earning a smile from you.

Ten years ago you had barely been able to survive, sickly thin, magic at an all-time low, and a few steps from death’s door. You had scarcely any knowledge of living off the land, and yet in your mind, you had too. Returning to a human settlement to live was not an option, and neither was going to a monster settlement. There was too much guilt, self-hatred, and distrust in your SOUL for either option.

You had persevered shivering, exposed to the environment until you were taught by some hunters how to create a lean-to. A few months later you had stolen a book about constructing farm buildings, so you were able to build a small shelter that you and your ducks slept in. Finally, after a few years, you had completed your current house. It wasn’t much, just big enough for you and you alone. Your ducks, cow, and handful of sheep took the small shelter which you expanded on over the past ten years to a small barn. Even though sometimes you missed sleeping with your ducks. They were cuddly at night, especially during the winter.

Even on your darkest days, you could walk outside and see all you have accomplished and feel proud.

You shook off those feelings of pride and headed into your home. You gathered your foraging supplies; a hand-woven basket with straps so you could carry it over your shoulders, a stone knife, and a waterskin. There, that should get you through a few hours of foraging.

Just as you closed your gate, you heard the grinding of dirt beneath wheels and the distinct clip-clop of hooves. You cautiously headed up to the main road but lingered slightly in the shadows of the tree. It took only a moment before a caravan turned down the path, a withered-looking monster whistling quietly to himself. He slowly turned his gaze towards you, and then raised an ancient claw to wave at you. “‘Ello, young one! Couldn’t stand to let ol’ Gerson pass by ya without comin’ ta say hello, could ya? Missed me?”

You smiled fondly as the caravan came to a stop beside you as you fully emerged from the wood. Gerson was a travelling merchant who only went by the nearest Monster settlement ever couple months. Not only that, but he was one of the only beings to know where your home was, as it was on his route. Sure, the land you claimed as your own was more rooted in the depths of the forest, and you couldn’t see it from by the main road, but anyone worth their salt could tell that you lived in the area once they saw you enough. Eventually, you had even invited him to your home, and the two of you had stayed up well into the night talking about his travels. Lord, could Gerson talk.

“Back so soon? It’s almost as if you missed me,” you teased back, even if it had been since the last harvest that you saw him. He patted the driver’s bench with his claws.

“Care ta join me into the village? I see yer looking to forage, might as well swing by the village and forage on yer way home,” he said, eyes peering at the basket on your back.

You agreed readily. Despite your enjoyment for not having to answer to anyone, or to bother with social awareness when you were alone...you did get lonely. A few hours with Gerson would charge your social requirement for the next couple of months until you saw him again. You did hurry back to your home to gather both gold and items for trade, tossing them into your basket. When you got back to the caravan, Gerson was whistling to himself as he waited patiently. He extended a claw down to you, which you took and allowed him to hoist you up onto the driver’s bench quickly.

The two of you chatted about everything and nothing, filling the silence with companionable chatter. He had been spending his time in the South where there were warmer climates for his old skin. You told him about your idea to build a small dock on the river so you could set up some fishing nets. A daunting task that will have to be done closer to the end of autumn when the river wasn’t as torrential, but before it started to freeze. He suggested you get help; you said you had two helpers. Bicep one, and bicep two. He chortled.

The trip was bumpy as it wasn’t often that the roads were maintained or patrolled due to its proximity to monsters. Gerson took it slowly but confidently. He knew the best route, after all. He had been alive longer than you could imagine.

The typical five-hour hike was done it roughly two hours by caravan, and you saw the monster village as the caravan crested the hill. It was tucked against the mountain, half-carved into its side. A river brought cold fresh mountain water into the heart of the village before whisking it away down towards your homestead. It was a picturesque place and the opposite of what most humans thought of when they thought monster village. Flowers bloomed, it didn’t stink of shit (because monsters didn’t do that), and you rarely heard any fights, and those that did happen were ended with apologies.

It took no time at all to get down the hill, and as the caravan entered the gates, monsters were already calling out greetings to Gerson. A few merchants recognized you and called out their greetings, but mostly you received curious looks from more than a few of the villagers. It wasn’t often you came into the village, and you rarely (if ever) came in with Gerson.,

Still, it fills your soul with warmth as small monster children began running alongside the caravan. After all, Gerson brought stuff from all over the various kingdoms, luxuries that he traded for dirt cheap because ‘he wanted to get rid of crap not get more.’ With how old he was, you had the sneaking suspicion that he was merely rich enough to afford everything he bought and only sold them for cheap to allow other monsters to get a taste of the more exotic areas that they couldn’t usually. More proof that monsters were nothing individuals but caring.

“Ohoho! Would’ a lookit that,” Gerson chuckled as he slowed his caravan to a halt in the marketplace. He gestured towards some dogs that were standing near one of the more significant buildings. They had impressive armour on and were panting slightly with broad grins on their faces as monsters greeted them in passing. “The Royal Guard’s paid this ol’ village a visit.”

You tensed slightly at that. Royalty? No, thank you. Even if they were monster royalty. You dealt with plenty of royalty.

You came to despise royalty.

“King Riagol must be in for a visit; old goats been too busy with the unrest. It’ll be good to see ’im,” Gerson commented aloud to himself, before climbing down from the caravan achingly slowly. You hopped down a moment later, leaving your foraging basket, knife, and water skin behind for the return trip. “I’ve got some neat junk to sell if yer looking.”

You waved your hands, “I’ll let the villagers peruse first,” you called as you started walking away. You didn’t like to have the first choice of his wares, not when the villagers could have more use for them. Gerson waved after you leisurely before climbing into the back of his caravan to set up.

Besides, you didn’t want to bump into the King of All Monsters and Gerson sounded like he knew him on some level. So, you hurried off towards the Healer’s. You checked your list. You were running low on monster candy which helped replenish not only your HP but your magic. After the healers, you needed to-

Your breath was knocked from you, and your hip felt a twinge of pain. For a moment, you just laid there, staring at the dirt. Why were you on the ground? You blinked in surprise before you felt a hand attempt to help you up. “I’m so sorry!” a deep but oddly small sounding voice cried out above you. “I wasn’t watching where I was going! Oh, darn!”

You felt a blush cover your face as you quickly hurried to your feet. You chastised yourself silently, you’d been in the monster village for all of two seconds, and you were bumping into monsters! “I-It’s alright! I wasn’t paying attention either! I’m fine; just a bit dusty is all! Are you okay?” you asked. You raised your gaze to...well the stomach, of an incredibly tall goat monster, as you gaze raised higher and higher your mouth fell open. He probably was nine feet tall at least, not even including his towering horns. He was incredibly well groomed, with a neatly trimmed blonde beard and hair with intricate braiding throughout. Not to mention the shiny Delta Rune imprinted on the front of his armor...Oh...fuck. Your mouth closed with an audible clack. Was Gerson telling the truth about the King being an ‘old goat’? Did you just get knocked on your ass by the King of all monsters? Fuck! You began stuttering out some apologies which seemed to confuse the monster.

The monster chuckled, a touch nervously, and waved his paws, “No, no, I’m fine! Besides, you’re the one I knocked over! Ah...” he paused, head tilting slightly. “A human?”

Your body tensed, debating whether or not to run back to Gerson. “Y-Yeah?”

He seemed to perk up more if that was even possible. “What’s a human doing at a monster village? Trading?” he said, and then his face instantly fell. “Oh, no!” he let out a distressed noise similar to a soft bleating before bending down and started gathering all the various goods that had spilt out of your basket. “I’m so sorry!”

Somehow, you found yourself in an apology war with a nine-foot-tall monster as the two of you gathered up your supplies. He offered to escort you to where you needed to go but then instantly apologized just in case he crossed any lines. “I don’t know much about humans,” he blurted out, honestly not wanting to step on any toes. You smiled, hoping it was reassuring.

“It’s perfectly fine,” you assured him, “I just don’t want to impose on you. Surely there is somewhere you need to be?”

He shook his head, “I was exploring the village. I’ve never been here before. D-Do you live here?”

“No, I live a couple of hours away,” you explained with a vague wave in possibly the direction of your home. You held out your hand as you introduced yourself.

He stared at the hand for a moment, head slightly tilted. “F-Forgive me...but...what are you doing?”

Your fingers curled, and you awkwardly retracted your hand, “A...handshake? I guess that’s not common amongst monsters? Or are you talking about introducing myself? Am I not supposed to introduce myself?”

“Handshake?” he said, testing the word out. He grinned wildly and held out his paw to you. “Howdy, I’m Asgore.”

You let out a relieved whoosh of air and felt the awkward wash out of you at his enthusiasm and placed your hand in his. “Nice to meet you, Asgore!”

The awkwardness, thankfully, stayed away as you gave an impromptu tour of the village as you went about trading. It felt odd to be giving a tour of a monster village to a monster, but you didn’t linger too long on that thought. He was kind and thoughtful, and not just towards you. Everyone seemed to respect him on some level, but also treat him like an old friend. Even if he had said, he had never been to this village before. Was that just how monsters were?

By the time the two of you finally made it back to Gerson, you began to worry about getting back to your home in time. Thankfully, the days were longer, and even if you lingered for another hour, it would just be getting dark by the time you made it home. Thankfully, the sky was clear, and there was no impending threat of a storm that would make the trek, and foraging, more difficult.

Gerson popped his head out from the back of his caravan at the sound of your voice and grinned at the sight of the two of you. “Ah! I see you’ve made a friend in the Prince!” he cackled as he descended the oddly shaped steps in the back.

“Prince?” you hummed, tensing again. You had thought he had been the King when you first bumped into him based on Gerson’s previous word choice...but why hadn’t you connected two-and-two after that? You peered up at Asgore who seemed oblivious to your sudden discomfort; he was too busy chattering away with Gerson. You knew your thoughts on royalty. You remembered mentioning it in passing once. He had a long memory.

Regardless of your thoughts on royalty…Asgore just didn’t fit with them. You still really didn’t want to meet Asgore’s father, even if he was half as kind as his son...he was still a King. King’s made stupid decisions.

“Well, I need to leave soon if I want to make it home before dark,” you waited for the perfect lull in the conversation to cut in, turning both of the men’s attention to you.

“Leaving so soon? You’re not staying for the banquet?” Asgore questioned, his face falling at the prospect. The idea of spending that much time in a closed room with so many beings wasn’t appealing. Your social requirement was full, and a banquet might drain all your extra energy.

“I got a farm to worry about and no one to help me but myself,” you offered a smile to the kind monster, “It was nice meeting you, however, Prince Asgore! See you on your way out, Gerson, thanks for the ride!” you waved at the turtle monster pleasantly.

There, you had successfully avoided attending a banquet and meeting the King of All Monsters! Now you could begin your five-hour trek home. Oh, you really hoped you could find some berries, that way you could make some jam! Or maybe you could finally try making wine?

However, fate did not want you to find those berries.

Fate wanted you to turn around and nearly bump into a second goat monster. This one larger and more imposing than Asgore. He towered above you, almost twice your height, with curled horns that looked well worn with age. His beard was long, greyed, and braided even more intricately than his son’s beard was. He was staring down at you with a burning curiosity; you could see a slight distrust behind the dark depths. You were a human in a monster village.

Of course, _of course_ , you would almost actually bump into the King. You had crashed into his son! Why not him too!

Before you could open your mouth to start spewing out apologies, massive paws landed on your shoulder. “Father!” Asgore said, happily, “My friend here just finished showing me around the village!”

King Raigol’s eyebrow arched, and he smiled fondly over your head at his son. When his gaze returned to you, you were a bit relieved to see the suspicion faded and he smiled at you as well, “Ah, you must be one of the humans that trade with the monsters here? It’s becoming quite rare to find humans who willingly associate with monsters.”

You opened your mouth before snapping it closed. Could you speak to him? Should you talk to him! At least with Asgore, the awkward situation made way for you to at least get words out of your mouth. Now? You just kind of...stared vaguely in his direction. Would it be even ruder not to say anything?

Gerson clapped you on the back hard enough you swore you would’ve lost 1HP. “Comm’on youngin’ greet the King! He doesn’t bite much!”

“Har, har,” King Raigol huffed at the comment, “Forgive me if I intimidate you. I am King Raigol. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

You curtsied quickly and clumsily, Gods, you hadn’t had to do that in a while. “P-Pleasure is all mine, Your Majesty.”

That caused the King to blush, “No! No! Please, call me Raigol! You, humans, are way too formal.”

But…he was a King? You knew that your human King would’ve already tossed you aside for as little as the fact that you were in his way. Shouldn’t he be…more crucialimportant than everyone else? That’s why you wanted to avoid him! You found yourself nodding in agreement with him, more out of instinct to just agree with authority figures than anything. He beamed down at you.

“So, you’re staying for tonight’s banquet, are you not? It would be lovely to have a human present,” he stated, with just enough authority in his voice that you knew he was more than just suggesting. Still, it wasn’t really enough authority that said you couldn’t say no...but You looked back at Gerson and Asgore. Could…could you say no directly to the King? He didn’t want you to be formal, but what would happen if you said no?

“Uh…no…Your- uh, R-Raigol,” you swallowed thickly, cursing your clumsy words, “It’s a long journey home, and I need to turn my livestock in for tonight.”

His face fell, and you could see where Asgore got his ‘puppy’ dog face from. However, it didn’t last long, he raised a paw and stroked at his beard, “How long of a journey do you make?”

“Takes ‘er bout…whatcha say last time? Five hours ta walk?” Gerson interjected before you could fib and say it depends. You didn’t want any of the monsters to really know how far away your home was. The fewer people knew where you lived, the safer you felt. It took a while to feel okay with Gerson knowing, and he never pushed or prodded into knowing more than you wanted to share. When you had invited him to your place, he seemed pleasantly surprised. You shot a glare over your shoulder at the offending man, but Gerson seemed not even to be aware you were looking at him. Simply smiling happily with his eyes shut.

“Five hours?” Asgore blurted out, “It’ll be dark by the time you get back at this rate! You should stay the night in the village!”

“Oh! No, no!” you turned around, hands raised, “I’ll be fine! Bandits rarely come this far into the mountain anyways. There’s not a lot of traffic through here. But I do need to go now before it gets too late.”

“With the tensions growing between Monsters and Humans, I fear that the roads are more dangerous than you think,” Riagol hummed quietly.

You really didn’t want to stay the night. That would be imposing. Besides, what about your foraging? What could you say to two overly friendly goat monsters, who were not only royalty but for some reason super concerned about the well being of a human? Did they think you were a threat and now that you had seen the King and Prince, you’d go running off to the closest human city to rage about that? Or were they merely concerned about a woman travelling alone?

Regardless, you just wanted to go home.

“I need to forage anyways, I’ll just…stick to the forest,” you said, allowing confidence to enter your voice.

Maybe you shouldn’t have come in to trade today.

That answer did not please either of them. Asgore started listing off all the different things that could go wrong in the forest by yourself, progressively getting more alarmed. Well, …that was not what you expected. You quickly patted the nine-foot-tall monsters’ arm.

“Humans are super tough, don’t worry,” you said with a, hopefully, reassuring smile. You’d flex, but you weren’t sure if monsters equated muscles to strength or not.

Riagol cleared his throat and clasped his hands gently behind his back. “I insist you stay for the banquet, and to ensure you are home by dark, I will send you home with two of my guard as escorts. I could not bear the thought that I allowed a young lady such as yourself to travel along the roads at night during such troubled times.”

It was a clear command, not a question. There. That was more like a King. It irked you but…well, you really couldn’t refuse at this point. So you acquiesced. Gerson chortled behind you, and as you turned to look at him, you saw a mischievous glint in his eye. He planned this. Why? You didn’t know, but you’d figure it out.

You sent him a rude gesture as the Prince and King looked away to greet a passing monster.

You were left alone with Gerson as the two royals left to go and prepare for the banquet. You grumbled under your breath and sat down heavily on a chair in the caravan. Gerson hummed pleasantly as he shuffled about, closing up the caravan for the night.

“Why did you do that?” you grumbled, kicking off your shoes. He handed you a cloth, and you set about cleaning the dirt from them. If you were going to a banquet, you wanted to be at least presentable.

Gerson poured two cups of tea, placing one in your reach before he sat down in one of the other chairs. “Times are changing, child. We will all need friends in the coming days,” came his simple answer. You stared at him, pausing in your movements.

“I’m perfectly fine with the one friend I have, thanks,” you said, eyeing him cautiously before returning your attention to getting the mud from the leather boots. “Besides, a simple peasant girl can’t befriend Royals.”

“Wahahaha. We both know you’re not some simple peasant girl,” he laughed before taking a sip of his tea and sighing happily. “Y’know, I got this tea from a small village down South. I was at this small tea shop, and it had the most beautiful view, oh! The humidity there was so nice on this old monster’s skin. Didja know that-“

Before you could clarify what he meant by ‘we both know’ he was rambling on about his travels once again, dragging your attention away successfully. By the time you were presentable, the banquet was started, and he escorted you there.

At first, you were uncomfortable and stiff. Gerson left you to sit at the head table, which surprised you, but when he offered to see if you could sit there with him, you quickly balked at the idea. You didn’t want to be seated with royalty. You weren’t exactly worth such a level of respect, especially amongst monsters.

However…you had to admit…it was nice to be a part of a banquet again. Even if at the start you were nervous about eating in front of other people, especially monsters. You knew they all had different ways of eating and you didn’t want to stare and be rude…but the monsters quickly distracted you. They asked you plenty of questions about being a human, and you were able to ask your own burning questions. After the first question, the monsters around you had burst into laughter, and you felt immensely embarrassed, but they quickly assured you that it was alright to ask them more.

Plus eating monster food was always a treat! It was also so warm, fresh, and delicious. It did more for your magic levels than your actual nutritional needs, but you ate enough of it that you felt sated. You’d probably have a second dinner when you got home, anyways.

By the end of the banquet, you felt stuffed, tired, and content. The monsters you had chatted with were now consuming monster alcohol, and that was something you weren’t touching. Gerson gave you some once, and you were laid on your ass for a full day recuperating. It wasn’t pretty.

A large, warm hand plopped down on your shoulder, and some monsters shifted to make room as Asgore plopped down on the bench beside you. “My father said he could send you home with some guards whenever you’re ready!”

You idly wondered why he didn’t just send the guards over to inform you, but…monsters weren’t humans, and you needed to stop comparing the two. That much was proven only by spending the banquet talking to the other monsters. You stuffed the remainder of the bread you were picking at into your mouth and gave Asgore a thumbs up. He beamed down at you and then hurriedly waved over two guards. They were both large and imposing with dark, but shiny armour. One had a cape of a deep blue and the other a fiery red. You couldn’t see either of their faces, but the red-caped monster’s visor glowed brightly as if it were a furnace. That piqued your curiosity...just a touch. You weren’t able to tell what kind of monsters they were...but they were bipedal at least.

“Grillby and Nindree will be escorting you home!” Asgore announced, gesturing to the two as they came to a stop beside the table. You shyly waved at them, the one with the blue cape waved back almost hesitantly.

Ah, yay. Two more individuals who would know where you lived. Maybe you could get them to drop you off on the pretense you were near your house? You shoved the thoughts away as you stood and felt the heaviness of food and drink weighing on you. Maybe…it would be alright…maybe as long as you got to bed soon.

You were exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! That's Chapter 1! Let me know what you think :D
> 
> I've written two additional chapters already and they're roughly 4500-5500 words? Let me know if you think these chapters are too long, I'm not sure haha. Thanks for reading the first chapter!


	2. Is this 'Friendship'?

There was one thing that you disliked more than having two strangers know where you lived, and that was riding horseback, even more so when you weren’t the one in the saddle or in control. You clung to the back of one of the guards all the way back, hoping the horse didn’t randomly decide that it didn’t want to carry your extra weight and buck. To top it off, the horses were huge because the monsters were huge. You felt dwarfed by their size alone.

You clung to the back of the taller monster, the one with the blue cape. They were at the very least three feet taller than you, while the other monster was roughly two feet taller. It intimidated you. All the monsters in the village were approximately the same size as you give or take a foot or so. None that surpassed the six-foot mark, however.

The moment your familiar stretch of the road came into view, you breathed out a sigh of relief. Now you could get the hell off the massive beast and get into your warm bed.

You cleared your throat, “I can walk the rest of the way, thank you.”

The guard whose horse you were riding on, Nindree, shifted their head slightly, “Nah, Riagol’s orders were to make sure you got home safe. That means we gotta take you right to your front door, pal! Is it in the forest? I’m sure ol’ Flora here can make it through the forest no problem!”

It was the first time you heard them speak, it was a slightly dry sound that sounded like they needed a couple glasses of water. There was nothing in the voice that made you think ‘female’ or ‘male’ however.

You didn’t want to make them do something against their orders. As much as it chafed you that two strangers were there too. At least they were monsters and not the human kind. You sighed against their armour, “It’s to the left.”

“Hey! Grillby!” they called out in a loud biting tone, “The human says it’s through these trees!”

The other guard simply nodded their head curtly and slowed their horse down. Nindree guided Flora off the dirt road and into the brush of the forest. It seemed to take a bit longer to get home since Flora couldn’t be as direct through the thick foliage as you could’ve been, but soon the two horses stopped at the stone fence. You ungracefully clambered off the very tall horse, much to Nindree’s delight, and hurried to the gate. You opened it with a relieved sigh and allowed the two guards to guide the horses within. If they were already here, you’d at least be a good host for them. If only to shove drinks down their throat and send them on their way.

Nindree slipped from their horse and immediately whipped off their helmet. She had almost green, scaly skin and dozens of thick braids that kept her inky black hair tight against her head. Her eyes were black with white irises that glowed faintly, two almost invisible slits marked her nose, and her ears were more like fins. When she grinned at you, her teeth were sharp, and you could swear she had two rows, it was terrifying.

Yet, the grin wasn’t menacing at all. “Whoa! Got yourself a decent place there, pal,” she said, looking around. Her eyes narrowed slightly as you felt something peck at your pant leg. You dropped your gaze to see one of your ducks biting at your pants. “What...is that?” she asked evident confusion within her voice, making you believe that she genuinely had never, ever seen a duck before.

“A...duck?” you said, reaching down and picking her up. “Her name is Parsnip, I’ve also got Paprika, Potato, and Bitey. Which is...ah...short for ‘The Biting Asshole’...” you admitted the last part quietly. It used to be Pepper, but that quickly changed once she matured.

Nindree stared at you for a beat before she threw her head back, a boisterous cackling. “BITING ASSHOLE??? I LOVE IT. WHICH ONE DID YOU NAME THAT? I gotta see ’’em!”

You startled at her sudden outburst, and a wry smile stretched over your lips. Nindree certainly seemed to be...exuberant. After you let Parsnip go and turned to scout for the other three. When you spotted Bitey, you pointed her out. She was munching at your lettuce. You clapped your hands, causing her to scatter away from the garden. Shit, you had forgotten to close the gate to your garden.

“She’s the black and white spotted one over there eating my damn lettuce, be careful she bites hard,” you warned, but Nindree was already halfway to her. Grillby had gotten from their horse and was standing a few feet away from you, watching quietly. They still hadn’t taken off their helmet yet, which made you even more curious now that Nindree had revealed herself. There was always that strange glowing come from his visor. Maybe he was merely wary about revealing too much to strangers? You didn’t blame him, you didn’t trust humans either.

Nindree shouted a curse, and Bitey fluttered away from her, honking loudly as she tried to swat at the spotted bastard. You made a startled sound, but before you could do anything to intervene, Nindree started cackling. She watched as the ducks waddled away from her, wings outstretched slightly in distress of the loud newcomer. “GRILLBY! Lookit, these fluffy idiots! They sound RIDICULOUS!”

You breathed out a sigh of relief and rubbed at your face. “Would you two like something to drink before you return to the village?” you asked, hoping they got the hint that you didn’t want to play hostess. Even if a distant part was urging you to be politer than you were being.

Nindree strode over, giving the ducks their peace, “Water for me!”

You nodded and turned your attention over to Grillby. He simply shook his head. Ah, at least one of them didn’t want to be here then! You smiled and disappeared into your house. There wasn’t any reason to invite them inside, because you were pretty sure they couldn’t fit even if you did! The house was built by you, for you. Customized to your height, and you weren’t sure the two massive monsters would be comfortable inside even if you did invite them in.

A mug of water in hand, you returned back out to see Grillby slowly corralling the ducks towards their pen. Nindree wasn’t helping at all; too busy petting your cow who had wandered over to see what the commotion was.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that,” you blurted out to Grillby. Their attention turned to you, and they hesitated as if debating to stop or not. Nindree took the mug from you with a loud THANK YOU and downed it in one smooth motion.

“So! Yer kicking us out?” Nindree asked, handing the empty mug back to you.

“I was expecting the King would want you two back tonight,” you lied, placing the mug near the entrance to your home. Grillby closed the gate to the duck pen with all the ducks contently inside. Nindree eyed you curiously, and then grinned widely.

“NAH! There’s plenty of other guards to keep ol’ Riagol protected. BESIDES! This place is rad! I’ve never been to a human farm before! I mean LOOK AT THAT BIG GUY OVER THERE!” she swung a hand towards your cow. You knew from trading with monsters that they typically didn’t have farms, but surely she’d seen livestock before? Well, maybe not ducks, but cows were popular for more than just their milk. As you hurried to find an excuse for them to leave, Grillby ventured over, and Nindree stared at him blankly for a moment.

“UGH!” she shouted, throwing her arms up, startling you. “I guess it is imposing!”

Had...had Grillby said something, and you missed it? The two seemed to start arguing, well Nindree started to try to convince Grillby that she wasn't rude, while Grillby simply stood there staring at her. Did they know each other well enough for her to be able to tell what he was thinking?

You took the time that they were bickering, to guide your cow into the barn. The sheep had already made their way inside, surprisingly; they usually had to be rounded up and shouted at before they reluctantly went in for the night. Sometimes they were so stubborn that you didn’t bother putting them away at all...but you always worried about them getting eaten by wolves or cougars.

You also took the time to think of a polite way to say ‘yes, yes you are imposing,’ but as you left the barn to inform the two, you felt a droplet of water hit your cheek. Frowning, you touched your cheek and then glanced to the sky. You hadn’t smelt rain in the air, and you hadn’t honestly noticed how dark it had gotten chalking that up to simply it being so late at night. Within seconds the rain was starting to pour, and Nindree immediately picked Grillby up. It startled you both from the motion and the fact that she effortlessly hoisted up a monster in full armour. How strong was she? What couldn’t she lift?

You thought you were strong, but you were pretty sure you would seriously struggle to even get Grillby off their feet from their size.

“SORRY FOR IMPOSING,” she shouted before hightailing it past you and into the barn.

The door slammed shut, and you were left outside in the pouring rain.

What the hell?

Sure, you would’ve been okay with offering them to stay since you wouldn’t be that much of an asshole to kick two people out in the rain. However, you really didn’t care for the assumption that she could just do whatever she wanted. As oddly amusing as Nindree was, you really didn’t want to deal with this.

You just wanted to sleep.

Maybe you could just ignore them and go to sleep. They’d be gone before you woke up...right?

With a dark grumble, you strode straight over to the barn and threw open the door.

When you pushed open the barn door, you saw Grillby had taken off his helmet and one glove and was currently evaporating stray water from his armour.

Oh.

He was a fire elemental.

His flames added nearly an additional foot to his height, and even though he had no apparent facial features, you could see the edge of a sharp jaw beneath flames. You hadn’t met a fire elemental before, but you knew they were rare.

His gaze met yours, and you felt your soul thump lightly against your chest. All anger that had built up within you faded utterly. Nindree was just protecting him from the rain. You ignored the feeling in your soul and closed the barn door. “Well,” you hummed, “Guess you two are staying the night then. I couldn’t let a fire elemental ride through two hours of rain with a clear conscious.”

“I apologize,” Grillby spoke immediately, his voice like the soft snapping of a warm fire in the hearth. “Both for Nindree leaving you behind in the rain, and for the fact that we need to stay the night.”

Your head tilted slightly at the sound of his voice and examined his form. You saw the faintest shifting of his flames, exposing bright flames as he spoke and it took you a moment to realize you were staring. Clearing your throat, and hurriedly looking away from him, you shrugged your shoulders.

“Don’t apologize for what you are, you can’t help that you’re made of fire. Do you think you could get to the house? It’s more waterproof, and I don’t mind sleeping on some hay,” you gestured behind you towards the house. All your previous concerns about getting them away and not letting them into your home were gone, replaced for your genuine concern for the safety of your reluctant guest. Nindree seemed to be delighted by the rain, but she kept looking over at her partner with fear as well.

Nindree laughed, “HAH! Like Grillby would ever make a lady sleep in a barn! He’s such a gentleman it’s OBNOXIOUS! As if women were weaker or something!”

“That’s not why,” Grillby grumbled, a bit of smoke puffing from his mouth. Nindree grinned boldly and proceeded to start yanking off her armour.

Your eyebrow rose slightly, “Well, good thing I’m not a Lady and have slept on surfaces more uncomfortable than hay.”

“I will be fine,” Grillby assured you, “but if you have, could you spare some blankets?”

You nodded and ducked back into the rain before you could question what either of those two would need with blankets. He was made of fire so surely he would be able to keep the two of them plenty warm? Then you scolded yourself. The hay. He wanted to make the hay more comfortable. You shoved the thoughts aside in favour of hurrying inside your home.

As you scavenged for extra blankets, you felt guilty for how you treated the two of them. They were doing their duty, they were friendly, and yet you were the one being prickly and trying to hurry them off your property. They already knew where you lived; they already knew what you looked like....maybe that’s why Gerson told you that you should start making friends? Friends were less likely to divulge secrets than enemies were. Besides, there were a lot worse beings you could befriend than a polite fire elemental and an excitable amphibian monster. You removed a thick woollen blanket from your chest and stared at it for a moment.

Not that you would want them to be your friend...you couldn’t let yourself trust so quickly even if Gerson was trying to encourage that.

Even if it seemed like he had a reason for suggesting making friends.

You inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

Loneliness meant safety, after all.

Shoving away thoughts of friendship, loneliness, and monster away, you gathered up another blanket from the depths of the chest and tossed a waxed cloth over it to prevent them from getting damp on the sprint back to the barn. As you cracked open the door, you saw that both of the guards had stripped from a majority of their armour. Nindree was a lot buffer than you had thought she was, and Grillby a lot leaner. Their armour seemed to mask their real sizes and forms, was it magic? Or just the way the armour fit them?

You cleared your throat, gaining their attention.

“Here,” you offered the blankets up to the two of them. Nindree plucked the thicker of the two quilts, wrapped it tightly about her form before draping herself over the cow. It snorted at the interruption of its sleep but begrudgingly returned back to its previous state of slumber quickly. You debated warning her that the cow might knock her off if she gets grumpy, but you decided to let Nindree figure that out herself.

Grillby, on the other hand, gently accepted the blanket before fluffing it out and gently sprawled it over some hay at the back of the barn before turning towards you.

“Thank you,” he said, voice soft, “We will leave in the morning.”

“Hopefully the storm has fully passed by then,” you replied just as quietly, before calling out a goodnight and exiting the barn.

Only halfway back to your house did you notice their horses were still saddled, sitting out in the pouring rain. You hurried over to the two massive beasts and grabbed their reins. Thankfully, they were both docile and followed, at your tugging, to the barn. You rushed them inside just before Nindree leapt off the cow yelling at Grillby about the horses being left in the rain.

Grillby startled upright at the shout, but let out a puff of sparks from, you assumed his mouth. His head whipped around, assessing the barn before he rubbed a hand over his face. Clearly irritated by being startled. “Nindree,” he waved at the horses. You threw a wave as you darted back out into the rain, they could deal with their horses now.

Besides, the torrential downpour had soaked through your clothes, and you were barely able to strip before exhaustion got the best of you and you collapsed on your bed.

When you woke, it wasn’t to the sounds of birds, it was to the sound of someone on your land. It startled you enough that you launched yourself from your bed, magic flooding your SOUL as you prepared for a fight. Then the sound became familiar, and the tone non-threatening, and you allowed yourself to calm down. It was just Nindree speaking in her loud voice.

After your magic had returned back to its normal levels, you dressed and started getting ready for the day. Eventually, you had gone out to greet both Grillby and Nindree, release the sheep and cow from the barn, and collect the duck eggs. Nindree watched the entire time carefully, and you were narrowly able to avoid getting your hand bitten by Bitey thanks to Nindree shouting a ‘WATCH OUT’ into your ear.

Without exhaustion clouding your brain, you were a lot more tolerable to Nindree’s loudness and overall excitable attitude. You found yourself even humming softly as you flitted about the kitchen. Nindree was currently chortling outside after you had suggested to her that she could feed the animals. A quick glance outside confirmed your suspicion that she was joyfully watching as the ducks pecked some scraps out of her hand. All besides Bitey, who was not too keen on going near the woman who kept flailing at him.

You didn’t see the fire elemental near her, and after a bit of searching, you spotted him. Grillby was prepping the horses for the journey back, making sure they were eating as he saddled them. You had portioned out some extra hay for the horses to munch on that morning. However, you had the sneaking suspicion that they might’ve helped themselves to some of the cow's hay during the night.

The sound of the boiling kettle drew you back to the hearth. You used your apron to pull it away from the fire before picking it up and pouring the boiling water into the three cups full of the tea Gerson had sent you home with. There! Breakfast complete!

You stood there proudly.

A thought hit you hard enough that your pride filled smile fell from your face, and you almost winced.

Loneliness meant safety.

Yet, here you were, standing over the meal that you had prepared for two monsters you didn’t even really want to be on your property last night. With a soft exhale, you shoved away those thoughts. What harm could it really do? They were both kind. Even if Grillby seemed to be itching to head back. Still, it wasn’t like they were sticking around for a long time, just a quick meal to sate their appetites before they go on the two-hour journey back to the village. It was the least you could do.

A soft knock against the door broke you away from your conflicting thoughts, and you hurried over.

Grillby stood on the other side, far enough away from the door that the two of you could see each other with straining your necks. You were reminded how tall he was, once again. “Thank you for your hospitality, especially since it was forced upon you because of me,” he said, bowing slightly towards you. His flames seemed to dim a bit.

You felt your face get hot, “Oh n-no, it was no problem. Like I said, you can’t not be who you are, right?”

His flames seemed to shift colour slightly, “Thank you.”

“I prepared you two breakfast before you two head back,” you said, not truly focusing on what you were saying. You were more curious about his flames as they slowly shifted back to their typical orange-yellow hue. A few of your texts on elemental monsters suggested that fire elementals were the most expressive due to their fires shifting hues. You wondered if his flames would stay in the red to yellow tones or if they could change to a blue or purple?

Nindree appeared by his side, clapping his shoulder with a grin at him, startling you out of your thoughts. You almost felt ashamed...you were thinking of him as if he were a subject to study.

“That’s awesome! ‘Cept we can’t eat human food. Non-magically prepped food doesn’t mix well with our magical junk,” she said with an apologetic look at you. She ducked her head to peer at the small set up. “Looks great though! Smells even better,” she emphasized with sniffing.

“Oh, I know,” you said smoothing your apron, “That’s why it’s magically prepped. I wasn’t sure what you two would like to have to drink, so I made tea. Hope that’s alright?”

You peered up at them, and you saw a confused look on Nindree’s face before it split open in understanding. “OH! YOU’RE A MAGE!” she blurted out, pointing a finger at you. “I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU! I thought it was just cus of all the food you ate at the banquet...so we can eat this stuff?”

You nodded, proudly, and then hesitated as you stepped back. “I don’t have three normal chairs, and I don’t know if you two will be able to stand comfortably in my house...maybe I should bring it out there?”

What was it about these two that made you want to play hostess? Hell, Gerson didn’t even get this treatment. The two of you usually sat outside on barrels or on a fence or hell, on the tree that had fallen that you had never bothered to chop up for firewood.

You made a mental note to chop that fallen tree for firewood within the next week.

“Hah! We won’t make you do that!” Nindree assured you, ducking down to get through the door which you had built to custom fit your own height, the tallest point of your house was probably seven feet at most. The roof wasn’t much taller than the door, so Nindree was at a cramped looking bend until she plonked herself down on the stool. Grillby hesitated, and you gestured in, his shoulder sagged a bit before he entered your house as well. Did he really not want to come in? Now you felt bad.

You did watch as his flames danced around the top of the roof but not so much as singe the wood. He was bent over to prevent himself from hitting his head on the roof. You wondered briefly if his head was completely just flames or if there was something within those flames. After all, he _was_ shifted to prevent something from hitting the roof as his flames weren’t doing anything. He seemed to brighten when he caught you staring, and you diverted your gaze again.

Grillby got your actual dining chair, and you opted to sit on top of your chest that you had dragged over to the table. That was a struggle to convince him, but once you were seated on the chest, he had no other option but to sit on the chair.

They both hesitated before eating, but you could tell the moment they both felt the magic within the food and dug in. Gerson had taught you how to imbue food with magic, after all, how else would he eat while he visited you?

It was a reasonably quiet breakfast, but you didn’t mind, especially seeing Nindree shovelling down her portion like she hadn’t eaten in a few days. Actually, it was really lovely.

You were warming up to the two.

So, you were only a smidge glad to see them off.

Nindree tapped her chest with her fist while grinning at you, “Yknow, human? I like ya and your feathery family over there. Next time we’re in the village, could we swing by if we don’t see you down there?”

Grillby didn’t clarify whether or not he agreed with the ‘we’ statement.

You wanted to say ‘you barely know me’ and ‘I really don’t like people showing up unannounced’ but you couldn’t bring yourself to actually say the words. You...you kind of liked her too. Even if she was over the top and sometimes her sudden increase in volume startled you. So, instead, you nodded with a smile. “Sure, why not?”

Nindree grinned and extended her hand. You looked at it in confusion, and she laughed. “I saw you shake hands with the Prince! Besides! I’m aware of human customs! It’d be rude not to shake my new ’friend’s hand!”

Friend.

Your heart warmed at the word, and you shed any regrets of having either of them over. Loneliness meant safety...but Gerson had planted that seed of doubt in your mind. Times were changing. Regardless of whether you knew what he meant or not...you knew it was true.

With almost glee you shook her hand, her skin was surprisingly smooth but oddly dry at the same time, and her grip was nearly bone crushing. You didn’t mind it and simply squeezed back just as hard, eliciting a surprised and delighted HAH from her.

“Your turn, Grillby!” Nindree crowed, shoving Grillby forward a bit. You opened your mouth to tell him that he doesn’t need to, but he held his hand towards you without any hesitation. Surprised, you simply placed your hand into his with a slightly confused smile.

Instead of shaking, he twisted your conjoined hands and dipped down to press his lips to your knuckles. Well, actually you weren’t even sure if they were his lips. You assumed since it almost felt like lips with less softness to them. You almost wanted to run your fingers over his apparent featureless face to see what other features he had.

Wow. You had never felt your face get this hot before.

Nindree cackled with delight, slapping Grillby on the back. “She looks like a TOMATO!”

Grillby seemed startled by your sudden facial change as well, and he quickly released your hand. “I apologize!” he blurted out, sparks fluttering from his mouth as his flames brightened and grew taller. Was...was he blushing? Your face grew hotter, and you brought your hand to your cheek as if that would cool it down. “I thought that was a common greeting towards human females from males.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, part from embarrassment and part amused by the apparent cultural misunderstanding. “It is...but generally it’s done to women of equal or higher rank, and I’m definitely considered a lower rank than you,” you said trying to smooth things over.

Nindree had stopped laughing as she listened to your explanation and frowned, “Why?”

“You two are clearly Knights, are you not? That’s higher ranking than a simple peasant girl,” you explained with a soft shrug of your shoulders.

Nindree scoffed and then grabbed your hand and delivered a kiss to the back of it. A lot less gracefully than Grillby had done. You let out an embarrassed laugh at her. She grinned down at you.

“Humans are so strange with their hierarchies. We just make sure no one does any stupid shit, break up fights, and protect the king. Technically, we’re just guards. The only monsters higher rank than others are Boss Monsters, and even then it’s just a power thing,” she explained, releasing your hand and rolling her eyes. She slung her arm around Grillby’s shoulder, “This guy is, at least in monster culture, the same level as a simple peasant girl.”

Grillby shrugged his shoulders, and her arm fell from his shoulder. “You’ll overheat,” he scolded her, and she sighed dramatically.

“What about the King?” you asked, causing her to laugh again.

“Ol ’ Fluffbeard doesn’t see himself as any more important than any other monster out there, he just makes the laws of Monster society and makes sure they’re upheld,” she explained before glancing up at the sky. “Speaking of the King, we really need to get back before Riagol, and Asgore starts thinking you dusted, Grillby.”

Grillby nodded.

You guided them back to the road, and waved them off, smiling as Nindree waved enthusiastically back at you.

With Gerson, it had taken a few of his visits to begin to miss him a few days after his visits.

With these guys? You were already missing both of their presence by the time you entered your fence. It was probably their dynamic of polite and chaotic, their ability to somehow even each other out without actually doing anything to do so. If it was just Nindree? You would’ve sent her on her way immediately. If it was just Grillby? You probably wouldn’t have needed to kick him out; he would’ve done it himself.

Besides…you curled your hand into a loose fist and looked down at your knuckles, a smile curling over your lips. Gerson said you needed to make friends, and you trusted that old tortoise enough to take his advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Nindree's name is an anagram of Nereid with an extra n thrown in there for fun because, after all, what better name for a sea monster than to be named after sea nymphs amirite?
> 
> Also, I'm basing Grillby's height roughly off of this post (https://kitty4915.tumblr.com/post/138141358237/yo-undertale-heights-go) but I will be referring to him as roughly three feet taller than the reader when he doesn't have his helmet on.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos or comments so far! (And thank you to everyone who will leave them in the future <3)


	3. Loneliness Means Safety

Loneliness means safety.

That had been your mantra for the past twelve years. You had clung to it like a lifeline, even if it felt like you were suffocating in the self-doubt and solitude because at least you were _safe_. You weren't hurting others, so they were _safe_. Others weren't hurting you, so you were _safe._ You could delude yourself in your tiny self-contained bubble that everything was fine.

Yet, Gerson had cracked away at the shell and planted that stupid seed of doubt in your mind with just a few words.

_Times are changing, child. We will all need friends in the coming days._

At first, you hadn’t realized what he was referring to, but you figured it out when you ventured to the village for trade and spoke to the monsters there. The tales of monsters going missing near human settlements, stories of monsters being arrested by humans and never seen again, stories of humans attacking monsters without repercussions. Even as they told you about the hardships their people were going through, they never once looked at you with distrust. You wanted to say to them not to trust you, you were a human, and they didn’t know you.

But that was your fault...wasn’t it?

They didn’t know you because you had closed yourself off from them. The moment you realized that you had vowed to change to become someone who deserved the monster's trust and kindness. Not just someone who came into the village only when needed, but an actual neighbour. The next time you decided to go to the town, you hadn’t gone straight home once you finished the trade. Instead, you had offered to help a monster that was struggling to cart something back to their home. They were delighted, and you had spent a couple of hours chattering away with their family. You did a few magic tricks which delighted the children.

If you had witnessed the monster struggling a few months ago, chances were you wouldn’t have offered to help. Some stupid notion that they wouldn’t want _your_ help because you were human. However, the more you made the trip, the more you realized that they didn’t care if you were human or not. They only cared whether you were kind or not.

A bonus with your increased visiting meant that you crossed paths with Asgore, Grillby, and Nindree more often. You enjoyed those visits. Asgore would always invite you to have tea with him and ask you more about human culture, and you’d ask him about monster culture. Sometimes Grillby and Nindree were with him, and sometimes they weren’t. When they did come to the village with him, the outcome would always be the same; when you decided to go home, he would try to get you to stay the night at the village because it must be exhausting travelling all the way back to your home every time. When you declined, Nindree would _insist_ that she and Grillby escort you home. The first time you broke from the routine, Nindree hoisted you right off your feet and _roared_ with excitement because that meant _she_ got to be the host!!

That memory always made you chuckle.

That memory always sent you into a spiral of other memories involving your favourite two-guard monsters.

One of your favourite, but somewhat bittersweet, memory was during the spring the year after you had met the two of them. Nindree and Grillby had escorted you back to your home, and you had to inform them that Bitey hadn’t survived the winter. She was old, and the winter was too harsh. Nindree had started crying, then punched Grillby when he asked if she was alright before sobbing into his chest plate with him awkwardly patting her back. However, you had quickly guided them over to the pen and showed them the baby ducklings, all awkward and fluffy. You let Nindree name a couple of them, and even convinced Grillby that he could name one if he wanted. He called one ‘Wisp’ because it had a loose baby feather on its head. Nindree had collapsed on the ground, sobbing, after she found out that the ducklings chased you if you went into the pen.

Grillby, on the other hand, you still didn’t know exactly where you stood with him half of the time. He was always polite, offering to help you out on the farm, but he never seemed to strike up a conversation and seemed to be roped into activities with you due to Nindree’s overbearing insistence. It had taken almost until two autumns after you had met him, that he had been the one to offer the escort. That had been the last time you had seen him, as Asgore never made the journey to Ebott during the winter.

You remembered him kissing your knuckles while Nindree went to go see to the horses, and told you to stay safe during the cold winter.

Well, you had...every time you remembered the firey man’s lips brushing against your knuckles, your face heated up, and you felt warm and...happy.

He was just worried about your wellbeing! After all, if you died, Nindree would be (hopefully) as upset as she was about Bitey dying.

You shook the thoughts from your head but ran your thumb over your knuckles idly. It was once again spring — almost two years since you had met the two dorks. You found yourself grinning at the prospect that they’d be returning to the village soon. Gerson would be up soon as well! Which meant you got to try new tea with Asgore, and the big fluffy goat man was obsessed with tea. He particularly loved the golden flower tea that was hugely popular around Mount Ebott.

Hopefully, you wouldn’t miss their visit since you had needed to head into the nearest human city to trade. There were a few things that the monster village didn’t have that you required. You only made the trip once a year at the most because it was a day and a half journey with your cart and cow. It was exhausting, and you had to funnel out your excess magic before entering the settlement.

Most human mages wore the robes of the Mages Guild with a length of coloured fabric about their waist, and any mage that noticed you weren’t wearing it would question you. They’d report you to the Grandmaster Sage, and then you’d never be able to return to the human village again...and you _really_ didn't want to travel to Ebott. If the worst-case scenario happened, you feared you’d have to uproot yourself and move away from Ebott for good.

When you had arrived in the city, you were exhausted from the long journey, but you didn’t waste any time. You immediately headed off to the merchants you knew you wanted to trade at. Starting specifically with the cobbler where you purchased a new pair of shoes, and dropped off your boots to be repaired. The cobbler was a kindly old man whose skin was just as leathery as your shoes were.

You chatted with the merchants in the human city, but you never went past the typical ‘how are you’ and small talk. Most of the time, it was just bartering and then heading to the next place to peruse their wares. You always came with a bit of extra gold as it was your one time a year that you allowed yourself a bit of indulgence. Perhaps you could pick something out for your new friends? What would they like? Asgore might appreciate you bringing some tea? Nindree was super interested in random human knick-knacks, but you honestly didn’t know about Grillby? God, you knew the man two years, and you barely knew him.

So, you wandered about the city, taking in the changes that had happened since last year. A few of the old merchants were gone, but all were replaced with newer ones. A thriving human city wasted no space, after all. It was either the safety of the walls or out in the wilderness. There were fewer monsters, which didn’t surprise you since you knew the tension was steadily rising between the two races.

Sudden shouting ripped you away from your current interest in a bolt of blue silk that you could haggle for a lower price due to water staining.

A cart was being driven down the street, armoured guard surrounding it and shouting for the way to be cleared. However, your gaze instantly snapped to the mage mounted on a pure white stallion in front of the cart. She didn’t spare a glance at anyone she passed by, thankfully. You wanted to knock her off her high horse, literally and figuratively.

Your gaze broke from her as you saw what was in the cart.

Monsters.

Their necks were shackled together, and you could vaguely see a soft magical glow around the metal. Inhibiting their ability to use magic? They all looked weary and weak. Your SOUL clenched at the sight, and you fought incredibly hard not to react. Struggled to keep your own magic down and weak. You memorized each of the monsters faces as the cart slowly passed you. A wolf-like a monster with bright blue eyes, a massive gorilla monster with a very recent cut across his bare chest, a gelatinous monster whose collar was embedded within it, a monster that looked like a small volcano, and finally a feminine skeleton with a missing tooth and a crack in her skull up to her right eye socket.

Her gaze lifted, and you saw on a small pinprick of light in the eye socket that wasn’t cracked. There was a look of almost determination in the way she stared at you, and you couldn’t tear your gaze away as the cart continued down the road. Her head-turning to follow you until she was out of sight.

Most of those who had been watching either followed after to see what was happening or returned to what they were doing.

You did the former.

However, you didn’t rush after curiously. You hung back. You didn’t want to risk the Mage realizing what you were and confronting you. She didn’t even seem to be paying attention to anything besides where she was going anyways, and you were glad. You didn’t recognize her, but that didn’t mean anything. It had been twelve years since you had left the Mages Guild, after all, and there had been children there as well. She looked young enough she could’ve been one of the child mages.

It didn’t matter _who_ she was. It mattered what she was going to do to those miserable monsters.

The cart finally came to a stop in front of the cities prisons, and the Mage gracefully shifted on her saddle and dismounted with the assistance of one of the guards. You watched as she ascended the few steps to the prison and started speaking to one of the guards there. The citizens were swarming the small street in front of the prison, curiously pushing forward to get a glimpse of the monsters.

You felt the familiar taste of bile at the back of your mouth.

The monsters were unloaded from the cart and dragged into the prison unceremoniously — the doors closing firmly behind them.

The Mage, however, strode back down the steps and climbed onto the back of the cart and turned to address the throng of people gawking at her.

“Good people of Ennelein!” her voice carried efficiently throughout the street. Magic, you noted, as you heard her voice as if she were only a few feet away. “I bring word from His Royal Majesty, King Fredrick the Third, as well as His Eminence, Grandmaster Sage Marquis! I am sure you are well aware of the increase that these vile monsters have been tainting our sacred lands.”

You listened as she spouted foul words about the kind creatures you had met. Her tone and voice effortlessly masking the toxic expressions with honey tones and sweet features. Unwanted memories floated from the dark recesses of your mind, remembering similar nonsense spouted at you so often you believed it. Until you believed in nothing else besides what the Mages Guild wanted you to think. You wondered if she genuinely thought what she was saying was just or if she was merely a pawn who was raised from birth to believe what she was saying.

You almost pitied her.

Almost.

The emotion you were feeling right now was guilt.

You had watched those monsters being carted into the prison and did nothing.

You had stared into the eyes of that skeleton monster and did nothing.

You should’ve _done_ something.

You could’ve deactivated her spells. You were older and stronger than that tiny hate-filled Mage was. You could’ve easily given those monsters back their magic.

 _And then what?_ You thought bitterly to yourself, forcing yourself to stay throughout the Mage's whole speech. _Five injured and weak monsters would have found themselves surrounded by armed guards, a Mage, and a bunch of humans_. _You would’ve signed their death warrant._

Perhaps death would be better than whatever that Mage would be submitting those poor creatures too?

You swallowed thickly, choking back angry and guilt-ridden tears, and left as soon as the Mage ended her speech and moved to head inside. There was nothing you could do. You were only one person.

The cobbler was finished with your shoes when you got back to him, and you barely said anything as you thrust the remainder of his payment towards him and left his shop.

The eagerness to head back to your farm was being consumed with guilt. How could you face any of them after doing nothing? All you did was nothing! You just lived alone. Secluding yourself away from others. Pretending the world wasn’t falling around you as you toiled in peace and contentment. All you were doing was fooling yourself. You weren’t any better than any of the other humans standing around watching what was happening to an entire race. The monsters were being attacked, tortured, and killed, and they weren’t doing anything to stop it. How did you even let yourself think that you were worthy of interacting with such kind souls when you did nothing to earn it? How could you look at Nindree’s or Grillby’s faces? They dedicated themselves to protecting their people.

Somehow, you had gotten yourself back to the inn you were staying in and collapsed on your bed. The musty scent fills your nose, and you curled into a tight ball in the center of it. This wasn’t your bed. These weren’t your people. You were all alone. You couldn’t find companionship with humans, and you weren’t worthy of even the smallest kindness from the monsters you did find companionship with.

You laid in the bed, staring at the light filtering in through the dirty window.

When you fell asleep, you fell into dark dreams. Dreams where you were the Mage carting monsters into villages to be tortured and killed. Dreams where you weren’t, but Nindree and Grillby knew you had stood by and done nothing, and their hatred for you cut you deep in your soul. Dreams where Nindree cut you down. Dreams where Grillby burnt you alive.

You woke chest heaving and sweat pooling down your back.

You had to do something.

Without thinking, you were on your feet and out the door.

It was well past midnight, and the only beings around were guards who barely seemed to notice you as you strode along the streets thanks to the darkness and you soft-soled shoes. Your feet carried you to the prison, and you found yourself staring at it through the shadows. There was no way you could risk magic this close to the prison. Yet you found yourself itching to just...do anything.

But you forced yourself to stay still and wait. You waited and watched. That was all you did.

For two nights in a row, you woke in a sweat and found yourself back at that same street staring and studying. It was easy to tell the patrols. Two guards circled the block. They were both lazy and would often stop at the end of the street where there were a park and just chatter away.

On the third night, you crept out from the street you were hiding in and approached the prison. It was a simple building with barred windows. The two guardsmen were chattering softly at the end of the street, distant enough away that their lamp lights wouldn’t carry this far, and you darted into the small alley between the prison and the next building. Your back pressed against the chilly stone wall.

You quietly gulped down breaths.

Terror at being caught kept your back tense as you slowly edged along.

“...hello?” a soft, shy voice whispered out to you.

You jumped but squelched your magic the moment you noticed the small ghost floating in front of you. It was hovering close to the ground, staring up at you with wide eyes. Slowly, you looked behind you before crouching down.

“Hello,” you whispered back, making your voice no louder than a breath. You introduced yourself, and the ghost floated a bit closer.

“...you were the one Vivi was looking at,” the ghost whispered back, bobbing around a bit. “...why are you here?”

You shifted a bit and strained to hear the guards. They were still chattering away. Good. You turned back to the ghost, “Trying to help.”

The small mouth opened in an ‘o’ before the bobbing increased a bit, “...that’s good! How?”

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully, “Can you help?”

The ghost regarded her curiously for a moment, and the bobbed around again. “...yes!”

You stifled the urge to groan and laugh. Could ghost monsters be children? You didn’t even know what made a ghost monster a ghost? “Can you tell me where the monsters are being kept?”

The ghost faded entirely in front of you.

You called out to them, quietly begging them to stay, but you got no response. For a moment, you tensed and listened hard for the guards, but their voices had faded. You slowly crept further into the small alleyway hoping that you could get far enough into the darkness that the light from their torches wouldn’t expose you.

What was your plan now? The jail was small due to the size of the human city you were in. Most of those unfortunate enough to be brought inside only stayed for a few days as they awaited further judgement before being transported off to either the capital or a large city for their sentencing. Unless they were sentenced to die, in which case, the criminal would be marched down the street to the market where they would be publicly executed.

The monsters wouldn’t be publicly executed. Too much could go wrong. A monster could break free and wreak havoc, or the crying and pleading monsters could plant seeds of doubt in some kind-hearted humans.

So...either they were dead already, and you were too late, or the Mage had bigger plans for them.

You just needed to figure out which one.

“...They are in the basement....chained to the wall...” a voice softly trilled into your ear. You jumped and wheeled around to see the ghost hovering near your shoulder. It recoiled slightly in surprise but bobbed around a moment later. “...I told Vivi about you, and she remembers seeing you...she asks, why are you trying to help?”

The basement? That would be harder to get to. If they were in the normal cells, then maybe you would be able to sneak inside without getting caught if you went late enough...maybe. Gods...you weren’t a thief! Sure, you could pickpocket just fine, but that was different. That relied on a thick enough crowd, a distracted enough individual, and luck. This? This was different. You crouched against the brick wall and quietly groaned at the task ahead of you. It was too late for you to back out...the Monsters knew you were trying to help them.

A guard past by the entrance to the alley, but they moved by without even glancing down. You sighed in relief softly. You remembered the ghost's question, but thankfully they didn’t seem to mind you do not answer right away.

“I’m friends with Prince Asgore. Besides, if I can do something to help, I’m going to try,” you said gently in response. The ghost bobbed a bit more eagerly, and then they smiled widely at you.

“...I will tell her!” they whispered before once again disappearing. This time, however, you didn’t worry that they were never coming back. You simply stayed where you were, allowing the cold brick to help soothe you. Eventually, your knees started to ache from the crouched position but before you could adjust, the ghost reformed in front of you slowly. “...I can guide you to them if you can get inside.”

Your stomach dropped at the prospect.

Now, this was real. Now, you had to get inside. Easy...right? You shifted through the spells in your brain. You didn’t learn many subterfuge spells when you were living in the Citadel, only defence and offensive spells. A couple of ‘tricks’ like you could create a small snowstorm in your hands, or create sparks. Things to help work on control.

Wait.

There was one. However, it involved just... _hoping_ that it worked. You didn’t want to rely on a spell that you couldn’t tell if it was active or not. A spell that sort of blurred you out so that unless someone was looking for you, they wouldn’t notice you. Besides, you’d instead save that in case you needed to disguise the monsters that you were trying to help escape.

Okay. You inhaled. There was another spell, but it would alert any Mage that a spell had been cast the moment they stepped within. You figured that the Mage wouldn’t dare spend a night in the jail, she was, after all, an important person. More likely, she’d be staying at an inn or somewhere more dignified. There hadn’t been any sign of them since you had witnessed their speech in front of the jail. Or, maybe she had gone off to capture more monsters?

Hopefully, it was the latter, and your presence within the prison wouldn’t be noticed for another couple of days. The missing monsters would be noticed immediately, but that couldn’t be helped.

“Okay,” you murmured out loud, “Can you keep a lookout on the street for those two guards?”

The ghost bobbed a bit more eagerly and then floated towards the entrance of the alley. They disappeared just before they exited, so you assumed that they could influence whether or not someone could see them. You’d have to ask about that later. Were they a monster, or were they simply a ghost? How did they work? You were insanely curious, but there was anxiety deep-rooted inside you that refused to allow you to spare more than a few thoughts towards the ghost before you turned to face the jail.

You gently placed both hands against the wall and closed your eyes.

First Spell.

Your magic swelled in your SOUL, and you felt the magic surge forth as you exhaled. It seeped into the brick finding minuscule cracks and spaces, squeezing through to the other side. With your eyes closed, you whispered a spell against the brick, and without opening your eyes, you could suddenly see. The room on the other side of the wall was a cell. Empty. You turned your head, and the room was revealed to you.

There were about ten cells, separated by simple bars as it was cheaper than brick for each cell. Outside, the cell was a small room where there was a single guard for the three drunken prisoners. The guard seemed half-asleep already, not even noticing the increase of magic. Or maybe they weren’t sensitive to magic? You didn’t think much of it; they weren’t a threat. The magic moved like a mist through the wooden door, squeezing through it faster than the brick.

The front of the jail. It was a simple intake room. There was a guard at the desk slumped over a book. He didn’t notice the misty magic exploring the place as you scouted it. So far, so good. Two guards. You entered the other room off to the side.

It was a slightly larger room with beds. A few guards were already asleep within; a couple of others were playing cards and smoking at a table tucked into the corner. None of them noticed you either. If this was the Citadel, you knew for a fact you would’ve already been discovered the moment you cast the spell. These were just regular guards who were used to nothing happening. Lucky you.

You found a small hatch and your magic was able to slip down the cracks around the hatch quickly. It went into the basement of the jailhouse. It was fairly dark, but you felt another’s magical presence. As long as you didn’t touch it, you’d be fine. You assumed it was just from the collars keeping the monsters from using their magic...but you didn’t want to risk yourself too severely. So, you took the basement slowly, even if you knew you only had a few more minutes before the guards circled again. You hoped your ghost friend would alert you in time to hide.

It was as your ghost friend said, the monsters were all chained to the wall by their neck. There weren’t just the five monsters you had seen; there was another five that you didn’t recognize. They must’ve been brought in earlier? You weren’t sure. They instantly spotted your magic curling around the floor, and a few of them snarled at it. The skeleton monster you had stared at eyed your magic but then said something to the other monsters, and their impressions changed. Your spell couldn’t pick up sounds, just the visual.

There were no guards down in the basement.

You returned the magic to the upper floor and stopped casting the vision spell. Instead, you forced the magic to spread out amongst the top level and then started to whisper another spell. You repeated the spell three times...just in case before you opened your eyes and dropped your hands. You felt your magic levels drooping and exhaustion starting to creep into the back of your mind.

“...they’re coming,” the ghost alerted you, appearing at your side and bobbing towards you hurriedly. You crouched down quickly and scuttled as far back into the alley as you could. Your heart was beating heavily in your chest as you began to beg that they continued their route and didn’t enter the jail. That would alert too many people, and you’d risk your chance on getting the monsters out.

Waiting on bated breath, you stared at the end of the alley.

The ghost hovered beside you without its normal bobbing as if frozen in spot.

The guards passed by the jail once again without checking the alley. Typical. Why would they be inspecting alleyways? There was no point to it. They were tasked to patrol the main roads in case someone needed to call out for help.

Your body was beginning to quake with anxiety, fear, and a touch of excitement. Sweat was beading along your forehead as you crept back to the entrance of the alley. The ghost disappeared before reappearing at the door. You assumed that they either trusted you, or they knew what you had done. Peering down the road, you spotted the two guards having their next chat break. You assumed they only did their patrol route every fifteen minutes or so and met up to talk the rest of the time to fight back boredom and exhaustion.

Thankfully, they didn’t notice as you hurried up the steps and opened the door to the jail without care.

Even more thankful, was that your spell had worked. The man at the desk was slumped over on his book, knocked out cold. You didn’t waste any time, hurrying over to him and searching his form. You found a skeleton key in the front breast pocket of the man with a triumphant grunt. The ghost was floating patiently by the other door. You followed them, past the men sleeping at the card table, and unlocked the hatch lock.

After half-climbing down the ladder, you jumped the rest of the way and spun around.

“...she did it!” the ghost chirped happily, floating to the center of the room.

“Sorry it took so long,” you blurted out, hurrying over to the nearest monster. Your hands hovered around the collar. How should you do this? Void the spell? That could cause too much attention...but regardless of what you do, the other Mage will be alerted to your presence. Hopefully, she was far enough away that you could get them all out of the jailhouse and out of the city before she could get back.

The skeleton monster spoke up, her voice so smooth and had a strange accent to it you couldn’t place. “It is nice to know not all humans are evil,” she said in a way that almost seemed like a veiled threat. You tensed slightly at her words but shrugged your shoulder.

“Not many are immune to propaganda,” you mumbled, slightly defensively for your kind. Why you were defending them...you really didn’t know. You returned to examining the runes. “We might only have a few seconds to get out of here before that Mage comes back. Can you all fight?”

You looked around at all the monsters, most of them nodded. A few shook their heads.

“We do not wish for a fight, but we will if it means we have a better chance of survival,” the skeleton said confidentially, “Are you able to fight?”

You shrugged a shoulder, “I haven’t been in many fights in my life, but I will do my best to protect you.”

With a deep breath, you met the skeleton's eyes...no, wait, eye. Only one of the sockets had any sign of life within them. You introduced yourself. She nodded, “You may call me Viv.”

“Are you all ready?” you asked, turning to meet the eyes of each monster (well those with eyes). They all nodded, even if there was reluctance in the motion. Another deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. This was it. You really hoped you weren’t in over your head. You really hoped this was going to go as simple as you wished it would be.

As your fingers brushed the rune, you began summoning your magic.

Pain burst over your side as something slammed into your chest and sent you flying into the brick wall. Stars exploded behind your eyes, and you felt all the air in your chest rush out, leaving you gasping. There was a surprised murmur amongst the monsters, and you forced yourself up, blinking back the pain.

You gritted your teeth together as you looked up to see that self-righteous Mage staring down at you. She looked immaculately done up — not a hair out of place. Her staff held behind her back with both hands. She grinned, a malicious look as she leaned forward to peer down at you.

“Honestly! Did you really think that I _wouldn’t_ notice an amateurs magic tainting my space? What rock did you crawl out of? Hm?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..uh...I gotta tumblr.
> 
> Y'know.
> 
> In case you want to talk to me...or something. >.>
> 
> myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com
> 
> Otherwise, SEE YA NEXT MONDAY PUNKS :D


	4. Rescuer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a panic attack in this chapter just a heads up!

You SOUL flared when you saw the mage gathering her magic for another attack, and you moved. You threw yourself onto your feet, magic flowing out of your body without another thought. Whether it was muscle memory or not, you weren't sure. Her attack bounced harmlessly off the magic shield you threw up.

The room crackled with magic.

If only you hadn't used up so much magic to get down here. You were already grasping at the last remnants of your magical potential. Each attack she threw at you, you could barely defend against. Your magical shield cracking and splintering just as you got enough magic to defend against the next attack. One time, you would've been able to effortlessly toss aside her attacks with a flick of your wrist. Now? You felt exhaustion clinging to your bones. God. How long would you be able to stand against this?

Her attacks turned towards the monsters. Her face filled with twisted glee as you dove and twisted in attempts to protect the monsters.

You weren't about to let them dust. Not now.

"RELEASE US!" Viv shouted, her voice barely registering in your mind over your rapidly beating heart.

That was just the distraction you needed, however. The mage smirked and called off her attacks. You dropped to your knee, hard enough that you felt a sharp sting of pain.

You were sweating so bad you were dripping, it stung your eyes and a spot on your temple. When you wiped at your brow, it came away streaked with blood. Damnit. That was another reason your magic wasn't up to par. It was naturally attempting to heal your body. Right now, it was a damned waste of your magical supply. You needed an additional source if you wanted to defeat her.

Shit. You were rusty with your magic.

"She's clearly not strong enough to release you. Look at her. She's barely able to conjure enough magic to defend! Let alone attack me," the woman waved her staff towards you, grinning wickedly, "I do enjoy playing with her, watching her dart around like a little bug. It'll be fun to squish her like a bug as well."

You gulped down air. You really should have just walked away when you had the chance. Instead, you inhaled deeply and slowly. Ignoring the mage insulting you and your powers. Ignoring the feel of the monsters gazes on you. Ignoring the sharp sting of pain in your side, your forehead, and your knee. Ignoring the feeling of your arms shaking, trying to keep you from falling on your face.

You would preserve.

You would get these monsters to their families.

You wouldn't die here.

You focused on the musty air filling your lungs. Focused on the magic crackling in the room. Concentrated on all the magic that she wasted. Her attacks were powerful, yes, but they were also showy. Trying to impress. It left excess magic lingering in the air.

As you inhaled, you concentrated on scooping that excess into your own SOUL, which greedily consumed it.

You pushed yourself to your feet and staggered backwards, colliding into the wall. The mage cackled gleefully, saying something about how predictably you were. You felt the magic in the air shift as she went to prep for what she assumed would be the final blow.

You looked down at Viv beside you.

"I know what I'm doing," you promised her, ignoring the doubtful look she gave you. With a final inhale, you grabbed the collar on her neck and forced half of the stolen magic into the metal.

It shattered.

The mage yelped in surprise as her runes shattered one by one along the conjoined chains. Whatever spell she had brewing failing with the lapse in her concentration.

The monsters all started in surprise and immediately jumped to their feet.

"What! You...how! You're magic was depleted!" the mage snapped, stumbling away from the now freed monsters and you. Unfortunately for her, the wolf monster leapt forward, pulling her into an encounter. You slumped against the brick wall, gulping down air as you felt your vision swarm. If you were going to keep up this whole doing magic thing again, you needed to train again.

A skeletal hand gripped your shoulders. "Are you alright?" Viv asked, her voice smooth and full of concern. "You look horrible for a human."

You choked out a laugh, "Thanks... I'm...alright," you forced a smile and struggled to your feet.

The battle between the mage and the monster was in full swing. It gave the other monsters time to check on each other and prepare themselves, you noticed. At any time, they could jump in and help, but they were allowing the monster to slash and tear at the mage, and the mage to send powerful blasts into the monster.

You didn't realize you were swaying and trembling until an arm slid across your back. Viv helped steady you, one of her own arms protectively across her middle. Before you could ask her if she was hurt, the mage let out a yell.

Your head whipped over to see three large gashes running from her temple to her chin. The wolf's claws covered in blood as he snarled. The mage's hand clutched her face, but the rage merely fueled her next attack. You weren't even able to blurt out a warning before the magic slammed into the wolf's chest. It stumbled back, blue eyes wide before the colour disappeared. Fur dissolved slowly into dust before your eyes.

"Disgusting," the mage snarled, spitting at the pile of dust. "You choose these beasts over your own kind, then you can die with them. Consequences be damned."

You saw red.

Dust.

Dust covering your hands.

Slowly crumbling. Slipping away in the wind.

Bile in the back of your throat.

Your staff was in your hand before you could make the conscious decision to summon it. The leather grip of it cold and familiar in your grasp. The mage was summoning an attack, but you didn't pay it any mind. She wasn't going to have the time to finish it. You stepped away from Viv and slipped your grip further down the staff and wound it back behind you.

The crack of her skull was the only noise in the room as you slammed your staff into her. The sudden stop was jarring to your arms and sent a flare of pain into your shoulder. She dropped like a brick. For a moment, you raised the staff to drop it down onto the already cracked wound, but you blinked, and the memories disappeared. You stepped back. Staff disappearing from view.

You...just...ki-

"We need to get the hell out of here, do any of you know fire magic? I need to save the remainder for what's to come next," you said, voice sounding hollow as you looked up at the group. Survive. Perservere. Ignore what won't help. The small volcano looking monster glanced over at Viv before nodding its whole body at you. You forced a warm smile on your face. "I need you to start a fire down here and up in the room above. It will cover our tracks for a while. Maybe the humans will assume you all died down here and won't come after you," you said, muttering the last part as you stepped over the mage's corpse, barely sparing it a glance.

You barely remembered what happened between then and getting the monsters to your cart. All you knew was you used the last remaining dredges of your magic to cast a spell to blur their appearance. No one bothered stopping your cart, either, as you left the city. The guards were more concerned about the raging fire consuming the jail and surrounding buildings. Besides, the monsters were hidden beneath the oiled cloth covering the goods you had purchased, along with the blurred magic, they wouldn't have been found.

It was probably half a day before Viv popped her head out of the cloth and asked if they were clear. You barely registered nodding before the fabric was being shifted. You don't remember much after that.

Thankfully, your cow knew the path home, so you only felt a little guilty when you collapsed.

When you woke up, you were sitting in the back of the cart. Tree branches shifting above you as the cart softly bounced along the path. You kept your eyes closed for as long as you could tolerate the bouncing of the cart. If you woke up, then everything would come rushing back. With your eyes closed, you could focus on what you felt rather than seeing the monsters you did save because then you'd have to deal with the emotions of what you did.

When you finally opened your eyes, you took a slow glance around yourself. A few monsters were sitting around you, shooting you concerned glances every couple of minutes. Viv was sitting beside you, holding something small in her arms.

What you really noticed was the almost blinding pain in your forehead. You sat up, a little too fast, and nearly collapsed again. Shit. You pressed your hand against your temple and felt dried blood flake away from the cut. The gorilla monster placed a massive paw on your back and gently patted you.

"We did our best to heal you, but our magic apparently doesn't work too well on physical human injuries," they said, voice deep. It made your head throb dully. You were just glad it wasn't a high pitched voice, or you'd probably have vomited. Wouldn't that have been rude.

"Ah, thanks," you mumbled, gently assessing the rest of your body. Your shoulder was incredibly sore, you were sure it was bruised from hitting the wall and...you moved from that injury quickly. Your knee ached when you shifted it, but nothing too bad so you probably just had a small bruise. You weren't sure how bad the wound on your forehead was, but it wasn't bleeding any more. You felt a bit lightheaded every time you shifted your head or gaze too fast. Then all at once, you felt incredibly nauseous and had to hurriedly push the kind monster gently patting your back away so you could vomit over the edge of the cart. You groaned and tried to ignore the jolting feeling that the cart shot through your body every time it bounced.

After you were sure you weren't going to vomit, and only then, did you turn around to assess the monsters.

They seemed to be doing pretty good, all things considering. The wounds they sustained must've been too old to heal completely. The gorilla monster, whom you learned was named Wei, had a huge scar across their chest. Viv's eye socket was still cracked but looked a touch better than it did before. You relaxed slightly, seeing that the others were generally in good health as well, and no one looked like they were about to dust.

"Where are we heading?" you asked, peering up at the monster driving the cart. You weren't able to accurately describe it, just a bunch of geometric shapes that happened to be able to hold the ropes without hands. It had eyes, too, when it glanced back at you.

"To the Village! In Ebott!" it chirped back in answer before returning its attention to the road.

Viv nodded in agreement, "It's the closest monster settlement where we can get supplies, and you kept muttering about needing to get back there in your sleep."

You felt your face heat up slightly, causing the world to spin, but you dug your nails into your palm, and the sensation disappeared. "Good," you mumbled, "They'll be able to help you guys out there. I think Prince Asgore is supposed to be visiting right now...unless we missed him. I'm not sure of the day. How long have I been out?"

A look flashed across Viv's face, and the corners of her mouth curled upwards. "You know the Prince?"

"Yeah, the big guy and I have tea whenever he's in that neck of the woods," you said, moving to sit down across from the skeleton lady. She shifted a bit so you could sit more comfortably. You leaned your head back against the wooden crate behind you. "You guys have the coolest royal family," you mumbled. Man, you weren't sure how long you slept, but you were still exhausted. Serves you right for not remembering your lessons. If you didn't regularly use your excess magic, your body would become exhausted way too quickly in battle.

Twelve years of barely tapping into your magic had almost gotten you killed.

You needed to clear a spot to practice your magic. Maybe you could convince Nindree to help you? Say you wanted space to train? Yeah... she'd probably be able to do it all herself in an afternoon if you asked her. Or...more likely, you'd do it yourself.

Something nudged you, startling you back awake. Viv was staring at you, eyebrow ridges raised. "I don't think you should sleep again so soon; I hear that's bad for humans and head wounds."

"Eh, I woke up once," you said with a shrug but sat up a bit more to prevent yourself from dozing off too quickly. God, you felt like shit. You didn't really want to have to carry on a conversation, but that was the only way you'd be able to stay awake right now, "How'd you guys manage to get caught?"

Viv sighed softly, "I cannot speak for all of us, but myself, Fader – the one who...was dusted in that jail –, and Wei, we were captured on our way from the monster capital. Wei is the only survivor of my guard that I set out with. The rest were all dusted, trying to defend our caravan."

"I'm sorry," you said immediately, and she shook her head sadly. Her focus dropped down to the bundle in her arms, and you leaned a bit forward with curiosity. She shifted it and revealed a tiny skull.

"They died protecting myself and my son, so I will forever cherish their memories," Viv said, a bittersweet note to her voice. "But I wish they hadn't had to."

The tiny baby shifted, waking up, and small skeletal arms wrestled free from the cloth. He wriggled until Viv relented and moved him so he could look around properly. You smiled down at the baby and waved lightly. You'd never seen a baby monster before. You'd seen plenty of child monsters, however. The baby had a constant skeletal grin on his face, but it seemed to widen a bit, and a soft dusting of blue covered his cheeks. He clutched at his mother a bit but watched you with intense curiosity. Shy, but curious.

Or maybe he was frightened. You probably looked like a mess right now, all bloody and dirty.

Viv introduced you to Sans, and vice versa. You held out your hand towards him, and he reached out hesitantly and grabbed at your hand and examined it. Viv snorted. "He's never really seen humans; he's very young."

"No worries," you laughed lightly as Sans flipped your hand around and started looking at the back of it. Poking at the soft fleshy bites with his sharp fingers. "How old is he?"

"He is only a month," Viv said proudly.

"A month?" you gaped, looking down at him, "A human baby could barely hold their head up."

"Ah, yes, that's so weird to me," Viv admitted, "Humans are strange."

You laughed, "Don't I know it."

The two of you passed into a comfortable silence. The other monsters watching baby Sans pinch and poke at your hand, placing his own hand on yours, and comparing it to his mothers. All with an intense look of curiosity. You didn't really mind, watching his fascination kept your demons at bay.

"I think he's figured out that humans have a skeleton in them," you mumbled as he poked at the bony part of your wrist and then at his mothers. She laughed lightly.

A thought hit you.

"Wait. Where did he come from?" you blurted out, looking up at her. A blush dusted over her features, and you quickly held up your free hand. "N-Not like that! I mean...he wasn't in the jail with you guys?"

"He...was," Viv admitted, the blush disappearing now that she knew that you weren't asking her about the monster birds and the bees. She gently touched her ribcage through her bodice. "I've heard rumours about some mages doing horrible things to monster children...so when I knew there was a chance that we might be captured, I tucked him into my rib cage and told him not to make a sound...I was so worried that he would get caught."

"He's as sharp as his father," Wei spoke up, reaching over and patting Sans on the skull.

Viv bent down and nuzzled the top of her son's head. She gazed down at him with such adoration you could help but smile at the scene, "He gets to meet his papa...thanks to you."

"Oh, don't mention it..." you said, unable to meet her gaze when the small eye light flicked up to your face. Even after saving ten monster lives, you still felt like you did nothing. You didn't manage to save all of them...so you failed. As stupid as you knew that was logically, but it still was like a twisting knife in your chest. You should've done something to help Fader. Anything. You stood aside, weak and trembling. All because you had thought you never needed to use magic again. How wrong you were. Stupidly wrong.

"Where were you guys heading? I'm sure some of the runners from the Village can deliver a message for you guys to your loved ones, letting them know?" you asked, glancing around at the monsters wanting to get away from your own thoughts.

From the pained looks on the faces of the monsters around you, you regretted asking the question.

"Most of us were on our way to the capital...but it's too far away, and the journey is getting too dangerous for us," a small rabbit monster piped up, tugging at its ear as tears bubbled up at the corner of its eyes.

"I'm sorry," you sounded small and quiet, and the rabbit smiled weakly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You saved my life. I have family in the capital who I was going to live with," it explained, reaching over and patting your, thankfully, good knee. "It's nice to know that not all humans hate us."

"We were heading to the Village," Wei answered for himself and Viv, and then rubbed at the scar on his chest. You looked between the two, not wanting to ask why they were heading to a non-descript village but wishing to know. Thankfully, you didn't have to ask.

"My husband is visiting with the King and Prince," Viv gave you a soft smirk as she pulled Sans away as he attempted to investigate further up your arm where the skin was firmer due to your muscles. Wait. Her husband was with the King and Prince? Had you met him before?

"Who's your husband?" you asked, unable to stop yourself.

"You probably haven't met him; he rarely leaves the capital. His name is WingDings Gaster," she said and then let out a massive sigh. "Of course, the first time that old skeleton leaves the capital, his son decides to pop out of his egg, and of course I have to drop everything to bring my damned husband his son. Couldn't have stayed behind. Just had to go with to sate his own stupid curiosity."

The amount of sarcasm and attitude out of the woman's mouth made you huff out a laugh in surprise. Viv grinned at you, "Husbands are such pains."

"I wouldn't know," you shrugged, but kept on a light-hearted smile as you turned and dug out a book from one of the crates. You handed it to Sans, not expecting him to be able to read it but hey. He was already the equivalent of a toddler instead of a newborn. Maybe he could.

"I'd advise putting it off as long as you can," Viv sighed dramatically, "Gaster was so romantic when he was courting me, but he's such an intellect that sometimes I have to drag him from his desk with ink prints on his skull. More than once."

You giggled at the mental image.

You quickly discovered that Viv thrived off having people laughing and light-hearted. Her own smile was contagious, and she knew exactly how to tease and joke to make every monster in the cart break into laughter, and soon, everyone was sharing funny stories in their life. Eventually, Sans crawled into your lap with the book stretched out, and he kept jabbing at the page and looking at you. You took that as a cue to read the pages out loud to him. His attention was rapt on the book.

"We're here," the geometric monster called out, startling you as you were only a few pages into the process of fermenting berries into wine. How were you already there? Just how long had you been out? Was it a full day? That was the only logical explanation, really. After all, you had been travelling for half a day before you finally passed out. You shuffled Sans over to his mother and hopped onto the driver's bench beside the other monster.

Sure enough, the Village was down below. A boost of energy shot through your veins at the sight. It was bustling with activity like it normally was at this hour. You whistled sharply, taking the reins from the monster and flicked them sharply. Your cow mooed its displeasure, but it picked up the pace. You would give her extra scratches and some special treats when you got back to your farm, but you needed to get these monsters to their own people before you started worrying about yourself.

The ride was a lot bumpier with you in charge, but it was faster.

Before you knew it, you were pulling into the Village with a cart full of monsters. One of the Royal Guard Dogs took one look at the cart and howled. The sound carried, and soon the other Guard Dogs were howling and darting over to the cart. It was a horribly sad sound. You turned and saw Viv jump out the back of the wagon with Sans clinging to her shoulders. The dogs surrounded her and hugged her tightly. Mourning Fader?

A hand wrapped around your arm and yanked you off the cart.

If your magic reserves weren't so low, you might've startled bad enough to cast a spell. Being as it was, you simply flailed in surprise until Nindree plopped you down between her and Grillby, her sharp fingernails poking at the cut on your head. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" she demanded, "We get here, and you're gone! You told the villagers you were supposed to be back FIVE days ago! Do you know how worried we were!"

You held up your hands and went to go defend yourself, but before you could get a word in edgewise, Viv slid up beside you and Nindree backed off instantly.

"Stand down, Nindree. You are harassing my rescuer!" Viv scolded, her light-hearted tone betraying her, however. "Have you seen my husband?"

"RESCUER?" Nindree blurted out, eyes snapping between you and the skeleton. Her eyebrows raising almost all the way up to her hairline.

"Gaster's in with the King and Prince, Vivaldi," Grillby said, placed a hand on Nindree's shoulder and forced her to take a step back. Viv shifted Sans from her shoulder to her arms and showed the two guards.

"Because that old geezer isn't here, you two may meet his son before him. This is Sans," Viv introduced, her smile warm and sweet. You grinned as Sans reached out immediately towards Grillby with 'grabby' hands. Something new so obviously, the little skeleton just _had_ to investigate. Grillby didn't make a move to take the tiny skeleton, but you had the distinct impression that Grillby was smiling at the baby even if you couldn't see it.

Nindree jerked a thumb over to the side, "The 'Old Geezer' is here," she chortled, and you turned to see an incredibly tall skeleton standing beside the King. Well, tall compared to you. He was one of the shorter monsters. Viv was suddenly at his side, arms thrown around him, nuzzling his jaw with her forehead. Without hesitation, Gaster scooped her up and cuddled her back.

You immediately turned your gaze back to your two friends, not wanting to leer at the sweet, intimate moment. Nindree grinned at the display before jabbing you in the chest, her smile dropping into a scowl. "You disappear for five days, and then you show up with a cart full of monsters previously thought to be dusted!? Explain! Now."

Her tone left no room for argument.

So, you did.

The two were silent when you finished. Replaying the events just made it all real. You...killed someone. Without hesitation. Oh god. The overwhelming feeling of nausea washed over your body as you leaned back against your cart, gulping down deep breaths. It was fine. You had to. If you hadn't...all those monsters you did manage to save would've been tortured and killed. You would've been killed...or worse. Your eyes clamped shut tightly as you focused on just breathing.

You barely registered Nindree freaking out in front of you, or the warm hands gently touching your arm and the comforting words Grillby murmuring to you.

Dust covering your hands.

Slowly crumbling. Slipping away in the wind.

Bile in the back of your throat.

The crack of bone.

A sudden jarring stop at the end of the swing.

Sharp coppery stench filling your nose.

"...you see?" a voice cut through your frantic thoughts. You clung to that sound. Anything to get you out of this mindset. A few seconds like the voice returned, "What do you see?"

What do you see? You swallowed thickly and slowly cracked your eyes open. What do you see? Metal.

"Good, what else?" the voice asked again, gently and warm.

Your eyes felt heavy as they shifted around. Flames. Blue. Metal. Dirt. Sky. Hands.

With each item your eyes landed on, the more the panic faded. Your focus was on finding something new with each breath.

That was it. Breathe and focus.

It was like something snapped back together in your mind, and the intense panic your body was in dropped, leaving your body shivering from the lack of adrenaline. Sight and sound returned to you, and you felt exhausted as you thickly swallowed.

Sometime during your panic, you ended up sitting on the dirt up against the wheel of your cart. Grillby was crouched beside you, hands gently rubbing up and down your arms in a soothing motion, even though your hands were clutching hard at his gauntlets. Noticing that, you slowly released, feeling your knuckles ache as blood rushed back into them.

Another form stepped closer, but you noticed they were giving you space still. Your gaze slowly trailed up to see the King of All Monsters staring down at you in concern. He gently said your name before crouching down beside Grillby.

"Vivaldi told me of what you did for these monsters," he said gently, and you felt a spike of anxiety in your stomach, but you quickly grounded yourself by turning your attention back to the shiny metal that reflected Grillby's flames instead. "I am concerned about your safety alone out in the woods, so I am sending Grillby to guard you for the next week while we are here. He knows how to handle these situations well."

You slowly nodded.

A beat passed, but you were so focused on the flickering flames in the armour that you missed the look that Nindree shared with Grillby.

"Can I go home?" you asked, voice thick with exhaustion.

Grillby didn't even wait for the King to confirm; he stood up and carefully helped you to your feet. God, you were barely able to stand up. If you weren't so...out of it, emotionally and physically, you would've complained about how weak you felt. You would've complained that you were going to have a babysitter for a week. You would've grumbled about not wanting to be a bother to Grillby or anyone for that matter.

That being said, in your current state, you allowed Grillby to guide you to the back of the cart and help you up into it. You didn't even think twice before you laid down in the space that held monsters only a few minutes ago.

You were asleep before your head touched wood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done! Thanks for the support so far everyone :D  
> <3
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna hmu


	5. Recovering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another panic attack/flashback moment in this chapter just a heads up!

You weren’t sure what woke you from a dreamless sleep, but you didn’t want to be awake. The sun was creeping past the edges of the hide over your window, and there was the soft crackling of the fire in the hearth. Plus, there was a comfortable warmth surrounded the room, and you snuggled deeper into your blankets and let out a content sigh. For a moment, everything was pleasantly calm and peaceful.

Then your forehead started throbbing as the soothing caress of slumber faded. Why wouldn’t it? You had to deal with the consequences, regardless of whether or not your actions were the right ones. With a groan, you lifted your arm to rub at the throbbing spot, but your shoulder screamed its protest. The pain ebbed from your shoulder down your side until your entire right side was just throbbing. You felt like you had been trampled by your cow. Gods. This is precisely why you weren’t a fighter. With a painful groan, you struggled into a sitting position and rubbed at your face.

Your mouth was dry too, you rubbed your tongue against the roof of your mouth and grumbled lightly. Water would be your first task once you managed to crawl your way out of the bed. You weakly shoved your blankets off of your body.

Damnit! You had fallen asleep in your bed in the filthy clothes you had travelled in! You were going to have to wash your sheets now. You could make the excuse that it might’ve been too late last night to wash up properly, but really? Not changing? You hated washing your sheets! It was always a pain!

Another grumble, and you slowly clambered out of bed, limping as you realized that the slight pain in your knee from yesterday was worse. It pulsated more and more with each step. Great.

Well, first thing, first! Get out of these filthy clothes and into something you don’t need to move around as much to get on. Pants were out, even if you preferred to wear pants when you were working, but you didn’t want to have to struggle to pull them up your legs. So, you grabbed one of your other woollen dresses that you had dyed a nice deep green, and placed it on the chest at the foot of your bed and started to yank off your soiled, travelling dress. Thank god you at least had the presence of mind to take off your belt and boots before getting into bed.

A sharp crackle of wood was quickly followed by the room growing brighter as you lifted the dress over your head.

Shit! Did something catch on fire? You hadn’t put out the hearth so-

Oh.

“Grillby?” you blurted out as you realized that the only source of warmth and light was the guardsman. You winced as your head injury throbbed in protest of how loud your own voice seemed to you. “What are you doing in my house?”

The guard was twisted in the chair by the hearth, head facing purposefully the other way so he couldn’t look at you. His flames brighter and flickering rapidly that it was almost difficult to look straight at him, so you shifted your gaze so you were looking at his knee instead. For a moment, you didn’t think he was going to answer, so you went to ask him again.

“King Riagol thought it would be wise for you to have a guard in case other humans came or your injuries were too much for you to handle the farm alone. You agreed,” he added the last part hastily. You heard the nervousness in his tone, which was...strange to you. He never seemed nervous even during the most stressful moments. You vaguely remembered him helping you out of that overwhelming panic...but you couldn’t remember too much of what else had occurred. Hell, the events of the past couple days were all fuzzy. Probably due to your head injury. Speaking of, it didn’t throb when he spoke...only when you did? Strange. Probably because you were so used to having a fire in the hearth even when you did get the occasional migraine.

“Oh,” you hummed quietly, turning your attention down to the tunic in your hands. There was blood down the front of it, presumably from your head injury. A strange sharp spike of anxiety ran through your body and you quickly placed the tunic out of view. “How long have I been out?”

“Just the night,” he said, his voice starting to return to its usual even and calm tone.

Grillby stood up and hit the top of his head against the roof. You winced for him. His hand lifted, and he touched the top of his head, and you watched with sympathy, and a bit of curiosity, as his glove phased through the flames that made up his head to gently rub at the spot that he hit. That solved that mystery. There was a solid form beneath his flames. Well, you kind of knew that when he kissed your hand but this confirmed it was head shaped!

His fire burned brighter as he headed towards the door, “I will go and feed your animals for you as you change.”

“Oh! No need, I can feed them-“ you called after him, but he had already ducked out of the house and quickly closed the door behind him. You stared at the door for a moment, frowning. What was that about? A heartbeat past before you heard his footsteps moving away from the house. It clicked in your mind. He was embarrassed! You giggled to yourself. He had no reason to be embarrassed for hitting his head on the roof.

You shrugged it off. There was no reason to linger on the why, best to move on and not antagonize him. You reached down to pick up the green dress on your chest when you realized the why. You had stripped almost completely naked. In front of Grillby. All you had on was a thin shift that left _nothing_ to the imagination. Your entire face felt like it was on fire.

Of fucking course! You were such a fucking idiot!

You pressed your hands against your face and let out an embarrassed squawk into them. Now you were the flustered mess. You cursed quietly as you finished undressing before yanking the dress over your head and cinching it at the waist with your belt. Gaining a semblance of modesty.

It had been so long since you had to worry about something like that. Actually, thinking back...you really never had to worry about someone in the same room as you. When Gerson stayed at your farm, he always just stayed in his caravan. That was back when there was a clear path down towards your area. You didn’t want to clear out the track and have travellers become curious about the newly cleared way, so you let it overgrow. Gerson hadn’t taken offense to it since most days he left with plenty of time to get to his next destination so you rarely had to worry about him staying the night.

You walked over to the window near the kitchen and threw it open to let some fresh air inside. There was a...stench in your house that you knew was you. Two days of not bathing, covered in dirt and sweat and blood. Great.

You turned back around and paused.

Wait...where did Grillby sleep last night? You glanced over at the rickety chair that he had been sitting on. He better not have spent the night on that! If anything, he better have been out in the barn sleeping in the hay! At least that was comfortable. You grumbled angrily at yourself. If you had been conciouss you would’ve been a better host.

That thought gave you pause. Ha. If you had told yourself two years ago that you’d be worrying about being a bad hostesss you would’ve laughed. You would’ve simply said you never had to worry about uninvited guests showing up at any moment. Only Gerson knew where you lived and that was after years of built up trust.

Shaking thoughts of another time from your head, you turned your attention over to your bookshelf tucked away in the corner. It was your lastest built piece of furniture. A few years ago, you just piled all your books up in the corner when you got what you needed out of them. Now, they were all on display and easier to pick up if you wanted to refresh your memory on a task or if you were bored during the winter and needed something to occupy your mind. A small smile stretched across your face as you ran your fingers over the spines of the books. Some stolen, some bought. All yours.

Now. Where was your book on furniture? You needed to make another bed for Grillby, at least a soft place for him to lay down. How long was he staying anyways? It might just be for last night, but you’d rather have an additional place for someone to sleep rather than boot them out to the barn everytime. Especially if it was Grillby or Nindree. They were friends, after all, and friends deserved more than the barn.

“Like linen and straw? That’s what my bed is made of...but is he more used to feathers? He is part of the Royal Guard. But straw is flammable since it’s so dry…what if he catches something on fire...I should ask him…” you muttered to yourself pulling out the appropriate book from the shelf, leaning against the window frame beside you.

“I won’t catch fire to anything that I don’t intend, and I’m not sure what my bed is made of,” Grillby answered, making you jump away from the open window. You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed him approach from the barn as you flipped through the book. He leaned against the window, allowing himself to look inside the house without having to duck too much. You placed a hand on your chest and grumbled. He quickly apologized.

You apologized back quickly, “Those questions were insensitive weren’t they...”

He simply shook his head and leaned forward slightly to look at all your books. You had a book on basically everything from cooking, to hunting, to foraging, to raising ducks, to building shelters, to smoking meat, to creating bricks, to making tools, to glass blowing. That last one you never got into. You had tried it…once. You already had a forge, but Gods, you hated the patience that you needed for glass blowing. You were more of a get something done fast or be able to do something else while you were waiting.

You looked down at the book in your hands. Right! A bed!

“Can you get me some straw from the barn? It’s up top, not the stuff the animals eat,” you asked, placing the book down on the table and quickly flipping through it.

“How much?”

“Uh…enough?” you said frowning in thought, before yanking the book back up and moving over to the window. You twisted the book around and gestured to the mattress. “If people are going to be staying over more often, I need an actual place for them to sleep.”

He examined the text beneath it for a brief second, “I will be honest. I cannot read human languages.”

You froze and then felt your face flush. “I’m sorry. I assumed that you could because you can speak it.”

Grillby did that thing that you assumed was a smile. A slight shifting of the flames around where his mouth would be. He made some noises that sounded just a bit louder and slightly different than the typical white noise of his flames, and your brows came together. He cleared his throat, “I said, ‘you couldn’t understand my native language.’ Most monsters cannot either, it is fine. Can you translate what it says?”

You nodded quickly and turned the book back around to yourself. “About three bales?” you hummed, “I guess it’d be roughly the same amount of straw as mine but just thinner and longer.”

Grillby gave you a nod before he moved away from the window and towards the barn.

For a moment you watched him walk away. He was...talkative when Nindree wasn’t around. You wondered why. Perhaps it was because Nindree could talk enough for all three of you. Or maybe he was getting comfortable around you? Either way, you were pleasantly happy about this change. It would be awkward to you if he were silent and distantly polite as he generally was when he came over. After all, you really couldn’t read his body language. Half of the time he appeared stiff or at attention like he was ready to fend off an army of humans. Even as you watched him stride to the barn.

Maybe you should ask him why he was so talkative all of the sudden? No that would be rude, and he might take it the wrong way and go back to how he used to be.

Maybe he was more comfortable around you because he saw you nearly naked?

You snorted at that thought and tucked the book back into its spot before hobbling over to the small storage area you had near your bed. It was where you kept everything that didn’t have a place. Plus your clothes. What you were currently interested in was a large cut of woollen fabric that you had. Thanks to your sheep, you were able to make all your clothing by yourself! It had taken a ridiculous time for you to learn how to take the raw wool and get cloth.

Humming, you took some scissors, a needle, and some extra woollen thread and placed them onto the table and then headed outside with the cloth. Grillby was just returning from the barn with all three bales of hay. You thanked him as he placed them down for you. Then you tossed the woollen fabric to him. “Hold that up. I have to measure it.”

He did as you asked, and you were pleased to know that the width of the fabric was just wide enough for him. You got him to fold it in half, and then you cut the excess off. You shoulder protested all the movement, but you ignored it in favour of doing something. Anything really. Keep yourself busy, and you were golden. Grillby watched you curiously as you hummed and took the cloth back inside the house.

“Do you want me to make you breakfast while you work on that?” Grillby asked as he followed after you.

You countered with a question of your own, “Do you know how to make human food?” You could eat magic food, but it didn’t do anything for your hunger. It just boosted your natural magic. Besides, your stomach was grumbling. You couldn’t think of the last time you actually ate. Probably two days ago before you rescued the monsters. He paused and then shook his head. You gestured over to your bookshelf. “Middle shelf there’s a poorly bound book, it’s full of my recipes.” Because most of your recipes were scribbled down onto random slips of paper while you were in human settlements and then brought home. Then you paused, “Right. You can’t read my writing.”

A nod.

“Uh,” you looked at him, and for a moment, you two just stared at each other. Shit. What would be an easy but good reciepe to make that you could instruct him from sitting on your ass? He removed his gloves from his hands, and for a moment you were mesmerized by the small flames that danced around free from the constraining gloves. Part of you wanted to reach out and touch his hand.

Purely to sate your curiosity.

You turned your gaze down to the cloth in front of you adjusting it. Food! Okay...how about...“Scrambled eggs are easy. Have you eaten yet?” you asked, getting a shake of his head in response. “Okay, so…”

The explanation came easily to you as you began to stitch the cover for the mattress. He followed all your directions easily but using his magical flames to eat up the food instead of the hearth fire. That was a sight to see, one that he seemed not even to realize he was making. Especially when the food was cooked faster than even the hottest natural flame could cook it. It was terrific, and you were jealous. Fire magic was complicated control.

He plated the eggs and some fresh fruits on two plates and sat down on the chair he had occupied earlier that morning. You thanked him and immediately dug in. It was hard to mess up scrambled eggs, but you were worried for a moment that he might’ve accidentally overcooked it. Instead, it was better than anything you had ever made.

It was just a few simple ingredients.

How the hell?

“You’re amazing,” you blurted out, causing him to do that endearing version of a blush that you had the pleasure to witness earlier when you had whipped your dress off in front of him without thinking. “This is really good.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, “You’re a great instructor.”

You snorted at the compliment, but you still felt a blush colour your face. The rest of the meal was eaten in relative silence. Afterwards, he took the dishes to clean up as you finished the three sides you needed to close up for the cover. Once you were done, you got to your feet and nearly fell on your ass. Your knee was throbbing even worse. With a groan, you plopped yourself back onto your stool and lifted your skirt to look at your knee. It was swollen and bruised.

You gently rubbed at the offending bruise.

The cover was gently extracted from your other hand. “I’ll fill this with the straw.”

You gave him a smile and nodded.

Once he was out of the room, you got to your feet and limped over to the kitchen and dug around through the bottles beneath the counter until you found some salve that you had obtained a while ago from a human alchemist. Then you limped back over to the stool and spread a generous amount over the bruise. The medicine instantly cooled the area, and you felt the pain slowly ebbing away as it penetrated your skin. Your magic latched onto the presence of magic within the salve and helped draw it in further to the root of the issue.

You would apply some to your shoulder and side later.

Speaking of injuries, you reached up to inspect your head injury and felt a bandage covering the wound. Grillby must’ve put that on when he had gotten you back to your homestead. You felt bad that you were probably a handful to deal with last night. Had you been conscious when you had gotten back and just couldn’t remember? You sighed heavily, rubbing at your knee as you waited for the slave to numb the pain completely.

It was going to be a day of doing nothing, and you hated it.

Grillby entered again a while later with the stuffed mattress, and you finished stitching up the end of it. With your instruction, he tucked it away against the bookshelf and the wall. It was a bit long and blocked the door, so he simply folded it in half until he needed to sleep. You limped over to your bed, and cracked open the chest and dug out some blankets for him. Instructing him to put a few up like curtains to separate the area to give you both some privacy when night came.

Once he was done (only hitting his head against the roof a few times), he turned to you. There was a shifting of his flames, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, the two of you fell into a lull of silence.

“Did you let the animals out into the pasture?” you asked, shoving yourself up to your feet once again. You used the wall to help yourself limp over towards the door. Grillby nodded, moving over to stand beside you, offering his assistance. You took his arm and allowed him to help you outside. “Good...uh, I’m going to bathe. So…find something to entertain yourself.”

He agreed easily enough.

You would’ve asked him to haul the water from the well to the tub, but he was literal fire. Fire and water did not mix well. You did it yourself, taking way longer than usual as you limped back and forth and you were only able to handle one bucket at a time. Even so, you couldn’t fill your tub to the normal level before you gave up and stripped. You sank into the half-filled tub, ignoring how freezing the water was. It strangely soothed your aches and pains, and you grabbed the rough cloth and soap and scrubbed at your skin.

The sharp soap scent stung your nose, but it was better than the stench of dirt and day-old sweat. You watched as the water grew dirtier and soapy. It was almost satisfying, and it lifted your spirits. You unbraided your hair that hadn’t been combed in a few days and took the time to untangle it completely before scrubbing your scalp with the soap. The linen bandage over your temple got in the way, so you gentle removed that and placed it aside.

The soap burned the wound on your temple, and you pressed your palm against it with a groan. That was what you got for making your own soap instead of purchasing it. As you pulled your hand away, your vision swam at the sight of the blood.

The crack of bone.

A sudden jarring stop at the end of the swing.

Sharp coppery stench filling your nose.

“Grillby!” you called out, voice thin and strained. You heard your name being called in response from behind the house. “Can you...talk? Please? Anything...” you listened to the shake and weakness in your voice as you struggled to focus on anything else besides the blood and your thoughts. Your fingers dug into the wooden edges of the tub, feeling the slight give to the wood beneath your nails. The cold water helped. The sting of your forehead didn’t. It was just a reminder.

You heard a gentle noise beside you, and you forced your gaze from the soapy water to see Grillby sitting down with his back towards you. He started talking about something. You couldn’t focus enough on the words strung together, but the sound was enough. The soft background crackle of his flames helped you. A memory drifted into your mind past the horrible memories.

The flickering flames against metal. The warm, gentle movement of hands against your arms.

Focus on that. Only that.

You closed your eyes, exhaled softly, and then inhaled. You repeated that a few times, concentrating on his voice and the cold water surrounding you. After a moment, the panic that had bubbled up faded enough for you to quickly finish scrubbing your face and then you hurried out of the tub. As you yanked on your dress, you felt your body trembling, and then you limped over to Grillby.

“Thank you,” you whispered eyes on the ground. Would you be able to get yourself out of those anxiety-ridden moments if you were alone when you went into it? You really hoped you would be. You were incredibly thankful that Grillby was here...and you knew that if you had been conscious enough you would’ve argued against having a guard...and you would’ve been a mess today.

Grillby shook his head and stood up, picking up the stool beneath him. “It was no trouble. Are you...okay?”

You didn’t answer right away. Were you okay? Did having a panic attack because you saw blood constitute as okay? You didn’t think so...but right now? You still felt a touch of anxiety in your gut, but overall, you think you were? Instead of giving a straight answer, you simply shrugged. That was good enough. He nods.

“Let’s get your wounds dressed,” he said, voice soothing and even.

“I can do it, you don’t have to worry,” you said quickly. You didn’t need him fussing over you. After living twelve years alone by now, you could handle your own wounds by yourself. Grillby’s head tilted to the tub and then back at you, and you sighed. He was right. Even if he didn’t say anything. You freaked out by a bit of blood. How would you handle if you saw more?

Grillby helped you back inside and got you seated on your bed.

You didn’t need to tell him where your medicinal items were. He located them all and brought them over to rest on the bed. “I had to search for them last night,” he explained quietly as he crouched in front of you, “I’m sorry for rummaging through your things.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you mutter as he picked up a salve and used the handle of a wooden spoon to scoop some of the crème out. You frowned slightly, but then you realized that he couldn’t exactly pick it up on his skin. Would it extinguish his flames? You knew water would, but would a crème do it? Or would it be like his clothing? Not fully extinguishing the fire but dampening them? You guessed the former but didn’t voice it out loud. Grillby gently spread the salve over your wound before picking up the bandage and wrapping it just tightly enough over the wound so it wouldn’t slip. You thanked him when he finished.

For a moment, he didn’t say anything as he wiped off the excess goo from the wooden spoon. After that was finished, his gaze lifted to meet your own. For a moment, your breath caught in your throat. You hadn’t ever looked directly in his eyes before. Half of the time, it was too hard to meet his gaze from the height difference. His eyes were white-hot, and you couldn't tear your gaze away from them even if you wanted to.

“Thank you,” his voice was barely a whisper.

“For...what?” you asked, surprised, “You’re the one going out of your way to help me.”

Grillby sighed, a flutter of sparks leaving his mouth. You let out a surprised noise as a few flicked at your cheek. He apologized quickly, averting his gaze to the floor. Before you could tell him it was fine, he spoke, “You didn’t need to save those monsters...from the pieces, I heard last night, you could’ve been killed. Thank you for saving them.”

You reached over before you could think out your actions, and touched his chin and lifted his head. “If I can do something, I’ll do it. There are no thanks needed. It takes more than this to kill me. I’m tougher than I look.”

Grillby leaned a bit forward, you couldn’t tell if your cheeks were getting warmer from his proximity or from his flames. Neither of you moved, your fingers still against his chin. A strange feeling grew in your chest and you suddenly felt shy, but still refused to drop eye contact. Grillby’s hands shifted to rest on the bed beside you, and your stomach leapt.

He stood up abruptly, hitting his head against the roof. His flames immediately shot to their bright and flustered state. You could see a touch of blue deep within his flames as he looked anywhere but at you. “You should rest,” he stated calmly, gathering the supplies he brought over. “I’ll leave you alone.”

With that, he left the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna hmu


	6. Day of Relaxation

Neither you nor Grillby brought up what had happened a few days ago. Every time you thought about mentioning it, a sudden shyness enveloped you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Besides, he seemed to relax by the next day, as if he were content that you weren’t going to say anything. Honestly, you didn’t even know what did happen. Or what might’ve happened if he hadn’t stood up. You’d never felt that way before, and you felt a warmth in your chest whenever you were near Grillby. It was almost addicting.

So, you did that thing you always did when faced with a thought you didn’t want to dwell on. You made yourself busy. So busy, in fact, that you rarely saw Grillby. Much to his chagrin as he was supposed to be watching over your injured state. Thankfully, Grillby wasn’t one to outwardly scold you, just send you really disappointed looks.

“We’re going into the village,” Grillby announced as you returned from hobbling around the forest, checking your traps. His arms were crossed, and he was waiting at the edge of your property as if he knew where you would be returning from. Part of you wanted to ask how he would’ve known that, but you assumed it was ‘magic.’ Monster magic was different than yours. Theirs was more natural, and sometimes they didn’t actually realize they were using it. You had to actively access yours.

“Oh, is it already time for you to head back? Why do I need to go with you?”

You didn’t wait for his response as you adjust the small brace you had made for your knee and headed towards your house. You needed to skin two rabbits. Maybe one could be for dinner tonight, but the other was going to go in the smoker to be preserved for later.

Grillby followed behind you closely, “You do not know how to sit and relax, do you?”

A fairly unattractive snort was your simple response as you started skinning one of the rabbits.

The flame elemental sighed, a spray of sparks fluttering forth at you. A few tickled your cheek, making you giggle. He was silent for a moment before he placed a hand on the wooden table you used for skinning. You glanced over at him. Sometimes, you really wanted to be able to feel intent because you were at a loss of what he was feeling right now.

“You’re injured, and you’re running about like you’re not. Injuries require rest; you’re going to strain yourself if you keep this up,” he stated, voice soft. He held out his hand and you glared at it for a moment before allowing him to take the knife and continue your work. He wasn’t as good at skinning, but over the past couple of days, you had taught him how to.

Part of you wondered if he would ever need this skill, and the other part wondered what it would feel like to have him live with you? How would it feel to have someone to spend your day with? Hunt with? Cook with? Would you end up building another home for him, or add onto the house for two rooms? Or...maybe share one? You were immensely glad that he wasn’t looking at you right now, or he might question your blush.

“I’ve been living alone for twelve years, Grillby. I don’t get to rest.”

“You’re not alone now,” Grillby pointed out.

Your SOUL did that strange pulling sensation at his words, and you swallowed thickly, trying to ignore it. “Until you leave, and then I will be again. I’m not going to change how I behave just because you’re here.”

“No. You may not have someone with you, but you’re not alone anymore,” he insisted, stopping his movements. There was an odd intention to the words...but you honestly couldn’t tell what it was.

What you thought had started out as a light discussion was quickly becoming heavy, and that was not what you wanted. So, you sighed dramatically. “Fine, fine. We’ll go tomorrow to the village. I’ll rest for the day, deal?”

Which probably was the stupidest thing you could’ve agreed to do, as you quickly discovered that now that your injuries were healing, they really, really, liked to become aggravated by the bouncing of the cart along the road to the village. A few times you actually had to bite the inside of your cheek from cursing Grillby out for not avoiding certain dips and grooves in the road. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know the roads, but you couldn’t drive with your arm braced against your body.

Well, you could, but Grillby had reminded you that you were supposed to be resting today.

The ride felt longer than usual because of the agonizing pain, and you made a note to try a healing spell on yourself before you got back into the cart at the end of the day. Your magic levels were still off, but you’d make sure to pop into the Healers while you were in the village to get a boost.

Grillby stopped the cart outside of the village, and you took the chance to try to escape from him to get stuff done. You wouldn’t waste your time in the village with just companionship, there were things you could get done! Unfortunately, you could only go so fast with your bad knee, and Grillby’s legs were longer than yours. He caught up to you, giving you an amused chuckle as you gave him a weak glare. You sighed heavily and followed after him into the village proper.

Monsters waved and greeted the two of you as you walked. A few times, you were stopped by the monsters who cooed over how brave you were, and you were given a few gifts for rescuing the monsters. You tried to refuse the gifts, but the monsters just handed them to Grillby instead, who accepted them graciously on your behalf. He earned a few scowls from that.

“Accept them,” Grillby murmured, ducking down so only you could hear him. “They’re showing their appreciation for you.”

“I didn’t do it for a reward...and I don’t need any of that,” you gestured vaguely towards the small trinkets Grillby was holding out to you. You also kept your voice down, you didn’t want to accidentally insult any of the monsters, they were kind, and you didn’t feel like you deserved it.

Grillby sighed, no sparks this time. You wondered if he could control that, and if he did it for dramatic effect, but shoved that thought aside as he spoke, “All the more reason why you should accept them.”

You felt like Grillby wasn’t going to let this go, so you took the trinkets from him with a soft sigh and tucked them into one of the small pouches attached to your belt. Why did the monsters feel like they needed to compensate you for doing something? Maybe they felt guilty that you had gotten hurt while helping a few of their kind escape? That made you feel bad. They were made of love, hope, and compassion. It was more likely they were trying to show their appreciation somehow.

He seemed pleased when you accepted the gifts, even if there was nothing to really indicate outwardly that he was or not. Instead, he simply straightened out and continued on the path that he was taking before you had most recently been stopped. More and more monsters seemed to wave and speak to you, the closer the two of you got to the center of the village. It made you nervous, but you knew that you looked like shit. Even if you hadn’t seen your reflection since...well probably since you left the human city. That was the last time you had access to a mirror.

Grillby helped you up a set of stairs carved into the face of the mountain. In all the time you had been coming to this village, you had never gone into any of the buildings actually carved into the stone. The shops were all stand-alone buildings, tents, stalls, or caravans. You always assumed these were homes or permanent places.

He knocked briefly on one of the doors before it was opened by a short monster that looked like a bird, but with humanoid legs and arms until their elbows, where it transformed into claws. They looked at you curiously, tilting their head to peer at you from their eye.

“GRILLBY’S HERE,” they cawed loudly before hopping away and disappearing into a side room. Grillby ushered you inside, and you were amazed to see just how big the place was. Especially as King Riagol stood up alongside his son. There was a good two feet above both of their horns. All the furniture seemed to fit the two giant monsters as well.

Asgore called your name loudly, his normal level really. You smiled fondly at him as he hurried over, offering his arm and leading you over to the table. He chattered away, asking how you were and what kind of tea would you like. You kept up easily with him, asking for your favourite type of tea as he pulled out a chair for you and helped you into it.

The chair was clearly made for giant monsters, your feet barely brushed the floor while Asgore who sat in the chair next to you looked comfortably normal.

Grillby lingered by the door, seeming to take up position just next to it. You wondered where Nindree was, seeing the fire monster shifting his mindset from ‘babysitter’ to ‘Royal Guardsman.’ However, Riagol waved him over, gesturing to one of the chairs. “You’re not on duty, Grillby,” Riagol gently scolded the man. “Come sit with us.”

There was only a moment of hesitation before Grillby walked over to the table, he sat down next to you. You felt a small stab of guilt at how comfortable he looked sitting compared to how he did when sitting on the stool around your table. He was always hunched awkwardly, but he never complained.

The King gave Grillby a curious look, but you couldn’t read into it much as Asgore stole your attention once again.

“You should also have some of the Snail Pie. It’s delicious, and should also help with your magic depletion,” Asgore gestured towards the pie that was brought in by the bird monster. You schooled your face quickly to prevent yourself from betraying your initial ‘ick’ factor. Honestly, you had eaten worse things than snails. Actually, you vaguely recalled eating Snails during a party at the Citadel to celebrate one of the various holidays. They weren’t in a pie, however.

You accepted a piece, and it was...obviously an acquired taste. Grillby ate some, but you could tell that he wasn’t enthused about eating it, especially compared to Asgore and Riagol, who ate more than one piece each.

However, you did feel a bit more energized afterwards, as promised. Maybe you wouldn’t need to go to the healers to get a magic boost after all!

The tea time followed the same script after that, with Asgore encouraging conversation amongst the group. The only difference you noticed was Riagol was quietly contemplating something during the entire time, only giving opinions on topics when prompted by either you or his son. His gaze kept flickering between you and Grillby, but would mostly settle on you.

You weren’t going to confront the King about his staring.

Even if it made you feel like you were being judged.

The door to the building opened, and in came Gaster. He tilted his head respectfully to the King, who gestured to the chair beside him. The skeletal man moved, but he seemed more to float, his cloak concealing everything. As he sat down, you watched as he extended an arm from beneath the cloak to accept a cup of tea. There was a hole where his palm should be.

He caught you examining him, and you suddenly felt uneasy and shifted your gaze to Grillby. Instantly, you felt better. He didn’t seem to feel troubled by the tall skeletal man. When you glanced back over to the newcomer, you saw a few hands manifested around him, all with the same hole in the palm.

The hands shifted around him, curiously in a display.

“I never was able to properly thank you personally for rescuing Vivaldi and Sans. They are everything to me,” He spoke without speaking. It was like a whisper in your ear, but you knew you didn’t actually hear anything. You felt like anything less than ‘you’re welcome’ wouldn’t be appreciated by this man. You were almost scared to say anything.

But you did.

Only because you remembered Viv saying something vaguely about Gaster falling asleep on freshly inked paper, and waking up with stained bones.

“You’re welcome, Lord Gaster; I am glad I was able to do something to assist them,” you said with a smile you reserved for people who you knew should be respected, but you weren’t sure if you did or not.

Gaster’s head tilted at the ‘assist’ part of your sentence. His manifested hands shifted again, “With your level of magic, I’m sure you will be of great assistance in the future.”

“What-“you started to speak, but the King leaned forward and rubbed at his eyes with a sigh.

“Wingdings, where are your manners? We don’t talk shop over tea,” Riagol sighed, casting you an apologetic look, “She did not come all this way to hear you discuss magical properties and potentials of Human SOULS.”

You were curious, but you saw the look Riagol shared with Gaster, and you knew better than to correct the King.

The skeletal man seemed to deflate slightly. “Another time, perhaps. Oh! Vivaldi heard you were in the village and requested that if I saw you to inform you that she is by the river with our son if you would like to speak with her.”

You were already used to the weird sensation of the whispery non-voice. Grillby stood up and helped you out of your chair before you had really decided that you wanted to leave yet. You politely said your goodbyes to the three monsters, before following Grillby from the building. He didn’t seem uncomfortable while sitting beside you, but the moment the two of you were heading down the steps? He seemed a lot more at ease.

Formalities perhaps? Or was he just so not threatened by you that he let his guard down around you so quickly?

That thought your stomach flip, and your SOUL warm.

Before you could read too much into that feeling, you spotted the two Grillby was leading you towards.

Viv was reading a book to her son, something incredibly technical involving SOULs that you knew no human child could even begin to comprehend. However, Sans seemed enthralled, his tiny eyes flickering along with the page as she read. He didn’t look up when you stepped up to them. Viv’s eye light darted over to you before she gave you a broad grin and closed the book, earning an upset grump from her son.

“Hello! You look awful!” she said cheerfully as she patted the ground beside her. Grillby assisted you down onto the ground with only a bit of you resisting his help. Your knee really didn’t like you getting down onto the ground, and with only one free hand, it was even harder to sit on the ground.

“Thanks,” you said, drily, earning a laugh and a pat on the hand from the skeletal woman. The crack on her eye socket seemed a bit less severe, but there was still no eye light manifested in its depths. You wanted to ask her about it, but you didn’t know if she just never had a light in that side. Instead, you ignored your specific curiosity and focused on the generals. “How’re you doing?”

Viv placed the book to the side, and Sans instantly was out of her lap and attempting to lift the hefty tome up again. Grillby reached over and picked it up for him. Sans was over in his lap in a second. Patting the cover excitedly making excited noises. You smiled at the interaction.

“We’re doing good. I don’t think I’ll ever regain my full eyesight, but losing half of my vision is better than losing my son or my son losing his mother,” she said, her tone light as if she wasn’t talking about such a serious subject. She smiled fondly at Grillby and Sans. You could tell that Grillby was reading to Sans, your ears just picking up distinct crackles and snaps of his flames that were different than his typical ambiance. Sans seemed to understand it fully.

Grillby had taken off his gloves to make it easier for him to flip through the pages, and you watched as Sans gave his hand a thorough examination. You reached over with your own hand, palm upwards to show Sans the difference between yours and Grillby’s hand. Sans ran a phalange over your nail and then started poking at Grillby’s fingertips. You wondered if he found something similar. Grillby continued to read the book, ignoring Sans’ curiosity of his hands.

Viv bumped her shoulder very lightly into yours. You retracted your hand and turned back towards her. “Thanks to you, Sans has insisted we read to him constantly.”

Your eyebrows flew up, why thanks to you? You barely remember reading to him, “I read maybe five pages of a really dry book to him.”

“He latches onto learning new things,” she explained, drawing your attention back over to Grillby and Sans. Sans had turned his attention to Grillby’s face. His tiny skeletal hands patting curiously all over. You coughed to cover up a laugh. Grillby’s focus shifted to you, and his flames brightened. A curious coo noise erupted from Sans, and you felt a wide grin break over your face. Their interaction was adorable.

Viv laughed, “Guess Sans is really  _ warm _ ing up to you.”

Grillby’s attention shifted yet again, but you could tell that this time, there was exasperation as he looked over at Vivaldi. The woman grinned, and you could tell it was smug.

“Please don’t,” Grillby spoke up, taking Sans’ hands away from his face. Sans’ eye lights widened as he watched the line of Grillby’s mouth shift as he spoke so you could understand as well.

“Why are you getting all  _ fired _ up?” she said, and you choked back a giggle, more at Grillby’s reaction than at what Viv was saying. The red hot slits that made up his eyes narrowed at her, which just egged her on more. Tossing one pun after another in an impressive manner. Some were such clever word plays that it took you a moment to fully get them, and they had you laughing in delight. Sans started to giggle along with you, especially with the way Viv was delivering them. Grillby let out an exasperated spray of sparks and handed over the baby bones to you before getting to his feet.

“I am going to see Nindree.”

Sans let out a yawn that had his mouth wide open. You grinned down at him, seeing his little eyesockets start to droop. “So much excitement, huh?” you teased him, and his head started to droop. When you glanced to watch as Nindree tackled Grillby literally to the floor, Sans crawled out of your lap and into his mothers, he latched onto her collar bones and promptly fell asleep holding onto her. You idly watched the mini-wrestling match before Nindree was thrown off of Grillby, and the later struggled to get up before Nindree was on him again. You shook your head in amusement. Viv giggled at the display as well, and then spoke up, “Don’t let him fool you, he enjoys puns. If you want to see someone who hates puns, you should see how Gaster reacts.”

You raised your eyebrow, curious. She took that as an excellent opportunity to talk about her husband and her family. You listened contently throughout it all, especially since she didn’t ask anything about your family or life. That wasn’t a road you wanted to go down with someone you had barely known for two days. You wouldn’t tell her anything. Besides, it wasn’t as if you really had a family anymore.

Mages rarely stayed with their birth family, as they ‘needed’ to be trained and grow up within the Mages Guild. You couldn’t even remember what your mother or father looked like. The earliest memory you had was waking up in the hospital room of the Citadel, a storm raging outside the window, and nurses whispering about you by the entrance. No one would tell you anything about yourself. Hell, you knew the name you went by when you were still at the Citadel wasn’t actually your birth name. Neither was the name you go by now.

The man you called Father had been someone you had thought of as family for years. Until you figured out that he had been manipulating your feelings towards him to encourage that father-daughter bond. Until you figured out that he only gave a shit about you because your magic capabilities were strong enough that you could’ve taken over his position as Grandmaster Sage by the time you were eighteen.

You would’ve been the youngest Grandmaster Sage in recorded history.

Instead, your ‘Father’ had decided to elect you as his predecessor himself, and thus you couldn’t take over the position unless he died first.

A hand touched your shoulder, startling you out of your thoughts. Viv’s eyebrow ridge was raised at you, a curious look over her face. “Are you okay?”

“Ah- yeah, I just...my head injury has been making me zone out,” you quickly lied, waving a hand dismissively. “It should go away soon, humans brains kind of get weird for a bit after injury.”

“I see,” Viv said softly, but you saw a sharp calculative look that screamed ‘bullshit.’ But you wouldn’t admit what you were really thinking about, and subsequently ignoring her talking about her family and the hijinks that had gotten into the past couple days. “Well, Sans needs to go and see his father now. Would you like me to call Grillby back over?” There was something in her eyes that you couldn’t quite place, maybe amusement? Teasing? You weren’t sure.

You shook your head, “I’ll be fine,” you promised with a smile as she got to her feet. She didn’t even need to hold onto Sans as she stood up. He shifted himself to cling better to her in this new position, still completely asleep cuddled against his mother. You waved as she headed off in a similar direction that Grillby had hurried off to earlier.

With no distractions, you looked over to the river flowing a couple of feet away from you. The sound was soothing and drowned out the sound of the village behind you.

For a moment, you could pretend you were by your homestead, all alone sitting by the bank of the river down there.

The familiar sense of loneliness draped over your shoulder, but this time comfort didn’t come with it. It hurt. It felt like someone twisted a knife into your SOUL. You clutched at your shirt over where your SOUL sat and you inhaled deeply. How would you feel when Grillby left to go back to the capital? Why were you feeling like this now? You hadn’t cared this much at the prospect of being alone before?

You thought about waking up and not seeing Grillby folding up his mattress, already dressed, and calling over a ‘morning’ as you groggily sat up. Or eating a meal with him. Or doing chores with him. Or reading near him. Or talking to him. Or hearing his fiery ambience.

GAH!

You flopped onto your back and glared up at the sky. Damn Gerson! Making you make friends! Just by one stupid comment! You had gone twelve years without having anyone to miss, and you had felt fine!

Your glare softened.

No, you hadn’t.

You really hadn’t.

You just were too busy to miss having someone around. You were too focused on surviving that you didn’t care that you were alone. You just needed to make it to the next day. If someone else had been around, you would’ve had to worry about keeping them alive and safe as well.

There were nights when you had laid in bed, almost too exhausted to stay awake, where you realized that you were going to die alone. No one would mourn your passing. No one would be able to take care of your farm after you. Those nights you cried yourself to sleep. Those nights you were afraid to close your eyes because what if they didn’t open?

Now...you were safe. The only people who knew where you lived wouldn’t hurt you. You had friends. People you could spare a moment to miss. You had people in your life who gave a shit about you. Not the fact that you could be of use to them. Nindree had freaked out when she had learned that you were supposed to be back five days sooner than you had returned. Grillby was still worried about your injuries and worried about you overexerting yourself.

They would leave in a couple days, and they would travel roads less than kind to monster kind. Would they be okay?

Now you were worried about their safety travelling so far away from Mount Ebott.

The worry set in quickly, swirling around amongst the loneliness, and you sat up sharply.

You needed to see them.

A warmth quickly chased away the negative feelings in your SOUL, startling you before Nindree skidded to a stop beside you, kicking up dirt and mud. She cackled loudly, shifting and was about to pounce at you when Grillby grabbed her pauldrons and yanked her back.

“She’s injured still!” Grillby scolded, his flames a bit darker than you’ve seen them before. Almost red instead of orange. They quickly adjusted back to their normal tone, so...maybe you just imagined they were darker?

“Aw! Grillbz!” Nindree huffed, “Come ON!!! Don’t be such a stick in the mud!”

Grillby hoisted her away from you and gave her a stern look. His arms were crossed. The strictest of body language. She groaned loudly, throwing her hands in the air, “UGH! FINE! You win.”

“Win?” you blurted out, smiling at their antics. Nindree slipped around Grillby and dropped onto the ground beside you. She threw an arm around your shoulder, very gently which surprised you. She grinned her toothy smile down at you. “What did he win?”

“I wanted to spar with you! BUT! Someone is absolutely no FUN,” Nindree said, tossing a glare at Grillby before squeezing you a bit closer to her, “He cares about your safety or something like that.”

Grillby huffed; this time, a plume of smoke exited his mouth instead of sparks. An angry thing, perhaps? You had never seen him exhale that dark of smoke before, and he hadn’t uncrossed his arms yet. Why was he so mad? You weren’t broken or anything, just sore. Anything Nindree would’ve done would’ve only hurt, but probably not done any permanent damage. Right?

“We can spar next time,” you promised her with a smile, “But I’m a squishy fleshy being who needs to heal after getting the shit kicked out of me. I don’t magically heal the next morning after eating dinner.”

Nindree leapt to her feet instantly, punching the palm of her hand with a wicked grin. “FUCK YEAH! I wanna see you in ACTION!”

You felt yourself smiling at her enthusiasm, “I’m not a great fighter. I kinda dodge more than anything...”

Grillby helped you to your feet, “Dodging is a good skill to have.”

You smiled at him, the warmth in your SOUL blossomed the moment he touched your arm. “I’m not even that good at it, but maybe Nindree can throw enough stuff at me that I’ll get better at dodging,” you joked weakly, gesturing to yourself. You glanced over to Nindree, but instead of seeing an excited, grinning, fish lady who was pumped at the thought of training a squishy human. You saw something a bit off-putting.

“Don’t encourage her.” Grillby sighed, sparks flying. When Nindree didn’t respond, his head turned towards her to see what was with her.

She was staring at your chest; there was a strange sensation around your SOUL for a second. Her head slightly tilted, and face furrowed in thought. Her eyes flicked over to Grillby’s chest for a moment, and her face furrowed even more.

“Nindree?” you asked, taking a step forward towards her.

She still didn’t respond or even seem to realize that you had gotten closer to her.

Why wasn’t she speaking? Why was she just staring at yours and Grillby’s chest?

Could she see your SOUL?

No. No one could see SOULs unless they were drawn out during an encounter. Right? Or could Monsters see SOULS? That was what the Mages Guild had taught you, but they didn’t exactly communicate with Monsters after all. Plus, it’d been 10 years since then so, your information could be a bit outdated.

“Nindree.”

Grillby’s voice was firm.

She snapped out of it instantly, and a stupid grin plastered over her face. She chortled loudly before clapping a hand on Grillby’s shoulder. “There’s a storm brewing over the mountain, you two should get back to the farm!” she said, her voice normal as if she hadn’t just spent nearly five minutes without speaking. Maybe she had some magical weather sensing powers? No, otherwise, she would’ve noticed sooner on the day the three of you had met.

Her attention was drawn to the dark clouds swelling at the top of the mountain. The wind was starting to pick up. Maybe she just zoned out?

“Are you okay?” you asked her, reaching out and touching her arm. Nindree’s smile down at you was a lot less broad and a lot softer.

“YEAH!” she said, her loud tone not matching her smile.

Something was off? But Grillby seemed to relax, so you knew it must’ve not been a bad thing. You didn’t know Nindree as well as Grillby did.

Nindree pulled you into a nearly bone-crushing hug, and you quickly patted her side. It jarred your shoulder, and a blast of pain shot through the joint. She immediately let you go and then shoved you towards Grillby, who quickly stabilized you.

“SEE YA!” Nindree chortled before heading off just as quickly as she came.

Grillby looked over to the mountains before back to you, “So much for letting you rest the entire day.”

You shrugged your good shoulder, feeling the pain ebbing away from your injured one. You didn’t usually do too much during rainy weather anyways. Plus, you would need to get back to the farm to put the livestock away just in case the rain turned into a storm. You told him as much, and he ushered you back over to the cart. While it was a short visit, you did find yourself thinking that it was a waste of time. A few years ago, you definitely would’ve thought it was a massive waste of time. Four hours of total travel time for only two hours of visiting was ridiculous.

However, you got to see Nindree, Viv, and Sans again!

Gerson was nowhere to be seen, but he didn’t have a set schedule, so you might not see him for another two months or maybe less. The old tortoise went where he wanted.

You climbed back onto the cart after a hasty goodbye to King Riagol and Prince Asgore, who both pouted a bit at your short visit but thoroughly understood why it was short. This time, instead of nestling in the back of the cart, you sat beside Grillby. Hopefully, sitting up cause less jarring to your injury.

The fire elemental was speaking quietly to his King before he turned and sat down next to you on the driver’s bench. Your SOUL did a happy flip, and you absentmindedly rubbed at your collarbone. Grillby glanced down at you, a rare smile flashing over his face, “Let’s head home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you didn't notice, I have upped the chapter count to 32 because I was looking over my plotline and I realized I left something out that's PRETTY important to the storyline. woops! Which means that you get an extra chapter :P
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna chat


	7. Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter from Grillby’s POV (comparatively)

Grillby was quietly listening to you getting ready for the day while simultaneously trying so hard not to wake him up. If he had been confident enough to know that you had already gotten changed, he might’ve announced that he was indeed awake. However, he was worried that either a) he’d startle you, or b) you’d be in the middle of getting changed. Either option wasn’t something that he wanted to happen. So, he just laid quietly waiting for you to move towards the kitchen so that he would know that you were done getting ready.

A small ‘oof’ escaped your mouth as you accidentally dropped a tin of something. His eyes shifted over to the blankets that were set up for privacy around his makeshift bed. You went quiet, were you listening to see if you woke him? Or were you focused on something?

After a moment, your shuffling resumed before he heard the window near your bed opened. A breeze drifted in a moment later, and he could smell the moisture in the air. Was it going to rain soon? Or was that just the leftover rain clinging to the earth from last night?

As he idly wondered, there were a few noises of effort before he heard you moving about outside. Did you really just sneak out your window? Why couldn’t you just rest so your injuries would heal faster? Sure, Grillby wasn’t precisely the best farmhand, because he had never worked on a farm before, but he put in his maximum effort!

Grillby sat up, rubbing at his face. You didn’t look back at the house as he turned his attention out the window beside him. You were wearing trousers today, and he vaguely remembered you saying that you preferred trousers, but skirts were less strenuous to get on. Did that mean your injuries were feeling better? He hoped so. All that discolouration made him uneasy.

Discolouration in monsters meant they were going to Fall Down.

Humans were different.

They were able to go through hell and back.

You were different.

As he stood up to dress, his mind wandered. He wondered what colour your SOUL was. Green? You were kind, but for a primary trait? He could see Bravery being more likely. For a human to risk their own life to try to rescue monsters? If he really wanted to know, he could simply ask Nindree; she was able to see SOULs, and CHECK them, without bringing them out for an encounter. He still needed to grill her about why she had so blatantly stared at your SOUL yesterday. She had also CHECKed his own SOUL. That annoying sensation of someone flicking his SOUL made him snap at her.

Whatever she saw in your SOUL, wasn’t anything terrible. He knew that much. Nindree wouldn’t have run off like that without informing him first of what she saw if it was something dangerous.

Typically, Grillby was able to read Nindree like an open book. Yesterday was not one of those days. She had utterly closed off her mind and then acted like nothing was wrong. That was the reason she was the best monster to be the Judge. No one suspects the hyperactive woman who seemed to barely be able to concentrate on anything if it wasn’t for Grillby or the King ordering her to. Even if Grillby wasn’t supposed to know, but the two of them were thick as thieves. They told each other everything.

Well, he told her everything except…

A sudden flush of heat brightened his flames as he froze.

Did Nindree see how he felt about you?

What had she seen in _his_ CHECK?

Now he _really_ wanted to confront Nindree about what she had seen. He was eternally grateful that Nindree hadn’t said anything if she had seen his feelings towards you. Nothing would be worse than you figuring out that he had feelings for you because of Nindree blurting them out.

Grillby stared down at his chest plate, and then his attention flicked over to you feeding the ducks. His SOUL thumped happily seeing you smiling widely at the ducklings as they chased you around their pen. He was on duty; he was guarding you. Not here for a social visit. So with a sigh, he hoisted the chest plate up and then added the rest of his bits of armour.

After he had folded up the mattress and took down the blankets, he exited your home to help you.

You were rolling your injured shoulder, staring blankly at the ground. Grillby couldn’t read your face, but he could tell you were in a bad place mentally. In the past two years he has known you, you rarely ever zoned out while working on the farm. It just wasn’t something you did. You forced yourself to do as much as you could, busying your mind, so you didn’t have to focus on your thoughts.

Yet, he didn’t know you well enough to confront you about that.

He knew that not acknowledging trauma never went well. Memories of his family surfaced, and he sighed, feeling his flames dim slightly.

You turned at that moment, and your face lit up with a smile as your eyes landed on him.

“Good morning!”

Was that because you saw him and were happy to see him, or you wanted to hide your emotion? Again, he didn’t know you well enough. Not yet. He wanted to get to know you, but he felt like you held him at arm's length. You never offered any information at a deeper level than the immediate apparent details, and he knew that you didn’t talk to Nindree about your feelings or past either. She would’ve bragged to him about it.

Grillby sighed softly, preventing any smoke or sparks from escaping him. Nindree probably was aware of Grillby’s crush on your way before he ever figured it out.

“Good morning,” he responded as he walked closer to you. His SOUL swelled happily as he stopped at the fence that separated the duckling pen. You leaned lightly against the separation, smiling up at him. He always forgot how small you were. “How did you sleep?”

Light, small talk. It was where you two were comfortable. He never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, especially with how the two of you met. He remembered how you stiff and hesitant you were the moment they got to the farm after taking you back at Riagol’s request. Nindree had pushed your boundaries hard that night, so much so he had to intervene. Informing her that what she was doing was imposing and overstepping your boundaries.

You allowed him to help you turn the animals out into the pasture for the day before heading back inside for breakfast.

It was a simple breakfast, some duck eggs, oats, beans, cheese, and bread.

A soft pattering of rain added to the quiet atmosphere, and you sighed softly as you plated your portion of the meal. “I guess we’re stuck inside again today,” you said, a soft pout on your face. “I’ll have to think of something to do…”

Grillby knew you were more talking to yourself than to him, so he quietly plated his own meal and sat at the table with you. It was still awkward for him to sit at the small table, but using the stool, he was actually able to tuck his legs beneath the table.

You finished before he did and removed the dressing over the cut on your forehead. Grillby’s eyes lingered on the injured flesh. It had been an unexpected event when you had shown up. He was in a meeting with the King, Nindree, and Gaster. The chorus of mourning Royal Guard’s chilled him to the core, and they had immediately stopped the discussion to figure out why the Guard Dogs were howling so mournful. The sight of you struggling to stay upright half-turned to watch the huddle of guard dogs…he had never felt so protective before.

Yet, he had reigned in his emotions and simply followed Nindree over. If he had reacted how Nindree did, he worried that your panic attack might’ve been worse.

He had enough of them to know how to deal with them, after all.

Even if Riagol hadn’t ordered Grillby to escort you back to your farm, he would’ve offered it himself. You were out of it after you had come out of the panic attack, and he didn’t want you to be alone. The meeting with the King was important, but…so were you. Riagol wouldn’t have sent Grillby with you if that wasn’t the case.

Besides, it stopped the conversation of whether to accept a Peace Treaty or risk going to war with Humanity.

A sudden sting swelled in his SOUL that made him drop his gaze to the fire in the hearth.

The Royal family was so optimistic that everything would work out, and that peace could be achieved.

Grillby and Gaster were both against meeting up with the humans any time soon. After all, Gaster’s SOULmate had been captured by a Mage, and the Human King controlled the Mages Guild. Humanity was extending an olive branch, but holding a knife behind their back. Either they went to the peace treaty, and they were betrayed, or they didn’t, and Humanity declared that Monsters weren’t willing to work towards peace.

Sure, everything could go well. A considerable part of Grillby wanted to believe in the good in Humanity.

Especially spending so much time with you.

Yet...he couldn’t. Not really.

There was a part of him that held a grudge against humans.

“You okay?” your voice broke through his thoughts as you nudged his plate against his arm. Oh. He had barely touched his food. Grillby gave you a weak smile, but then remembered that you wouldn’t be able to tell that he did anything. Just as he was about to respond verbally, you leaned your chin on your hand and smiled, “Can I ask you something?”

A nod and your smile grew a bit...shy?

“Why is there a Royal Guard? The only person I know who shows any...uh,” you frowned a bit, eyes flicking to the table as you thought of the correct word, “violent tendencies, is Nindree...and even then she’s more just excitable.”

Grillby waited until he was finished with his breakfast to answer your question. He’d rather not have a conversation while he was eating, he didn’t want to be rude and talk with his mouth full or anything of the sort. You, thankfully, waited patiently for him to answer.

“What happened to Lady Vivaldi is nowhere near the first time that sort of thing has happened, it’s just becoming a more regular occurrence,” Grillby explained, turning his gaze towards the hearth. “For as long as Humanity has been aware of monsterkind, they have attacked us. Few monsters wish to actually fight back because we’re weak compared to humans. Those who can fight back offered our services to the King, and he created the Royal Guard.”

“You offered to fight against humans?” you asked, there was no judgement in your voice, just curiosity. There weren't many opportunities that either of you got to ask personal questions like this. Grillby looked over at you, but you weren’t looking at him. Your attention was directed towards the hearth fire as well. There was an odd look on your face that he couldn’t quite place. “Why?”

Grillby’s flames dimmed instantly, and your head whipped over to him.

“Grillby?”

He rubbed at the front of his chest plate as a burst of soothing coolness washed over his SOUL. It did allow the sharp ache ease, but it did nothing to bring his mood back up. Did you even realize you were doing that? A weak smile stretched over his mouth. Probably not. Was that because you were a mage, or were your intentions to soothe his sorrow that strong? Either way...it touched him, and any other time he would've mentioned it but not now.

“Humans murdered my mother and father,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. Your hand flew to cover your mouth, and you shifted closer to him.

“I’m-“

He shook his head, “It’s...not your fault. Do not say ‘I’m sorry.’”

You reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. “How...old were you?”

Grillby...couldn’t actually remember how old he currently was. Monsters didn’t typically count how many years they’ve been alive as they didn’t care about how much time they’ve lived, but how they’ve spent their lives. Human calendars also had little meaning to the general population of Monsters. However, when his parents dusted, he was still a small baby flame. Old enough to take care of his little sister had just recently emerged from her egg, but… “Too young to lose my parents...and my sister was even younger than I was.”

He grew dimmer and dimmer. He loved his sister and wished she had been able to meet their parents.

“Did…did you…” you started to say but fell silent. You were searching his face as if it held the answers to your unvoiced question.

“Did I?” he encouraged, even if the question was bad…he wanted to air it all out sooner rather than later. There may be a chance in the future to discuss this further, but if it was happening now, it was happening now. 

“See?” you asked quietly.

Grillby inhaled sharply, the sound an alarming snap of his flames.

Water. Too much water. His mother had ripped off her cloak to cover her children. Grillby hadn’t seen it…but he had heard the noises. The sharp sizzling of water turning to steam. He heard his fathers angry roars; his mother’s hand had brushed his head before it dissipated to dust.

He had grabbed his sister and ran.

Ran until he couldn’t run anymore.

His flames had been too hot…too bright…for any human to get near. He had an intent to harm any human who came near. His fear blinded him.

Grillby felt his body growing hotter, and he quickly went through his normal motions. What could he see? Hear? Taste? What was real and what was in his head? The weight on his shoulder probably helped the best, and he felt another hand rest on his forearm.

“Grillby,” you said, so calmly and softly, “I shouldn’t have asked.”

He didn’t say anything. Couldn’t trust his voice, or at least the one he could actually speak to you with.

You shifted even closer, and he glanced over at you. Why were you getting close? His flames were still much to hot for you...though he would never wish harm to you. Even if you were to touch his flames now, they would do you no harm. There was empathy in your eyes, and he found himself wanting to know about your past. Just so that he didn’t have to focus on his own. Where did you come from? What happened to you? Why was a lone mage woman living on her own in the middle of the forest? He found the tight feeling around his SOUL alleviate the longer he thought of you rather than his own past. However, he trusted that you would come forth with your own past when you were ready, and when you trusted him as equally as he trusted you. 

“Things did get better. Riagol found me and my sister homeless in the human city and took us back to the capital. That was before the Prince was born. I offered myself as a member of the Royal Guard, and I met Nindree. Now, my sister has a SOULmate, and they’re planning on having a child soon,” he said, interrupting his own inner turmoil. Your eyes flashed over to his, and he saw the surprise and relief at his lighting the mood. Then your face furrowed in confusion.

“SOULmate?” you asked as you removed your hand from his shoulder, and picked up the plates. There was a relieve to your body, clearly, you were glad that the darker past was gone, replaced with a need to learn about a new word. Grillby instantly missed the gentle weight of your hand on his shoulder. As for the question; it wasn’t a surprise to him that you were confused by that. Humans didn’t mate the same way monsters did. Not only could they not do it without a monsters assistance, but their relationships were a lot more...temporary, and with shorter lives, there wasn’t a need to bond two SOULs. Even if they did, it wouldn’t benefit two human SOULs in any way.

“I suppose a rough equivalent would be a spouse in human terms,” he simplified, he did want to talk more about it...but mainly just to lighten the mood. Talking about eternal love was much more optimistic than parental death, running for your life, and the sort, and you seemed to respond better to upbeat conversation. Was that why you enjoyed Nindree’s presence? A bit of envy flared in his SOUL, did you enjoy his presence as well? He shook his head softly, now was not the time to be getting upset over that. He was with you right now, and if you were really against his presence you would've done more to get him out and away from you and your home. The home that you had once tried multiple times to not let them see it.

“But...aren’t SOULs your entire being? That sounds a bit more...” you waved a hand in the air as you looked back at him, “permanent?” He nodded in response and your confused look turned thoughtful. “So, could you break the bond? Or is it really that permanent? How would you know that you even want to have a bond that permanent?”

"You...can break the bond, but it may kill any of the partners involved. Or leave a permanent empty feeling in your SOUL. Or...well, so the legends go," Grillby explained, curiously watching as your face shifted in thought. With all the books you had, it was no wonder you were like a sponge when it came to new knowledge. He shifted to your second question, “It’s a combination of what your SOUL feels and what you want. Your SOUL reacts to potential SOULmates before you’re even aware that it is doing so, but ultimately, it’s up to you whether you bond with that individual or not. If not, then your SOUL will send out the intent that it does not want to bond and the other SOUL will stop its reaction. No harm done between either, maybe hurt feelings but nothing permanent. Typically the ideal mate is someone who you are in sync with, who can understand you, who you trust with your life, and who is there for you throughout everything.”

Another thoughtful look.

You sat down and stared at him. Your face going through plenty of emotions. He wondered if you knew how expressive you were, after years of living on your own you probably got used to not needing to school your face.

After a full minute of staring, Grillby wanted to shift uncomfortably in his seat but resisted the urge to do so. Why were you looking at him as if you were searching for an answer? Wait...if, his SOUL, was reacting this much to you, yours must be reacting the same way. His flames grew brighter. If you were a monster, then he’d already have asked to court you. However, he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, as you were a human. Would you even want to have a connection like that with him? Would you tell him to leave if you figured it out? Would you be disgusted?

He hoped not.

He really liked you.

Even if his SOUL weren’t thudding against his chest at your searching gaze, he would like you. You were intelligent, resourceful, patient, determined, and caring.

Not to mention, beautiful.

If only he weren’t so timid about his feelings...afraid to damage the delicate companionship he had with you.

A dawning look crossed over your face.

“Are you and Nindree SOULmates?” you blurted out.

Oh.

That...wasn’t what he thought...you were going to say.

“No!” Grillby crackled out without thinking; his voice was a lot higher than he meant it to be.

You recoiled slightly in surprise, and then a deep blush flooded across your face. “SORRY!” you covered your face, “I just- you two are super in sync, and she seems to understand you even when you don’t talk- but I-You can talk without me noticing, so it’s probably just that! Oh, Gods! Don’t tell Nindree I said that! Please? She’ll never let it go.”

He quickly schooled his tone, “I consider Nindree, my closest friend. I respect her, but I don’t have those feelings for her.” Grillby intentionally met your gaze as you peeked out at him from beneath your hands. The blush on your face became a touch darker if that was even possible at this point. Would you faint with all that blood rushing to your face? Apparently, humans did that sometimes?

You lowered your hands to your lap, and you turned more towards him. Maybe…maybe you wouldn’t reject his feelings? Grillby swallowed dryly, “Actually, I have-“

You quickly stood up and swayed a bit. Grillby panicked as he reached to steady you. He knew it! Stupid! He should’ve done something to prevent this. Humans with their weird fleshy, sensitive bodies.

A soft chuckle left your lips as you got your balance back, “Sorry. I-uh, I should stop while I’m ahead, so I don’t embarrass myself anymore. Uh…since it’s raining…” you walked over to the bookshelf and withdrew a thin book from one of the taller shelves. “Want to learn how to read a human language?” you asked, almost shyly.

Grillby softly laughed and then nodded. A large grin stretched over your face, and you bounded back over to him with the book. As you placed the book on the table, you shifted your chair closer to him. His SOUL sang when you sat down, and your arm rested against his own.

“Would you like to learn my language? You cannot speak it but…” he offered softly, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the soft crackling of the fire in the hearth. You peeked up at him as if checking to see if he had actually said something, and whatever you saw must’ve confirmed it.

“Really?” you turned a bit, leg bumping into his, “I’d love to! How about after you learn to recognize a word, you say it in your language?”

He agreed, and you turned back to the book, the happiest look on your face as you flipped to the first page.

Grillby couldn’t fight the smile off his own face. He’d never met someone that made his SOUL react like this before, and he’d begun to think that other monsters were being overdramatic when they talked about how they knew they wanted to bond with someone else

Now, he knew that their words couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Grillby. Wants Reader to know he likes her without saying. Yet, he forgets that he has the outward emotional projection of a potato. Like…the most emotion he outwardly showed was a couple of sighs, and just shifting his gaze. Like boi. You could’ve returned her touches??? Or something boi. Staring intently at someone doesn’t let them know you like them. Especially when you stare at people a lot because you don’t need to blink. 
> 
> Big dumb idiot.
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna chat


	8. Staying Out Of Trouble Doesn't Last Long

The house was cold when you woke up. Cold and empty. You reluctantly rolled onto your side and took in the vacant room with an equally vacant feeling. The Royal Entourage left two mornings ago to head back to the monster capital. You missed having Grillby here with you. The mattress had been stored back in the barn, and you had folded up the blankets, intent on having them washed and tucked away for the winter. Instead, last night you had deemed it too cold even though it was still summer and had draped it over your bed.

Now, you felt silly that you were chasing after his warmth. Not only that but the ambiance of his flames, the dancing light. You missed his quiet conversation, and the delightful sound he made when he laughed. Gods, you even missed reading after all the chores were done, teaching him your language. He was a quick learner, and he had taken your recipe book with him when he went...saying that it would help him to read your language and he could learn to cook better. A win-win he said, and Nindree wouldn’t complain that all he knew how to make was eggs anymore.

You threw an arm over your eyes and groaned.

Why did you feel so sad right now!?

Hell, this loneliness didn’t even compare to what you had felt before. It was stronger now, and ever-present. An empty void in your chest that weighed you down, pressing you into the bed.

So, you did what you always did. You threw yourself into an endless list of tasks that you had to do on the farm. Two weeks flew by with you hardly noticing as you focused on survival. Fall was coming soon so you would need to prepare for harvest and then get the farm prepared for winter. Hopefully, it was a warmer winter than last year. 

Honestly, you hadn’t even though about getting your stocks prepped for the winter either. You checked what you did have and you pressed your lips together in a thin line. Thankfully, you still had plenty of time to get things together but you were usually more on top of things than this. What had you been doing? Oh, right. Rescuing monsters and then getting flustered for a week straight by a fire elemental who’s laughs made butterflies in your stomach.You shook the image of his sharp smile from your mind and dusted off your hands.

This was just messing with your efficiency, that was the fourth time you found your thoughts wandering and your hands stopping. That was just today as well, not even for the past two weeks. It was becoming troublesome.

Fine!

If you wanted to think about the tall guardsman, you could at least do it while being productive! You gathered your foraging supplies; your hand-woven basket with shoulder straps, a stone knife, and a water skin. For a moment as you pushed open the wooden gate, you got the sense of déjà-vu. This time, however, no sounds of travelling carts stalled you as you left your homestead to venture out into the wilderness.

What if you hadn’t heard Gerson’s caravan as it rolled past last time? You probably wouldn’t have bumped into Asgore, nor would you have met Riagol. Your life would be so different.

You were glad you heard the caravan that day.

With a soft smile, you turned away from the road. You wanted to walk along the side of the river for a bit. See if you could conjure up an idea to set up traps to catch some fish next spring when they were swimming upstream to mate.

The calming sounds of the river flowing soothed the stresses of the past couple months away, and you found yourself not focusing on scanning the foliage for edible plants but instead you watched the water swirling past you. Maybe the next time Nindree and Grillby were over you could show them the waterfalls up ahead? Grillby wouldn’t appreciate it, but you knew Nindree would.

Speaking of the waterfalls, you could hear the loud cadence of the water gushing down multiple levels of the rocks, and before you knew it, you rounded a bend and saw them in all their glory. A smile stretched over your lips, and you carefully manoeuvred around the rocks close to the base of the waterfall and stuck your hand out. The water was ice cold, and you could feel the fine mist dusting your face. It was enchanting. It felt more magical in that moment than any of your spells. Pure and clean.

If you were honest with yourself, you lost track of how long you spent just...staring at the scene before you. Not even thinking really, just...watching. It was gentle and gorgeous.

Unfortunately, you did have to tear yourself away from it. The weight of your basket reminding you why you even left your homestead in the first place. Ordinarily, you would’ve scolded yourself for time wasted, but this time you just accepted it. Sometimes...sometimes you were allowed to relax. Heh...Grillby would be delightfully surprised if he heard you say _that_. You didn’t survive for twelve years, just for you always had to struggle to survive, after all. You had plenty of time to forage, harvest, and trade for the winter.

Still, you wouldn’t allow yourself to go back empty-handed.

You continued alongside the small rock face, stopping to peer inside a small cave. It might have once been used by an animal, but you could tell it was long since abandoned.

Nothing was exciting about it, or around it, so you continued on.

Usually, this time was right between the sweet spot for forgeable goods, but the good news? You still found plenty of plants to toss into your basket. This year’s weather had been a bit off than the average, so things were working in your favour. You suspected that you would be able to make extra foraging trips this year, which meant that you would have plenty of food over the winter! If you had enough, you’d take what you could to the monster village and give them the extra. With the extra monsters who you had rescued settling there, the least you could do was give them extra food. It would be hard for them to maintain their food stocks with new bodies.

You spotted some growing mushrooms, and you bent down to examine them.

A sharp scream cut through you like ice.

You went stock still, hands in the process of uprooting a mushroom.

What was that? An animal?

You barely had time to process the noise before more shouts and screams followed. Underneath the terror-filled sounds, you could hear something akin to laughter. What? Before you could really process what was going on, a stray arrow thudded against a tree nearby. That got your heart pounding as you pressed yourself flat against the tree the mushrooms were growing out of. What should you do? Run? Or would they notice you easier if you ran?

The little nagging voice in the back of your head crept forth again, urging you to check it out. What if someone was in trouble? If you could help...shouldn’t you? What if you ran away? What would the monsters think of you then? Especially if it was monsters in trouble?

Another heart-wrenching scream made the decision for you.

Your basket dropped to the ground, spilling the contents on the dirt ground, but you were long gone.

A stick whipped against your cheek as you flew towards the sounds of fighting, but you didn’t care. All you could think of was helping. If you got there and you were too late then it was too late, if you got there and no one really needed help then at least you tried.

It wasn’t hard to pinpoint where the sounds came from. The screaming didn’t stop. The closer you got, the louder it became. The more you could hear the sounds of a crackling fire. You hesitated, nearly tripping on your feet. Was...that wasn’t Grillby. Was it?

You burst through some bushes and skidded down a steep hill.

None of the fighters noticed you immediately.

You were glad you came.

About twenty monsters were fighting against ten bandits, but like anyone knew. A single human with the intent to kill was more powerful than even the strongest monster. It was unfair. Even more so when you noticed that only three monsters were fighting to protect the rest who were cowering with their backs to the rock face. Sure, they could scramble up it…but that meant being easy targets to the archers.

As your gaze slid over the monsters to check if you recognized any of them, they hesitated on a goat monster. For half a second, your brain shouted Asgore! Before it immediately realized that it most definitely was not him. Not even close.

However, you didn’t have long to focus on that you didn’t want to wait for the humans to notice you.

With your staff in hand, you conjured up a spell and sent the blast directly into the side of the closest archer. The man hit a tree with a sickening crunch.

That drew the attention of the bandits immediately, and you felt the sharp stab of fear as one of them turned towards the newest threat. A mage. You no longer had the upper hand in this fight. Not when you barely conjured a barrier to prevent an arrow piercing your chest.

The magical shield dissipated as a bandit charged at you, axe held confidently overhead. You didn’t think just allowed your body to react by pure instinct. If you thought about it that spelt disaster. Hoisting up your staff, you prepared to block the attack but before it could come three massive fireballs slammed into the man. He screamed in agony, axe dropping to the ground as his clothes caught on fire.

You slammed the end of your staff into his head, sending him sprawling to the soil.

There was no time to wonder why the fire wasn’t catching the deadfall, you were already on your way to the next target. You spared the humans no mercy for they wouldn’t have spared you any. Your magic pulsed out of you sending attack after attack to your newfound enemies. One by one, the humans fell to a combination of your magic and the monsters’.

The final human fell to a monsters well-placed attack. You watched the human's murky coloured SOUL linger for a while before bursting as another monster finished the job.

There was a tense moment just after the battle as those remaining scanned the forest, waiting for a second ambush to burst forth. When nothing came, you relaxed ever so slightly and there was a collective sigh of relief from the monsters.

Gulping down large quantities of air, you glanced around at the remaining monsters. Less than when you arrived, but more than there would’ve been if you had run away like a coward. It was scary to think that some of these faces might’ve not survived. You looked down at the corpses scattered around the ground, the piles of dust that the remaining monsters were collecting mournfully.

The goat monster that you had mistaken ever so briefly as Asgore walked over to you. Now that she was closer, you knew you would’ve never mistaken her for the Prince if you hadn’t been so focused on fighting. The only common feature the two shared was white fur and floppy ears. On a typical day, you could’ve imagined her being a part of nobility with the way she held herself. However, currently, her dress was torn and dirtied from running, her fur ruffled from the fight, and she looked worn and exhausted. How long had they been on the run for?

“Are you okay, young one?” she asked, her eyes wandering over your form. You nodded, you still weren’t used to using such vast amounts of magic in such little time. What happened to you wanting to practice more when you got better from your injuries last time? At least this time, you had been the one to catch them unaware, and there were others able to fight with you.

The goat lady placed a weighty paw on your back, and you felt a soothing feeling blossom from your SOUL outward. For just an instant. When she removed it, the feeling faded, but you did feel better than you did a moment before.

“Are you all okay?” you asked, feeling the dizzy spell pass as your magic supply had been regenerated a touch.

“Those who survived will recover,” she lamented, her gaze shifting over to the sobbing monsters.

You straightened up, turning away slightly to allow them to mourn with your gaze upon them.

“Were you headed to the monster village at the base of the mountain?” you asked her quietly. The monster's eyes fell onto you, the faintest look of suspicion gracing her features. You honestly wouldn’t blame her for thinking ill of your intentions, it was hard for monsters to gauge human intention. “It’s the closest village that I know of.” You glanced over your shoulder. Some of these monsters looked like they wouldn’t make the full journey to the village today. “My farm is closer, you can recuperate there before you make the trip to the village. If you need to, I can get my cart ready to take all of you to the village. It’ll be faster and less taxing on the injured.”

“That would be best, I think,” she agreed, looking at the other monsters. “I am pleased to know that some humans aren’t so...aggressive towards us.”

You introduced yourself, avoiding offering your hand just in case she didn’t know the gesture. As far as you were aware, there wasn’t a typical greeting between monsters such as a handshake. With some monsters not having hands, arms, legs, feet, or what have you, it was hard for them to have a common gesture between them.

“I am Toriel,” she introduced herself with a kind smile. She introduced the remaining monsters as they crowded closer to her, and then informed them of the new plan. You couldn’t see the same suspicion that Toriel had given you on the faces of the other monsters. That was good, at least. You could feel, on the other hand, a slight magical heaviness in the air surrounding the monsters.

You gave the monsters a strained smile and then gestured for them to follow you.

Honestly, if you were in their place you wouldn’t trust a strange human mage...but they did.

The entire way, you kept your staff in hand, using it more as a walking stick than anything else. Fatigue clung to your bones, and using the staff was better than going without. There was no chance you’d be taken off guard by any bandits. Speaking of, you began to formulate a plan to keep those with ill intent away from your farmstead. Maybe in your spell tome, there would be something that you could cast?

A few times, you stopped to assist the monsters up a steep incline, or to allow the monsters to gather more energy for the rest of the hike. It might’ve felt like backtracking to some of them, and to others, you knew they were helplessly lost within the woods. Toriel seemed to be semi-aware of how to traverse the mountainous forests, but there were times when she seemed lost as well.

You did you best to give them small pointers about where to place their feet (if they had any) or how to use your hands to scramble up inclines that might’ve looked impossible to get up.

Soon, you hopped over the stone fence of your home and assisted the others over.

“You’ll be safe within the stone fence. I will take you to the village tomorrow morning,” you explained to the monsters examining the farm curiously. “You can make yourselves comfortable in the barn. I’ll grab some blankets for everyone,” you offered, gesturing towards the large building. Once they started for it, you ran inside your home and procured all your blankets. There wasn’t many, and you gave up your bed sheets as well. They would need them more than you.

Before you left, you shoved some extra loaves of bread into a basket and some of the other items that you and Grillby had cooked together. Magical food never went bad, and you always kept some around for when your friends would visit you.

That was still strange to think of. Your friends.

You shook the thought off and hurried back out to the others.

When you got to the barn, Toriel was in the process of healing a rather sickly looking Vulkin, her brows light furrowed together as she concentrated on pouring green magic into the monster. You handed out the blankets and food, there was no question about whether or not they could eat it. They had all seen you fight, there’d be no reason to doubt that the food had some magical qualities to it.

A small monster in a striped sweater offered to help you hand out the food, and you thanked them with as warm of a smile as you could muster. You mind drifted briefly to Sans in his own tiny striped blue tunic before you returned to the task at hand.

You handed Toriel the last blanket as she straightened, looking absolutely worn out. “Thank you for your hospitality, we all appreciate it.”

“If any of you need more food, let me know. I’ll grab some water for those who need it,” you gestured vaguely towards where the well was. Toriel nodded thoughtfully, her gaze swept over the monsters in the room.

“I will collect the water for them, I do not wish to burden you with our presence any further...except perhaps if you have an outside stone oven?” she asked, sounding a touch hopeful. You shook your head.

“Just the one inside, are you wanting to bake something?” you asked.

“There’s a pie that a friend of my mother used to make, it has amazing healing qualities...but I just realized that our supplies were destroyed from the bandit attack, so I do not even have the ingredients to make it,” she sighed, placing her hands on her hips and glancing at the ground with regret before smiling gently at you. “We will make do with what we have.”

You glanced around the room once more, quickly counting the remaining monsters. “I’m going back to the ambush site with some wood ash in case any other bandits decide to try to avenge their brethren. It’ll make it look like you all died...and I’ll cover the tracks we made on the way here as well. You all get comfortable and look after each other.”

Toriel’s eyes darted down to you in surprise, “Oh no! That’s too dangerous for you to do alone. I shall accompany you, young one.”

“Your people need you, you seem to be the most adept healer here,” you told her, gently refusing her assistance. She was a stronger fighter, but you honestly thought she’d slow you down. Plus, you wanted to swing back to pick up your basket and tool that you left behind in your haste to help them. If you didn’t, you’d forget where you left it, and you really didn’t want to have to make a new basket, let alone a new stone knife.

Once you had convinced Toriel to let you go alone, you darted off into the forest before any other monster could stop you to offer their assistance. There were quite a few who seemed to be about to volunteer after overhearing your conversation with the goat lady.

It took you half the time to get back to the spot. The wood ashes you brought was poured into approximately twenty-odd piles around the clearing randomly, so it really looked like the monsters were killed. You took some deadfall and covered the freshly dug graves to prevent anyone from immediately noticing them. Humans would investigate the murder of other humans but wouldn’t give a fuck about twenty dead monsters.

Speaking of the dead humans, you buried them and whispered a small prayer to the Gods, hoping that they at least worshipped one of them, above their graves. It was the best they would ever get, bandits weren’t known for bothering to send off their dead properly. They didn’t deserve it, but you did it anyway. They were someone’s family or friend, and if you died...you knew you’d want a proper send-off not to be left in the woods to rot.

The next morning, you didn’t waste time allowing yourself to rest in your bed. There were monsters you needed to get to the village for further healing. Toriel was only able to do so much yesterday before her own magic reserves were running low.

As you yanked on your jacket and left the house, you saw some of the monsters loading the more injured individuals onto the cart already. Toriel was murmuring to a sobbing bird monster, her arms wrapped around the monster in comfort. You made eye contact with her, and she gently shook her head. You let her support the grieving and quickly attended to your animals.

There was a dense atmosphere around your farmstead that had you had never felt before. The utter mourning and hopelessness that you would have never associated with the wonderful creatures that monsters were until now. Grief was something that any culture, species, or being will experience at least once in their lifetime...but hopelessness? Monsters SOULs were supposed to be made of hope...what would happen if they became hopeless?

Toriel straightened from her embrace and helped the monster to the cart. “We will all be safe once we get to the village, and with the human escorting us, we shall make it there in no time! Right?” she asked, looking over at you.

“Yeah, it’s only about a two-hour ride,” you said, trying to get as much positivity into your voice. “We can leave whenever you all wish.”

You didn’t let the smile on your face fade as you notice that there were even fewer monsters now than there were when you went to bed. Dusted overnight. You wanted to ask Toriel what happened...but you didn’t feel like you could.

Guilt clung about your SOUL, digging it’s filthy claws in so hard that you actually felt pain in your chest from it. If you had only stayed up last night. Made more food. Healed more monsters. Anything besides sleep while these monsters suffered.

Toriel’s eyes locked onto yours and something unspoken past between the two of you. An understanding.

“We are ready,” she informed you, and you forced a smile onto your face, which became genuine as you met the eyes of the other monsters. Hope was returning to them, and you were glad.

That hope only grew the closer the cart got to the village, there was still sadness, but you could tell they were looking to the future now. The only time the mood dropped again was when you passed by the destroyed smouldering remnants of their supply carts. There was nothing left of their belongings besides what they carried on their backs.

Thankfully, you were taking them to monsters and not humans who would’ve sooner ignored their presence than given them shelter and food.

You slowed the cart in its usual spot inside the village, and you waved at the familiar faces. Instantly the were all chattering loudly and hurrying to assist the monsters from your cart. You caught pieces of the various conversations. Praise, amazement, happiness.

“She did it again!”

“She’s a hero!”

“I bet her SOUL is Bravery!”

“No! Kindness!”

“Determination!”

“WAHAHA! When I told you to make friends, I didn’t mean this many!” Gerson’s boisterous voice cackled, and you whipped around to see the old tortoise shambling over a smirk on his face. You leapt from the cart, knowing that the monsters were safe and in better hands than your own.

“Gerson!” you said happily, “How’re you!”

“PAH! Who cares!? Come, come! I want to know more about Lionheart! Your reputation as a hero to the monsters has spread far, girlie,” he smirked before he turned and started waddling back to his cart.

“What?” you blurted out. Lionheart? Reputation? You only helped the other monsters out less than a month ago, how had anything about you spread in so little time? You hurried up after him. “What? How?”

“When you save the Royal Advisor’s wife and son from the clutches of evil, you make yourself known, kiddo! Wahahaha. Who’da thought that the hermit would become a hero to Monsterkind? I didn’t. Thought you’d just open up a bit more when I suggested you make friends, rather than be a cranky old spinster,” he said waving his hand and then started up the stairs to the back of his caravan. “Turns out you became a vigilante. Huh, Lionheart?”

“I’m not a Lionheart! Don’t call me that,” you argued, “I just...I couldn’t not do anything!”

He grinned down at you, “Bet ol’Riagol and the royal court will hear real quick about you saving more monsters too, Lionheart.”

You glared back at him, but it held no heat to it. You weren’t mad, you couldn’t be. It hurt your heart that the monsters saw you, a random human, helping two groups as such an impressive achievement when it shouldn’t be. Humans needed to do better, they needed to _be_ better. You could only do what you could to counteract the awful actions of the rest of your species, but you deserved no reward. No thanks. It was the least you could do.

“Come! Tell me all about it over tea!” Gerson disappeared into the back of the caravan, and you smiled wrily at him before climbing in after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD! This chapter was like pulling teeth for me. Normally I write a chapter one day, and edit it the next, but for some reason this one was just like ‘let’s take 5 days to write because you got a very solid idea for this chapter but you just can’t write transitions from one scene to the next’.
> 
> I think it’s because of the fighting scene.
> 
> BUT! It’s done! Now I can focus on future chapters.
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna chat


	9. Girl Talk

Toriel was great.

In the past few months since you had stumbled across her and the other monsters in the forest, she had become integral to the monster village. Not only was she a great healer, but a fantastic leader as well. There was an overwhelming sense of HOPE in the village every time you visited, which you were doing more often. After all, you wanted to check up on the monsters you rescued and to make sure that the village had enough food since they had an influx of bodies to look after.

“You didn’t have to bring us this,” Toriel informed you for the nth time, watching as monsters came to pick up the excess food that you had amassed since meeting Toriel. You had collected triple what you usually did, and injected a bit of excess magic into your harvest, so your vegetables and fruits grew larger and stronger than ever before. Something you never bothered to do before since it was just you...but this way they could eat the food as well, and your harvest was more plentiful than ever.

“I didn’t,” you agreed, pausing to chat with a small moldsmol...er well, wiggle your fingers at the moldsmol as it wriggled back at you. It’s friend picked up a crate of a variety of canned and dried foods that would help them through the winter. There wasn’t much fresh as you knew it would spoil quickly. You looked back up at Toriel, “but I had extra this year. Might as well not let it go to waste. Besides, this will most likely be my last trip up here until next spring.”

She sighed softly, giving you a look that screamed ‘I don’t fully buy what you’re telling me, but I won’t argue anymore.’ “It is immensely appreciated. A few monsters were beginning to worry about not being able to support themselves through the winter. It is not typically difficult to get supplies here...but this close to winter it is becoming harder.”

You nodded in agreement. There were plenty of paths to the village, many of them didn’t even go close to human settlements. However, once winter came, those same paths became clogged with snow and made the journey hard and dangerous. It was easy to become stuck in the snow or have the cart slip off the side of the mountainous regions

You heard your name called out in a booming voice, and a jolt of surprise ran through you as you turned.

Asgore was beaming at you as the entire royal entourage poured into the village. They all looked exhausted but happy to finally be done with their journey. Asgore swung from his horse and immediately made a bee-line towards you, “What a surprise! It is not often you’re at the village when we arrive!”

“Welcome back!” you called, turning away from the small horde of supplies you had. Asgore was in his full armour set for travelling, and he looked impressive with the gold and purple. However, when his eyes flickered over to the monster beside you, he tripped over his own cloak, and the illusion was shattered. You stifled a laugh, but his father did not, a great booming sound.

“Be careful, my son,” Riagol tutted getting down from his own horse. He nodded towards you with a polite smile, before turning to address his entourage.

“I-uh...of-...yes, I will...Father...” Asgore stuttered out, eyes not leaving Toriel’s. Then suddenly they dropped to the ground, and you _swore_ Asgore was blushing madly beneath his fur. He approached more cautiously, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

You smiled, clasping your hands behind your back, watching Toriel place a hand over her mouth to hide a shy smile. The two wholly ignored your presence as Asgore approached, standing before Toriel. Asgore was an impressive, dashing monster who typically was much more gentlemanly and well-thought. The two of them could barely form a coherent sentence and kept dissolving into shy giggles. They were like lovestruck teenagers.

You cleared your throat, and they both blinked in surprise as if just remembering you were still there. “Toriel, may I introduce you to Prince Asgore of the Monster Kingdom? Prince Asgore, this is Toriel.”

“I-I do not- we have not met before?” he asked, stumbling through his words before wincing slightly at his lack of finesse. Toriel giggled softly, her eyes flickering downwards shyly.

“I do not believe so,” she answered a lot more eloquently. A paw gestured gently towards you, “We were saved from bandits in the wood by this human, I have only been in this part of the kingdom for a few months.”

“I heard about that,” Asgore said, his gaze dropping to the floor, then flicked back up to her. “I take it you are the lovely monster who took to healing and caring for the wounded monsters who enter the village?”

“I am,” she smiled.

Asgore offered his arm to her, “If you would indulge me? I would like to hear more about it, Lady Toriel,” he said, his eloquence returning to him full force now that he knew her name. Toriel smiled and took his arm, saying that she’d be delighted to. You watched them go, grinning so hard it hurt your cheeks. They were so freaking cute.

“HEY!” Nindree’s voice cut through the clamour of conversation. Your head whipped over to see her grinning at you with an evil glint in her eye. Grillby removed his helmet from beside her and then made a small gesture with his hand as if to say ‘run.’ You didn’t know what you had done to incur Nindree’s ‘wrath,’ but you turned and leapt over the crates you’d brought and took off. Nindree roared in delight.

It was a long and gruelling chase. The two of you neck and neck for hours. You craftily avoided her.

In more truthful words, Nindree had quickly caught up to you due to her much longer legs and impressive stamina and had scooped you over her head with an excited ‘KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’ to the amusement of the surrounding monsters. King Riagol simply shook his head with an amused smile before heading to do his routine rounds of the village with a few of the Guard, leaving you behind with Nindree and Grillby.

The fish monster flipped you into the air, making your stomach flip in surprise before she caught you and dropped you expertly on your feet. You swayed until Grillby placed a hand upon your shoulder to steady you. It had been a _long_ time since anyone had hoisted you up like a sack of potatoes before.

“SO!” Nindree grinned, bending down to look you dead in the eye. “You thought I was with Grillbz??”

You paled instantly and turned slowly towards Grillby, who simply looked down at you as if it was all fine. As if he didn’t do the one thing you asked him _not_ to do. She was _never_ going to let that go. There were implications about why you concluded that she was dating him and brought it up. Nindree was the type of person who took 2 and 2 and got 8. “I trusted you,” you whispered in horror.

“I didn’t promise not to tell her,” Grillby pointed out, then his mouth split open in a wide grin bumping your shoulder lightly with his elbow. You gaped slightly at him, that wasn’t like him, but you ultimately ignored the fact that he had touched you so casually.

“I...I- no, didn’t you?” you sputtered out, thinking hard about that day. However, all you remember was him clarifying his feelings towards his good friend and then trying to say something...and you changed the subject because you were getting uncomfortable with the relief you had gotten from him saying that. You deflated slightly, hoping it hid your blush, “Damnit.”

“NOW!” Nindree grabbed you back into her arms and effortlessly shifted you, so she held you under one arm. “We get ta have girl talk! GRILLBY! Go find something to do!” she shooed him away with her webbed fingers. Grillby looked at her blankly for a moment. Then she twitched her fingers again, “COME ON! Before I start making fire puns or something!”

Grillby sighed in annoyance, before glancing down at you. “You’re invited to the banquet tonight, but the King would like to extend an invitation to sit at the head table...Lionheart,” he said the name with an almost fond tone. You go dead weight in Nindree’s arms, hiding your blush.

“That’s not my name...I don’t have a choice, do I?” you asked, and you felt and heard Nindree laugh.

“NOPE! But before that! Girl talk!” she didn’t waste any time turning around and striding away.

It was strange when she didn’t immediately start talking when you noticed Grillby turn away to find something to preoccupy his time. Instead, she kept walking, and soon the two of you came upon the river, and she walked along it. Still carrying you. No doubt because she was walking faster than usual, her long strides would’ve been two of yours.

Was she going to grill you about the conversation you had with Grillby? About the SOULmates? You remember that you had heard his description and the first thing that popped into your mind was Nindree and Grillby...and the first feeling in your SOUL was not a good one. Of course, you had shoved the feeling aside because if they had been bonded, you would’ve totally supported them...even if it did make you feel...bad to think of. Which was weird? Why would you feel upset about two of your best friends being in love?

Oh gods, you really didn’t want her thinking that you had a crush on Grillby. You weren’t a little teenager! Hell, you didn’t ever react to Grillby like Toriel reacted to seeing Asgore! That just _proved_ that you didn’t have a crush on him. You were nearly thirty!

You didn’t like him like that.

Not at all.

Even if you felt disappointed that Nindree was yanking you away before you could have a proper conversation with him.

Nindree set you down gently, and you noticed that you were on the outskirts of town. There was little chance of anyone stumbling over your conversation here.

She inhaled softly, and then her eyes snap down to your chest. “It’s cracked. Why.”

“What?” you blurted out, looking down suddenly in confusion, “What’s cracked?”

With a small gesture, the colours of the world snapped out of existence with a tugging feeling at the center of your chest. A vibrant purple heart drifted forth, the only colour as far as you could see. The heart softly floated over Nindree’s palm, and she stared down at it was a deep sadness in her eyes. You felt sincere sympathy flooding your SOUL, as if a hand was caressing it by Nindree’s hand was not close enough to touch it.

The surface of the heart was smooth…all except the crack that started from the top lobe towards the center.

You reached out without thinking and stroked the crack.

It felt like someone punched you in the gut as you collapsed to your knees, gasping. Guilt washed over you. Images of each monster you failed to save flashed before your eyes. Starting with the most recent and spanning over the decade that you were training with your father. Images of their bodies turning to dust crept up, and you felt your throat go dry.

Dust covering your hands.

Slowly crumbling. Slipping away in the wind.

Bile in the back of your throat.

You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders, and then your SOUL was embraced in a soothing feeling.

You blinked through your tears to see Nindree holding you tightly to her chest. The other hand was gently cupping your SOUL, but she wasn’t applying any magic to it. She pulled you closer in the embrace, and then returned your SOUL back to your chest. The colours of the world came back in an instant, and you instantly clutched at your chest.

“You’re not to be blamed for the monsters you couldn’t save. You saved who you could, and that’s more than anyone ever asked. You’re a hero to us because you save those who wouldn’t have survived,” Nindree said, her voice softer than ever. It was soothing and comforting. Nindree gently stroked your back and gave you a warm smile. “You’re our Human and all the monsters? We call you Lionheart for a _reason._ Even if your SOUL trait is Perseverance…you’re brave and determined to help us. You’d never hurt a monster. _”_

The guilt hadn’t faded…it felt like it was growing.

It was too fresh.

You felt your sins crawling on your back.

The tears returned, hot and stinging. You buried your face into your hands and shifted away from her. The words came forth before you could stop them. Your mind not even processing how the Captain of the Royal Guard would take it…even if she was your best friend. That didn’t change her duty.

You told her who you were.

You told her who your father was.

You told her who you would have become.

The very person that would’ve slaughtered hundreds of monsters without feeling sympathy.

You admitted all the monsters you watched die…and that you did nothing to save them.

You told her that you saved monsters because of your guilt.

You were the real monster.

You were doing it because you were guilty.

You were no better than your father.

Nindree’s arms fell from you, and she stood up sharply. Terror rolled through you, but you stayed where you were. If she was going to kill you…you deserved it. When you looked up to face the Judge, your stomach dropped. The familiarity was gone in her eyes, and her mouth was set in a hard line.

“Twelve years ago? Yeah…sure, you were. If you had told me who you were when I first met you? Your corpse would be rotting at your farm,” she told you, voice cold, but then she held her hand out towards you. “That’s not who you are anymore. Lionheart. You’re a better living being than your father could ever dream of being.”

You stared at her hand, disbelieving. “I…didn’t do anything back then…how am I better than him?”

Nindree sighed out slowly, “How old were you twelve years ago?”

“…16…” you murmured, looking down. Old enough to know better. An adult in the eyes of humanity.

Nindree was quiet, and then her hand grabbed your arm and hoisted you to your feet. “If I am doing my math right…that would put you in the monster equivalent of an adolescent. You’d still have your stripes,” she poked you gently in the chest above where your SOUL came out, “A child shouldn’t have had to witness so much death. I have witnessed enough deaths over my lifetime that it isn’t shocking to me anymore. I couldn’t imagine what effects it would still have on a developing mind. I cannot fault you for what you did as a child.”

Your lips pressed together and stared down at her finger, still poked into your chest. She gently removed it by flicking it up against your nose. “Hey. You are not your father. You are our Lionheart now. Don’t feel guilty for those you couldn’t save, feel pride that you saved who you could. Be the person you want to be and stop looking back. The future is always much brighter.”

Tears started blurring your vision again, and she drew you in for another hug. After a moment, she released you but kept her hands on your shoulder. “I will need to tell King Riagol what you told me. I…will wait until tomorrow, after the banquet. There’s no need to have the old man thinking so hard during a celebration.” She joked, but your chest still felt tight. “HEY!” she clapped you on the shoulders with both hands, “He’s going to take it decently. You wouldn’t have killed a mage if you were a spy…and you’d probably be trying to…yknow, learn our secrets instead of trying to help us out? Or…y’know, hardcore crushing on Grillby…but I dunno??? IS that a human tactic? Eh…doesn’t matter! I KNOW you aren’t a spy, and the others’ll believe me. They GOTTA!”

You sputtered, and she hoisted her cloak up and started roughly rubbing at your face.

“Gotta get you cleaned up! Can’t have you returning to Grillbz looking like that! He’s worse than a mother HEN!! All worried and shit!” she chattered away, wiping at your tear-stained face. Completely continuing on as if she hadn’t just yanked out _all_ of the feelings you had been so desperately keeping under wraps and threw them onto the floor. It was a completely 180 turn, and it made you almost dizzy. How were you supposed to react to this? She was leading you over to the river, telling you to wash your face, and you wanted to know why she threw in the ‘hardcore crushing on Grillby’ part but it didn’t matter.

You had told her something so much more critical and you were becoming increasingly worried about what Riagol would say.

What he would do.

“Trust me, Lionheart, the King, isn’t going to do anything to you. Not when you can be much more of a help to us with you on our side,” Nindree insisted as you splashed your face with the cold river water. “SO! RELAX! This is going to be one hell of a banquet with you up at the head table! If we beat Grillby maybe I can sit beside you!”

“Nindree…” you started but found yourself trailing off. “How?”

Her grin grew a bit tight, and then she sighed and bent down beside you. “How what?”

“Monsters can’t see SOULs outside the body…right? How did you?” you asked, turning to face her, taking her cloak and drying your face. She watched you for a moment and then glanced behind you, a calculating look on her face.

“A monster is chosen to be the Judge, I don’t know how or why…but they’re able to see SOULs and check them without entering an encounter. I can see STATs without trying,” Nindree explained, her voice quiet. “In other words? If you were to betray us, I’d know. If you were to try to trick us, I would be able to read your SOUL. Y’know what your SOUL says right now?”

You shook your head.

“’*She is overwhelmed by her emotions, but she’s glad she has someone she can finally trust to know,’” she clapped a hand on your shoulder, “You’re my friend, got it? Grillby’s too! You can tell me or him or both of us shit when you’re feeling like crap. I might talk A LOT! But! I’m a great listener too! How else would I have gotten Grillbz to be my friend? Didn’t hear the guy talk outside his language for FIVE years. Let me tell you how surprised he was when I started responding to him when he spoke, thinking I couldn’t understand him.”

She pulled a face, and you couldn’t stop the snort that burst out of you. That made her grin wider and then hoisted you up to your feet. “NOW! Enough of this SAPPY CRAP! Let’s get drunk and exasperate Grillby!” Before you could actually respond, she was dragging you back towards the center of the village.

Grillby was murmuring to one of the guards when the two of you returned, and for a moment you couldn’t meet his eyes. Nindree didn’t keep secrets from Grillby, how long would it take for her to tell _him_ who you were? Would he be as okay with it as she was? His own parents were killed by monsters…how would he view you if he knew that you had watched countless monsters dust in front of you as your father experimented on different torture methods?

“…fun talk?” Grillby asked, and you looked up at him, his arms were crossed, and he was looking at Nindree who was smirking like the cat that ate the canary.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Nindree teased, jabbing him in the chest hard enough that he almost stumbled. “It’s called GIRL talk for a reason, Grillby!”

“We talked about Nindree’s secret undying love for you,” you stage whispered to Grillby, who…snorted? You looked up at him in surprise, you’d gotten him to chuckle and laugh before, but that was a new sound. It…was…delightful! The grin that spread over your face couldn’t have been stopped.

“I must decline your feelings, Nindree,” Grillby said, utterly devoid of emotion.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” Nindree asked, her voice full of emotion a stark contrast to his as she placed the back of her hand to her forehead, “My SOUL is shattered. If you do not return my feelings…I’ll dust!”

You grinned at her antics. Grillby simply shrugged lightly, “Then dust.”

Nindree staggered back a step, hand clutching her chest in shock. Then she barked out a laugh and grabbed Grillby around the neck with one arm. “YOU! ARE! THE! WORST!” she crowed as she noogied the fire elemental who accepted the punishment without complaint. “Telling me to dust!”

You were about to interject when someone cleared their throat. The two looked over to see who was interrupting their antics before Nindree released Grillby. King Riagol, Prince Asgore, and Toriel were standing a few feet away watching the three of you with thinly veiled amusement. Both Grillby and Nindree immediately stood at attention.

Riagol shook his head with a small smile before his attention turned to you. A tiny tendril of guilt wrapped itself around you, but then you remembered Nindree’s words. He wouldn’t be upset with you…you were _different_. You weren’t your father.

“I assume one of these two informed you of my invitation?” Riagol asked, unable to keep the amusement from his tone. “Or have they been like this since our arrival?”

“Both,” you admitted earning a chuckle from the King. It was so strange not needing to tack on a bunch of empty praises when speaking to Riagol, but you had broken your habit of doing so after a few conversations. He got so awkward when you did accidentally call him ‘your royal highness’ or ‘your excellence.’

“Ah good,” Riagol said with a warm smile, “Would you do this old monster the honour of allowing me to escort you to the banquet?”

You accepted, taking his arm – even if it was awkward with him nearly twice your height, as he led you into the banquet hall. The others trailing behind you.

It was so strange sitting at the head table at a banquet again. Especially considering that here plenty of monsters came up to the head table to chat and exchange pleasantries that they hadn’t been able to do during the day. It was a rare event for that to happen during human banquets, but here it seemed as normal as it was to approach the King on the street.

Of course, there was zero chance any of these monsters had ill-intent towards the King, and if they did one of the various monsters sitting near the King would’ve been able to sense it long before they got near him.

Besides that, the banquet was just like any other you had attended…but with the added bonus of you being able to tease Toriel about her crush on Asgore, and chattering away with Grillby and Nindree. The only difference than the other monster banquets? Nindree had more wine than was probably wise.

“I do not think you are suited to take her to her farmstead,” Riagol sighed, rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. Nindree blew a raspberry at the King, which made your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Grillby was simply watching the exchange calmly.

“I AM! Excellent!” she said, her speech only a little slurred.

You and Grillby watched near his horse as Nindree tried to convince the king for the twentieth time to let her go with the two of you. Riagol had told her that she was able to go with you but _only_ if she was able to walk in a straight line…which she was not. By a long shot. Now she was just arguing with the King, swaying slightly.

“Nindree,” you called out, “Touch your left pointer finger to your nose.”

“PAH! That’s EASY!” she shouted back at you, and raised her left hand and touched between the two nose slits. Then she froze. No swaying. Nothing. You glanced up at Grillby in confusion…until Nindree started to panic. “WHERE IS MY NOSE?” she shouted.

Oh…oh no.

Grillby sighed heavily and gave you The Look. Before he strode over, “Nindree, you don’t have a human nose.”

“What ARE you talking ABOUT!!” she demanded, “That’s BULLSHIT! I TOTALLY have-had one!”

It took about twenty minutes to calm her down after that, and you and Grillby allowed her to touch where your ‘noses’ were. She was much calmer once she realized that Grillby also didn’t have a nose, and then started to complain that her hand was dry because she touched Grillby.

Toriel ended up guiding Nindree away with the promise of some desert, and you deflated.

“That…was a disaster. No more than two goblets of wine for her again,” Riagol sighed his voice a mixture of exasperated and amused. “Get home safe.”

Grillby mounted his horse smoothly as you boarded your now empty cart.

“Troublemaker,” he teased you as you started turning it around to face the road.

You flashed a grin over to him, “At least you’re never bored around me.”

He laughed, “Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna chat


	10. Burning Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced Animal Harm
> 
> Skip from when Grillby says “Fire” to when someone says “So, my boys were right.”

Grillby was silent for a majority of the trip. It wasn’t an unusual thing, and you were more focused on making sure your cow was avoiding the really bad divets on the road to really care about a conversation or lack thereof. What you didn’t need was for a particularly bad bump to knock a wheel loose. Eventually, however, the silence was broken as Grillby guided his horse closer to the cart.

“So...Lionheart,” he said in a quiet voice, keeping his eyes on the road. You much preferred your name, too many years being referred to as your title rubbed you the wrong way. You had a feeling that unless you really threw a fit the monsters weren’t going stop calling you that. It was just a nickname, and if they wanted to call you it...whatever. Besides, if the monsters in the capital had heard of ‘The Lionheart’ you had a feeling it would take a lot to nip it in the bud.

As for Grillby? You...honestly couldn’t tell what he was feeling, he was wearing his helmet which obscured basically all his flames beside the glow through the visor. After your lack of response, he turned his head towards you. “You sure know how to find trouble,” that sounded as if he was teasing you, and you huffed out a laugh. Amusement was much easier for you t deal with rather than judgement or upset. “I spoke with some of the monsters you rescued, and from how they tell it you came flying out of the forest like a guardian angel.”

You snorted at the description, “the only flying that happened was when I blasted a guy off his feet and into a tree. I just...took some of the heat off of them, they did the majority of the fighting themselves.”

Grillby stared at you for a second longer before returning his gaze to the road. “You deny your worth a lot. Three monsters against even one human won’t stand a chance. Toriel is a Boss Monster, but even she couldn’t have defended against as many humans for long if you didn’t show up.”

Your forehead furrowed and you took a moment to adjust your grip on the reins, but you didn’t find a response to that. After all, how could you? You knew if you responded the way you wanted to his point would be proven.

A stretch of silence, before you finally sighed.“I..guess?” you murmured, “but I didn’t do it on my own.”

“Never said you did,” Grillby said gently, looking over at you for a moment before returning to the road.

The two of you lapsed into silence once again. For a while, you could feel his gaze returning to examine you but he didn’t speak up again. You weren’t sure what he was looking for, or why he kept looking at you, but until he told you, your focus as entirely on the road.

Well...that was until your mind started to lead itself towards what you had talked about with Nindree. Should you tell him about your time at the Citadel? Tell him why you couldn’t feel like you were doing enough for monster kind? Tell him everything that your father did? Maybe that was too much, maybe just tell him that your father was in charge of all the Mages? You felt like you had to admit to Nindree all of your sins, but could that have been just...magic? You knew magic could do a lot, but could monsters tap into that mind-control aspect of magic? It was hard enough for humans.

You should tell him...but you were scared. On the one hand, he had never really asked about your past so then why would you just bring it up? The perfect way to shift the blame away from you, like a coward. On the other? Keeping this from him for too long, especially after you told Nindree, could – no, _would_ cause issues further down the road. How could you expect him to _truly_ trust you like you trusted him if you weren’t forthcoming with him?

Gods, did you trust him.

Even if he hated your guts...you knew it was better to tell him before he found out elsewhere.

You’d tell him when you got to the farm, that way the two of you could sit down and talk face-to-face. Hopefully, this time you wouldn’t cry as much...but that could’ve been because your SOUL was out. You’d have to ask Nindree why it felt so much...more than when your SOUL was safely tucked away. The pure vulnerability of your SOUL?

You turned the cart down the overgrown path, casting a spell to allow your cart and cow to move through the deadfall and growth without hindrance.

There...was something wrong.

Jerking the reins, you threw up a hand towards Grillby who stopped his horse immediately.

Your...ducks were silent, and they were always loud when they heard your cart returning from a day’s trip. That meant they were going to get their nightly scraps. You didn’t hear the sheep calling out either in response to the ducks. Shit, did a cougar or wolves get to them? There was a noise but you weren’t able to fully catch it, just a faint something to the ambient noise.

“Fire,” Grillby crackled, swinging off his horse immediately. You slid off your cart, summoning your staff and took off towards your home.

Your blood ran cold at the sight.

Everything was...destroyed. Your home and barn were nothing more than a wild blaze. The duck pen was shattered and your heart fell when you saw why they were silent. They were dead. Killed. When you butchered them for meat, they were old, you treated them with respect, and made sure it was quick. Whoever did this was cruel...and you felt your anger building.

Your gaze slowly took in the sight of the thrashed gardens and various items from your home strewn out on the dirt torn and shredded. Your entire life. Upended.

Twelve years of hard work...gone in less than a day.

What if you hadn’t left that morning? What if King Riagol had postponed their trip by one day and you got back early? Would you have been able to save everything you had made...or would you have been burned alive in your own home? Rotting on the ground with your ducks and sheep for Grillby, Nindree, or Gerson to find?

Grillby’s hand touched your shoulder, gently squeezing. Tears came to your eyes but you forced them back immediately. Neither you or Grillby were safe right now, and you were _not_ letting your guard down.

Who did this?

“So, my boys were right,” a voice called out to your over the sound of the raging fires. Your head swivelled around to see a man emerging from the forest. Dirty, poorly dressed, with a tarnished looking blade. A bandit. Your gaze immediately picked up others creeping out from behind him, but you kept your gaze on the leader. “A monster fucker does live here. Were ya the bitch who killed my men?”

“Normally bandits aren’t smart enough to notice when another dies,” you snarl back, hand tightening on the staff.

“Oho! A staff! She’s a Mage to boot, men!” he crooned, “bet the bastards back at the capital would love to see her head delivered. Might get a pretty penny.”

They weren’t getting out of here alive.

The man’s SOUL jerked roughly from his chest and his eyes went wide. Grillby drew a flaming sword from beneath his cape in the same breath. You saw the terror in the man’s face as Grillby’s free hand shot towards the barn, and the fire funnelled towards him. The fire swirled around you harmlessly as it fed into your friend's flames.

The other bandits didn’t seem to be too keen on the fact that a monster was attacking their leader, and a few rushed forwards.

All the sadness, fear, and pure rage swelled in your SOUL.

_“Magic feeds off intent, want something dead enough and it will crumble.”_

The words just added to your anger as you coalesced your magic. Your father was a piece of shit, but he was right about a few things. The more you wanted something dead...the easier to was to kill. However, that went both ways, if they wanted you dead enough, all it took was one well-placed shot.

You had _no_ qualms about skewering one of the bandits with the sharp end of your staff, nor about sending another flying straight into the inferno that was Grillby’s attacks. However, the bandits also had no qualms about playing dirty. The bandits attempted to use Grillby’s fire against you, pushing you back towards the swirling flames...but they merely danced away from you.

He didn’t want you harmed, so the flames didn’t do anything to you.

Now the men who tried to have you harmed by him? His flames ate them alive.

Maybe later you’d be consumed by the sound of men screaming or the scent of burning flesh...but right now you were **livid**.

As you blasted another man with pure magical energy, you noticed two bandits running at Grillby with buckets of water. You barely opened your mouth before Grillby twisted around and swung his sword just as you threw up a magical barrier. The blade cleanly sliced through the men’s necks without a hint of hesitation, their SOULs not even needed to be drawn from their bodies. As the water buckets dropped, the water bounced harmlessly off your shield.

His gaze met yours and he nodded.

You’d wonder how he seemed to know what you were about to say later.

Right now, you had to make sure the remaining humans were dealt with.

Before you could do anything, pain bloomed in your shoulder and it felt like someone punched you. Hard. Your breath left in a sharp whooshed as you staggered back.

Grillby’s head swung back towards you before his flames went blue. A bandit swung his sword at Grillby...but the overwhelming heat melted the sword before it even connected with his skin. You saw the man pale and stagger back, but Grillby grabbed his shoulder. The stench of sharp burning flesh filled your nose as you watched with horrified curiosity as Grillby’s hand _sunk_ into the man’s flesh before he sunk his blade into the man’s stomach.

You tore your gaze away and saw the remaining archer staring at his friend in horror.

You slammed your staff into the ground, and the ground split open, swallowing him whole.

When you lifted the staff, the ground closed with a sickening crunch.

Your legs gave out beneath you as your vision swam due to the overuse of your magic.

The silence that filled your ears was worse than anything you had ever heard. Grillby had absorbed the fires that had burnt your live down to nothing but ashes. You slowly looked over the destruction and bodies, feeling an emptiness replace the anger and sorrow.

An arrow was sticking from your shoulder...you hadn’t even realized that was what caused the pain early. It made sense. It ached, but it was dulled. You stared at it blankly before returning your gaze to the ashes.

A beat went by before you noticed Grillby’s feet beside you, and it seemed as if he moved in slow motion as he dropped to his knees beside you. Slowly, you lifted your head. You saw his mouth moving but his voice was muffled in your ears.

Grillby’s hands touching your shoulder was what jarred you into focus. He said your name again and you blinked, eyes truly focusing on him now.

“What?” you barely noticed that the word came out slower than it normally would.

“I don’t know enough about humans to know what to do with this,” he said, his voice slow as well. He gestured towards your arrow. “We can take out weapons and heal from it, but you...you have blood? You’ve never been impaled in front of me...I don’t know...should I burn it out?”

“I don’t know...I’ve...never been shot by an arrow before?” you said, looking at it. You reached up and touched the shaft, it jarred your shoulder painfully. Examining it closer, you noticed that the arrow had pulled in some of your clothing into the wound. The fabric around it was starting to absorb your blood, and you gently touched the darker patch. A bit more pain started entering your senses.

“We should get you back to the village, Toriel will be able to help you, right? I know humans can survive a lot...but can you bleed out from that? Is it hitting any of your stuff? Is there stuff in your shoulder?” Grillby’s voice was rushing out of him, and his head was whipping around as if the answers were hidden around your farm...or what was left of it.

Grillby was rambling. He wasn’t a rambler, that was Nindree. Something in you clicked. If he was freaking out, you _were_ not allowed to lose it either. One of you had to keep a level mind. You could freak out when you were safe…and when Grillby was safe.

If you hadn’t noticed the men with the water…would Grillby be freaking out in front of you? Gods. The thought of him dusting in front of your eyes made you go cold. He was so strong magically…but water could kill him. Something so abundant in the world that if there were a rainstorm it could do some serious damage to him. You honestly felt sick at the thought, and so you grabbed his arm.

“Grillby, take off your cape.” He looked at you in confusion for a moment before he quickly unclipped the fabric from his pauldrons. You instructed him calmly on how to fold the piece of fabric to create a sling for your arm as it was fairly useless with the arrow sticking out of it. You might have enough magic to heal the injury once you pulled out the arrow, but you didn’t trust yourself to not faint from the pain when it was removed. So, you had him break the arrow shaft to a more manageable length...and you then knew for certain that if you yanked it out you _would_ faint. The pain from him jarring it just to break it was enough to send you to your knees.

He whispered reassuring and encouraging things, his hand providing a warm comfort on your back.

Eventually, he helped you back to your feet and you once again looked at your farm.

“Unhook the cow from cart, we can’t travel the roads by night with the threat of bandits being out there,” you instructed and he quickly moved to comply. The two of you had to hide out for the night, and you needed to be far enough away from the burnt remains of your farm so that any remaining bandits weren’t able to find you as easily.

How did they even find you? Tracks? That was the only explanation...or perhaps they had seen you leaving your farmstead that morning to drop off supplies to the monsters. Bandits rarely attacked settlements as there generally were too many guards, and with the fear of monsters that the King and the Mages Guild instilled in humanity it was reasonable that if you and Grillby got back to the monster village they wouldn’t bother you.

If there were any bandits left.

Grillby guided the cow to your side, along with his horse.

Where could the two of you go with the two animals to hide out for the night? A defensible place. Sure, the two of you could head into the forest and find a comfy clearing to sleep, but you doubted either of you would actually be able to sleep.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t go too far with the cow because she would complain soon if she didn’t get any sleep as well.

Damn it.

Grillby said your name softly, and you looked over at him and offered a weak smile.

You didn’t see tonight going this way...you had wanted to tell Grillby about your past. Before that, you had wanted both him and Nindree to come over. Maybe take them to see the waterfalls up the river...have a picnic with them.

Your mind drifted to the day you had rescued Toriel and the others, and suddenly you knew exactly where you and Grillby could stake out the night.

It was a much slower journey having to walk your cow and his horse along the bank of the river in the dark. You knew that your cow would _not_ be okay with leaving the farmstead in the night if it wasn’t for Grillby’s ambient light. Ah, that was another good thing about him. A walking torch. Eventually, the pain in your shoulder was growing worse and worse, and Grillby took the reins from you. Gods, why did your fight or flight instincts have to fade now instead of when you were at the cave?

That didn’t exactly help the journey go any faster, or maybe you were just so focused on your pain that you thought it took way longer than normal. As you passed the waterfalls you let out a bitter huff and Grillby looked down at you. You explained that you had wanted to show him and Nindree the waterfall...but you’d probably never get to show it to Nindree now. You didn’t want to risk bringing her here.

“The thought alone will make her happy,” he said softly, “It’s a lovely sight.”

“Lovely? Didn’t think you’d like it that much because of all the water,” you said, guiding him away from the waterfall towards the cave.

“Just because something is dangerous doesn’t mean it can’t also be beautiful,” he replied, “You're dangerous to me too.”

It took you a few steps before the sentence fully registered to you. You glanced over your shoulder at him, but he was looking over you at the rock face. Brighter than normal but stoic as ever. The blush on your face betrayed how that comment made you feel.

“I get what you mean,” you said, turning back to watch where you were stepping. The last thing you needed was to break your ankle. “Fire is dangerous, but I could stare at it all night.”

There was a sputtering noise, and you felt you blush darken and a genuine smile stretch over your lips before the cave came into view. You pointed it out to him and urged him to head into the cave with the two animals first. His flames were brighter than normal and he couldn’t look directly at you as he passed you. Once his flames were no longer lighting up the forest, you took a moment to allow your eyes to adjust to the darkness. In the silence and dark of the night, you dragged your foot in a semi-circle around the cave before whispered an illusion spell into the night. A faint shimmering was the only indication that the spell worked.

You entered the cave and sat down slowly onto hard rock.

“We can head out in the morning...I’d want to go back for my cart but I don’t think it’s worth it,” you murmured, turning your head back to look down at the arrow in your shoulder. Grillby bent down beside you and placed a gentle hand to your shoulder to examine the wound once again.

“I should have gotten Nindree to drink less...I do not know why she got so- she shouldn’t have. If she were here we could have protected you better and-“ he was rambling again and you grabbed at his wrist, it startled him into silence.

“You don’t need to protect me. I’m not your King,” you said, voice a bit flatter than you meant it to be. A few sparks crackled up from the top of his head.

“I know. I just meant-“ he started but you shook your head.

“I’m just in pain, tired, and...” you trailed off, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” his voice was barely a whisper, and his hand lifted slightly before he shifted and sat down next to you. “Your entire life was destroyed.”

“I still got Lady over there,” you pointed to your cow. “Besides...my life has been uprooted before. It’s kind of how I got there. I can start again fresh, somewhere new. Maybe on the other side of the mountain, further away from the human settlements.”

You were more trying to convince and uplift yourself than you were trying to reassure Grillby that you were fine. It wasn’t that big a deal! Just twelve years of your life gone. All your sheep and ducks that you and your friends had lovingly named. All your books that you collected and loved to read...your recipe book. You took a deep breath and released it slowly. Everything gone...but...this time you weren’t alone. You stole a glance at Grillby, whose gaze was fixated on the entrance of the cave.

“I cast an illusion spell,” you murmured, “Anyone who sees the entrance will just see more rock.”

His shoulders relaxed a little.

The two of you fell silent again, and you fiddled with the end of your tunic. You were glad you were wearing trousers today, the dress you had been debating on wearing would’ve been too thin...even if you had a living fire beside you. The cold of the stone was seeping through the thick wool and you inched ever so slightly closer to Grillby hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“You could move into the village,” he spoke suddenly, interrupting your inner thoughts. You peered up at him, brows furrowing.

“I couldn’t,” you stated, and then waved your good arm. “There’s plenty of refugees heading to the village all the time. I couldn’t take up space that someone in real need could use.”

“Are you not considered a refugee now? Have humans not destroyed your home because of who you are? A Mage who cares for monsters? None of the others in the village would think twice about letting you live there, and many would feel safer if you did. The Lionheart living amongst them?” Grillby turned slightly towards you, but you turned your head away from him to stare at the ground beside you. The Mage he conjured in your mind was probably too...idyllic.

“Even if they do accept me, I’m a liability! I mean-,” you gestured towards the entrance, “They found me there! I obviously wasn’t doing enough to make sure no one found me! What would happen in they attacked the village? I couldn’t live with myself! Besides...I-I have been too...too lenient about who knows where I live. I’m not safe if people know where I live! They could’ve told others...other humans. They could’ve told the Mages Guild!” you were getting louder, and your breathing was becoming heavier.

Grillby’s flames whooshed loudly and you turned to look at him. He placed a hand on your knee, startling you for how forward a gesture it was. Your face blushed. “The village has the best tactical advantage being against the mountain, the only downside it currently has is that it doesn’t have any walls keeping those who would harm it out,” he said, removing his hand now that he had your attention.

“What? I mean...yeah? It should technically have a wall that extends over the river and back around if it was to be really defended...” you murmured bemused by the sudden shift in the conversation. It wasn’t a full change...but it was still jarring.

“King Riagol wants to move the capital here, it’s more defensible against attack, and we’d be able to keep a closer eye on the humans here. Why do you think he’s been visiting the village so often of late? We’ve been debating tactical advantage and expansion capabilities of the village,” he explains, his voice quiet. His eyes were staring at yours intently as if he was making sure you were really understanding what he was saying. However, you were surprised by the fact that the capital would be moved to the village. Sure...Grillby had a point, there was plenty of pros to the location but it was extremely close to the human capital. A weeks travel. Which, if the monsters capital was still in the same place as it was twelve years ago, was half the travel distance between the two capitals.

Grillby seemed to be waiting for a response, but you couldn’t really guess what. So, you rubbed your face lightly, if you weren’t so...upset you’d tell him he needed to realize that you weren’t able to pick up on his intent like other monsters were.

“Okay, but what does that have to do with me? Unless you have another reason about mentioning that the capital may be moving to the village,” you said, leaning your head back against the rock. Exhaustion was starting to drape itself over your body, but your mind was still sharp and awake. Your eyes threatened to droop but you knew that you’d just be stuck in that weird in-between sleep and wakeful state.

“You have this weird attitude about thinking your encroaching on monster spaces…which is bullshit,” he said, and your head whipped over to him.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve sworn in front of me,” you blurted out without meaning to. He moved on as if you hadn’t even spoken.

“but, I can understand that you feel like you need to prove yourself worthy. Which is why I am proposing that you assist the village with expanding to accommodate a large influx of monsters.”

“I can’t live in the village,” you reiterated, looking over at the horse and cow. Lady had decided to fall asleep standing rather than lay on the cold floor, but the horse was laid down fairly close to Grillby.

“Why not?” his voice was soft again.

“Because I’m still a human! I mean, you of all monsters should hate me because of that fact alone!” you snapped before you could stop yourself.

The world went black and white all but a small purple heart floating in front of your chest. Your eyes snapped over to Grillby and you saw his eyes widen. His hand reached towards your SOUL before dropping immediately and he shifted away from you. Neither of you spoke as he stared at the crack in your SOUL, and his hand shifted to his chest and rubbed at the spot where his SOUL would be.

Your SOUL was reacting differently from how it did with Nindree, it was vibrating slightly and slowly creeping away from you. You reached out and scooped it back towards yourself.

There was a soft tapping feeling on your SOUL without anyone actually touching it.

“You have no LV…so that means you’ve never killed a monster,” he explained, his voice strained. “You’re feeling guilty…and your SOUL is cracked…”

You stared down at your SOUL instead of meeting his gaze.

“Have you ever been in an encounter?” he asked gently. You nodded.

“With Nindree…it ended pretty quick,” you murmured softly, you were feeling vulnerable but it was different than it was with Nindree again. Your SOUL wasn’t passive now, it was actively attempting to escape your grasp albeit slowly. There was a warmth and safety that exuded over your SOUL which was a stark contrast to the guilt and fear that you had when you first saw your SOUL. Nindree had to pour her intent into the air before it could override your own emotions.

Maybe…now was a good time to tell him?

Tap.

“Tell me what?” he asked, voice incredibly soft.

You looked up at him, scowling slightly.

“Sorry…I- Sorry, you don’t have to,” Grillby immediately apologized and the world returned back to its normal colours once again. “I shouldn’t have checked you again…although I shouldn’t have checked without your permission the first time either.”

You shook your head slightly and took a deep breath. Before you could speak Grillby returned to your side.“When we get back to the village, I can speak to the King if you’d like to let you help construct new buildings and an outer defense wall…and if the capital is moved then me and Nindree would need to move there too.”

“Yeah…can’t shake you guys off anymore…could I?” you asked, voice strained now. He didn’t give you time to tell him…and now you were starting to have second thoughts. Maybe later? Yeah…later. The exhaustion was starting to creep into your mind as well. Your body was getting really weak and tired. Your wound was throbbing with your heartbeat now. Grillby chuckled, and then bumped his shoulder into yours lightly. It jarred your shoulder but you felt too weak to complain. You just wanted to sleep. Gods...you were way too warm.

“Nindree and I will most likely be living in the same space as I am her second in command and we will need to live near the King…and I’m sure Nindree wouldn’t mind if you lived with us as well,” he said, not meeting your gaze, but staring stiffly at the opposite side of the cage. Your chest swelled as you noticed that there was a blue tinge to his flames.

You sighed softly and shifted so you were as comfortable as you could be against the rock face. “Oh, if Nindree wants me to live with her then, by all means, I’ll move in with her. We totally balance each other out.”

You fell asleep to Grillby chuckling at that statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting the 11th chapter on Friday along with my ‘You Matter To Me’ fanfic because I am going to be gone from Saturday-Thursday camping so I won’t get the chance to post it next Monday!
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna chat


	11. Remember Who You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that I'm going away until Thursday so there will be no update for this on Monday since I'm posting it today. Regular posting will resume on Sept. 16th!

Waking up was an experience. You were moving for one. Two, your shoulder was hot and painful with each shift. Three, you blearily noticed a horse’s head lightly bobbing ahead of you. Your mind was trying to connect the dots but the pain wasn’t allowing you to focus too much. Slowly, you shifted your head and noticed Lady meandering beside the horse and followed her lead to where it was tied to the saddle. Your gaze slowly focused on the hand holding onto the horses reins.

“Are you awake?” Grillby’s voice murmured behind you. You jerked slightly in surprise and an arm tightened around your waist. “Careful.”

“Where are we?” you murmured. When did you get on a horse? More importantly, since when did Grillby get back in?

“We’ve got about another half hour until the village,” he said, his voice strained. “You would not wake this morning. ”

Ah. Right. Yesterday. Something...happened? Thinking made your head hurt and you reached up to rub at your temples. Gods...you felt chilled but oddly warm.

“Sorry.”

A soft sigh. “I’m just glad that you woke eventually.”

“My shoulder hurts.”

There was a pause, and then, “Do...you remember why your shoulder hurts?”

Your gaze shifted to your shoulder. “Arrow.”

You attempted to touch the shaft of the arrow but Grillby dropped the reins and grabbed your hand, forcing it back down. You complained lightly, but he shifted easily and trapped your functioning arm beneath the arm he was using to stabilize you. Only once you were subdued again did he pick up the reins. A few minutes passed.

“M’spell,” you mumbled, “Didn’t end’t’

“Worry about that later. You need a healer,” he reassured you quietly.

“I can heal,” you suggested, leaning your head back against his chest and tilting your head up. He was wearing his helmet.

“We don’t want that healed inside your stuff,” he informed you and you blew a raspberry.

“M’tuff.”

That got a chuckle out of him, it was weak but it was still something. “If I weren’t so worried, this would be quite amusing.”

“What?”

“You.”

You snorted, “m’always amusing. M’a delight.”

“Are you now?” his voice was lightly teasing.

You nodded weakly, “only wi’you. M’best friend.”

»»————- ————-««

When you woke up again, it was due to the sudden loss of heat against your back and into very soft arms. You weakly complained, but a furry hand brushed against your forehead. People were talking but they sounded far away.

“...bandit ambush.”

“...pale...arrow?”

“Remove....”

“Poison?”

The voices were growing fainter and you were feeling weaker. You felt immensely cold, but so hot at the same time. Everything was numb but on fire and in pain at the same time.

You were placed on a hard surface and you mourned the loss of the soft arms.

Why was everything dark? You heard someone mutter something about ‘eyes’. Oh. Your eyes were closed. It took ages but you finally cracked your eyes open. Asgore, Toriel, Grillby, and Nindree were standing around you. They were talking? No arguing. What were they arguing about? Your brain couldn’t keep up with their words.

Something cool pressed against your forehead and you leaned into it, it felt so nice compared to how hot you were. Or were you cold? Either way it felt wonderful.

You were tired. Maybe you could just...nap while they argued. Nindree looked down at you as your eyes began to slip closed before her hand moved towards your shoulder. There was a sudden burst of agony in your shoulder and you felt your mouth open but then...nothing.

»»————- ————-««

Your eyes snapped open to see a small child laid out on a hospital bed. She was so small compared to the giant bed and had linen bandages wrapped around her arms and even if you couldn’t see it, her torso as well. Her eyes slowly blinked open, unseeing for a moment. You knew she was blinded by the sun through the window after who knows how long sleeping.

The fear in the child’s eyes was immediate as she looked around sharply.

You wanted to comfort her. Tell her that it was okay. However, your mouth wouldn’t open.

You watched as nurses tried to calm her down to no avail.

One of the nurses ends up knocking the child out.

»»————- ————-««

The scene shifted immediately to a still frightened child clutching her bed sheets tightly. A man is standing at the foot of her bed staring down at her with a fake warm look. The child isn’t fooled by the man’s false kindness. She doesn’t know how she got here, and no one would really tell her how...but now she was told _why._

“You’re a Mage, young one. Your purpose from this day forward is to serve Humanity and protect it from the dark.”

The child is confused. She doesn’t understand. The man explains it more. Telling her about how she will be going to school with other kids her age to train to become a Mage. A magic wielder. (A soldier). Someone who others would look up to. (In fear). Her eyes widened in wonder and the fear slowly faded. She could do good! She could help others like her, who were afraid and alone!

»»————- ————-««

The next time you saw the girl she was older, no more than 10. She’s sitting on a balcony overlooking the sea, working on her staff. Her fingers are covered in small knicks from her wood carving tool and getting splinters, but she’s humming a long forgotten song. The staff is little more than a wooden shaft at the moment.

This time you’re able to sit beside her on the bench, watching as she methodically carved pieces out and checked the fit in her hand. She’d grow so her fingers could barely wrap around it, but you knew that it’d be the perfect fit when she was older.

A door opened and some children whose faces were blurry and voices distorted by time rushed out onto the balcony calling the little girl’s name. She looked up, surprise in her wide, young eyes. The children gestured wildly to each other and their voices were angry and frustrated. Only when they finished did the little girl speak. Her voice so familiar but their words didn’t carry to your ears.

“You’re right,” one of the kids voices finally broke through the muffled fog. “Ugh. I’m sorry...”

The little girls face lit up, “See! I’m really happy you apologized to them! I always feel sad when my friends are upset.”

The kid’s face suddenly shifted into focus. A small young boy. His cute freckled face blushed darkly, and he immediately spun around and raced away. The little girl’s head tilted and the other kids tittered before telling her something and chasing after the boy.

For a moment, the girl stared after them...and you wanted to encourage her to go after them. Play with the other kids. Instead, she sighed softly and turned back to her staff. Self imposed isolation. Befriending everyone but not really _knowing_ them. Impartial but kind. You reached out to stroke the child’s hair, to tell her that studying isn’t more important than children...especially with what happens. Your fingers ghost through her form and she dissolves to smoke.

»»————- ————-««

You watch as the small girl, a bit older now, breaks up a fight between two of her classmates, her face twisted in frustrated anger as she tells them both to knock it off. Words were easier than fighting. They each blabbered immediately about their side of the story, but the young girl stomped her foot and glared. They quieted. Once they did, her face calmed and she patted the bench in front of her.

She got the story out of them quickly. She learns that the one kid had been being bullied by the other students because his birth father was a well-known monster sympathizer. You watched as the little girl cross her arms, her little face screwed up in thought as she stared at the group of students. The little girl huffed angrily.

“We aren’t our parents! How! Do you justify! Hurting him!” she spat out, pure confusion. The other kids glanced amongst each other. “I don’t even know my parents! Besides! How could peace every be worse than war?”

Her sharp gaze locked onto every other kid surrounding her. They couldn’t hold her gaze.

You heard some teachers who had been watching whispering amongst each other. Something that the kids heard but were too focused on their own discussion to bother with.

“She’s like Lady Justice reborn!” the man whispered, his hands tucked in his robe as he watched with thinly veiled amusement. The woman nodded vigorously.

“One day she will make a great Grandmaster Sage. A powerful born leader,” the woman murmured back, “So far, the best candidate out of all of her fellow classmates.”

Another man, one you were familiar with, strode past the two of the Sages and over to the gathered children. The young girl was getting everyone to apologize to each other for resorting to blows instead of their words.

The crowd silenced as the man came to a stop, and they all immediately bowed towards him.

“Grandmaster Sage!” their young voices chorused together.

The man smiles warmly, and his eyes focus in on the young girl who was looking up at him curiously. She had only seen him from far away, and she couldn’t keep her mouth shut as she said, “You scare me.”

Did she actually say that...or was that just what you remembered her saying? You focused on the other children, but none of them seemed shocked. Did she actually say anything to him?

Regardless of whether or not the girl spoke, the man chuckled as he knelt in front of her, “You impress me, young Mage. I look forward to seeing what you accomplish.”

»»————- ————-««

The scene shifted and you saw the girl was now thirteen. Wearing Acolyte clothes now instead of simple Mage wear. She is rushing down a hallway towards the Grandmaster’s office. Her face shifted in worry. However, she pauses outside the door to collect herself before knocking and waiting. A heartbeat past before she entered, a smile on her face.

“Hello, Father. Sorry I’m late,” she said, walking over to her usual spot. Your father stared at the teen for a moment before sighing disappointedly. He said something that you couldn’t understand, and then the room grew fuzzy...your vision blurring everything besides your father. You stared at him, brow furrowed. You...didn’t remember this part?

You remember running to your father’s office every morning for your daily lessons as his apprentice, but you watched as he walked over to stand in front of the younger you. His hands touched her face, a blank slate.

“I will wait my turn to be the Grandmaster Sage, my father’s experience far outweighs my own power,” his voice echoed alarmingly through your mind, and you watched in horror as the young teen murmured the words back. Empty. Devoid. When had you started calling him father? You had met him only...a year before this point? Why couldn’t you remember when? Why did you think that you knew him for longer than you did?

Memories popped up of him tucking you in when you were younger.

Were those real? Or were...

You stared at the scene unfolding before you.

No.

What you were experiencing were your memories.

Locked away inside of you.

What you remembered were manipulations.

»»————- ————-««

The cute freckled boy was now a cute freckled young teen who blushed darkly whenever you smiled at him. He had asked you to meet him on that balcony from a previous memory. He was wearing his best robe and he was blushing hard as he held out a single golden flower towards you. Your heart beat heavily in your chest as you accepted it.

He kissed you.

Something was missing...but it was nice.

Your father did _not_ think the same.

You cried in your bed that night...but you can’t remember why.

You vaguely see a crumpled golden flower and broken glass.

»»————- ————-««

You’re standing in front of a rabbit monster. Your father is standing off to the side. The two of you are watching as a Sage experimented on ways to keep a monster from dusting. You watched as magic was continuously pumped into the rabbit keeping them on the brink of death but never allowed to dust.

You tasted bile.

“W-Why do I need to watch this?” your voice blurted out, head whipping to your father.

His eyes are cold as they looked back at you. “Sit still. Watch. This is knowledge you need to know for when you are Grandmaster.”

Your head turned back around.

Bile.

Dust.

The air is thick with the misery and fear of the monster as they projected their feelings into the air. Your SOUL clenched so painfully and you launched in between the sage and the monster. Pain blossomed over the side of your face and you screamed in pain.

Even so...

Your SOUL wouldn’t let you faint.

It pulsed.

You needed to stop this.

This wasn’t fair.

This wasn’t just.

You glared at the Sage.

“Stop!”

Your father grabbed your arm and wrenched you from the room. His fingernails dug into your arm.

»»————- ————-««

The scenes shift and whizz by you. Half remembered memories clouded with fog that sometimes cleared and sometimes grew even more misty as you tried to remember.

What you felt was sorrow. Deep, gut wrenching sorrow...and fear. Eventually the fear faded and there was just an empty feeling of needing to...continue. Get through everything. You’d become Grandmaster...you’d understand one day why your father treated you the way he did. All you had to do was stop...caring. Stop leaping to the defense of monsters. You would be the leader of all Mages one day...and monsters were a threat to Humanity.

»»————- ————-««

You snapped.

»»————- ————-««

Your eyes flew open and you sat up, chest heaving.

Where were you?

What happened?

Oh, gods...you ached.

Your eyes flicked around as you felt hands gently pushing you to lay back down. Nindree was sitting on the bed, her face twisted in concern. You met her gaze and then you burst into tears. Her own eyes widened, the small white pupils constricting before she was pressing a cool cloth against your forehead.

“You’re okay!!!! Totally not dead or anything!” Nindree blurted out, her words sounded stiff. “Uhhhh. I mean it was a SUPER close call there for a bit, but Prince Asgore? He’s great at SOUL stuff, kept ya together as Toriel healed you.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” you blurted out, ignoring her words. “It wasn’t my fault.”

Her eyes flicked to the side, and then back at you. “Uh...I know??? I mean, it’s more my fault? I wasn’t there to help ya out when I shoulda been. Never drinking again. Seriously. If you had died? Never woulda forgiven myself.”

You blinked through you tears, her words sinking in now. You almost died. Was that why you were so tired? You felt yourself sinking into the bed as you slurred out, “I woulda.”

“What?” Nindree’s confusion didn’t seem to be dying down. Why didn’t she understand?

“Forgiven you.”

Her brow furrowed and she grabbed your face and squished it lightly. “I’m glad! But! Do I need to get Toriel??? Cus you seem pretty out of it.”

You patted your chest lightly where your soul was. “M’good...it wasn’t my fault.”

Nindree nodded slowly, and her eyes flicked down to your SOUL. You vaguely felt a tap to it as your eyes started to flutter shut. There was a quiet moment and then Nindree sighed softly. “Heh...well that’s a story for when you’re not completely out of sorts cus you almost DIED,” Nindree’s hand patted yours...but you were already back asleep.

A few deep breaths later, and Nindree flopped onto her back over your legs.

* **She finally knows her proper past**

“Heh...at least you’re alive to tell me it later?” Nindree muttered to the quiet room. “Grillbz has been worried sick about you. Was in here EVERY day since you got back and refusing to leave your side. I get it though. You guys are total SOULmates. One of you IDIOTS just needs to confess already. A war is brewing and you stupid idiots are wasting precious time not being all cute and gross.”

Nindree lulled her head to the side to look at your face. It looked leagues better, but she still remembered the pale clammy face. There had been dark lines that curled out from the wound, and if it hadn’t have been for one of the healer’s knowledge about human wounds...you probably would have died. Posioned by the arrow, infecting your blood and stuff.

UGH! If she had BEEN there!!!! She would’ve yanked the damn thing out and started forcing you to heal yourself! Wash it out or something! Not just let it fester.

The door opened and Nindree looked up at Grillby as he entered. Fires dim.

“She woke up for a moment. Delirious, but she said that she would have forgiven me if she died. So that’s good,” Nindree gave him a thumbs up.

Grillby gave her a withered look.

Nindree couldn’t blame either of her idiots.

She couldn’t blame herself either.

But she’d be a lot more attentive.

She wasn’t about to lose either of her friends to their own stupidity.


	12. Tell Him

You were pretty sure that you had never felt so bad in your entire life. Your body was heavy and weak. It felt like it took everything within you to turn your head away from the morning sun. You’d been waking up every day in the morning for the past three days, and the Healers were saying that you would likely be back to normal in the next two days or so. A fact you were wholly looking forward to. Not...that you had anything to get to.

Apparently King Riagol had some of his guards go and scout out your farmstead to see if there were any lingering humans who could track you back to the village. Everything had been destroyed.

Still, even the horrible tragedy of losing half of your life’s work wasn’t at the forefront of your mind. Your waking thoughts were spent dissecting your forgotten memories which had resurfaced. Apparently, after Nindree had torn the poisoned arrow from your shoulder your body had reacted very badly to the pain. Toriel had pulled you into an encounter to directly heal your SOUL instead of your body as other healers worked the toxins from your body. There was only so much they could do as poison doesn’t work on monsters like it did to humans. The intention to kill a monster with poison would just dust them; there would be no torturous poisoning of the blood.

Healing your SOUL directly had lessened the crack, and apparently caused long-forgotten memories to surface. Still nothing from before your time at the Citadel. It would’ve been nice to remember your birth parents and why you woke up in the hospital unit.

If those memories were to be believed, that meant that everything you believed about yourself were complete lies. You hadn’t passively watched monsters being tortured, you had cared that they were being hurt and killed, you didn’t want to just follow along with someone else’s wishes because you were told to. Your own moral compass had been thoroughly corrupted and twisted by magic that ate away at your SOUL trait until it faded completely and was replaced with the purple perseverance that it currently was.

You had always thought your father- no, the Grandmaster, had raised you out of compassion for the small girl he had met. That he had found you in the hospital room and had adopted you as his own. That he had trained you from day one...but instead? You hadn’t known him for more than five years before you had fled the Citadel.

Everything that you had thought was a lie.

Everything you thought about your past self was a lie.

The good thing in all of this? You knew who you were, now. You would and could survive anything anyone ever threw at you. You would and could help those less fortunate than you, those who were faced with prejudices and hatred. You were finished with focusing on the past, fearing it. You were finished thinking that you owed anyone anything. You did what you did because that is who you were...and not because you were acting out of guilt.

You were done with ignoring your SOUL. Mages were supposed to be more in tune with their own SOUL and magic than regular humans were...and you hadn’t focused on your SOUL in years. It dampened your magic, and you were beginning to think that is part of the reason that the Grandmaster manipulated your mind for so long. If you weren’t focusing on honing your magic, you wouldn’t truly surpass him in regards to your magical output. A lot of things were beginning to make sense to you.

You wondered if there was an ounce of sympathy in that old man.

It didn’t matter. Even if he had the smallest amount of sympathy or empathy, you wouldn’t SPARE him.

For the past two days you had been meditating on your SOUL, you needed to get your magic back up to snuff. If there was to be a war between humanity and monster kind, you wanted to be stronger than any other Mage out there. You _needed_ to. Not to prove that you were better, but to protect those you cared about

Thankfully, Toriel had already done a lot of the work for you by healing it directly, but you knew you had a lot further to go until you were truly at your peak form. If you had been attuned to your SOUL you would’ve known that it had cracked long before Nindree had mentioned it.

Speaking of Nindree, she had been in to visit you that morning before she was needed on guard duty. When she had been in you had finally gotten the time to talk to her about your visions while you had been out. It was a weight off your shoulders once again, and she helped you sort your thoughts better. Heh...you never thought that Nindree would end up your confidant with this sort of thing...nor that she would be so good at helping you realize that the way you thought wasn’t always the healthiest way. Then again, she was so confident all the time and seemed to constantly be happy and content.

She also reminded you that you still needed to tell Grillby about your past...and now that you knew the truth? You knew you _had_ to tell him. You owed him that much.

You had asked Nindree to send Grillby your way when he was free.

The entire day went by without any sign of the fiery elemental, but after Toriel’s visit, you felt the soft pulling sensation of your SOUL. It did that a lot lately, tugging in certain directions gently. You were beginning to figure out what it meant, and your suspicion was once again proven as the door to the small room was opened and Grillby entered.

He hesitated briefly as your gazes met, and you saw the shift of his flames that you associated with his gentle smile. Your SOUL leapt at the sight and you felt yourself instinctually smiling back. Even just seeing him your day was brighter than it was before.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, coming over to sit at the edge of your bed. You didn’t bother to shift to make room for him, the warmth felt nice.

“Getting better,” you replied honestly, reaching up and gently rubbing at your shoulder near the puckered wound. “I’ll eventually be back to normal.”

You knew that Grillby felt guilty for your wound, but you refused to listen to his apologies. It wasn’t his fault, and neither was it yours. The person who shot you had been consumed by the Earth.

Honestly? When you remembered the power you had summoned...it had scared you. You’d _never_ been able to alter the Earth before. Elemental powers were very hard to control. Air was the easiest because it was free to shift around at will, water was easy as well but it generally liked to follow the natural order of things. Earth was stubborn and rarely responded to any magical influence...and then Fire refused to be tamed. A Mage using fire magic had to have trained for years before they would dare use it in combat. It tended to flare back against the user.

“That’s good,” Grillby crackled gently, and then his gaze dropped to an object in his lap. As you turned your own gaze towards it, he lifted it and held it towards you. You recognized it instantly.

Your recipe book.

Your mouth slackened and you felt tears prickling at the edges of your eyes. It had completely slipped your mind that you had given it to him to take to the capital when he left.

A few tears escaped your eyes as you accepted it and ran a hand over the cover. It was probably the one thing that if it had been destroyed in the fire, you would’ve never been able to recreate. Every time you successfully made a new reciepe you had painstakingly written it out on tiny cards and tucked them away into the book. There were recipes from years ago that you enjoyed but didn’t make enough to remember by memory. There were magical recipes from Gerson within that he had shared with you on his journey’s. His memory was just bad enough you knew that if you had lost this book, you’d never regain those special recipes ever again.

“Thank you,” you murmured, gently pulling yourself into a sitting position to flip through the pages. Grillby said nothing as you found some of your favourite recipes and gently ran your finger tips over them. It was easy to tell which ones you had referred to over and over again, the ink was faded and there were smudges of different stains in the shape of your fingers.

You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand. When you finally closed the book, you felt a bit lighter. It was more cathartic than you would’ve thought to flip through such a simple thing. Yet, as you glanced back up at Grillby...a heaviness settled in the air.

_You need to tell him._

“Grillby,” your voice was softer and weaker than you meant it to be, and his eyes flicked up to meet yours. Faint worry etching his flaming features, you dropped your gaze immediately, “D-Do you remember when you checked me the second time in the cave?”

You saw a gentle nod in your peripherals.

“I meant to talk to you about something when we got back to my...home...but,” you gave a weak chuckle, “things kept happening and I wasn’t able to.”

He was waiting patiently for you to continue, but you hesitated slightly. The words caught in your throat. You hadn’t wanted to tell Nindree, but the words had flowed forth like the water gushing down a waterfall. It felt like your throat was dry and you couldn’t force the words up.

After a moment, you felt his hand gently touch your knee.

_He deserves to know._

“I was raised in the Citadel, I think I was about four when I was brought there. I...can’t remember where I came from before then, the earliest thing I can remember was waking surrounded by nurses.”

You went on, reciting everything you could remember about your past. Unlike with Nindree, your words were more carefully chosen and it came out slow and quietly. As if you wanted him to hear every word you uttered. Which you did. You wanted him to know everything...because you didn’t want him trusting you when he didn’t know who you used to be.

He’d told you his past, and it was fair for him to know yours.

You told him about how you had gaps in your memory...but you could guess what had happened.

You told him how the Grandmaster had manipulated your thoughts and memories.

Throughout it all, he simply stared at his hand on your knee, not acknowledging what you were saying at all. It worried you...because even his flames weren’t giving away anything he was feeling. No shift in colour. No shift in the movement. It was terrifying.

You placed a hand over where your SOUL sat. You felt the magic of it quivering beneath your fingers...it was portraying your fear and worry. You tried to stifle it and you saw his eyes flicker up briefly to look where your SOUL sat beneath your chest. There was a soft feeling of hesitant comfort, and you felt tears collecting in your eyes once again.

“I..told Nindree but when I told her I had...thought that I had just watched the m-monsters die without feeling anything, without trying to stop it...” you whispered, dropping your gaze to the ground. His head shifted towards you slightly. You heard the slightly louder crackling of him saying something in his own language, and you swallowed thickly. “I...only got ‘your SOUL’ and ‘Nindree’ out of that...” you whispered, afraid he would snap at you if he spoke the common tongue.

It sounded like he cleared his throat, “Is that why your SOUL is cracked? Did...Nindree do that?”

“No!” you blurted out, throwing up your hands in her defence. “That...I...think it happened when I rescued Toriel and the others? I’m not sure...I haven’t been too-uh...focused on my SOUL lately...”

Grillby fell silent again, head still shifted towards you but he wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was focused on the recipe book on your lap.

Thousands of thoughts raced through your mind. What was he thinking? What was he feeling? Would he blow up at you? Yell at you for not telling him sooner? Would he get mad that you told Nindree and not him at the same time? Would he understand but never want to be around you? Would he turn you away from the village claiming you were a danger to the monsters? You didn’t want him to hate you...but you’d understand if he did.

You didn’t voice any of your thoughts, just waited impatiently. A healer attempted to come in...but whatever she sensed in the room caused her to flash an alarmed look and then dart out immediately.

That...didn’t help your nerves.

Humans could never feel intent the way monsters did.

So...what was Grillby feeling that emitted such a strong intent that another monster would be alarmed and run?

Sparks rained from Grillby’s mouth and he ran a hand over his face, breaking the absolute stillness in the room. He muttered something in his language and then his eyes _finally_ met your gaze again. You felt your body tense and then deflate as he placed his hand over your wound and started emitting soft healing magic.

“In...some ways, I feel grateful you waited until now to tell me,” he said, voice clear and firm. “I tried to think of how I would have reacted if you had told me prior to you discovering that your mind had been manipulated to allay fears that you might have had...but I am not sure. I may have...” he paused for a moment, “reacted poorly.”

Your stomach dropped, and you nodded. “I understand if you hate me-”

“Let me finish,” he insisted, dropping his hand to the bed and shifting towards you more. “I wouldn’t- no...couldn’t hate you for the abuse you suffered in the past. I can be a...‘hot head’ at times...but even before? I think I would have been furious because my gut emotions would overrule my logic...but I would’ve cooled down and realized that you’re not the same person.”

“Hot head?” you muttered, staring at his hand on the bed. “You? Never.”

His hand curled into a loose fist as he said, “It takes a lot to truly anger me, but it consumes me.”

You remembered him turning blue, and melting a man’s skin to the bone. That was definitely angry Grillby. You had never seen him fight before, and wondered if he got that angry ever time he fought...or if you getting shot had influenced him. You didn’t want him to ever have to feel like that again...but you knew that if a war were to break out; anger, fear, and sorrow would not be in short supply.

Speaking of your homestead, “Grillby...what happens now? D-Do...you want me to leave the village? I will-“

You felt a sharp surprise from him, and you rubbed at your SOUL. There was really only one explanation for _why_ you were feeling intent from him...and you didn’t want to think of it right now. Not when you weren’t sure if he was truly okay with what you had said.

“This hasn’t changed anything,” he insisted, reaching out and placing his hand on your non-injured shoulder. “I have already spoken to Riagol and he agrees that we need someone to help the monsters here expand and create better defenses. If...it’s still something you wish,” he explained.

Nothing changed? That...wasn’t what you thought he would say. Honestly, even if he agreed with Nindree that you had been too young and too manipulated for any blame to be placed upon you, you thought he would revoke his recommendation and deem you too much of a wild card.

“I...I’ll do it,” you agreed, “Thank you, Grillby...for everything.”

“I should be thanking you as well,” Grillby said with a gentle smile. “But...I believe that my visitation time is up...I may have accidentally gotten mad at the healer from earlier...” he said sheepishly glancing towards the door. You relaxed slightly, so the intent in the room hadn’t been fury towards you. Grillby returned his gaze towards you, “the healers want you to get plenty of sleep to regain your magic and stamina.”

Now that the anxiety of telling him your past had faded, you were feeling tired. It hit you all at once as soon as he mentioned that. Your eyes drooped slightly and you stifled a yawn. “Ah...yeah...”

“Get some rest, Nindree will certainly be in tomorrow morning to visit you again,” he stood up and took the recipe book from the bed and placed it on the small table next to the bed. Your eyes started to flicker shut, and you watched as he quietly headed for the door.

Grillby paused by the door to turn and look at you, “Oh, before I forget to mention. When we leave, we will not be back to the village for a while. It will take a while to get the word out to all the monsters that the capital is moving, and it will take even longer to actually get everything moved to her.”

You frowned slightly...but you knew that it wasn’t up to Grillby, nor was it like they had the obligation to keep visiting you frequently. There was another pulse of comfort and you released a soft sigh.

“I’ll have everything all ready for you then,” you offered, turning the frown into a bright smile. Or as bright as you could possibly achieve in your tired state. He returned the gentle smile.

“Don’t go finding any more trouble while we’re gone,” Grillby scolded lightly, “I don’t want to come back to find you back in this bed.”

“Trouble finds me,” you joked back, lifting your shoulder weakly.

“Sleep well,” he called in his own language before he disappeared from the room.

As you fell asleep, you felt the lingering comfort nestling within your SOUL.


	13. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I did some rearranging of the plot (again) and have upped the chapter total because some chapters I found would just be way too long if I didn't, and I realized that two chapters didn't make sense next to each other unless I had a transitional chapter. SO! It's been bumped up to 5.

Preparations began immediately once the royal court left the village. Excitement permeated the air as monsters chattered away about how thrilled they were that their little village was going to become the capital! It was going to grow and become the home for many monsters. There wasn’t a day that passed that you didn’t hear at least one monsters exclaiming their excitement and planning for the future. Quite a few monsters whispered about the possibility of finding their SOULmate once their village did become the capital.

It brought a smile to your face, and you squashed any negative thoughts down before they even surfaced.

More monsters meant more magic...and you were sincerely worried that humanity might do something drastic if they figured out the capital had been moved closer to the borders.

Once your strength had returned – surprisingly fast but then again you were being healed twice a day – you instantly began helping Toriel with planning the city.

There was the defensive wall to put up, homing to build, and other buildings to erect. It consumed your thoughts even when you rested for the night in Toriel’s home. 

What would’ve taken you months to do by yourself, took only days with the monsters help. Their magic wasn’t as strong or as versatile as your own, but they had amazing control and talent at what magic they did have. Those who used fire magic were able to control even the wildest, hottest, flames. Those who could heal put their whole being into healing.

It was amazing to watch the small village blossom virtually overnight into a city. It was unfortunately empty at the moment, but everyone was still full of pride for what they did accomplish in such a short amount of time.

A majority of the housing had been built into the side of the mountain, carved into the very stone. Different types of housing carefully constructed for different types of monsters. Large spaces for the larger monsters, and teeny tiny spaces for smaller monsters no bigger than a common mouse. Once nearly every space had been constructed with the various monsters in mind, Toriel had pointed out that you still hadn’t built your own space yet.

You had been given a chunk of space to construct your own house, but you were procrastinating on that. Sure, you had an idea of what Grillby and Nindree both wished for the house...but you were still worried that you’d somehow mess up. Toriel assured you that you could always meld the house later down the road, after all you’d been getting really adept with Earth magic.

So...after her reassurance you had begun to carve out your house. Three bedrooms, a room for washing for you and Nindree, a large kitchen, and a living area. Simple...but yours. Large windows that allowed massive amounts of morning light to seep into the space, and ceilings tall enough that both Grillby and Nindree wouldn’t have any trouble stretching their arms over their heads.

Over the year since you lost your farm, you’d slowly come to terms with everything that happened. You missed your ducks, sheep, and cows...but you still had Lady. Small victories you supposed. Many of the monsters enjoyed her presence and she helped a lot for cultivating land to use for farming for the future of the city. What could supply a village was nowhere near suitable for a city. After all, each day brought new monsters to ‘Home’ – the temporary name for the city, and what monsters used as a ‘codename’ for the new capital. It was harder for humans to discern ‘home’ from ‘Home’ after all, because they weren’t able to feel the intent in the monsters words if they overheard the conversation. Even as you got used to living in Home...there were still times where it felt like you shouldn’t be. Thoughts like you were a trespasser or you were taking up space that a monster could use would sprout in your head but you nipped them in the bud quickly. If they didn’t want you there, then you wouldn’t be there. You hadn’t forced your way into their lives. Gods, if you were being honest? It was very much the other way around. Well, for some monsters – Nindree – it was more forced, and others – Grillby – had more slowly eased their way in.

Speaking of, Grillby had taken to slipping in letters for you when the King sent update missives to inform Toriel and you of when they were expected to arrive with the rest of the capital. They were all written in his language but he’d included a translation guide with the first letter as he wasn’t confident enough to write the letters to you in your language.

It was a bit awkward reading something that didn’t translate fully into your language sometimes, but you couldn’t help but feel giddy each time a runner darted up to you with a letter. Even if you couldn’t immediately read it because you were in the middle of something, the letter sat heavily tucked into the pouch at your waist constantly reminding you throughout the day. Each night you’d get back to t and open the letter almost dizzy with excitement.

Each month brought with it a new letter, small updates of his life and you responded in kind. Leaving out a few...uh...’trouble’ moments. You didn’t exactly promise him to keep out of trouble but you’d rather not tell him the few times you nearly cracked your skull open because you got distracted while scaling up the side of the mountain to carve out a new pathway or building. There were of course also a few magical accidents. A lot of the monsters gave you tips to controlling various types of magic...unfortunately, after a couple of explosions you were banned from fire magic by Toriel. Understandable. Your eyebrows were _finally_ grown back out but you were still being teased by the Vulkins or other fire monsters about it. All good naturedly of course, and you’d once drawn on fake eyebrows with charcoal in an exaggerated way that made it very hard for Toriel to keep a straight face around you.

You still giggled whenever you thought about that.

Of course, then you found trouble.

Roots rose up sharply in front of a caravan, causing the horses to rear up in surprise and startle. A few took off after throwing their rider, but other riders were able to get their creature under control. You watched from deeper in the forest, hand on the ground as you retracted the roots back into the Earth.

Flashes of metal told you that their blades had been drawn as the riders looked around, shouting to each other about what the hell just happened and find the monster that caused this. They never thought a human would do something like this. Attack them instead of the monsters in the back of their stupid cart. You adjusted your mask to make sure that it was secure before slipping closer to the edge of the forest.

You quickly counted the bandits still standing. 

If there had been a Mage with them, you...probably would’ve still bothered, but you would’ve been even more cautious about it. Fortunately for you, these were just bandits who were kidnapping monsters off the road to deliver to the Citadel. Unfortunately for them? They were just bandits kidnapping poor monsters. No one would really miss them.

You’d been tracking this specific cart for the good part of the day and you knew that a few of the monsters had their stripes still.

You held no mercy for the bandits.

They stood no chance against you anyways. Your magical prowess had returned to what it had been before you had fled the Citadel by training with other monsters. Your control was better, and you were more attuned to your SOUL than you had ever been.

You summoned magical pellets – they could never be as solid as monsters could be but they at least looked similar to the untrained eye – about your form and sent them flying at the bandits. The small objects shredded their leather armor and exposed skin. They screamed about monsters and started sending arrows into the forest in defense. It made you scoff as you simply slid behind a tree and watched as the arrows carelessly careened into the bushes around you.

Were they honestly _not_ expecting monsters to use magic against them? Not that you were a monster, but...really. Most monsters wouldn’t attack a human unless they gave them a reason to. Defensive creatures, not offensive.

A bandit jumped down from the caravan, you felt the vibration in the ground which startled you slightly. That was...new? However, you shrugged and slowly slid down the tree trunk so you could place a hand back down against the ground. The roots once again leapt from the dirt and wrapped around his ankle. The man fell hard to the ground and the other roots covered his form. His body stopped struggling, and his choked screams quieted quickly.

The roots crawled up the cart, locking it to the ground.

The bandits cursed and those still on the cart jumped onto the backs of other horses. The cowardly humans took off towards where they had been heading, abandoning it and the monsters within to the ‘monster’ hidden in the woods.

You grinned and released the magical roots before slipping from the woods. You’d never been able to control Earth magic without seeing what you were doing before, if it wasn’t a fluke you could just imagine the implications of what you could eventually be able to do.

Only once you made sure that there were no remaining living humans to be able to distinguish you as human, you pulled down your hood and your mask.

A monster peered cautiously out of the bars and spotted you.

“Y-You’re human!” they chirped, head tilting to better look at you. It was some sort of bird-esque monster.

“You guys need to go Home?” you asked, slowly heading to the back of the caravan. There was a lock on the door. You studied the runes on the lock and let out a groan. Of course they’d have a ward against magical release. Damn it. Maybe the bandit you took out would have the key? If not you’d have to see if one of the blacksmiths back at Home could either pick the lock or fashion a key for it.

“Y-Y-You....k-know?” another monster asked quietly, barely a whisper.

With a triumphant noise you hoisted up the keys with a jangle, before looking back at the monsters.

“Everyone should know where Home is...but where are my manners. I’m Lionheart,” you introduced with a smile. There was soft gasps and you unlocked the back to the caravan. The bird monster hopped closer to the entrance, awe in their face. They had a striped tunic over their form, and they bounced slightly in spot.

“My name is Tarvage!” they chirped, “Can’t believe I got to meet the Lionheart! Can’t believe it!”

You smiled warmly at the small monster child, “It’s an honor to meet you Tarvage. Now! Let’s get you all Home. Now, we can do this two ways,” you shifted your gaze over the other monsters, “We can travel through the woods back to Home. Or I can drive the caravan to Home with you in the back. Either way comes with its own risks and benefits.”

It didn’t take long for them to agree that they’d rather stay in the caravan and let you drive it back towards Home. That way there was one less caravan for humanity to use to capture monsters.

Of course, you had to continually cast a spell on the way back to cover the tracks you were making to prevent anyone from tracking. That alone drained your magic heavily, on top of being already tired from your trek out of the city to forage. By the time you arrived back at the city, you were sure your magic levels were nearly void from the constant drain.

When you arrived back at the city, you saw a whirl of purple fabric as Toriel rushed forth to meet the caravan.

“There’s children,” you warned softly, and her mouth opened in disbelieving shock. Then her brow furrowed in anger as she gave the offending caravan a glare.

“They are getting more and more cruel. Aren’t they?” Toriel grumbled before her features smoothed out once again. “Thank you once again.”

“No thanks needed. I’m going to go and rest...unless you need some help with healing or anything?” you asked slipping down from the drivers bench. Toriel shook her head and took a step away before pausing.

“Oh! Before you go-“ she stopped as she saw a small child monster that looked like it was barely out of the egg climb from the caravan along with the others. She gasped before moving towards the child, oozing good and caring motherly intent towards the child. You watched the scene with a warm feeling. Monsters had so much caring and kindness in them...yet they were met with such brutality and hatred.

Even the tiny part of you that was curious about what she had wanted to tell you faded as Toriel walked away with the child. You’d catch up with her later to ask her what she had wanted to say. If it was of life-threatening importance, she wouldn’t have let herself get distracted.

As it was, you were tired and Toriel had to attend to those who needed her caring intent and healing powers.

With a gentle sigh, you turned and headed towards your house. It wasn’t quite a home yet, there were walls and furniture, but it wasn’t really...yours. It probably would take a long while before you would be able to call this place your home, and part of you was afraid that that day might never come. It had taken a long time for you to consider your farmstead to be your home. Now...it was gone.

At least it was a place to rest your head at night. Where you were safe from humans for the time being.

Monsters waved at you as you wandered along the city, taking in the new sights and smells of a village slowly filling with new people. There seemed to be a surplus of new monsters in the city now, and you had only left a few days ago. Was word getting out about Home that fast? It worried you a bit that the human population would soon catch wind of it and be able to figure it out.

Still, for now it was safe.

When you finally arrived to the house, you were relieved. You couldn’t think of a future where you’d ever be used to being around so many people for so long. It was exhausting work having to talk to people.

However, before you could even open the door, it was thrown open and a large monster pulled you into a bone crushing hug. Nindree crowed happily before yanking you into the house and immediately over towards the kitchen. You could barely keep up with everything she was gushing about, your mind still not over being startled that someone had been inside your house.

Of course, now it wasn’t just your house. It was her house too.

“You’re just in time, Grillbz is making dinner,” Nindree explained before yanking out a chair at the table and shoving you down onto it.

Your SOUL leapt happily you saw Grillby standing at the fireplace in simple clothes. You’d never seen him in anything less than chainmail, and it was...honestly a sight to see. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and you stared at the exposed flames wondering how they were able to form human-esque forearms when they were live flickering flames. Such a solid form for something so...wild.

You were awed, quite frankly.

“How’ve you been?” Nindree asked sitting down next to you, placing down two small loaves of bread on the table. One in front of you, and one in front of herself.

“Busy,” you said with a soft huff before tearing a chunk of the bread off and popping it in your mouth. You began to explain the more in depth but oddly summarized events since you had last seen them. It had felt like you hadn’t seen them in forever. Nindree kept up a majority of the conversation with small grunts or hums of approval or disapproval from Grillby as needed. Which wasn’t weird...per se. However, he had gotten a lot more talkative around you so you found his silence now slightly upsetting. Maybe he had a change of heart about your confession?

You weren’t going to assume anything, however. Couldn’t let yourself start doing that again or you’d spiral downwards in a pit of despair and self-hatred.

“Are you okay, Grillby?” you asked after the three of you had finished eating dinner.

He shrugged.

“He’s been better,” Nindree answered pouring some more stew into her bowl. “Nothing to complain about really.”

He nodded in agreement.

You frowned, and glanced between the two of them. “Why did you answer for him?”

The two of them exchanged a look before Grillby tilted his head up and you saw a dark line across his throat. You gasped immediately. The strip looked like charcoal and it unsettled you immensely.

“You told _me_ not to get into trouble,” you snapped at him, standing up and moved closer. It was probably too late for any monster healing to fix it. Why hadn’t he eaten a monster candy or something right after? You reached towards the wound but stopped a few inches away from it. Gods damn it! You placed your hands on your hips.

“What happened?” you demanded. “Does it hurt to talk or are you unable? You can still speak your language right?”

Grillby patted your shoulder gently, but Nindree answered for him. “When we were heading back here from the old capital, we were ambushed. A Mage caught him on the neck with an ice spell cold enough it extinguished his flames. He still speaks his language, but it really hurts him to speak yours because of where his voice comes from when he does. Don’t let him tell you otherwise though, it hurts him all the time.”

You frowned at her and then turned your attention back towards Grillby. Nindree’s hand shot past you and poked the strip of charcoal flesh and Grillby snarled at her and grabbed her hand. His flames flashed deep red for a moment before returning to normal. It startled you enough that you jumped slightly, and Grillby’s gaze dropped to the table and he released Nindree’s hand.

“Don’t snap at me!” Nindree snapped, “You’re the DAMN idiot who got hurt! I’d kick your ass if you weren’t already hurt. Stars above! I keep telling you to go see Toriel or another healer to see if they can help you but NOOOOOO. You gotta be a-”

Grillby interrupted her by jabbing a finger towards her and snarling something in his language that you could barely understand. Whatever he said wasn’t very nicely worded, and Nindree responded in another language that you didn’t know at all. The two of them went back and forth, the conversation snapping back and forth in different languages that you couldn’t understand.

Nindree slammed her hands on the table causing the dishes to bounce and drinks to spill. She snarled something and his eyes narrowed and he responded coldly. You were honestly ready to intervene when they fell silent. There was anger twisting in the air but also an underlayer of caring in their intent.

Nindree suddenly sat down with a huff and looked towards the fire. They didn’t speak again for a while, and you waited until the anger faded in the air.

“You haven’t been to a Healer?” you asked, now that there wasn’t any risk of getting in between two angry monsters. He shook his head, looking sheepishly down at the table. He began to clean up the mess Nindree had caused but you grabbed his arms and scowled at him. “You get on my ass about going to healers but you won’t go see one yourself?”

A shake of his head.

“I’m not translating for you, anymore,” Nindree stuck her forked tongue out at Grillby and turned away again. Her fins were pulled tightly against her head in anger. “You can suffer in silence, punk.”

An exasperated glare from Grillby. He dragged a hand down his face and looked at the ceiling as if he could find the answers written there. You heard the crackle as he spoke to Nindree, but she shifted further away from him glaring now at the fireplace.

“Why won’t you see one?” you demanded, trying to draw his attention away from paying attention to Nindree ignoring him. A few sparks fluttered from his head in aggravation and he gestured in a vague way. You rubbed at your forehead and cursed quietly. “Can I at least attempt to heal you so you don’t feel any more pain? I want to at least try...”

There was clear hesitation in his face as he stared down at you before a soft sigh fell from his lips, along with sparks, and then he nodded.

You shifted closer and reached towards his neck. However, your fingers hesitated a few inches away agaom. Would you hurt him instead of heal? No. You _knew_ you couldn’t hurt him without the intention to do so. A stray arrow wouldn’t hurt nor kill a monster unless the one who had fired the arrow had intended it to do so. What if you couldn’t heal him either? What if he _wasn’t_ actually feeling any pain and just didn’t want to have to talk to people and you were going against his wishes?

Grillby lifted his hand and gently touched your wrist, guiding your fingers closer. He winced and his flames flared red when your fingers came into contact with his skin, but you made sure to breathe as much comforting intent into your touch. His eyes fluttered closed, but his flames remained dark red.

Once you were sure that the touch wasn’t hurting him anymore, you switched to healing intent and pooled your magic into the wound.

The wound ignited suddenly as the last remnants of your magic escaped into the wounded flesh. Your vision swam and Grillby reached towards you as you swayed. You reached out to grab his arms to stabilize yourself but then your vision blinked out.

You were getting sick and tired of passing out due to magic loss or injury. However, this time when you woke up you felt better than ever. It was strange but you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Unfortunately, Toriel berated you once she figured out that you had overused your magic and hadn’t come to the Healers for help. You immediately threw Grillby under the caravan for not going to a healer for his neck. She proceeded to scold him throuoghly to your and Nindree’s smug amusement. He looked properly chastised and made a promise to get it looked at properly. After all, you weren’t exactly a skilled healer like she or the other healers were.

Then when she had noticed your smug attitude, she had declared you on ‘bed-rest’ for the next week. Which you didn’t follow at all.

Well, you did, if she was around.

If not, you’d sneak out to do whatever it is you were wanting to do that day. Even now you weren’t able to just sit alone with your thoughts, even if they were better now-a-days than they were back when you were living alone.

The difference being in the city was that you could be easily distracted by other people instead of needing to find one hundred and one things to do. Even then, you still managed to find a lot of different activities to complete each day. Helping monsters with tasks about the city, avoiding Toriel like the plague or else you’d be back in your room, hanging out with Nindree or Grillby when they were free from guard duties.

Grillby’s injury had been reignited, which was almost an impossible feat. There were no other cases of elementals, that you knew of, having pieces of their flames reignited after they burnt out. Perhaps there had been, back in the day when Monsters and Humans got along with each other, but those days were long since past.

You scanned over the city below idly, seeing the tiny monsters flit about along the streets as they reunited with family and friends. You saw a couple of elementals that you didn’t recognized. Perhaps that was Grillby’s sister and mate? Was his sisters mate an elemental? You hadn’t asked, and you didn’t want to assume. The other elemental could be anyone.

“...what are you doing?” Grillby’s voice startled you out of your thoughts quickly. He was dressed in his armor once again, with a new cape. The one that he had wrapped your wound in had been soaked through with blood and torn to better wrap your shoulder.

“Resting,” you replied with a smile, “What are you doing?”

He walked closer to you before sitting down next to you one the rock. “...could sense you.”

Even with the wound reignited he wasn’t able to talk as much as he once had been able to. You had tried to tell him to just speak his own language, you’d learn faster like that. However, he was stubborn and didn’t want you to not be able to understand him. Even if it didn’t hurt him, it clearly took more effort to be able to speak now than it used to.

“What do you mean? Sense?” you frowned.

“...like a SOULlink...” he reached up and ran his fingers over where the wound had been. “...your magic.”

It took you a moment before your eyes widened. “Wait...that’s purely my magic? I thought I reignited your own flames?”

A shake of the head, followed by a shrug. Translation: It’s not, but I don’t know why.

You chewed your lip in thought, staring deeply at his neck. You didn’t feel the energy drain that you normally would feel when you were using magic. So, why then, could you be feeding constant magic to Grillby? It didn’t make any sense. Perhaps it would go away and the lingering magic he could feel was purely because you had used so much of your remaining magic to heal him?

“That’s...strange,” you finally hummed, “I’d turn off the ‘sense’ if I could, I could see that becoming bothersome quickly.”

He shook his head, “...don’t mind.”

“Really?”

A nod.

You smiled at him, warmly this time. “Like to know where I am at all times?” you teased, and he gave you a look. “Or is it that you like to know that I’m alive?”

A pause, and then he nodded. “...you find trouble.”

“I only have _found_ trouble once. The other times it’s found me,” you argued without heat. This was a common thing the two of you bickered about. However, you knew that he was just worried because you were more likely to get into trouble than any of them. Which...honestly, was incredibly strange considering the current climate of the world.

The two of you lapsed into silence, watching the world below you starting to wind down into evening. It was getting darker and colder, but you were sitting next to Grillby so you didn’t find yourself feeling the effects of night settle in. You sighed. If humans and monsters suddenly made peace...would this be what it felt like every day for you? Just...calm and peaceful? You didn’t have to worry about having enough food for winter, nor about keeping your house from falling apart during wind or rain storms. Everything was fitting into place so nicely you were worried about what would happen if it crumbled.

Thankfully, that worry was easily ignored.

“...you seem more relaxed.”

You glanced over at him, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“...than before.”

Oh.

“Yeah. I...just think I’ve finally come to terms with my life? I like where I am and who I am, I’ve got great friends who care about me. I also actually pay attention to my SOUL now,” you chuckled lightly, peering over at him. There was a strange shift to his flames that you hadn’t seen before. It settled fairly quickly, and you found yourself wanting to touch his flames. He seemed to brighten and tinge blue when he noticed you staring at him, and his flames grew a bit more erratic.

“Grillby...how do you work?” you blurted out

The question seemed to confuse him, as he just stared at you for the longest time. Finally he tilted his head slightly, “...guarding the king?”

“Ah...no, I meant body wise. You’re not a human, but you’re not exactly a monster either. Are you?” you asked, “Because...at least, from what I was taught at the Citadel, elementals aren’t technically a ‘Monster’ in the same sense. Is that true?”

A longer pause, and then he took off his gauntlet and held out his hand. You raised your eyebrows, and when you didn’t do anything, he reached out and took your hand gently in his. You could feel that same rough but still oddly pliable skin beneath your fingers. The utter warmth that radiated from him.

“...too long to explain,” he murmured, “...but...magic at core....surrounded by...rock.”

Your eyes widened, and your eyes dropped to his hand, you squeezed it gently, it was hard but still soft. “So, this isn’t your skin?”

“...it is...but...hard to explain,” he said, squeezing your hand back. “...if cooled...we can dust...loose parts of ourselves.”

“Like...cutting off a finger?” you asked, and he nodded. You examined his hand closer, squinting slightly against the bright light. He allowed you to run your hands over his skin to feel the intricacies of his skin compared to your own. You remembered Sans doing this exact same thing to both Grillby and yourself, the childish wonder on his little skull.

“...my father lost his pinky...blacksmith accident,” Grillby said after a moment, wiggling his own pinky finger.

You asked him a plethora of other questions, most of which he reversed the question back at you when he didn’t have an answer. ‘Why do you have five fingers?’ ‘...why do you?’ Soon, you had stopped examining his hand as you became more focused on trading questions back and forth about how each of you were made up.

“How do I feel to you?” you finally asked, looking up at him to meet his gaze.

“...cold,” he said, meeting your gaze for a moment before looking down at your conjoined hands. “...in a good way.”

You let out a soft laugh, “I thought you didn’t like the cold.”

He made a humming noise and then amended his statement, “then...soothing...how do I feel?”

“Hot,” you replied easily with a grin, and he gave you a smug look. For a moment you met his look with confusion, but then it clicked. You let out a laugh and felt your face flush, “You set me up! You know what I meant.”

“...temperature wise.”

“Yes!”

“...thought you loved....staring at fire,” he teased, and your face grew even more flushed and you lightly shoved him.

“I was delirious with poisoning!” you lied through your teeth, blushing deeply. He chuckled, the sound warm and made you giggle along with him. He gave you that bright ‘toothy’ smile of his that you enjoyed so much. “But...I will admit that you are quite soothing to be around as well.”

His flames rose higher and flushed blue. Embarrassed by the casual flirt you threw his way. You smiled at him, before turning your gaze back out to the city. During your conversation, night had fallen and torches lit up the city below as monsters finished up their duties outside before heading in for the night.

“...beautiful.”

“It is, isn’t it?” you replied with a gentle smile. “I never thought...I’d be able to see this. I mean, even when I was younger I never really got to see the city. Just the Citadel. There was less focus on getting to know your fellow Mages and more about getting as powerful as you could to properly serve the King. I just...I’m glad I got to know Nindree, Asgore, Toriel...and you.”

“...this is your home now,” his voice was whisper light, “...I’m proud to call...you friend.”

You looked over at him shyly, a strange feeling to be shy in front of someone you’ve known for so long. The feeling in your chest...the one you’d been feeling since you had met him, you realized, was flourishing sitting this close to him. If you were being honest, you hadn’t really made the connection until now. It was stupid of you not to, but you couldn’t fault yourself truly. You’d never been taught what a SOULmate could feel like.

But you were afraid that it wasn’t that, and that you were reading too much into it.

However, you could just...admit how you felt around him. Let the pieces fall where they may.

You leaned against his side ever so lightly, “Grillby, I-“

“There you are!” a high-pitched, nasally voice cut you off and you jumped slightly. Grillby’s flames flared slightly in surprise and the two of you turned to see a small rabbit monster bouncing on the balls of its feet. “The King has requested your presence, Sir Grillby! I will tell him you’re just finishing canoodling with the human and then you’ll be right there!”

The monster took off before Grillby could get a word in edge wise. You glowered after the monster.

“Canoodling?” you blurted out, “What-“

Grillby sighed softly and then lifted your conjoined hands. You felt your face flush. “Sorry, I-“

“...no apologies,” he interrupted before placing a kiss to your knuckles. “...I’ll see you at home.”

He started to walk away, and in your flustered state you blurted out, “Thank you for those letters.” When Grillby turned to look at you, you dropped your gaze slightly, “I might not know how to understand you verbally all the way, but...I really like how you put your thoughts down onto paper.”

He seemed to flush at that, and you smiled. It faded slightly when his form disappeared around a rock cropping.

Gods, would you always procrastinate telling him things?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at 200 kudos and 100 comments :DDDDDD WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Thank you guys so much for all the support and comments and everything *smooches*
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/) if any of you wanna chat


	14. Canoodle

Nindree got up from the breakfast table to answer a quick knock on the door. She spoke quietly to whoever was on the other side before closing the door and looking back over at you and Grillby. “King Riagol has summoned us.”

“I’ll clean up,” you offered, gesturing towards the door with a vague wave. “You guys get going.”

“All of us,” Nindree clarified.

You frowned slightly, and glanced over at Grillby as if he knew why the King would summon you. He gave a light shrug and then patted your hand lightly. With a soft sigh, you picked up your plate and Nindree’s abandoned one.

Any other time that you were ‘summoned’, normally Grillby or Nindree would be sent to fetch you. It was never a ‘summon’ either. It was just to ask if you wanted to have tea with him and Prince Asgore. Which you always accepted.

Both Nindree and Grillby seemed to be a bit confused as to why you were summoned as well. Nindree teased it was because you had been slacking with your duties, to which you shot back that you ‘slacking’ was forced bed rest by Toriel. Grillby suggested that maybe it was to reward you for all you had done in the past year since they had left. You said that that it was better not to speculate and to just get there to figure out why you were really summoned.

It took a while to get to the King’s official place of residence, and the entire way there Nindree was trying to get a rise out of Grillby and failing miserably. The longer you spent with them, the more you realized just how stupid it was to assume they were SOULmates. They were more akin to siblings than they were to partners. With Nindree being the younger sibling constantly pestering and prodding to get a reaction from their older sibling.

The three of you entered the typical room but it was empty. You frowned slightly, and Grillby placed a hand on the small of your back and guided you towards one of the various other doors entering into the tea room. Your frown deepened. You’d never been in any of these other rooms before. Subconciously, you leaned slightly into Grillby’s touch, finding comfort it in. Nindree glanced back, her eyes flicking down to take in the contact before she grinned and then knocked on the door.

It opened and Nindree strode in, followed by Grillby. You hestitated for a moment, taking a deep breath and heading in. You didn’t think you were in trouble...but you never knew.

Inside the room, there was a large round table with no chairs. Atop it was a map of the Monster Kingdom and Human Kingdom, and the border. A few markers were placed near the mountain, and scattered through the two kingdoms. Was...this a war meeting? A chill ran through you and you faltered by the door.

King Riagol was standing across the table with Prince Asgore, Toriel, and Nindree to his right. Gaster, Gerson, and Grillby were standing to his left.

“Come in, Lionheart,” Riagol called waving with a large paw towards the table.

With only a moment of uncertainty, you walked over to the table and stood between Grillby and Nindree. Completing the circle. Your eyes searched the various monsters faces to see if you could glean anything from them. However, you found no such information behind their eyes. Gerson leaned around Grillby and gave you a toothy grin.

“Hey kiddo!” he beamed, “Lookit you, raising through the ranks.”

You gave him a withered look, “I have no idea why I’m here, Gerson...and why are you here?”

“Wahaha! I’m the old Captain o’the Guard! Didn’t I tell you? Hm....must’ve slipped my mind. Ol’Riagol here needs my keen sense of pacing for the upcoming years,” he explained with a cackle. “As for you? Well, I’m sure you’ll learn soon enough!”

“Helpful,” you mutter with a half-hearted glare.

Riagol lifted a hand and the rest of your retort died in your throat. “Gerson is right. The tension between Humanity and Monster Kind is growing rapidly. There has been no official declaration of war, and I have sent a message to the human King to ask for a parley to discuss the potential for a peace treaty between our two species. However, until I get a confirmation or a refusal, I wish to increase the protection for my people.”

He gestured towards the markers near the mountain, “The word is reaching across the kingdom about Home. More and more monsters are showing up to seek the safety of the new capital. However, I am afraid for my people...our people. The roads are becoming more and more dangerous. Bandits are kidnapping monster from deep within our kingdom and bringing them to the Mage Citadel. There have been no official numbers, but Gerson has informed me that it’s at least a dozen monsters a day at this point.”

A _dozen_ monsters a day.

You thought back to the most recent rescue you did.

Anger bubbled in your stomach and you crossed your arms and glared at the table.

“We don’t have the numbers for patrols of the roads, unfortunately,” Nindree spoke up, leaning against the table. “However, if we block the roads coming from the Human Kingdom to the Monster Kingdom, it should theoretically decrease the number of caravans that these monster snatchers can get through. We could also set up ambush points in more of the frequented areas from Gerson’s reports.”

The King nodded, “The only thing is, we cannot block all roads, or humanity could use it against us during peace talks.”

“...side roads,” Grillby suggested, pointing at a few small roads on the map. “...more likely to have...bandits sneaking through.”

“I’ll send some terraforming monsters to deal with these smaller roads, make them inaccessible by cart or horse,” King Riagol nodded picking up some markers from the sides of the table and placing them across the smaller side roads. The larger main roads would remain open, but have heavier security guarding them.

They went into it in more depth, everyone else giving opinions on the smartest and safest strategies to employ. You listened intently to their discussion, still not sure why you were there but glad that you were. If they wanted your input they would’ve asked you, that you were sure of.

Eventually, the topic of blockades, ambushes, and other such things ended with Grillby leaving the room with a bow to give the orders to the correct people. Riagol waited until he was gone before turning his attention towards you. You tensed slightly, clasping your hands together behind your back. You were comfortable around him when the two of you were drinking tea and talking about personal things, but this...this was the King addressing you. Not Riagol, your, dare you think it, friend.

He said your name, your real name, and your hands clenched together even tighter. You squashed down all feelings, this was fine.

“I have developed a plan with Gerson earlier, but for it to work; we will need _your_ cooperation. I know that you aren’t one of my subjects, and you volunteer your help as you see fit...but I wish to ask something big of you,” he stated, placing his hands on the table and leaning forwards. His eyes warm and pleading. “There are small pockets of monsters within the human territory. I need someone to go in and collect them, bring them back to my kingdom...to safety. Gerson has volunteered to do this alone, but I fear that if he goes alone then he will perish. Regardless of his skills.”

Gerson placed a hand on your shoulder, his normal knowing smirk on his face faded into a grim line. “I know ya ain’t keen about the human kingdom, kiddo, but we have a better shot if yer with me.”

You glanced between the two of them, mouth falling slack. You...hadn’t been to the human kingdom since you had rescued Vivaldi. There was an icy fear creeping into your veins as you waited for them to say anything...anything else...but they didn’t. They simply watched your face as you glanced at the other monsters in the room. Toriel was staring at Riagol with thinly veiled surprise and frustration. Gaster was staring at you blankly, as if your answer didn’t matter truly. Nindree was looking at you expectantly.

“...do you know...where?” you asked, wincing at how weak your voice sounded.

“A few of them. They will have more information about where other groups would be. Your task would be to drive the caravan throughout the human kingdom, and Gerson will speak with the various monsters you come across. Either sending them on their way back to the monster capital, or stealing them within the caravan to travel that way,” Riagol answered, choosing his words carefully as he studied your face. “I understand how big of an ask this is. Treason against your own people-“

“They aren’t my people,” you interrupted sharply, and Riagol dipped his head.

“I apologize...your...kind then?” he said, and you gave a small nod. You couldn’t refute that. “You will be put at huge risk. More dangerous than rescuing people in monster territory. I hate to ask this of you.”

“But you have to,” you murmured, dropping your gaze to the table. “It would be a suicide mission for Gerson if he went alone...and even with me it is still incredible dangerous.”

Nindree placed a hand on your other shoulder, squeezing it. “We don’t have much knowledge about what is going on in the human kingdom, but if anyone can do it. You can.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” you grumbled softly, before taking a deep breath.

You really, really, shouldn’t accept it. If they caught you? You’d never been tortured before...and you didn’t know how long you’d be able to hold out before you spilt everything. Would... _he_ manipulate your mind again? Make you fight against those you loved and cared about? What would happen to Gerson?

The more you thought of it, the harder your heart beat inside your chest. You felt your breath becoming thin, and you immediately shifted your focus on the two large hands resting on your shoulders. One with four stubby fingers, and the other with four webbed fingers.

What would happen if you didn’t...all those monsters in the human kingdom would be slaughtered if a war broke out. Gods, even if war didn’t break out...as long as no peace treaty was signed, they’d be killed. Experimented on. Murdered.

You raised your gaze after an excruciatingly long time.

“I’ll go.”

Relief was palpable from the King and he dropped his head slightly, releasing a heavy breath. “Thank you...I will never be able to repay your kindness that you’ve shown towards my people.”

“They’re my people too,” you announced, straightening up. “When I get back...I’ll pledge myself fully to you.”

Surprise flickered over all the faces of the monsters. Riagol’s face lit up with the most surprise, and he looked over to Nindree...who nodded softly. Riagol’s gaze dropped back to your face and then it lit up with a grand smile. “I would be honored.”

You and Gerson were dismissed shortly after that to prepare to leave. Apparently, you were leaving as soon as possible, which was tomorrow at dawn. Gerson led the way back down to the market, and gestured for you to follow him into his caravan. You did so stiffly, climbing in after him and sitting on the familiar stool heavily. You hadn’t seen him in the longest time, and you felt like so much had happened since you had. So, you filled him in instantly, ignoring the impending mission resolutely. You’d get to that eventually, you knew...but for now you told him everything else.

“Lot ta take in,” Gerson said with his normal knowing smirk on his face as he prepared a kettle of tea for the two of you. You accepted a small biscuit with a tiny smile.

“Yeah...”

“Wahaha...Nindree has really matured over the years! Imagine! Her not instantly killing ya?” Gerson said, shooting you a wink, “Ya must’ve really wormed yer way into her SOUL for her not ta.”

“She said she couldn’t judge a child on their actions...and I later told her about how the Grandmaster had manipulated my mind. She’s even more understanding now,” you explained before taking a bite of the biscuit. To your surprise it didn’t melt away immediately, and you looked over at him in surprise.

“Might’a picked up some human food for ya,” he said with a wink. You smiled and happily ate some more.

“Thanks, Ger,” you beamed.

He patted your shoulder, and gave you a fond smile. “Anything for a friend.”

Gerson sat down on the other stool, keeping an eye on the kettle. He reached over and placed a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks for doing this.”

“I haven’t even done it yet,” you murmured, and reached over and placed your hand on his shoulder as well and matched the pressure he squeezed. Neither of you said anything else as the water boiled in the kettle. Just stared at the small fire pit within the caravan.

Gods. You were about to go on a suicide mission with one of your oldest friends. Hopefully it wasn’t truly a suicide mission. Hopefully, you’d get all the monsters heading back to safety, and get back home to safety as well. Back to the warm confines of your home...back to Grillby. You felt your SOUL pulse sadly...you might never see him again after today. You might never return. You might get caught...or something might happen while you were gone.

Gerson pulled the kettle off the fire and started pouring the hot water into cups.

“I have feelings for Grillby,” you blurted out, louder than you had meant to.

The hot water splashed out of one of the cups and Gerson leapt deftly away from the water before it splashed on him. For a moment, he just stared at the spilled water, but then he looked over at you. “Gosh! I am an old monster! You shouldn’t just blurt out when I’m not expecting it!” he said, lowering the kettle down to the counter. “This old SOUL can’t take that fright, ya know?”

“Sorry,” you said sheepishly, turning and rummaging through his things before producing a piece of monster candy and offering it to him. He shook his head.

“Didn’t get no burns, bucko,” he waved a hand before handing you a cup. “Now...what is this about feeling Grillby?”

Your face felt hot, “Feeling _s for_ Grillby.”

Gerson stroked his beard lightly humming, “I know.”

“What?” you blurted out, face practically burning with embarrassment. “What do you mean you know?”

“It is clear to any monster that you two have feelings for each other,” Gerson said bluntly, and you recoiled in surprise. What? For...each other? Grillby liked you back? Since when? You barely have accepted your feelings yourself.

“He likes me?” you blurted out. Oh Gods, why did you have to say anything? It was getting warm in the caravan and you wanted to bolt out the door...but at the same time, you leaned closer to Gerson like a school girl figuring out that her crush liked her back. Gods. This was what that was, wasn’t it? You were just a silly little school girl. Damnit!

Gerson watched you for a moment before his face twisted into genuine surprise. “Stars, kiddo, did you not know?”

You shook your head furiously.

“Wahaha!” Gerson chortled, throwing his head back and slapping his knee, “That boy! Moving in together, sending off romantic intent if you even hear the other, and yet he hasn’t got the SOUL to admit his stars-damned feelings for you? He moves slower than me and I’m a tortoise! Wahahaha!! Have you told him? Cus at this rate? You’re gunna be a wrinkly old lady like me before he says anything.”

“No...”

Gerson chortled a bit more, before blowing on his tea lightly and taking a sip. Then his eyes shifted back over to you with a smirk, “Better tell ‘im before you head out then. We’re gunna be gone a lonnnnggg time. If he accepts yer feelings then yer’ll have something ta look forward to when ya get home, if he rejects em? Which if he does I’ll beat him, cus stars know he likes ya back. Then ya got a long time to get over the embarrassment.”

You rubbed at your face with one hand, as if that would scrub away your current embarrassment. Why were you even discussing this with Gerson? He was an old monster who made it clear that he thought romance was gross and overbearing. But then again, Gerson had always given you advice when you most needed it. It seemed he always sensed when you were suffering from inner turmoil and appeared to give you advice and tea. Less so lately, but you had a feeling that it was harder for him to get around safely than it was even in the past year.

Still, you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

“That’s comforting,” you said drily, looking down at the steaming tea in your hands. “I just...don’t know how to y’know, admit them? I’ve never...had...feelings for someone before...”

Gerson paused, tea cup halfway to his mouth. “Never?” he looked at you in surprise, “Typically kids are developing crushes left, right, and center! Wahaha, even I had a dalliance or two when I was younger, and y’know my opinion about romance.”

“I had a crush,” you shot back quickly, “When I was younger but it wasn’t anything like...this?”

His grin faded into understanding. He turned slightly towards you and reached over, placing his large hand on your shoulder. “Well, ya just go up to him and ya tell him that ya feel for him more than ya feel for a friend. I’m sure the big ball o’flame will know what’cha mean,” he said, voice full of warmth and comfort. “If he doesn’t, just give em a big ol’smooch and watch his flames hit the ceiling.”

You slowly nodded, and he gave your shoulder a squeeze before taking a deep drink of his tea. “Ah...young love. I remember when Riagol fell for his wife. They were so stinking cute. Ugh....they’re affection isn’t as gross as Prince Asgore and Toriel. Caught them nuzzling earlier...” he shook his head with a well meaning grin on his face. “Oh! Speaking of Toriel...I will have ta pick up some healing items from her before we head out. I’ll go after I finish my tea. Gotta get some other items too, we’ll have ta get some human food for ya so ya don’t wither away. Magic food is good n’all but won’t sustain ya long term.”

That was the thing you liked about Gerson. He said things as if everything was so simple...and you supposed when you lived as long as Gerson, you stopped getting hung up on things. What once seemed so difficult would seem easy. You wished you could put as much faith in your decisions as Gerson did.

If you hadn’t accidentally befriended him, where would you be?

Taking his advice over the years had proven to be the best thing you could’ve ever done. You had come to learn that Gerson only gave advice when he knew that it would be the best course of action...or it was asked for. Even when he did give advice, it was always ‘maybe you could...’ never ‘you should do’. It was always up to you whether you took it or not.

You finished your tea and handed the cup back to Gerson. “Thanks for the company and advice, Ger. Always.”

“No problem! I’ll be at your house just before dawn! Don’t dawdle or I’ll be cross!” he said, shaking a fist at you. You grinned.

“You’re going to break down the door?” you teased as you opened the door to the caravan. He nodded solemnly before his face broke into a grin.

“I’ll get Nindree ta pour cold water over yer bed ta wake ya up.”

You sent him a fake shocked look but then headed down the steps. “See you bright and early,” you called, closing the door and turning to look over the city. It was your last day...and you immediately headed back for home. Nindree was still with the King, and you felt that she’d be there for a lot longer. You’d go and find Grillby...but you wanted to mull over whether you’d tell him before or after your mission.

You also had to pack.

Which...you really should’ve realized would take up your entire thought the moment you got inside your house. You didn’t like to dwell on difficult thoughts...and it was easier to _do_ rather than think. So, you flitted about the house, collecting items you’d need on your journey. Food, clothing, magic, healing items. All shoved into a chest. Then taken out, reorganized and placed back in. You chosen dresses rather than trousers, knowing that humans would be less likely to stop a lone travelling woman in a dress versus one in trousers. Of course...that’d make you a bigger target for bandits...but you could handle bandits. Official soldiers or guards? That was another matter. No one would miss bandits.

Grillby didn’t come home until after you had fallen asleep. When you had awoken, Nindree was just leaving and gave you a big hug, noogy, and gifted you a new cloak that was thickly lined with fur. To keep you warm during the winter travel or as she said “To make sure your freaking arms don’t fall off! I heard that happens to humans who get cold!!! Don’t lose any fingers on me!!!!!!!!!!!!”You hugged her back tightly, and told her that she better stay safe, and she had retorted that that was _her_ line before she left the house.

You were manoeuvring the chest out of your room when you heard Grillby waking in his room.

“Good morning!” you called out from the living room as you tucked the new cloak into the chest.

A moment passed and then you heard the gentle crackling of fire behind you as Grillby emerged from his room. You felt your heart beat faster, and you glanced back over your shoulder at him. He was leaning against the doorframe, barely dressed. You flushed even more, and averted your gaze. You normally weren’t up this early anymore, so he probably was curious that you had woken before him but why wasn’t he wearing a shirt?!

“...where?” he demanded, walking closer and lightly kicking the chest with his foot.

“Human kingdom,” you explained, feeling your face still flushed as you could see his own chest exposed. Again, why wasn’t he wearing a shirt? A tunic? Anything? You began to wonder if he slept without any clothing on. Gods. Your face burned even more and you turned even more away from him.

The crackling whoosh startled you and you looked up sharply to see Grillby staring at you with wide eyes. You felt...a strange fear. It didn’t come from you. It...came from Grillby? Oh...had...no one informed him? Did he not know? You hesitated before emitting a calming sensation. He took a step closer to you, and then stopped, hands slightly extended as if he was reaching towards you.

“King Riagol asked me to go into the human kingdom with Gerson to assist the monsters there in getting to safety, I’m leaving today” you quickly clarified, “I don’t know when I’ll be back, unfortunately...”

Another whoosh, a calmer one and the tension faded from his form slowly. You felt the sensation of fear fade, replaced by a slight sense of worry.

“I’ll be okay,” you promised, turning around to face him fully. For a moment he said and did nothing but then he turned on his heel and re-entered his room. You pressed your lips together and called after him, “Grillby?”

The door closed, and then quiet rummaging. A moment later, he remerged, a tunic pulled over his head, and he was staring at his hand. “...got you...a gift...wanted to give it...but didn’t know...when.”

He extended it towards you.

A small dagger in a deep red leather sheath. Golden metal twisted across the cover like fire. You gently took it from his grasp, feeling the simple hilt in your grasp. It was a decent sized dagger in your own hand, and you pulled it from the sheath. A small word was etched into the blade near the cross guard.

You screwed up your face as you peered at it and then you looked up at him. “Protection?”

He nodded, “...for if your magic...depletes.”

You felt a swell of affection. That was one of your biggest fears during fights. Being unable to protect yourself if your magic depleted. You’d almost done that when you rescued Vivaldi...and if the Mage had managed to get your staff away from you, you wouldn’t have survived.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“I’ll miss you,” he whispered back in his own language, strangely even softer than his normal voice. You glanced up at him shyly.

“I-I...didn’t get you anything. I should’ve...maybe something to muffle Nindree’s snoring,” you said, throwing in some humor to dull the nervousness that suddenly consumed you. He reached up and touched where his injury had been.

“...I have your magic...all the gift I need,” he said, a gentle smile gracing his features.

You felt your cheeks head once again, and you opened your mouth. “Grillby...I-“

“Let’s go, Lionheart! Day’s bout to break!” Gerson announced loudly on the other side of the door, accompanied by a sharp rapping on the door. Gods damn it all! Gerson with his lousy timing had interrupted you! Why did this keep happening to you! Grillby shot an irritated look at the door, and opened his mouth to say something. You weren’t going to let this interruption destroy your resolve. You grabbed the front of his tunic and yanked on it. Thankfully, he hadn’t been expecting it and you were able to pull him down towards you.

You placed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I’ll miss you too.”

His fire shot up, nearly touching the roof. The depths of his flames became blue in a blush as he stared at you in shock.

“Kiddo! Don’t make me bust down the door!” Gerson called again.

You looked at the door and then at Grillby. He hadn’t moved and suddenly you were worried that he didn’t reciprocate your feelings like Gerson had said and you’d just kissed him, again like Gerson said. Oh Gods why did you listen to that old tortoises’ advice?! You gave him a strained smile and hoisted your chest up. He still didn’t move as you yanked open the door and gave Gerson a dark look. You shoved the chest at him and he just cackled.

“Yer face is as red as a tomato!” he cackled his odd laugh as he turned to put the chest into the caravan.

A warm hand took hold of your hand and you were yanked back into the house. Grillby closed the door, flames still tall and blushing madly. He stared at you for a moment, before leaning down. He hesitated a moment before pressing his lips to yours. It was such a soft kiss, and while his lips were firmer than a human’s they were warm and gentle. You could get lost in a kiss like this. Your SOUL swelled happily, and you felt his own SOUL react immediately to yours. It was a strange feeling, but you felt a sudden acceptance and his SOUL felt so much stronger to you.

You could feel his joy and elation and relief. You could sense the underlying worry and stress. You could feel your own SOUL reacting to each ebb and flow of his emotions, soothing the worry and stress.

Grillby pulled away from the kiss reluctantly, but his forehead remained on yours. His hand slid from your cheek to rest against your neck, his thumb tracing your jaw, “...be safe.”

“You too,” you said, fingers clutching his tunic. His SOUL seeming to almost purr at how close your hands were to it. “You know, it takes a lot to kill me,” you teased, and felt the immediate distress in his SOUL.

“...don’t joke about that...I’ll know,” he promised dropping a kiss to your forehead. Your SOUL flipped happily at the small affection as he straightened to his full height again. You wanted to kiss his face back but he was too freaking tall.

“I know,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him and holding him tightly. He didn’t even hesitate before his arms were around you as well, clutching you to him just as tightly. “Keep Nindree safe too.”

Another kiss, this time to the top of your head.

The door was thrown open.

“Enough canoodling!” Gerson said, and then started laughing, “Young love is still gross! Come! If ya wanna come back to smooch some more, we gotta leave.”

With great reluctance you released Grillby. His flames were still burning tall and wild, and he gave you a wide grin. You couldn’t help the goofy smile that burst over your face as you started to follow after Gerson.

It may not have been an actual confession, but your SOUL was doing excited flips in your chest and you felt almost dizzy in your happiness.

You waved back at him as the caravan rumbled out of the city. Gerson laughing about love and started talking about how exciting it was to be travelling with another being.

You felt lighter than you had ever felt as you turned and sat down properly on the driver bench.

You couldn’t wait to get back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the word canoodling. 
> 
> Also...I’m doing a self-tober thing that you can find here ---> https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/post/187933725914/creepygnomeking-here-is-the-official-self-tober
> 
> I'll basically be posting a one-shot per day for 31 days with various undertale characters x Reader ships with various prompts. It's supposed to be a self-insert typo-dealio but I might as well make it so most people will be able to read. Yknow? There will be some prompts that are more self-inserty than reader but those will be few. I’ll also be posting it just to my tumblr unless you guys want it to be uploaded onto ao3 as well (for those of you who don’t like/want to use tumblr). Lemme know if you wanna read it here as well just drop a comment down below~!
> 
> I would put my tumblr link again for you guys to come to talk to me as normal but just use the link above. No need for extraneous links my friends.


	15. The Past and Family

You couldn’t remember the last time you saw the sea. You smelt the salt on the wind long before you heard the crash of waves against the rocky shore, and it took even longer before you could see the water glistening like a jewel in the setting sun’s rays. There was something that soothed you about this particular sea, however. Which was strange, considering the Citadel and the human capital were on the other end of the kingdom.

The air was warmer, and moss clung to the surface of the gnarled ancient trees. The wind blew in smooth but strong, creating large cascading waves off in the distance that lost their full strength before they crashed amongst the rocks.

You and Gerson were officially back within the Monster Kingdom territory according to him, and you couldn’t be happier. Each day and night was filled to the brim with tension at the thought of being caught with a monster hiding in the back of the caravan. The few times other travellers or soldiers found you on the road, you’d nearly drenched yourself with nervous sweat. None of them had any reason to think you weren’t exactly what you seemed; an innocent traveller.

It had nearly been eighteen months since you left Home. Eighteen months of travelling from the East end of the human kingdom, all the way down to the Southern end, and then back up, spreading the word as you went. Gerson spent long with each monster the two of you came across, giving them tips on how to get back to the monster Kingdom with little fuss. None chose to venture with the two of you, as you didn’t know officially when you’d be back in the Kingdom. They wanted to get back there a soon as they possibly could. Before they would venture towards the Monster Kingdom, you offered to heal where you could, and defence where it was warranted.

As necessary as what you were accomplishing was...you were itching to return. Homesickness clung to your shoulders like a heavy, wet woollen cloak. Sometimes it hurt too much to even look at the campfire at night, and your SOUL would pulse uncomfortably.

But...being here? You felt your discomfort and homesickness wash away with the tide.

Even seeing the sunset beneath the distant horizon did nothing to put a damper on the lightness about your body.

“We’ll be staying up ahead,” Gerson said from beside you on the driver’s bench. You regretfully tore your gaze away from the painted sky to look ahead. Something in your SOUL was singing happily, and you placed a hand over your chest.

“What is this place?” you asked. There must be something magical about it, perhaps the monsters that lived in this area had been so happy for such a long time the intent seeped into nature. Something that could explain the light, pleasant feeling you were getting.

Gerson’s eyes flicked away from the path briefly, and you saw a flash of grief in them.

Suddenly, the singing in your SOUL stopped.

Gerson said nothing else, and you didn’t question him or push him into an answer. If he wanted to speak of his grief, he would.

The caravan turned off the main road and followed an overgrown passage that was lined on the sides by a rocky fence. Similar to the one that you had erected around your farm once upon a time. You felt growing magic in the air and...it felt like coming home.

The silence in your SOUL took a sharp turn as you felt an overwhelming sadness overtake what was once elation.

The caravan rumbled to a stop in the center of an abandoned village, overtaken by nature. Roofs had collapsed, and vines crept up the side of the stone houses. There was a small garden off to the side that you could see had been long since tended to, there was no separation between different vegetables or fruits anymore. Moss covered everything that wasn’t already covered by other foliage. You noticed as Gerson slid off the bench and stretched his legs lightly, that it didn’t sound like dirt that he landed on.

“Gerson? What is this place?” you asked again, feeling the sadness grow as your eyes landed on one house in particular.

For a moment, he didn’t say anything, his eyes drifting around the abandoned place before he turned to look up at you. The grief was back, and he held a hand out towards you, gesturing for you to get down. He waited until you had both feet on the ground before he let out a deep breath.

“This used ta be a village where monsters and humans lived together in harmony. It wasn’t really part of the monster kingdom, but neither the human kingdom,” he explained as he waddled off towards one of the houses, the one that made your SOUL ache the most.

You lingered by the caravan, content with watching him. You felt like an intruder in his grief and sadness. Did he use to live here? What happened to it? Why would it be abandoned if it was such a symbol of hope for the unity of monster and humankind?

An icy chill ran up your back.

Gerson gently pushed open the door to the house, and it swung unimpeded. For a moment, he didn’t move and as he facing away from you, you didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling. You could only guess. Then, with another sigh, he turned back around and waddled back over to the caravan. You simply watched him as he disappeared into the back and rummaged around. As you waited, you could feel rocks shift beneath your feet underneath the moss, and as you kicked lightly with your foot, you saw they were tiny pebbles. Strange. It was like the road was paved with small rocks.

When he emerged, he was holding a bundle of flowers, a satchel of tea, and a rock he had collected from a different part of the human kingdom near the beginning of your journey.

“What happened?” you asked, voice barely loud enough to be heard even in the quiet of the forest.

“That’s a long story,” Gerson said with a huff, and you wrapped your arms around yourself. Your usual quip about how he never passed up the opportunity to tell you a long story died on your tongue. Instead, you quietly followed him when he gestured towards you. He took you into the abandoned house, and he placed the three items on the mantle of the fireplace at the back of the house. “Light a fire, will ya?” he asked, gesturing towards the fire pit.

You cleaned it out from ivy and other intrusive plants before finding the log pile at the side of the house still holding long forgotten logs. By the time you got the fire going, night had fallen completely, and Gerson was cooking a hearty soup while sitting in an overly large forgotten chair.

“So, ya wanna know the story?” Gerson asked, nestling back further into the chair and turning his gaze onto you. You pulled the cloak that Nindree had given you tighter about yourself and nodded slightly. He grumbled lightly and reached up with his stubby fingers and stroked his beard. “Bout fifty-odd years ago, the human King decided that humans and monster were not allowed to produce children together. Have ya ever met a Halfling?”

You shook your head, “Didn’t know humans and monsters _could_ have children together.”

Gerson nodded solemnly, “They can...the thing that scared the heck outta the king though? Halflings have the best parts of both monsters and humans. See, if ya and Grillby were ta have a Halfling, imagine a human baby that could suddenly burst into flames but not be killed with one murderous-intent filled blow. Who could command fire as well as an Elemental but with the strength of a Mage.”

You flushed at the idea of you and Grillby having a child, but it faded quickly at the rest of his words. That...was intense. A human mage that could control fire as well as Grillby could? Well, it didn’t frighten you as much as it might’ve at one point, but you could imagine the fear that could easily be instilled into less than open-minded humans. That much power unchecked _could_ be disastrous...but you had a feeling that the monsters and humans in this village would have trained their children how to wield their powers responsibly.

Gerson watched the dawning understanding on your face and nodded, “Monsters though? We celebrated Halflings. They represented a future where both our kinds could live together in peace, and that together we could create something wonderful. Plus! They were cute as heck! There was one little boy who you swore was fully human but when he got startled? Poof! He’d suddenly sprout fur all over her body and dart off as a small white dog. ”

His voice grew thick, and he turned his gaze towards the fire for a long while. Regret and fury ebbed off of him before he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. You placed another log onto the fire, watching as it quickly caught with a little nudge of magic. As much as you had a million questions to ask Gerson, like what happened to all the Halflings? Why did he refer to them in past tense? Did...were they all gone? That couldn’t be possible. There was undoubtedly some adult Halflings out there. Had you met some at the Citadel? No. The Grandmaster would’ve feared them as much as he feared monsters.

Millions of thoughts flashed through your mind in the quiet lull of silence.

“I was Captain of the Guard and I was visiting this village with the late Queen. We had just left...not yet a full day’s journey away when a runner tracked us down to tell us that there was an attack on the village. Citadel Mages. The only survivor was the runner...but they dusted soon after returning back to the village to find the entire village was slaughtered...including the children,” Gerson choked out, and you saw tears building in his eyes. You immediately reached over and took his hand in yours. You’d never, _ever_ seen Gerson cry. Gods, you rarely saw him ‘serious’...but you could feel the overwhelming sadness in the air. “Halfings don’t dust...” he whispered quietly, and it felt like air whooshed from your lungs before you leaned over and hugged him as tightly as you could.

The two of you stayed that way for a while before Gerson wiped at his eyes, giving your arm a squeeze, and then leant forward to check the soup. He was silent as he picked up the ladle and scooped the heated soup into two bowls. You accepted the one with a soft ‘thank you.’

“This was the village Chief’s home. I’ve never met such an airheaded buffoon as he was, and probably never will again!” Gerson’s voice grew lighter as he spoke, and then he let off a softer version of his odd laugh. “If his mate wasn’t a literal rock monster, I bet he would’ve floated off!”

You smiled at that, “Sounds like you were close with the beings here.”

Gerson nodded, “I knew Druhim for a long time, as he would say since he was a little pebble. Wahaha! Speaking of pebbles! He cried enough pebbles to line the streets when his and Chief’s daughter’s egg-formed! Not to mention when she actually hatched!”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Egg? Halflings are born like monsters?”

“Course! How else would a monster and human mate?” he asked, frowning slightly at you. “Especially a monster made completely out of rock.”

You flushed lightly at the question and averted your gaze, “I dunno.”

He cackled and clapped your shoulder, making a bit of your soup spill out onto the ground.

Thankfully, he seemed to drop the subject and ate most of his soup before settling back into his chair. “Their daughter was cute as a button, as well. Used ta bring me little rocks and flowers that she found in the forest and down by the shore. That little bug could climb like no one’s business, she climbed up King Riagol once before he even was aware of what was happening and tucked a bunch of flowers into his hair. She then said that his hair was ‘so pretty’ and so he had to braid her hair because Rigaol’s a big ol’softie for children. Druhim had cried when he saw the flowers in her hair and then cried harder when she exclaimed she was pretty like the King!”

You smiled softly but said nothing. Content to listen to him tell you more stories about the village...and not just about the Chief and his family. About how it was amusing to watch the Halflings play with human and monster children alike because they’d seamlessly switch between their ‘human presenting’ forms and their ‘monster presenting’ forms depending on who they were playing with. About the various different monsters and humans that lived there. He told you that there were four Halflings living in the village.

“See, it’s tough for a human and monster to conceive. The monsters SOUL must be equally as strong as the human’s SOUL for it to work. Four Halfling children in the same village, living at the same time? Unheard of! I think in my long years, there have been a total of twenty Halflings,” he explained, stroking his beard again.

“How old were they?” you asked, voice thick as you knew that your question would bring the mood back down to the heart-rending grief it was before. Gerson winced slightly.

“The youngest...the Chief’s daughter was four. The oldest was ten. Far too young...they barely brushed the surface of their lives...” he said softly, looking away from you to the mantle were the three offerings sat. “Hopefully, I will see more before I dust.”

You didn’t like seeing him so...sad. It hurt. You fiddled with your empty bowl, then shyly said, “Well...I do kinda wanna see a combustible baby.”

Gerson’s laughter rang out so loud and boisterous that you swore it lingered in the air even after the two of you headed back into the caravan to sleep. The heavy mood lifted...and you were glad for it. Grief and mourning was important...but you didn’t want him to drown in it either.

The village lingered in your mind as the two of you left it behind to travel further inland. The fact that Citadel Mages had killed _children_ in cold blood? That just fueled your hatred for them, and made disgust rise within you at the fact that _you_ had been apart of them once. How long ago had that happened? Were you still in the Citadel? Or was it long before you had even been born? You had wanted to ask Gerson, but kept your questions to yourself. You didn’t want to keep him lingering on the negative. So, instead, you distracted him by asking him questions about the area instead. You had even managed to get him to linger by the shore for a bit longer, and you collected some shells happily.

You found a pretty shell that was orange and white that made you think of Grillby’s smile and when you got back to the caravan, you and Gerson no longer lingered on negative things like death, war, and hatred. You learned about his children (he had four), and that he was born on an island just off the coast of where the previous monster capital was.

The days bled into weeks, and at one point, you felt your SOUL tug.

“We’re getting close.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. You’d know that feeling anywhere. Your SOUL knew it was close to Grillby’s, and it made you smile brightly. Gerson gave you a smug look, and you blushed and mumbled, ‘shut up old man.’ Which made him cackle loudly.

There was a bit of fear that he wouldn’t want you after nearly a year and a half of not seeing each other...of not communicating. You would’ve if you could, but you couldn’t. Not him personally. Gerson’s paper and ink were to write messages updating the King on the situation, and he had a limited supply since the ink was created by monsters, so only monsters could read it. Though, you pointed out that you could read the ink, and he grumpily complained that he must’ve grabbed the wrong ink.

“Gerson! Lionheart!” a familiar voice called out, and you glanced upwards as a small bird monster dove down and landed on the top of the caravan. Tarvage if you remembered correctly, they no longer had their striped tunic on. They chirped happily and bounced. “Have ya heard? Have ya heard? Prince Asgore and Lady Toriel are to be bonded! Happy news! Happy news!”

You gasped, and Gerson grumbled.

“I will tell them you are near! I will!” Tarvage crowed before unfurling they’re wings and taking off into the air. They let out a happy whoop before twirling in a circle and darting over the trees in a burst of magic.

You grasped Gerson’s arm. “How much longer? I want to congratulate them! Oh! I’m so happy for them!”

Gerson grumbled, “They’re gunna be so lovey-dovey! Even more than normal! Blegh...at least there will be a celebration...”

“Can we go any faster?” you begged, and he sighed and nodded.

You saw him smile as you turned your head, excitement bubbling in your chest. The enthusiasm just grew stronger the closer you got to Home, and even Gerson seemed to be looking forward to the end of the trip. He was letting you sleep while he steered just so the two of you could arrive at the city sooner. You couldn’t wait. It was about time there was something to celebrate.

Soon, the city was only a day away...but you realized that your SOUL wasn’t reacting as if Grillby was ahead in the city...but somewhere else. You rubbed at your chest and glanced to where it was tugging softly, he was further than a day away. Where was he?

Sharp stinging pain sliced across your cheek. You raised your hand up to your cheek in surprise, and your fingertips came away with blood.

A hammer flew the opposite direction, and you heard a sharp yelp before a thud.

The quiet forest burst into chaos immediately.

Bandits burst forth from the tree line, and Gerson leapt spryly from the caravan. A massive war hammer in his grip. “Protect the caravan,” he ordered as you summoned your staff. You worried for Gerson. You’d never seen him fight before...but if he used to be the Captain of the Royal Guard? You’d trust his word.

As you leapt down from the bench, you felt your magic already pooling out of your SOUL. It shot down your arms and by the time your feet hit the ground, it was forming a barrier around the caravan. An arrow crashed against it and fell harmlessly to the ground.

“A mage!” a voice shouted from within the forest.

A few of the bandits hesitated, and Gerson took quick advantage of that. His hammer slammed heavily into the stomach of one closest to him, and blood spewed from the man’s mouth. A woman attempted to jump him, but he twisted, and his shell slammed into her, sending her careening to the side instead. You kept half an eye on the monster.

You couldn’t read LV, but you knew that if one of these bandits had a high enough LV? A well-placed shot could instantly kill Gerson. It made you fear for him, and you could feel your magic snapping and quaking against your arms. You wanted to assist and protect him, but you refused to ignore his words. It took more effort to stay where you were, focusing your mind on the barrier instead of the fight going on around you.

Thankfully, none of the bandits realized that if they focused their energy on attacking your barrier, it would fall. After a few arrows, they’d shifted their focus onto Gerson. You kept the barrier up but used the shift in focus to bend down and place your hand on the ground. Your magic rushed out of you and into the Earth as if it belonged there rather than within your SOUL. It stretched out finding different roots, rocks, and other objects deep beneath the surface.

“Already out of magic?” a voice taunted, “Good, makes you easier to subdue. Then ya won’t be givin’ help ta yer friend.”

Your gaze snapped up to meet the owner of the voice and saw a woman resting the flat of her blade against her shoulder. She slowly shifted the sword down, and the tip touched your jaw. How’d she get past your barrier? Fuck. Had she already been inside it when you summoned it?

“Wonder how much the mages will give me for ya?” she teased, “A traitor like you.”

You didn’t bother responding to her taunts, the ground began to shift, and she stumbled back in shock. Roots sprung forth from the ground, tripping bandits, or curling about their legs. The woman in front of you tried to leap out of the way, but the ground rose like water beneath her, and her feet couldn’t get a grip.

“W-What? Kill her!” the woman screamed as roots curled up her body, and the ground became soft as it consumed her body to her screams. You closed your eyes and saw the world around you in a different light. Your magic lighting up the ground around you with pale green.

However, you felt the drain in your SOUL, and you quickly opened your eyes and called back your magic. Gerson slammed his hammer down on the last conscious human and twisted around. His eyes shrewdly looking around for any other human that was willing to attack them.

When he found none, he turned towards you. “Ya shouldn’t keep a barrier up and use your magic! You’ll drain yourself quicker,” he said, giving you a scolding look, but it was ruined because he was smiling. You dropped the barrier.

“Says the old geezer who summoned a bunch of hammers,” you teased, and then shifted your attention down to your staff. You twisted your wrist, and the staff vanished from sight.

Gerson let out a sharp shout, and your head snapped up so fast it hurt. You didn’t know what happened, but you saw him tear an arrow from his eye, and watched as dust followed in its wake.

“Gerson!” you screamed as he staggered back, throwing the arrow to the ground. Fear and fury clung to you as you watched dust begin to slip from his eye. A stubby hand cupped over his eye, and he grimaced. Your gaze instantly snapped towards where the arrow had come from, and you saw a human running in the opposite direction deeper into the forest.

You weren’t going to chase him.

Following anyone deeper into the forest alone was a bad idea. Instead, you ran to Gerson’s side.

“Wahaha...haven’t gotten an arrow to the eye before,” he mumbled, leaning heavily against your side when you pulled his arm over your shoulder. Was he going to dust? What if he dusted? He can’t dust. It was Gerson, he didn’t live this long to die from a simple arrow to the eye. Right? Oh, gods you hoped that was the case.

“It didn’t kill you. That meant they didn’t have the intent to kill. So you should be okay, right? They just wanted you weakened, which it did! But we need to get you back to the capital, what if something happens? I could probably heal you a bit, but I don’t know how much it would work! With Grillby, I passed out after I reignited his wound, but that’s different than an eye,” you babbled, feeling tears beginning to prick at the corner of your eyes. Why were you crying? He was just injured.

Gerson huffed out another laugh, “I should be fine. Just...get me into the caravan. I don’t think I got any candy leftover so I’ll have to make do till we get back.”

“Are you sure? Maybe Tarvage will come back? Or I could...I could try healing!” you said, hurrying him towards the back of the caravan. Did you have enough magic leftover that you could heal him with any benefit? Or would it do nothing and you’d pass out again because of overusing your magic. Fuck. You shouldn’t have stretched your magic out that much. Focused on those closer instead of trying to attack as many as you could.

“Lionheart.”

You opened the door to the caravan and pulled down the steps. Maybe a bit of healing then? Or should you just push the horses to their limits in hopes that you could get back to the capital before anything worsens? What if there was another attack? Would you be able to hold them all off with your drained magic? It was only a bit away. You should be able to get back. There shouldn’t be any bandits that close to the capital.

“Lionheart.”

He might not have any monster candy, but he might have other magic food. He should right? But would they offer healing properties? Damn it! You should’ve packed some into your chest. Why hadn’t you thought of doing that? Because you weren’t thinking of him...just yourself. Gods, what if he dusts?

Gerson grabbed your face, snapping out your actual name, and it broke you out of your thoughts.

“Are _you_ okay?” Gerson demanded, “You’re crying.”

You sniffed, and then reached up and roughly brushed at the tears on your cheeks which stung the cut there. “I’m fine. You’re the one hurt.”

Gerson huffed, “I’m not going to dust over this.”

“What if you do!” you snapped out before you could stop yourself. “W-What if you do dust? What! What if you dust while I’m riding b-back and I don’t....I don’t...I don’t even kn-know until I open the back and see a pile of d-du-dust? What if I could’ve done something but you’re just gone? I...can’t-I just...I can’t!”

You couldn’t see his face through your tears anymore.

“You can’t what?” Gerson asked, hand still holding your jaw firmly.

“I can’t l-lose you,” you sobbed out. Your arms wrapped around your chest as sobs wracked your body. What if he had dusted? You should’ve been fighting with him instead of protecting the caravan! Why did you have to go and listen to him!

Gerson huffed and then pulled you into a tight hug, surprising you. He patted your back gently. “I’m still here, kid. I’m still here. You’re okay.”

You clung to him tightly, shaking with sobs.

You almost lost him.

You hadn’t realized how much that would have devastated you till now. He’d always just been that weird old monster that you’d occasionally see. It was never a conscious thought that he was more important to you than just an acquaintance. He was the closest fucking thing you’ve had to family since you were four years old, and you’d taken that for granted. You wouldn’t lose him. You couldn’t.

Gods damn it; you loved this crotchety old monster.

“Stupid old man,” you choked out, but you stepped back. You kept your hands on his shoulders and then you gave him a weak glare. “Don’t scare me like that again, or I’ll bring you back from the dead to smack you.”

“There ya go! Wahaha! Now! Go and get us to the capital while I regain some magic,” he said, waving his hands towards the door.

“H-How will I know you won’t dust?” you asked, voice cracking as you felt your tears beginning to form again.

“I haven’t started to Fall Down yet, so that means I won’t any time soon. Ya either dust immediately, or start to Fall Down. You’d know if I was Falling Down,” he explained, voice serious, and he patted your cheek. “Don’t worry ‘bout this old monster, I’m fine. Trust me.”

You examined his eye worriedly, before slowly nodding. Getting him to the capital quickly would benefit him...and if he promised that he wouldn’t dust while you were driving...you just had to trust him. You nodded again, more surely before you headed towards the door.

“Don’t crash my caravan!” Gerson warned as you closed the door behind you.

He was going to be okay.

Toriel and Asgore were going to get married.

You were going to see Grillby.

You took a deep breath. Things were going to be okay. You could feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have gotten teary-eyed while writing the ending there woops. 
> 
> Also! Still going strong with my [Self-Tober](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/post/188130110179/self-tober-2k19-masterlist) writing over on my tumblr~!


	16. A Lot Of Catching Up

It was a huge weight off your shoulders when the caravan finally pulled into the city walls. Your fingers ached as you uncurled them from the reins, and you ungracefully half-fell half-jumped down from the driver’s bench. Worry still clung to your bones as you hurried to the back of the caravan and threw open the door. Gerson was slumped over in the seat you had put him in, but there was a mighty snore stuttering out with every exhale and you instantly relaxed.

“Gerson,” you called to him, and the sound made him snort and startle.

“What?” he asked, blinking wearily with his one good eye. The other was just an empty void that made your stomach churn. It had stopped dusting, which was probably a good thing...right? Worry settled back against you.

“We’re back Home,” you explained, beckoning to him. “Let’s get you to the Healers.”

He harrumphed, but got up at your insistent beckoning, and slowly ambled down the steps you pulled out for him. Toriel appeared by your shoulder before he was fully down the steps, her large hands dropping onto your shoulders to twist you around and pull you into a warm hug.

“Welcome Home!” she said cheerfully when she pulled back, beaming down at you. “I must thank you! Lionheart, if you had not saved me that day...I would have never met my SOULmate.”

You smiled at her, “I heard, congratulations.”

She frowned ever so slightly, “Are you okay? You seem-“ her voice stopped as she took in your face. A single finger stroked your cheek and then her eyes snapped up to see Gerson. Her mouth dropped open and she abandoned your side quickly. “Gerson! What happened to your eye?”

“Eh, just a bandit ambush,” Gerson said casually, waving a hand. “Takes more than an arrow ta take me down.”

Toriel’s hands went to her hips immediately, “Just because you didn’t dust doesn’t mean that you’re okay! What if they regrouped and came back? Or someone else attacked you?” she scolded, before jabbing a finger towards the Clinic. “Go! We must check to make sure that it isn’t just the dredges of your magic keeping you together.”

You paled instantly, making eye contact with Gerson. He grinned, and then winked at you, “She’s _kidding_.”

Toriel’s lips quirked into a small smile before she scowled again. “This is no joking matter! Shoo!”

Gerson ambled away towards the Clinic, whistling as he went. Toriel ran a hand down her face, and then gave you a once over before pulling a monster candy from a pouch on her belt. She placed it in your awaiting hand and closed your fingers over it. “If that cut is all that you suffered, this should help with it...what happened?”

You explained it to her quietly, and then she covered her mouth.

“That close to the capital? Figures...I just...wished they would be moving further towards the human kingdom...” she said wistfully, before dropping her gaze briefly. “King-“

Someone screamed your name, and you barely had time to brace before you were tackled. The monster twisted so that you landed on top of them instead of skidding across the dirt, but the moment the two of you came to a stop, you were flipped onto your back and Nindree grinned down at you.

“You’re finally BACK!” she crowed before leaping to her feet and dragging you with her. “I’ve missed you, pipsqueak!”

“Pipsqueak?” you said, mock offended, and dusted off your skirt to the best of your ability. “I’m not that much shorter than you.”

Her hands went under your armpits and you felt yourself hoisted straight off your feet until you came face-to-face with her. Your feet dangled uselessly beneath you, and Nindree grinned with her big pointy teeth. “You were saying?” she teased before releasing you. Your feet hit the ground and you nearly staggered at the sudden sensation. Nindree’s hands stabilized you quickly. Then she stepped back, placing a hand on her hip, and the other rested on the large satchel against her hip.

“It’s been FOREVER! Grillby was becoming INSUFFERABLE without you! Well, he was quiet as usual, but like his SOUL was so FUCKING loud,” she whined, but her grin didn’t falter at all. “It was so bad I had to move out of the house!”

Your eyebrows flew up, “You moved out?”

“Yeah! Now I live with my SOULmate Cherja,” she said, point off into the distance to a monster. Your gaze followed her finger and saw a monster that was mostly snake, but had human-esque features above their waist that blended smoothly with the snake tail. However, they were covered with scales instead of skin that glimmered with an iridescent sheen whenever they shifted. They were pitch black with what you could only describe as a mane of bright red hair that was styled as if it were the hood of a cobra. They glanced over as if hearing their name being spoken, and their slitted eyes took you in briefly before they returned to their own conversation. They had

Wait, SOULmate?

Then your head whipped back to Nindree, “SOULmate?!?! Since when? You never mentioned anything about that before I left! I thought we were besties?” you complained, feeling a bit of actual hurt at not knowing.

Nindree took a step back, placing a hand over her chest. “We ARE besties! Don’t you forget that! BESIDES!!!!!! I met them _after_ you left!!! AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THAT YOU AND GRILLBY ARE A THING!” her voice grew louder and she jabbed a finger at you. “I can’t believe it! He was all blushy and shit!”

Your face flushed, “THAT’S! BECAUSE!!! I kissed him before I left! You had already run off to train or whatever! I didn’t have time to tell you!!!”

Nindree gasped, and the small white pupils dilated to fill her entire eye. That was...startling, and even more so when she grabbed your arms. “YOU KISSED GRILLBY?!?!?!?! WHEN! HOW! Was it good? How does he even kiss when he’s fire?”

You felt your face heating up as you notice other monsters were beginning to pay attention to your excited friend. She was nearly vibrating with joy as she grinned down at you. You really didn’t want her to shout anything more about you and Grillby in the center of the city, as amusing as it was for everyone else.

“HEY! Why do you have a satchel!” you blurted out loudly, desperate for a distraction, jabbing a finger towards it. “You never wear a satchel.”

She stepped back and patted it gently, a fond look crossing her eyes. “OH! Yeah...me and Cherja are gunna be parents.”

It was your time to gasp, and you grabbed her arms. “What? Oh my Gods. Can I see!!”

Nindree smiled before carefully producing a fairly large Egg from the satchel. It was a teal blue colour and there was a small white SOUL pulsing in the center softly. It was beautiful, and when Nindree placed the softest of kisses to the surface, the small SOUL glowed brighter and then did a small twirl. You placed a hand over your mouth. That was...amazing. A smile slowly stretched over your face until your cheeks hurt.

“They’re beautiful,” you whispered, “When do...when does the Egg hatch?”

Nindree chuckled, “You sound like Sans...uh...it depends! My parents said I took ten years to hatch, and Cherja only took five weeks to hatch.”

Your eyes tore away from the Egg to look up at Nindree in surprise. “So...it’s random? Or does different monsters take longer?”

Her head tilted slightly, “Didn’t the Citadel teach you that?”

You shook your head, “No. We just know that monsters are created as Eggs, not…y’know, the process.”

Nindree shifted the Egg to cradle it in the crook of her arm, and she gestured towards where your house was. You hesitated and glanced towards the Clinic. You explained what happened with Gerson and she frowned, but turned her head towards the Clinic. You saw her eyes narrow slightly, and her pupils that had returned to their normal size shifted colour briefly to yellow. A heartbeat went by before she shrugged. “His SOUL is still kicking. If anything happens...Toriel will come get us.”

You hesitantly nodded, but then lead the way towards your house. You half expected Grillby to be inside, but he wasn’t. You already knew that he wasn’t even in the City. Your SOUL wasn’t moving as much as it normally did when he was closer. Still, there wasn’t anything...wrong? Perhaps he was just on an outing. If anything was wrong, Nindree would’ve told you if Toriel hadn’t already.

So! You headed over to the kitchen and started the fire to get some water boiling for tea, and turned to watch as Nindree settled into one of the chairs and settle her Egg on her lap.

“Okay! So, y’know what monsters are made of? Love, hope, and compassion?” she asked, and you nodded. “Well, when two monsters fall in love, they yank out their SOULs and let them do what they want. Typically the two monsters are SOULmates or really in love, so their SOULs will touch. If they both want children, their magic will create a baby!” she patted her Egg lovingly, a soft look gracing her features. You never thought of Nindree as ‘soft’ but...you supposed you’d have to add that to her description. Scary, intense, fish lady and soft mother.

“Depending on the parents LV the baby’s SOUL will require so much love, hope, and compassion to be given to it in order to hatch. Cherja’s parents are both low LV farmers, while my parents were high LV warriors, which is why they were quick to hatch but I took FOREVER! Cherja has got a decent LV, and mine is pretty freakin’ high so I think our Egg will take....seven to ten years as well to hatch,” she said, giving a critical look to the Egg. “As long as they get plenty of love, hope, and compassion.”

“...what if they don’t?” you asked, not truly wanting to know the answer. Nindree’s face fell slightly, and she stroked the Egg absentmindedly.

“The SOUL will start to wither...if you EVER find an orphaned Egg? Do NOT hesitate to pick that baby up and smooch it and think about its future as a fully fledged monster and get it to the Healers ASAP!!!!” she said, jabbing a finger at you. “Unless you wanna adopt the Egg of course.”

Thankfully, you had never come across an orphaned Egg. Actually, you don’t think you’d ever seen a monster Egg period before today. You probably wouldn’t have known what to do with it if you had…so you were glad that you knew _now_ what to do.

You placed the kettle over the fire before sitting down. Nindree’s entire presence just seemed to soften around the Egg, her face was full of gentle affection and none of the typical over the top grins and jokes. There didn’t seem to be a time either where she stopped touching the Egg, whether it was stroking, patting or giving random tiny kisses.

Nindree’s fingers stroked the Egg again before she grinned at you, “Wanna hold them?”

“Can I?” you asked breathlessly, hands instantly reaching towards her. However, as she shifted to hold the Egg towards you, you hesitated. You’d never even held a human baby before, you’d only held Sans and he had been strong enough then to cling to you without falling. How delicate was the Egg? You didn’t want to drop it, but whatever if it did? Was it like a duck Egg? Would it instantly shatter? Fear made you pull your hands back, and Nindree sighed.

“They’re tough, trust me!” she said, plopping the Egg onto your lap instead. You quickly reached out to stabilize it, and your breath rushed out of you.

It was so warm! You felt a rush of curiosity from the Egg and you looked over at Nindree. “Why does it feel...curious?” you asked quietly, eyes dropping back to the Egg. You carefully ran a finger along the Egg before placing your hand over it. Even with your fingers spread, you weren’t able to full span the widest part of it. It was so big!

“As far as we’re aware the SOULs aren’t...conscious yet, but they can react to the world round them! They’re like ‘who the HECK is holding me!’” Nindree grinned, and then patted the SOUL. You felt an instant change in the Egg as the SOUL recognized the tough. You gasped in excitement.

“That’s so cool!” you blurted out, “I love this!”

Nindree snickered, “Seriously??? Are you just Sans in a human body suit?” she pinched your arm lightly, but you barely reacted. Your entire focus was on the Egg. “He had the same exact reaction when I introduced him to them.”

“Have you picked out a name?” you asked, unable to tear your eyes away as you placed both palms against the Egg. Ten years wasn’t that long away! You couldn’t wait to meet the little monster child within! The SOUL twirled suddenly, and you gasped, interrupting Nindree as she opened her mouth to speak. “They twirled!”

Nindree snickered again, “They liked whatever you were feeling.”

“I love them!” you gasped unable to stop yourself, looking up at Nindree. Her face softened and she chuckled, leaning against the table.

“I’m sure they’ll love the FUCK outta you too. You’re and Grillby are PRACTICALLY family!!!” Nindree said, punching your shoulder a lot more gently than she normally would. You couldn’t help but grin at her and then gently pressed a kiss to the smooth surface of the Egg yourself. “OH YEAH! We haven’t come up with a name of the little one yet, Cherja thinks all my names are DUMB! Which is totally untrue!!! I mean, Undying is a fucking badASS name! But Cherja is like ‘It’ssss a nice thought but let’sssss not jinxxx them,’” Nindree attempted to draw out the ‘s’s and took on a rather odd accent that you hadn’t heard before. It hooked your attention immediately. Whether it was your own natural curiosity blossoming or if feeling the curiosity from the egg, you weren’t able to tell but you did know you missed out on eighteen months.

“Tell me about Cherja!” you said, “I can’t believe I missed out on so much!”

Nindree instantly started absolutely GUSHING about her SOULmate. You probably knew more about Cherja by the time the tea was ready than you knew about Nindree herself. However, you had learned with Nindree that she typically never said something like ‘I have a SOULmate’, it was more like ‘random fact, random fact, my SOULmate, random fact, random fact.’ If you weren’t paying attention you’d miss key character background information while talking with her. There was probably a chance you could randomly recall a piece of information about Nindree without really realizing she had told you.

Darkness had fallen by the time you and Nindree had heard a knock on your door. You were still cuddling the Egg, so Nindree got up and let in Gerson and Toriel. Gerson’s injured eye was closed as if he was constantly winking at you now. You held up the Egg slightly to show Gerson. “Look!” you chirped excitedly, “Nindree’s gotta baby!”

Gerson chuckled and took a seat at the table.

“Oh! Let me get you guys some tea!” you said, handing the Egg carefully back to Nindree.

Toriel gave you a warm smile and offered to help, but you waved towards the last available chair.

“Yer mood’s lifted since I last saw ya,” Gerson commented as you placed a cup of tea in front of him, and then leaned forward to hand another to Toriel.

“You’re fine, and look! A baby!” you sat down and patted the Egg. “I’ve never been around an Egg before, it’s so cool!”

Gerson chuckled, but you did notice that it wasn’t as boisterous at it normally would be. You turned towards him. “You sure you’re okay, old man?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Gerson waved a hand before picking up the tea and blowing gently on it. “Just thinkin’.”

“About?” you pried, leaning forwards onto your elbows.

Gerson glanced at Nindree and then at Toriel. “Ya haven’t told her?”

Your blood went immediately icy and you straightened. “Told me what?”

Toriel glared at Gerson before reaching over and placing a hand on yours. “Do not fret. Gerson is being needlessly vague,” she gave him a pointed look before turning to address you again. “King Riagol received a letter about two months ago from the human King request to parley and discuss a peace treaty. They left three days ago to meet up with the human court at the border, they’re scheduled to return within the next week.”

“Who went with him?” you demanded, barely waiting for her to finish talking. Your eyes snapped to Nindree, “Why aren’t you with them? You’re the Judge and the Captain of the Guard.”

Nindree’s eyes darkened slightly, “Riagol didn’t want all his best people with him. Asgore, myself, and some of his other court were left behind. Just in case.”

“Grillby and Lord Gaster are with him, along with a handful of other guards and important and strong monsters,” Toriel said, her tone attempting to soothe your worries but they did nothing of the sort.

You swallowed thickly, dropping your gaze to the table. You could still feel your connect to Grillby, weak as it may be...so that had to mean something, right? Or would you just not feel if he was in danger? Besides, if the King of Monsters was attacked or killed, that would just spark a war immediately. You knew that even if some human’s didn’t exactly care about monsters, they would be furious that humanity had attacked in the pretense of a treaty. There would be rebellions...but only if the King didn’t migate any of the rumors by saying King Riagol attacked first.

You closed your eyes. No. You couldn’t see the human King going against his word. If your father was the one who reached out, you would’ve already been out the door demanding to take them to where the meeting place was. But...this was the King. He wasn’t like your father.

You could wait a week.

“A week?” you murmured, and Toriel nodded, her large hand still covering yours. She squeezed gently. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness, who could that Egg be???? It's mystery~!
> 
> [Still doing Self-tober over on my Tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/post/188130110179/self-tober-2k19-masterlist) if anyone is interested!


	17. Yours Forever

While you said you could survive a week, you really couldn’t. You were getting anxious after two days, and Nindree was running out of ways to keep you distracted. Gods, you were beginning to look at your house with an itch to do something to it. There must be _some_ way you could improve it. You wouldn’t touch the kitchen or Grillby’s room, but everything else was fair game...right?

On the third day, Toriel requested your presence in her private residence. Which was strange enough that it occupied your thoughts as you thanked the monster who informed you, and then made your way over. You waved to Cherja as you passed them, and then nodded in your direction. You weren’t close to the monster, but you made an attempt to at least interact with them when you saw them if only for Nindree. She always seemed happiest when people she cared about were getting along with each other.

Knocking on Toriel’s door, you clasped your hands behind your back and looked around. It had been quite a while since you had last been to Toriel’s actual home, and you could see the effects of the monsters starting to make the area their home. Small decorations on different homes, carts, crates, and other objects sitting outside for quick use when they were needed. A few doors had even been painted vibrant colours that made the gentle smile on your face widen.

“Welcome!” Toriel said, as warm as ever as she opened the door and ushered you inside. It looked just as cozy and homey as ever. Vivaldi was sitting in one of the big fluffy chairs talking to a monster whose body half was that of a spider. Their clothing looked expensive and intricate, and dyed a deep purple colour that reminded you of a vegetable you had once had years ago back at the Citadel. You couldn’t exactly remember the name of it off the top of your head. It started with ‘E’ you...think.

“Would you like some tea?” Toriel asked politely, but you gently declined.

“What did you need me for, Toriel?” you asked as Toriel headed over towards the spider monster.

“This is Raeanch, they’re the most skilled tailor in the capital,” Toriel introduced, and the spider monster dipped their head towards you with a smile that revealed razor sharp fangs. You returned the smile.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lionheart,” Raeanch spoke up, their voice a raspy whisper.

“Likewise,” you said, and then glanced towards Toriel curiously. Why were you being introduced to a tailor? Well, there could be any number of reasons. Monsters didn’t exactly have a hierarchy like humanity did, but normally if Toriel was introducing you to someone she considered a friend she wouldn’t include their profession.

“You do not have any formal wear, do you?” Toriel asked, gesturing towards one of the chairs in the room. You shook your head hesitantly, and she clapped her hands together. “Excellent! Raeanch has finished fitting me for my bonding ceremony dress, and when I mentioned that I have never seen you in anything more than practical wear, they offered to fit you for something as well.”

“Oh! Well, uh...as lovely as that sounds. I can just wear one of my other dresses,” you gestured vaguely over your shoulder, “I do have that deep green dress that I could dress up.”

Vivaldi chuckled, leaning her skull against her fist, “Do you owe anything that isn’t a necessity?”

Your eyebrows drew together, “...my cookbook?”

You got a dry look from her, and then she added, “Something that doesn’t serve a purpose besides you like how it looks.”

“No? Why would I?” you said, huffing a bit and crossing your arms. For some reason, you were starting to feel defensive. Thankfully, before Vivaldi could say anything more, Toriel held up a hand towards her and silenced the skeleton monster. She then placed her other hand on your shoulder. “I know you do not like things that you cannot reuse, and while this formal wear would be just for formal occasions...you can use it again in the future. I am sure there will be more bonding ceremonies you can attend, celebrations, and the like.”

“Plus, imagine how Grillby will look when he sees you in a formal dress,” Vivaldi pointed out with a smile, “he always sees you in leathers and wools, looking like you can weather any storm. Bet he hasn’t seen you in a delicate fabric.”

Your brow furrowed even more, “Why would he react any differently to seeing me in light fabrics? Well…they are impractical? So…he’d probably just be weirded out if anything.”

Vivaldi’s brow bones rose, and she glanced over at Toriel. Heat rose in your cheeks as the two exchanged a look between them that you were not privy too. What? What weren’t you getting here? Raeanch placed their hands over their chest, “Oh! My dear! You are too practical! If not for you, then allow me to indulge myself in creating something magnificent for you!”

You were getting uncomfortable.

“I could just wear my armour?” you suggested, “I mean it’s not like super fancy like the guards armour, but it’s still armour.”

“What if no one else is wearing armour?” Raeanch countered, however before you could defend yourself again, Toriel cleared her throat and gave the others a slightly scolding look.

“You do not have to if you really don’t want to,” Toriel said quietly, hand gently squeezing your shoulder, “It was just an offer...but it would be a gift to you.”

The three of them said nothing as you glanced amongst them before inhaling and exhaling heavily. A gift? Gods, it was hard to accept gifts…but you remembered your conversation with Grillby what felt like ages ago. This ‘gift’ wasn’t even small trinkets giving to you, it was a very expensive dress…but it was still a gift. You took another deep breath and deflated slightly, dropping your arms, “Sure, why not?...I still don’t really get why, but...I’m up for new things.”

Raaeanch cheered, rearing up slightly on their legs before shuffling away and lifting bolts of cloth up. Toriel smiled before joining Vivaldi in sitting.

It was a flurry of colours and fabrics that were too soft and light for you to even guess what they were. You were worried that your callused hands would damage the fabric if you touched it, and so you stood stiffly as Raeanch draped the different fabrics over your shoulders and contemplated the colours against your skin tone. Toriel and Vivaldi discussed the bonding ceremony with you, slowly easing you out of your tense defensive stature. Eventually you got out of your own head enough to start asking questions.

The bonding ceremony seemed...over the top. It reminded you of feasts that the Citadel would have every so often. Back then, you only wore your ‘fancy’ robes, which just meant you added an overcoat of the kingdom’s colours to your robes and maybe did something fancy with your hair. There wasn’t a lot of individuality allowed in the Citadel.

As for the bonding ceremony, there would be the actual ceremony that was private between Toriel and Asgore themselves, and then a more symbolic ceremony (which reminded you of human hand-fasting), followed finally by a full feast and celebration that would last long into the night.

“Sounds...complicated,” you murmured fidgeting as Raeanch began to measure your body. You’d never been measured by another person before, as all the robes in the citadel were adjustable, and there were a couple times where you swatted at their hands and blushed darkly. Raenach just gave you a patient look before continuing.

“Normally they aren’t,” Toriel said with a soft sigh, “but I am marrying the Prince. The ceremony part is optional; many monsters now a day’s don’t bother with it. When you and Grillby SOULbond, then-“

Your already flushed face darkened, “What?”

“SOULbond? Do...you not know what that is?” Toriel asked, placing her paw over her mouth to hide her smile. You scowled slightly.

“No, I know, but I mean...what do you mean ‘when’? I-...he...we haven’t-“ you stammered, looking resolutely away from her. Was it getting hot in here? You were already uncomfortable, and you weren’t exactly…best friends with either Vivaldi or Toriel. Sure, you could chat with them for a long time, but they were nowhere near as close to you as Nindree was. This sort of conversation was normally something Nindree would bring up.

“Do you have eyes for anyone else?” Viv asked, a knowing look washing over her face.

“Uh...no, I barely tolerate anyone in my personal space,” you said, with a pointed glance at Raeanch who just gave you a toothy smirk.

“Taking someone to bed is much different than being in love with them,” Raeanch said, jotting down another measurement into a notebook. You covered your face with one hand and made a choked noise. An image of Grillby flashed in your mind, and you blushed even more. You’d honestly never thought of _anyone_ like that, and the image of Grillby- you shook your head again trying to banish the thought.

“Oh! Enough you two,” Toriel said, but there was amusement in her voice, “As I was saying, you can keep your SOULbonding entirely a private affair, as most monsters will be able to tell you are SOULbonded.”

You were about to ask a follow up question when Vivaldi suddenly doubled forward, hands grasping at her chest. “Gaster...” she gasped, eyelight gone from her socket. She clung to Toriel’s arm the instant Toriel reached towards Vivaldi. You took a step forward when you felt a pain in your own chest, more discomfort than the full blown pain that it seemed Vivaldi got. It still took your breath away for a second before you were struggling to get the pinned fabric off of your shoulders.

“They’re in trouble,” you said, “Where’s Asgore?”

Toriel’s eyes were wide and you felt Raeanch’s fingers deftly plucking the delicate fabric from you. By the time you had yanked your clothes back on and your boots, Vivaldi’s eyelight had returned but she looked more distressed than you had ever seen her.

“He was going to speak with Nindree,” Toriel said, and you were out the door. Vivaldi was hot on your heels as you sprinted to where you had last seen Cherja, if anyone could point you in the direction of Nindree it would be her SOULmate. Toriel was long left behind by the time you nearly crashed into Cherja, who adeptly caught your shoulders.

“What isss it?” Cherja asked, her voice calm and soothing.

“Where’s Nindree?” you demanded, “I think something’s happened to the King and his entourage.”

Cherja’s slitted eyes grew even thinner before they gestured towards the gatehouse. “She isss with the Princcce.”

Vivaldi grabbed your shoulders and there was a shifting feeling along with darkness, before you were jolted into place in front of the Prince. What in the heavens??? You yelped slightly, jerking backwards away from Asgore. You were just??? And now you were??? How??? Nindree caught your wrist and hauled you back to your feet easily, a look of surprise on her face, but more so amusement.

“First time using her shortcuts?” Nindree asked, but before you could even begin to form a response, Vivaldi was grasping at Asgore.

“Gaster’s in trouble,” she choked out, “He was hurt. I felt it in our bond. Something went wrong. I don’t know what but send a runner, please!”

Asgore placed his hands on Viv’s shoulders, his eyes widening slightly before a grim look fell over them. “Nindree, send your fastest runner.”

Nindree released your wrist immediately before darting from the room. Asgore guided Vivaldi to a chair, and got her to sit down. Not more than a few minutes later, Cherja slithered in. Their face was guarded but they looked at Vivaldi to the Prince and then dropped their gaze to the floor.

“Princcce Asssgore, Lady Toriel asssked me to inform you that there isss three monssstersss in the procccessss of Falling Down. All of which report that they felt their SSSOULmate bond...break,” Cherja said, voice cracking at the end. Asgore’s face fell, and he glanced down at Vivaldi before back at Cherja. The monster did not lift their gaze from the floor, and their face betrayed nothing but you could see their hands fisted tightly, and the end of their long tail was swishing agitatedly.

“We do not know what happened yet. Tell Toriel that Nindree has sent out a runner to check on the situation. Find someone who knows all the SOULmates of those who left and bring them immediately to the Healers,” Asgore ordered, his voice taking on something akin to his father’s. Your chest ached, and you reached up to scrubbed at your collarbone as if that could ease the feeling. Cherja nodded and left the three of you.

You stood away from Vivaldi and Asgore as he attempted to soothe her, and when Cherja eventually returned, you barely noticed them slither over to stand beside you. You were worried...and your chest still ached, but you didn’t speak about it. There were monsters Falling Down, you had no right to complain about a small chest ache. Vivaldi disappeared at one point and returned with Sans in her arms, the young boy was silent and curled up against his mother.

It felt like forever by the time the runner returned and Nindree burst into the room.

“I sent Tarvage. Nothing but dust,” Nindree spat out.

Dust?

Was...

Did that mean?

You felt your knees grow weak and you leaned against the table behind you, you felt a solid weight against your feet and glanced down to see the tip of Cherja’s tail curled around your legs, gently resting against your feet. Their slender hand rested against your shoulder. You focused heavily on your feet.

“It’s not enough for how many monsters was sent, according to Tarvage,” Nindree growled out, her fists clenched tightly. “We _have_ to respond to this, Asgore! Send me and some of my best soldiers-“

Asgore held up a hand, “We cannot afford to start a war over speculation. It could have been the human king who ordered an attack, but it could’ve been bandits who ambushed them.”

“We are already practically in a war! They kill more and more of us every day, and now our KING is DEAD!” Nindree snarled, pointing a finger at the door.

“We need to keep our heads,” Asgore said, voice calm, “I will not risk sending our best fighters to investigate. My father taught me to never react with my emotions, or I will do something I may regret. My choices affect _all_ monsters, remember. For now, I need you to inform the city of what has happened, restrict travel...but allow the people to mourn this loss...Cherja, you’re promoted to First Lieutenant in place of Grill-“

“Asgore,” you blurted out, but he gave you a look that was equal parts understanding and silencing.

Vivaldi stood up, furious, “They’re not all dead! Gaster is still alive! Even if it was just bandits that means that he was taken or he’s injured. If Tarvage didn’t see anyone there, then that increases the chances that Gaster was taken...and potentially others as well!”

“I’ll go!” you offered, “I’ll-“

“I won’t risk you either,” Asgore interrupted, “I’m sorry, but we need a plan first and foremost. I won’t just send people off to their potential deaths.”

“I can’t sit by and do nothing,” you begged, “I-I’m technically not even one of your subjects, so I can just go.”

“Think of Grillby, if he’s alive, would he want you to rush blindly in?” Asgore asked, his voice attempting the same soothing aspect that Toriel was so good at. It wasn’t working. You were just getting agitated. “We need more information, and we _need_ to have a plan before we do anything. Preparing and thinking things through _is_ doing something, never forget that. As well, just because I am not ordering for anything to happen immediately doesn’t mean that I will sit back and let this go by without consequence. Trust in me…and remember that my own father, the last of my family, might be dead. I am not going to let this go, and if he is dead, and I am to be King. I need you all to understand that I must do what is best for _our_ people, all of us. We do not have the numbers to go against humanity.”

Nindree closed her eyes and took a deep breath before nodding, “I trust you, my prince. Forgive me.”

Vivaldi disappeared from the room with Sans, and Asgore deflated slightly.

“I...need to go speak with Tori...” Asgore murmured, “Spread the word about what happened and that we will be sending out people to gather the dust soon.”

Cherja bowed and slithered from the room, but not before they reached out and gently touched Nindree’s hand with their own. Asgore followed after Cherja a moment later, eyes downcast.

Nindree turned towards you, “Let’s get you home...”

You didn’t say anything as you walked over to her, and then wrapped your arms around her. She went stiff for a moment before bending slightly to envelop you in her arms. The two of you held each other tightly for a moment before you pulled away. “He’s alive,” you murmured, and she visibly deflated before dropping into a crouch in front of you. Her hands rubbed at her face as she let out a shuttering sigh.

“Thank the stars,” she huffed out, and you saw tears forming in her eyes, “Stupid jerk better be or I’ll figure out a way to bring him back to kill him again! Then I’ll kill everyone who killed him!! No one hurts MY FAMILY like this!!”

You nodded your agreement.

Nindree sniffled, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand before standing up straight again. “I’mma talk to Asgore later...see if I can change his mind about sending you….but, he is acting King right now, and I won’t go against the King.”

“Thanks, Nindree,” you said softly, and she draped her arm around your shoulders.

“Anything for my bestie,” she said, equally soft.

The walk to your house was way too short for you, and Nindree had to leave to finish her duties. She promised to stop by with Cherja if you wanted the company, but you shook your head. She had more important things to deal with...and there were people who had actually lost someone. A loved one. A friend. A neighbour. There was the slowly growing feeling of distress over the city before you closed it away behind your front door.

It was cold in your house.

The lingering scent of smoke was fading, and you blinked away tears. You turned around slowly, the house was dark and you couldn’t bring yourself to open the curtains to allow the remaining light from the sun to enter the house.

The ache in your chest throbbed slightly, and you placed a hand over your chest.

You were a fool.

An utter coward who couldn’t even confess to your SOULmate because you feared a rejection that would have never happened.

You stepped away from the front door, heading towards your bedroom, but you hesitated near Grillby’s door. You hadn’t been inside since he had occupied it. You slowly reached up and touched the wooden door. It hadn’t been properly latched and swung slowly open with the barest of effort. The scent of smoke was stronger in the room, and you hesitantly stepped inside. There was something different to the smell of smoke that came from Grillby, sweeter almost and never made your eyes water. Even if any type of smoke reminded you of him, stepping into his room you could close your eyes and just...imagine he was there with you.

When your eyes opened, however, you were just more disappointed that he wasn’t.

You missed how warm the room was when he was there.

You missed the quiet ambience.

It had been eighteen months.

Now...you might never see him again.

Tears blurred your vision and you stumbled over to his bed. It was much larger and higher set compared to yours, and you might’ve felt a bit childish climbing onto it, but you shoved that feeling aside. The bed was covered with a thin blanket but plenty of pillows that had you chuckling wetly. A fire elemental wouldn’t even need a blanket except in the coldest of days, but obviously Grillby was a monster who enjoyed comforts. You wiped lightly at your eyes.

As you gently laid down onto the mountain of pillows, your cheek hit paper instead of soft fabric. A confused hum left your mouth and you reached up to pull away a letter.

It didn’t take long for you to recognize your name written in Grillby’s handwriting, and your breath caught in your throat. You sat up, fingers tracing the lettering. Feeling the gently dip where the pen scraped along the paper. You didn’t know if you should open it, even if it was addressed to you. What if he hadn’t meant for you to read it? Words written but never meant to be read? Still...even if you knew him to be alive, you might never see him or hear his voice again.

Eighteen months.

You flipped it around and cracked open the wax seal.

You longed to hear his voice, but for now you would settle with only reading his writing and imagine his voice. It was written in his own language, so you knew it would take forever for you to read fully…but it didn’t matter. You settled in against his pillows, inhaling the smoky scent that lingered. It was comforting and saddening at the same time. For a just a moment, your vision blurred with unshed tears as you just examined the familiar curved lettering that you had slowly learned to read what seemed like a lifetime ago. Swallowing thickly, you blinked back what remained of your tears and began to read.

 _I hate to be writing this, but I do not know when you will be returning to the capital. Hopefully, you never read these words and I am there to greet you when you return...or you are here to greet_ me _when I return._

_King Riagol is going to meet with the human King to discuss a peace treaty, he is taking myself, Gaster, and a handful of others with him to the meeting. He is leaving behind Asgore, Nindree, and others to not have everyone he trusts and knows will help Asgore flourish as King in case something happens. I know if you were here, you’d be offering to go while secretly fearing the mere thought of going within a hundred feet of your old king. If you happen to read this and I am alright just late in returning, and grumbling that you would have gone, know that King Riagol told myself and Nindree that he would’ve made you stay here. You are technically a traitor...and that wouldn’t go over well during peace talks._

_I am..._

There were a few dots of ink beside a collection of scribbled out words. Most of them, though hard to make out, might have been different words for ‘afraid’. The thought made your chest clench uncomfortably.

_...conflicted about the meeting. I do not generaly trust humans, and I trust the humans in positions of power even less. However, the King refuses to not go, and I do agree that the chance for peace is too important to pass up._

The ink changed slightly in pigment and thickness, reminding you of times when you left a letter half-finished to do something, only to return to find your ink had dried out because you had forgotten to stopper it properly. You ran your fingers along the page.

_It’s time like these that makes me realize how wholly you have become part of my life. For a week after you had left, I had made enough food for three people, only to remember halfway through cooking that you weren’t there to eat it. Though, and do not tell Nindree or I’ll never hear the end of it, I suppose I was too caught up in my memories. Nindree never complained when she got a bigger meal than normal._

_I miss hearing you move about the house, or coming home and seeing you practicing your spells in the living room. Your laughter as you joked around with Nindree while I was making dinner. The house feels empty with you...and when Nindree was still living here with me I could at least ignore the spaces that you would have once filled. Now, the house feels less like a home and for a while I was debating whether I should stay with my sister and her family. (I am an uncle! My sister has not come up with a name yet, but I love the little SOUL with all of my own. Her Egg is a bright green! It’s beautiful, I can’t wait to introduce you to them all.)_

You smiled at that, a small thing. You could almost imagine Grillby’s flames snapping erratically with his happiness as he wrote that. There was one time when you couldn’t distinguish a happy Grillby from an irritated one…and you felt some tears slip from your eyes as you continued to read.

_I do not want to think of the what ifs...but that is what this letter was for originally. Not to fill you in on things that I could tell you when we see each other next._

_I am leaving tomorrow, and I hope that I see even a glimpse of you before I go, but I know the chances are slim. I want to say these words out loud to you but there is a chance I won’t._

_I am a fool. I knew you were my SOULmate from the moment I laid eyes on you that day in the feast. You were beautiful but I could tell you were uncomfortable around so many people...and I could not believe my SOUL longed for a humans. I had half the mind to break off our connection then and there, but Nindree immediately sensed that shift in my SOUL. She told me to not give up on a SOULmate before I even talked to them. Then again, she was not aware that my SOUL was pining after a human, but I do not think she would’ve changed her mind._

_I refused to acknowledge it, even when you ran into that downpour to deliver our horses to us (and yes, I am well aware that you’re afraid of horses-_

“Am not,” you mumbled, your body releasing a silent laugh through your tears. You wiped at them with your wrist, a fruitless effort as more replaced them within seconds. Your chest was swelling with affection and happiness as your eyes drifted slowly over his familiar flowing writing, but there was an ache deep down. It served as a dull reminder of why you were reading these words instead of hearing them.

_-and before you say you’re not. You’re always tense around them and on them. At least around our horses? Perhaps it’s because they’re larger?) I didn’t want to get close to you, didn’t want to admit what you could mean to me. Nindree has an impeccable sense of knowing how to push me straight over my boundaries and managed to wrangle us into seeing you at least once whenever we were in the Ebott area._

_I started to fall for you that week I stayed with you. Even injured you were worried about my comfort, and fretting over your animals. The small smile on your face when you would pat Lady, or your scolding tone when you would get bit by Bitey. When you snuck out the window in that one morning to avoid waking me up._

_I cannot place a finger on when exactly I fell for you as utterly and completely as I am currently, but I know when I realized it. When that arrow pierced your shoulder. I lost myself temporarily, my only thought was to keep you safe and kill those who would harm you. I was lost afterwards because I do not know anything about human bodies, I could not heal your hurts or know what to do. (Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve pulled the arrow from your shoulder, perhaps it would’ve stopped the poison from spreading through your body? )_

_If I do not return, and you do read this...I will not burden you with lamenting about how I wish the future could have been._

_If I do dust...I hope to the stars and beyond that you find someone worthy of your strength, preservation, and love. I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hope that you find the future I wished for monsters._

_Yours Forever,_

_Grillby._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crying a bit.
> 
> My [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	18. A Royal Letter

A letter arrived from the human kingdom. An either very unlucky or someone who had the unfortunate luck of pissing off the human king had been sent alone into the Monster Kingdom. You had seen the human enter the city flanked by some of the Royal Guards who had been out on patrol, they were hulking dog-like monsters who you knew were way more friendly than the man riding his horse seemed to find them. The moment you identified him as human and not monster, you plucked the mask from your hip and covered your face with it. However, his eyes made contact with yours as you stood next to Cherja by the front gate, and they widened almost comically.

Cherja slipped into the gatehouse to inform their SOULmate that a human was being escorted into the city. You heard Nindree curse loudly, and you felt the corner of your quirk up slightly.

“What is a woman doing with these beasts?” the man whispered hurriedly, eyes flicking around to the various ‘beasts’ well within hearing range. You crossed your arms loosely and leaned back against the gatehouse, and didn’t say anything. Until you knew what _he_ wanted, you weren’t going to say a damn thing. Let him think whatever he wanted to think.

Nindree stepped out of the door next to you, straightening to her full height which towered well above you. Her eyes narrowed in on the human and she strode over. The horse reared slightly, and the man still had half a mind to soothe the horse. Nindree spoke in the language that the dog monsters typically spoke, and they responded easily. Honestly, it was more of just wolf noises, but you had begun to understand it was more in body language and context. Once she was finished, her eyes turned back to the human.

He paled instantly, and his eyes flicked back towards you. “Tell it I mean no harm.”

You cleared your throat, “Uh…she can fully understand you.”

Nindree snapped her fingers, and then pointed at herself, “I’m the Captain of the Royal Guard. Who are you, and why the HELL are you in my city?”

Stammering he blurted out, “T-The n-n-name’s Hath…William Hath,” his eyes flicked back towards you, “uh…I-I have a…a le-le-le-le“

“Letter?” you offered.

“Yes! A letter!” he reached towards his horse’s saddlebag, but he moved way too fast and Nindree snatched his wrist before he could do so. Whatever expression on her face seemed to scare the hell out of the man. Her other hand rose up and flipped open the saddle and pulled out a letter from the bag. The man swallowed thickly, and you could see sweat starting to drip down the side of his head. “I-I’m ju-just the me-me-messen-messenger, Sir!”

Nindree made a humming noise in her throat as she flipped the letter over before letting him go. “Hey, what’s this say?”

It took you a second before you realized she was addressing you, and only after Cherja gave you a gentle nudge with their elbow. You walked over leisurely, and took the letter from Nindree. “It’s addressed to Prince Asgore,” you explained, “Well, it’s addressed to The Acting Monarch. I guess whoever wrote this doesn’t know Asgore’s name,” you mumbled, flipping it over and your stomach dropped into your stomach. “Ah…it’s…uh…from the human king. That’s the Royal Crest.”

Nindree’s head turned towards you, her face surprisingly blank. Then she gave you a grin, and you returned it with a confused look of your own. “Hey, wanna keep a human busy for a while?”

Your smile fell instantly, “Uh, not real-“

“Great! Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere,” Nindree clapped your shoulder, and then strode off. You turned towards Cherja and they gave you an exasperated sigh before following after Nindree.

You slowly turned back around to look up at the messenger. Not only were you in a general bad mood lately with how useless you felt while Grillby, Gaster, and who else could be being tortured. You could very faintly feel the connection, but you couldn’t tell what was going on. Vivaldi had said that Gaster was far enough away that their connection was incredibly dampened as well. Besides, you…really weren’t comfortable around other humans. You hadn’t been since you had run away from the Citadel years ago. Though, you did pause at that thought and looked up at him, eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“What year is it, by human standards?” you asked, at least this man could be useful in a way. He told you and your eyebrows flew up. You’d kind of stopped really paying attention to years, you’d roughly guess that it had been thirteen or fourteen winters since you left the Citadel…and you were right. It had been fourteen years.

Oh…so you were thirty now. Wow…

“What month and day?”

He answered, and your eyebrows rose slightly.

It would be nearly twenty-six years in a month since you had woken up in the Citadel.

“Are you okay?” he quickly whispered, “Are they forcing you to be their translator? How long have you been here?”

“Yes. No. A while.”

“Do you need help?”

“Yeah, but not from you.”

That got him to pause, and you saw the wheels churning in his head. “From who?”

“I’m trying to rescue the man who I’m interested in courting,” you explained, “but you can’t help.”

His eyebrows came together, “Is he here in this…uh…place?”

“No, and just so you know, pretty much all these monsters can hear you,” you gestured around. His eyes widened and he looked around, more sweat dripping from his face. “Oh, for fucks sake, relax a bit. They’re not going to eat you.”

That didn’t seem to soothe him at all.

Weird.

Cherja came slithering back, and they gave you a withered look. “Your presssenccce isss requesssted.”

“Figured out that nobody else can read human languages?” you asked, which earned you the _smallest_ of smirks from Cherja.

“How did you figure that out?” they questioned before glancing over at the human. “The King requessstsss your presssenccce asss well.”

The man sweated, hard.

You took the reins from his grasp easily, flipped them over the horses head, and started following after Cherja. The man (you should probably stop referring to him as ‘the man’ in your head, he did have a name. You…what was it? Willy? Yeah, go with that. He’d correct you if it was wrong. Right?) was quietly trying to convince you to just get on the horse behind him and then the two of you could ride out and back towards the human kingdom. You _pointedly_ ignored him.

It didn’t take you long at all to get to Toriel’s home, and you tied the horse up to a post that held up a small awning above her door. Cherja stared at Willy with their face only showing slight distaste for the human, a surprisingly guarded monster they were. Though, you didn’t bother pointing that out to Willy, you didn’t even know if he would be able to tell that they were displaying any emotion. Hell, you could be totally misreading their facial features and just thinking they were showing distaste. You hadn’t known them long enough to exactly name their emotions yet.

Willy reluctantly got off his horse, and stuck uncomfortably close to you as the two of you headed into Toriel’s home.

All eyes turned towards the two of you, but you ignored it and headed straight over to Asgore and the letter.

He handed it over without complaint, but his eyes narrowed at seeing the man who was practically glued to your back at this point. You unfolded the edges slightly, and cleared your throat ready to read it aloud. Then Willy actually touched you and your elbow jerked back immediately into his stomach. There was a choked noise and then he stumbled back slightly.

“Do you make it a habit to be so clingy? Back off,” you snapped, “I don’t know you, sir, and would appreciate some space.”

His eyes widened again, and he seemed to curl into himself.

You grumbled curses and stepped closer to Toriel, she placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, and you froze at seeing the writing. This…wasn’t from the King. This was from the Grandmaster Sage. How? Since when was he allowed to send messages with the Royal Crest? All letters sent out from the Citadel were marked with the Citadel Crest which, while it did sport a smaller Royal Crest in the center, it was remarkably different to the naked eye.

“What is it?” Asgore asked, a deep concerned frown washing over his face.

You turned towards Willy, “Who handed you this letter?”

“They were from the Citadel,” he explained quietly, “I’m just the messenger.”

Useless….to you at least. Messengers rarely asked questions, the less they knew the more likely they were to get out of the situation with all their limbs still attached if they were delivering bad news.

“The Citadel?” Asgore parroted, and settled back into his chair. He shared a worried look with his fiancé, and you turned away from Willy so he didn’t see the firm set in your jaw or how your hands shook.

_I,_ _Valere Marquis the Grandmaster Sage of the Citadel Hierarchy, would to inform you that the Citadel hath in its possession three monsters whom were with the 'royal' party. We never recognize monster’s names nor status within the human kingdom as carrying any weight, alas, they informed us of their names and titles._

_King Ryegol Dreamer_

_Sir Grillbee Flamesman_

_Lord Wingsdings Gastor_

_We captured them after an attack that endangered His Majesty, King Fredrick The Third, during our mutual talks of peace 'twixt our two kingdoms._

_Due to this great insult, His Majesty hath requested the Citadel to detain them and send a letter of present surrender of the monster people to His Majesty for proper ruling, else we shall execute those we currently hast detained as punishment for their crimes against His Majesty and those whom accompanied him in these talks of peace._

_If you doth surrender, they shall be returned only after the official surrender hath been created._

_Respond presently, or it shall force His Majesty’s hand_

Rage consumed you by the time you were finished reading, but you swallowed it down like a bitter pill. There was no way you would speak out right now, not in front of the other human in the room. Asgore rubbed his face and let out a deep sigh, “Tori, can you get a piece of parchment and some ink?”

Toriel nodded, and headed off deeper into her house. You shared a glance with Nindree briefly, and then gestured towards one of the chairs. “May I sit?”

Asgore waved a hand towards it vaguely, “No need to ask.”

You sat down, and looked briefly at Willy who looked increasingly like he was about to pass out from fright. “Uh…do you want something to drink? Don’t want you passing out on us…or some food? I don’t think Lady Toriel will have any human food, but she should be able to-“

Willy gave you a dark look that surprised you, “I won’t eat their devil food.”

“Well, that’s rude,” Nindree grumbled, glaring down at him, “that’s not how you decline a hosts offer of food,” you saw something pass over her face, and she grinned. Her hands went to her hips and she leaned down slightly, “Here, I’ll show you. Ask me if I want something to eat!”

His eyes widened again, and you swore they were going to burst if he got any more scared. “U-Uh…d-do-do you wa-want s-some food?”

“No! Thank you for your kind offer,” Nindree said, her voice sickly sweet. “Now, you try!”

“N-N-No…tha-thank you…f-for your…kind o-offer,” he stammered out quietly.

“Nindree,” you called out to her, and her eyes flashed over to meet yours. You inclined your head briefly towards Willy and then shook your head. She frowned slightly before sighing heavily and straightening, returning her arms to a crossed position. “Her bark is…sometimes worse than her bite.”

That didn’t soothe him either.

Toriel returned with the parchment and ink and placed them on the table.

Asgore switched to speaking the more common monster tongue, “ _We cannot accept the terms of surrender_.”

Nindree nodded solemnly, “ _Even…even if Grillby, Riagol, and Gaster are collateral…we cannot put their lives in front of thousands of other lives.”_

You remained silent, steeling your face into blank disinterest. As if you _couldn’t_ understand it. You understood them…but you couldn’t speak their language easily at all, and you didn’t want Willy to gather what was going on in the conversation by your own reactions.

“ _We cannot surrender. They’re already slaughtering us, I’ve gotten word from the Sea Kingdom that the humans are starting to go after them as well. If we surrender, who knows what they will do to our people? They’ve already tortured, experimented, and worse on so many of us. We can discuss our next steps later, but first…we must respond to the King,”_ Asgore glanced over at you then, “ _Lionheart, can you write a message to the human king for me?_ ”

You nodded in agreement, then after a moment of set up, you nodded towards him for him to begin dictating. He spoke in monster tongue, so you had to think through each sentence through first to translate it to the common language that the King would be able to understand.

You tasted bile, and you hated yourself for writing a letter that condemned Grillby and the others to death…and your hand was shaking. Asgore placed a hand over your wrist to stop you, his eyes were kind and full of empathy. “ _I wouldn’t ask this of you if I could write it myself.”_

You nodded, and continued.

Once it was completed, you handed the quill over to Asgore for him to sign the letter before it was sealed with a wax and the Royal Crest and handed to Willy. You watched with a heavy SOUL as Nindree escorted Willy out of Toriel’s home, and the room fell to silence. Cherja was waiting by the door, and you exchanged a look with them before you turned back towards Asgore.

“I know that you don’t want to risk open war…or risk lives attempting a rescue of Riagol, Grillby, and Gaster…but allow me to go. I _know_ the Citadel, I can get in and find a way to get them out,” you begged, grasping at Asgore’s larger hands. “Please…I can do it.”

Asgore glanced at Toriel, before he shook his head.

“I won’t risk it…not even for my own father. You told me yourself this Grandmaster has the ability to alter your mind. I cannot risk him catching you and turning you against us,” he said, and then gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m…truly sorry.”

“Asgore! Please!” you begged, voice tight as you leaned towards him, “I can’t let them face what the Grandmaster will do to them. I won’t…I can’t allow them to go through that. Not Grillby. Not Riagol. Not Gaster. Not even just because I know them, but they are Boss Monsters. Do you know how long he’s been wanting to capture one of you? He’s only studied lower level monsters…imagine the knowledge he’d get from studying any of them?”

Asgore looked at the ground, “I…don’t want that either.”

“Then I will go, and I will figure out a way to get them out,” you promised, giving his hand a squeeze in return. Hope blossomed in your chest.

“You’re a part of this Kingdom…” Asgore said with a sigh, glancing over at Cherja before looking back at you. “Would you say that?”

“Yes, with no hesitation,” you promised him.

“Then…as your King, I order you to stay in the city.”

“Asgore!” you blurted out, and he held up a large paw.

“You’re a powerful mage, and we cannot risk any more enemies against our people. We will need you in the upcoming months if we are to survive this…and I have already sent a message out to the Sea Kingdom requesting aid in sailing as many of my people across the ocean to find safe haven somewhere else. I cannot risk you as the King, and I cannot ask you to go on a suicide mission as your friend,” Asgore said, his voice soft. “Please…I understand the pain that everyone else in mourning is going through…we can’t lose anymore.”

You swallowed back your tears and removed your hands from Asgore’s.

“Swear to me you won’t go after Grillby,” Asgore said, voice fully a King’s.

Bitter anger settled in your chest as you glared at him, for a moment you said nothing. Then you stood up sharply, “I…won’t go after Grillby.”

You spun on your heel and stormed from the house.

Cherja followed hot on your heels, grabbing your shoulder and stilling you. “You aren’t going to do anything…ssstupid are you?”

“I don’t go back on my word, if that’s what you’re saying, I said I wasn’t going to go after Grillby…so I won’t,” you spat out, knowing full well that your anger was being misdirected on the snake monster. But there was nowhere else your anger could go right now. Maybe Nindree would be off shift soon and you could spar with her...or Gerson was staying in the city for the foreseeable future, you might go and lament to him…he would know what to do.

Cherja tilted their head, “but not the othersss?”

You frowned and hesitated, “True…but he’s there too.”

You swore you almost saw a flicker of mischeviousness to their features, “Tricky thing promisssesss. You ssswore not to go after Grillby…but if you go after the King?”

They let the words hang in the air for a moment, and then you glanced back at Toriel’s home. “I…guess…that’s true.”

“Ah…in that cassse, meet me at the docksss after nightfall…there isss sssomething I wisssh to ssshow you,” Cherja said, their voice not shifting away from their normal cadence and level…but there was the softest shift in their scales that betray something…suspicious in their features. Still, you had only known them for a week at most at this point, and so you sighed.

“Nightfall?” you repeated and they nodded, almost too eagerly. “Alright. Fine. I’ll show up.”

“Good,” Cherja said, before giving you the rarest of smiles and clapped your shoulder almost as roughly as Nindree would. It forced you off balance, more out of surprise than anything else. Before you could question what was with the sudden embodiment of Nindree was about, they turned tail and quickly started slithering away back towards the gatehouse.

After watching them go, you sighed out deeply and headed off to find Gerson.

He treated you to tea and told you exactly what you didn’t want to hear.

“If the King gives ya a direct order, kiddo, ya follow it…and I know ya don’t want me to say it, but I agree wit’him.”

You had nearly broke the tea cup with your anger and after downing the burning liquid you stormed from the caravan. While you were living with the monsters, you didn’t have an official job besides odd jobs that needed a bit more of a magical touch or farming assistance. Right now? You didn’t have anything to distract yourself.

So, you stormed up the mountain to the spot you had sat with Grillby so many months ago. The ground seemed to rumble beneath your feet and you kept pausing to see if there was an Earthquake…but nothing. You grew even more frustrated by the time you reached the spot and you paced.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Until the sun had set and you remembered that Cherja had wanted to see you at the docks.

You grumbled…debated not going…but you were too wound up to sleep. You had to do something to occupy your thoughts, or you’d end up rearranging your entire home before Gri- You cut that line of thought off. Grillby wasn’t coming back.

You had to realize that.

Asgore condemned him to death….and you had written the letter.

The thought made your SOUL _burn_ , and so you shoved the thoughts away as hard as you could and hurried down towards the docks. It took nearly ten minutes and by the time you turned the corner to look over the docks, there were a few lanterns lit and most daytime monsters were off in their homes.

Cherja waved at you the moment they saw you, and your eyes caught the familiar sight of Vivaldi standing beside her. There was something unfamiliar about her. Instead of her typical flowing dresses, she was wearing trousers. You couldn’t see how they were staying up on her thin form, as a large dark tunic was over top of them. She was adjusting a cloak around her shoulders when she gave you a smirk.

“Uh…so you wanted to show me, Viv in pants?” you asked, walking up slowly and crossing your arms. “Why couldn’t this have been done in the daytime?”

“You know the Citadel?” Viv asked, placing her hands on her hips. You slowly nodded, and when you did she clapped her hands together, before gesturing to the boat,“Good! Get in the boat.”

“Uh…wait…what?” you blurted out, a bit too loudly as both Viv and Cherja shushed you. Cherja gestured to the small boat behind the two of them; their tail was curled around it keeping it in place.

“The boat. Get in,” Viv repeated.

“Oh…kay, but I did _just_ tell Asgore that I wouldn’t go after Grillby,” you said, jerking a thumb over your shoulder, “Not saying that I’m not going to get in the boat, but won’t it be suspicious if I just disappear the next day for a while? He’s going to figure it out really quickly.”

“And?” Cherja said, and you heard a bit of impatience creeping in their voice, “I can ssswim very fast.”

“SO! What the FUCK is going on!” Nindree growled as her arm wrapped around your neck and yanked you into a loose chokehold. You startled, jerking your elbow back and wincing as it hit solid metal of her breast plate. She didn’t even flinch.

“They are going to get the King, Gassster, and Grillby back,” Cherja informed, straightening up to their full height and then some so they were taller than Nindree. It was more defensive looking than aggressive, but either way it intimidated _you_. “I am taking them.”

“Cherja,” Nindree growled, “the King told them _both_ not to. This could get them KILLED, or WORSE. Let go of the boat before I tell Asgore what the FUCK you’re doing.” This…was probably the first time you’d ever heard Nindree _mad_. Her arm tightened ever so slightly on your neck as you moved to pull away. Her eyes dropped down to you and the small white pupils were nearly non existant. It made you attempt to shrink away but her arm tightened again to the point of discomfort.

“AND YOU! What the hell are you doing???? You promised Asgore you wouldn’t! The Grandbastard could do that fucked up shit to you and then what? I’d lose both my best friends, and they might find Cherja and kill them as well! I’d lose EVERYONE I care about! OUR KID! CHERJA, WOULD GROW UP WITHOUT A PARENT AND WITHOUT THEIR UNCLE AND AUNT!!!! AND VIVALDI! GASTER! You’re SON would be parentless! Do you want _me_ to explain to Sans why the fuck you left him alone?”

Viv opened her mouth to argue but Cherja placed their hand on her shoulder.

“I am doing it becaussse King Riagol isss more ressspected than hisss ssson, he can get more monssstersss to fight, to protect. Gassster isss a brilliant tactician, and Grillby isss one of our top fightersss,” Cherja explained, moving closer and placing their hand on Nindree’s cheek. “It isss the bessst future for the next generation of monssstersss.”

“We don’t get to make those decisions, Cherja,” Nindree said, voice steely…but you felt her starting to shift her weight. She couldn’t stand still when she was uncomfortable. “Come on. I’m taking you ALL to Asgore.”

“Would you do the sssame if it were me, Nin?” Cherja asked their voice incredibly soft as their body slowly shifted lower. “I know I would if it were you.”

Nindree tensed slightly, and then she cursed loudly. “YEAH! I WOULD!! But!!!”

“Nothing. You didn’t sssee usss,” Cherja leaned up and nuzzled Nindree’s face, “Let usss do thisss.”

A moment of silence.

“Only if you have a plan!” Nindree grumbled, “IF you don’t then there’s no fucking way I’m letting you all go.”

“I don’t even know what’s happening,” you squeaked out and Nindree finally released you.

“You know the Citadel, we get there, you get us in and to them, we grab them and get out,” Vivaldi explained, shrugging. “Solid enough plan. You put too much faith in a plan then you can’t figure out what to do when it goes south.”

You rubbed your temples, “I kind of agree with Nindree here. We need a better plan. The Citadel is like a prison…it’s easy to get in, but incredibly difficult to get out. Viv and Cherja can’t go in the city or we’ll be caught-“

“I can,” Viv said, gesturing to her outfit, when she pulled the hood up in the dark moon light you could almost pass her off for a very skinny male human. “I just need to stick to the shadows, and with my teleportation skill, I can get them out of the city faster and decrease the risk of them being spotted.”

“How many people can you teleport?”

“Three? I haven’t tried more than three,” she held up three fingers. The bony digits would instantly clue someone into the fact that she wasn’t human...even if they ignored the abnormal thinness to her stature. You removed your gloves and handed them to her, she tugged them on and thanks to the size difference, the gloves just about fit. They would slip off if she wasn’t careful, but if she needed to gesture to something no one would see bony fingers.

“Teleport Riagol and Wingding then return for Grillby and Lionheart,” Cherja suggested, and you nodded in agreement.

“The King takes priority,” you murmured, “If worse comes to worse, I can figure out a way to smuggle Grillby out of the city myself.”

Viv’s eye light flickered away before meeting yours, “I don’t want to seem like I’m putting Gaster’s life about Grillby’s or yours. But…if I do have to choose, it’ll be Gaster…”

You bit back the instant wish to point out the redundancy of the previous statement, and instead nodded. It wasn’t a malicious statement, and you honestly agreed. If you were forced to choose one monster to save in the Citadel? It’d be Grillby. As long as you couldn’t find a way to save them all, it would always be Grillby. Even if the thought of leaving the others behind made your stomach churn in disgust at that thought…you’d do your best to save them all.

“Alright, that’s a plan,” Viv said, looking over at Nindree, who had crossed her arms and was glaring.

“THAT! IS NOT A PLAN!!!”

“It’s a plan, little…y’know skimpy on the details, but it’s still a plan, Nindree,” Vivaldi said, before turning around and climbed into the small boat. Nindree let out a frustrated shriek.

“Still would like a better plan,” you said, gesturing towards Nindree in agreement. You were…stalling. There was a deep rooted fear of going back to the Citadel…and you didn’t want to go in without a solid plan that you could focus on. Normally you were all for doing things spur of the moment as it _prevented_ you from second guessing…but this? There were more Mages and guards in the capital than there were monsters living in the monster capital.“Can you teleport to some place you’ve never been? If not, then there is very limited ways to get you into the Citadel.”

Vivaldi nodded, surprisingly, “As long as the person I’m with has been there, I can get there. I’ll tell you how later, but right now, I’d rather we be heading down the river towards the human capital _before_ my husband is dusted.”

Nindree tapped her foot rapidly before dropping her crossed arms, “FINE! But! What about Sans? What’s he doing?”

“Gerson’s looking after him,” Viv said dismissively, and you glanced over at Nindree before sighing and heading towards the boat.

You…hesitated by the edge of the boat. You’ve…never been on one…before…

Cherja slithered into the water beside you. Using one hand to steady the boat, they extended their other towards you. It’s okay. Vivaldi got in just fine. You could do it too. It’d be easy. All you had to do was sit. Slowly, you took their hand and slowly took a step forwards into the water. You placed a hand on the side of the boat, and one in Cherja’s extended reach, and placed your foot into the boat.

So far so good.

Then the boat shifted under your foot.

Nope.

Fuck that.

You skittered backwards so fast, you tripped on the shore. Nindree caught you before you could fall on your ass, thankfully, and you clung to her arm.

“What isss wrong?” Cherja asked, their scales shifting in confusion.

“Is a boat really faster than a cart?” you asked, staring down at the wooden thing.

It was so flimsy! It could be bashed apart by rocks! Capsized! You could drown! You didn’t know how to swim! There was never a need to. Oh gods. You weren’t getting in that boat.

“Yesss, with me sssteering it,” Cherja explained.

“It’s for Grillby,” Vivaldi insisted, “Get in the boat for Grillby’s life.”

A heartbeat passed, millions of scenarios of the boat ride going wrong flitted through your head. In the end, however, Grillby’s face appeared and you felt your resolve harden. You were getting in this gods damned boat if it was the last thing you did. With a clenched jaw, you stiffly moved back towards the boat. When the boat shifted under your added weight, you still jumped, but you didn’t flee, just froze. Cherja kept a strong hand on your arm until you were seated stiffly on the floor of the boat. They had both attempted to get you to sit on one of the seats, but you refused. There was no way you were going to be seated elevated in this flimsy thing.

Nindree stepped into the water and placed a hand on your shoulder, “I still don’t like this, but…bring that fiery bastard back alive. Same with the King and Gaster. But…don’t be fucking dumb, got it? I don’t want **any** of you dying.”

You nodded stiffly, “As long as the boat doesn’t flip over.”

“Cherja will catch you if it does,” Nindree said with a wicked grin, “their mom was a siren.”

“That doesn’t help,” you mumbled under your breath knowing fully well that Nindree was trying to get you to chicken out. If you didn’t go then the others had to rethink their plan, which meant that they wouldn’t go.

You weren’t going to give up on Grillby. Even if it meant a terrifying boat ride.

You were so focused on not shifting you weight from the center of the boat, that you missed Cherja and Nindree sharing a quick tender moment. Their foreheads pressed together in a soft nuzzle before Nindree kissed Cherja’s head and whispered something to them before Cherja laughed softly. The affectionate noise drew you from your hyper focus of not tipping the boat, but only temporary.

Cherja placed their hands onto the boat, there was a tiny lurch as the boat moved away from shore. It started drifting slightly with the current, and you relaxed ever so slightly. This wasn’t so bad.

Until…you felt a burst of magic behind you before the boat launched forwards. It was going way too fast! You’d never gone this fast before, and it was terrifying. The mist of water splashing up made you flinch. Your fingernails dug into the wooden seat beside Vivaldi, who gently patted your arm and told you it was alright.

You were going to die in this dinky little boat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop shit's getting realllllllllllllll.
> 
> My [tumblr](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	19. Breaking In

“This is all a very bad plan,” you grumbled to yourself, washing your face and mouth clean. Apparently, the motion of the boat did not agree with you at all, and the result of that? You did a very human thing and vomited over the side of the boat, eliciting cries of shock and disgust from both Vivaldi and Cherja. Now, you sat back in the sand and looked up at the stone wall that surrounded the capital.

They were tall and massive stretching around the entire city. Inside, there was two more walls that were thinner and shorter separating the different sections away from each other. As tall as the walls were, you could still see the tallest tower of the castle, and the tallest tower of the Citadel reaching high above everything else. A menacing presence over everything and everyone, and a massive city it was.

The only time you had been in the city itself was when you were dressed in servant rags and trying to escape the city. Fearful for your life if the Grandmaster or the guard would catch you. You never really thought of your actual escape or the months after it while you were hiding in the wood, cold, afraid, and alone. Or hiding in alleyways at night and trying to keep quiet as your teeth clattered and your hands shook. Or stealing food to eat and being chased by angry guards until you lost them.

You forced your mind away from those thoughts, and instead to better times. As far and few as they were. You could remember your old bedroom window looked out over the city, and once upon a time you loved to look out at night and see the tiny torch lights glittering over the city on clear nights. Or when you were younger and had spare time so you’d spend time with some of the other mage children. The freckled-faced boy came to mind, but you couldn’t remember his actual name, though you knew it. He had followed you around like a duckling, but it had never annoyed you.

“Cherja will stay here with the boat for a week, if we don’t come back out, she’ll head back to the capital without us,” Vivaldi interrupted your quiet remembrance and you looked over your shoulder at her.

“Hopefully it doesn’t take us a week,” you mumbled, more to yourself, but Vivaldi nodded in agreement.

You glanced around to ask Cherja if they would be alright for the week, but you couldn’t see them. At all. You frowned, and peered up at Vivaldi. “Where…?”

There was a shifting and then what had looked to just be rocks turned the reddish tone of Cherja’s scales and then their head lifted from the stones. That was…so fucking cool. You’d be more excited about learning that talent if you weren’t so thrown about the boat situation, and if you weren’t trying your hardest not to think of what was happening to Riagol, Grillby, and Gaster in the Citadel.

After a brief review of the very simple plan, you led Vivaldi towards the wall, being mindful of the guards that were posted atop it. There wasn’t too much worry as there wasn’t any reason for the city to be on alert. It wasn’t as if there was any immediate threat to the city, as far as you were aware. Asgore would never risk the lives of the monsters with a direct attack against the capital. There were far more humans willing…or conscripted rather, to fight than there were monsters.

Your heart was pounding wildly in your chest as you stared up at the large stone wall. You placed a hand against it, and you could feel small vibrations from the stone. You frowned slightly, and was about to comment on it when Vivaldi placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Dings and I experimented with my teleportation skill a lot. I can travel up to one mile each time I teleport…and roughly up to five times a day? I can sometimes get six times out but then I pass out from overusing my magic,” she explained quietly to you, “It’s hard to explain how I can use someone else's memory of the place to teleport but it’s…we believe it’s through intent. A memory of the place that is strong enough has a certain…intent to it. I can use my magic to lock into the location through your memory and the intent that you were feeling then to pull us to that location. Is the Citadel close enough to teleport straight into?”

You didn’t respond right away, too busy thinking of the magical complexity that was Vivaldi’s main magical talent. That was really powerful, and you didn’t think any human mage could ever dream to replicate it since it was so heavily reliant on intent. You snapped out of that line of thinking before you could begin to wonder if she’d teach you since you were more able to feel intent than other humans.

“No, the Citadel is on the far side of the city against the shore. If I remember…the city wall is nine miles from the Castle??” you furrowed your brow as you recalled long ago history lessons that you were taught. Nine was considered a lucky number, and the King at the time had been afraid of invaders and the like so he thought that building the city walls nine miles from the castle would help defend himself better. If you were remembering that history lesson correctly. It had been fourteen years, you could be pulling it out of your ass.

Vivaldi hummed lightly, “Alright…we should wait until nightfall before attempting to teleport in. If we can’t find a place near the wall to teleport into, I can attempt to teleport to the top of the wall. More likely to be caught but…” she shrugged, “I can teleport us immediately again within the city as long as I get a visual.”

“I thought you said it was memory-based teleportation?” you asked as you led her back into the cover of the forest.

“Only if it’s someone else's, I can’t rely on someone elses sight to teleport. My sight isn’t the best anymore so I try not to use my sight-based teleports, but if I have to? I will,” she said, looking back at you. The one eye light was a reminder of her abduction and subsequent torture. Sometimes you forgot that you had met her when you had rescued a cart full of monsters from a small jail cell in some smaller city.

This wasn’t going to be as easy. It couldn’t be. This was the Citadel and they’d be able to tell if you were to use spells against them. If you weren’t carefull they’d know you were there within minutes of your arrival, which worried you more than you wanted to admit to Viv. It was terrifying to know that you were closer to the Grandmaster than you had been in over a decade. Asgore was right…he could very well capture you and manipulate your mind to fight against the monsters instead of for them.

But, you couldn’t let Grillby and the others suffer in his hands.

You’d gladly give yourself over for their freedom if it was needed.

Even if it meant never seeing Grillby again, at least you’d know he was safe. They could figure out a way to get everyone as far from the human kingdom as they possibly could.

Night fell quickly, and neither you nor Vivaldi spoke the entire wait. You were too consumed by your own thoughts to ask Vivaldi any questions or strike up small talk. When the sun had set and shadows consumed the world, the two of you silently headed back over to the wall. As the sun dropped, so did the temperature. You could see the fog of your breath with each exhale, but none coming from Vivaldi. There was no reason for that, you already knew that monsters didn’t really breath air like you did. Vivaldi’s hands held onto your own as you reached into memories long shoved away for anything that could help you.

Memories of running through alley’s, stealing food, waiting for the perfect moment to escape flooded your mind.

There was a shifting sensation that made your stomach flip uncomfortably, and when your eyes blinked open you were standing in an alleyway that you’d much rather _not_ be in. You clamped down on the memories and instead focused up at Vivaldi ignoring everything else. “Remember, stay hidden. If even the smallest bone shows they’ll be on you faster than anything.”

She nodded, gazing around the alley a faint look of upset on her face. “You hate this alley…why?”

“Someone tried to rob me, and when they figured out I had nothing they beat me instead,” you mumbled. Little sixteen year old you who had only really been lightly injured during training classes had been nearly beaten to death in this very alley. If it wasn’t for the owner of the establishment beside it, you probably would’ve died.

Vivaldi’s eye sockets tightened and then she squeezed your hands gently, “We need to start heading towards the Citadel, can you lead the way?”

The hatred and fear that surrounded your SOUL did nothing but grow stronger at the thought of the Citadel. However, you nodded stiffly. You weren’t going to chicken out. You hooked your arm around Vivaldi’s and led her out of the alley and onto the main streets. Thankfully, it was dark enough that if the two of you stuck to the sides of the streets where there was less homes lit, then it would be harder for anyone to notice you. If anyone did? It would simply look like a woman was out on a night stroll with her very tall, thin husband. At least, that was your hope. Vivaldi’s appearance was fairly androgynous unless she were standing beside Gaster, then you could see the slight more ‘feminine’ qualities to her features.

You stayed focused on remaining calm and guiding the two of you close enough to the Citadel so Vivaldi could teleport you inside, which was much harder to do. You tensed whenever you saw a guard patrol, but they mainly just nodded at you or ignored the two of you. You’d nod and murmur a ‘good evening’ to them if they acknowledged you in anyway. Thankfully, none of the guards seemed to curious about why Vivaldi would turn her hood covered head away from them or not say anything.

Small blessings of a city that never faced any sort of threat due to it’s location and overall military and mage presence.

However, the longer you walked the later in the night it got and the guards started to pay more attention. You whispered to Vivaldi to put more of her weight on you and seem drunk. The scene shifted from a married couple going on an evening stroll to an irate wife bringing her drunk husband home. Guards would either give you a sympathetic look or tell Vivaldi off for drinking so much that ‘your poor wife has to drag your sorry ass home’. You’d wave off offers to help from some helpful guards and said that you worked at the quarry outside of town with your father and that you’ve carried heavier things than your scrawny husband.

There was no worry that the guards would collaborate with each other to confirm your story. You were just one of the various people wandering home from a ‘drunken night’, after all.

Finally, after two hours of walking the nearly nine mile, you turned Vivaldi down an alley that led straight to the wall of the Citadel. She stopped leaning against you the moment the two of you were in the dark and she analyzed the building ahead of her.

“So, this ‘Citadel’…what are the defences?” Viv asked you, placing her hands on her hips.

“Mages mostly, there are guards posted at the gate inside the Citadel to prevent random people from trying to enter.”

“Is it all warded against monster magic? Or will there be areas that I can teleport in? Should’ve thought to ask before really, but we’re here now,” she questioned, turning back to look down at you.

“It shouldn’t be, just the um…dungeon areas and I think there is an enchantment on the sea-side wall to prevent the sea-monsters from attempting anything,” you said, furrowing your brow in thought. The chances that they warded anything else was slim to none. There was no reason for them to do it because they would never think a monster would attempt to get in to rescue one of their own, nor did any monster ever escape once they’d been taken to the dungeons.

“Great, exactly where we need to go,” Vivaldi mumbled leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes and rubbed at her temple for a moment, “Is there…a servants quarters we can enter that we would be less likely to be noticed?”

You shook your head, “No servants, all the apprentices and novices are rotated through cleaning duties. There’s no one in there that isn’t a mage.”

“What’s the closest location you can think of that would be safe to teleport into?”

“Well…I have an idea, but you won’t like it,” you started and she gave you a glare.

“I am not pretending to be your captive,” she huffed, “That’s too likely to backfire.”

“I’m out of ideas,” you admitted, “I’m…kind of a go with my instincts kind of person and my instincts are telling me to get the hell out of here.”

Vivaldi was silent for a moment, “Okay, draw out the layout of the dungeon area for me.”

You looked up at her, and then hopped down from the barrel. There wasn’t anything around to etch into the dirt so you just used your fingernail to scratch the surface lightly. It was a vague recollection of the dungeons as you weren’t down there often when you were younger. At least, in the part of the dungeons where the three monsters would be kept. Still, that entire section of the Citadel was warded.

There were two ways down into the dungeons if you recalled correctly. There was the way to the cells, and there was a way to the other chambers where experimentations and tortures would take place. Though, to the mages, it was all the same. You explained that quietly to her, and then shifted over and drew the areas surrounding the dungeons. That layout was vaguer. There were vague memories of the other floors, strengthened only if you spent a lot of time near them to remember. Honestly, after the Grandmaster had chosen you to be his apprentice and started manipulating your memories you hadn’t been tasked to anything like cleaning because you had ‘better things to attend to’.

Something popped into your mind as you sketched out one of the hallways.

“This door led to a small yard where some of the novices would wash all the robes,” you recalled tapping the spot. “All the robes are the same size, you just use strings and a longer piece of coloured fabric to adjust it to your body. Each of the different levels of mages has different coloured fabric,” you explained, “The robes should be able to fit you, and since it’s cold enough to can wear the hood without drawing attention to yourself.”

“Won’t someone realize they don’t recognize you? Or that they recognize you too much?” Vivaldi questioned, crossing her arms and looking down at the map. “It’s the best plan so far, but I don’t want to risk anything.”

“Says the person who wanted to go in with barely any plan,” you half-joked, but continued on in a more serious voice, “There are a lot of Mages within the Citadel. It’s the biggest one in the world, so we- they got a lot of new faces regularly. If they don’t recognize me, as long as I’m wearing robes, they won’t question it, and as long as we keep moving on one will be able to look too long at you.”

A slow nod. “Alright, there won’t be anyone inside the yard? Have you been there before?”

“There shouldn’t be, there’s no reason to wash clothes at night. And I have, but the thing is…I don’t know if there is a memory in my mind strong enough for you to use?” you answered giving her an apologetic look as you scanned the roughly drawn map of the Citadel beneath you. There were large chunks missing that you knew was part of the interior but you couldn’t for the life of you remember what it looked like within. You were also not entirely sure that what you did draw was a hundred percent accurate or if little sixteen year old you just weren’t paying attention enough to her surroundings.

After ironing out a few more wrinkles, Vivaldi took your hand encouraged you to think of the nearest place to the yard as you could think of. Memories filled your head as you thought hard of the yard, and the surrounding rooms. There was the shift, darkness, and then you were standing on a balcony overlooking the ocean. Vivaldi’s head shifted towards the moonlight ocean and for a second her face softened, but then she released your hands and looked back down at you.

“First love?” she teased, “Grillby will be jealous.”

You flushed, and corrected, “First _crush_.”

As much as you wanted to continue being teased over what you had to do next, you swallowed back that idea and turned towards the doors that led back into the Citadel proper. 

“Stay behind me,” you murmured, hand shifting to the dagger on your hip feeling the warmth of the metal before slowly opening the door and peering down the hallway.

No one.

You stepped in and waited. There was, like always, a faint residue of magic in the air but there was nothing to suggest anything more than just a residue. You gestured towards Vivaldi and she crept in behind you. Her eye light was extinguished which, honestly, gave her a more eerie vibe than when it was lit. For a moment, her skull shifted slightly side to side before she jerked her head down the hall. She didn’t sense anything off either.

The two of you moved slowly and carefully down the hall, pausing at each juncture and peering down.

Honestly, there was no real reason to sneak. There wouldn’t be any guards patrolling down the halls. Not near the classrooms. If anything, there might be a Sage that would occasionally wander around the housing building to make sure some of the acolytes and novices weren’t sneaking out. You would _not_ take them anywhere near the housing building if you could help it.

Still, there was always the chance that someone could be unable to sleep and would head somewhere to practice a spell they were having trouble with, study, read, or just hang out away from the Sages who were strict about the curfew schedule. It brought back old memories. Good memories. Of sneaking out with the few friends you did make. Even if you weren’t incredibly close to them, they would still invite you to do things before the Grandmaster really started cracking down on what you could and couldn’t do.

It barely took any time to get to the small side yard, even if it felt like each second took a lifetime. Your heart hadn’t stopped pounding and you had to keep reminding yourself to breathe normally. Each junction made you hold your breath as if that could help you spot people easier.

You cracked open the door and peered out just in case. No one. You slowly inched outside and glanced at each window briefly.

“Wait here,” you whispered to Vivaldi when she crept out. She was in shadows so it would be harder to notice her if anyone passed by a window. You were beginning to think that there really was no one in this portion of the Citadel, but you weren’t going to risk her safety by assuming your safety.

Thankfully, there was no moon out tonight, and you were able to sneak over to where some robes were hanging up to dry. You didn’t really care if they were completely dry, you yanked them off the wire and then froze when it came to the coloured strips of fabric. You didn’t want to get a purple or blue as if anyone did see you? They’d be on you instantly. Though at the same time, you couldn’t wear brown or yellow or they might try to take you back to the housing if anyone did catch you.

In the end, you grabbed as many of the lengths as you could and hurried back over to Vivaldi.

“Can you tell colours in the dark?” you whispered, lifting the lengths towards her.

“Yeah, why?” she murmured, looking over the different lengths.

“Is there green or orange?”

A moment passed and she lifted two of the lengths making you release a breath. Thank god. You hurried back over and quickly hung up the remainder. The less you left a mess the longer it would take for people to realize what happened. You’d rather them think that the monsters you rescued had gotten inside help or had figured out a way to escape themselves rather than someone snuck into the Citadel.

When you got back to Vivaldi you led her into a separate room and the two of you stripped down your cloaks before pulling on the robes over top of your clothing. It took longer than you would’ve thought as you had to figure out a way to make Vivaldi’s robes look like there was flesh beneath it rather than empty space. You held your cloak out to her.

“Stuff this in your stomach cavity.”

“Excuse me?” she blurted out, voice shrill making you hush her immediately.

“The lengths need to be wrapped around your stomach, if there’s nothing to support it, it’ll either fall, gather, or be too tight and reveal that you don’t have anything,” you pointed out in a hiss, “If you have a different idea, let me know!”

Her eye sockets narrowed before she snatched your cloak, turned around and started doing as you asked. All the while grumbling about how this indignity was for Gaster’s life and if it wasn’t for the fact that she loved him with all her SOUL she’d never, ever do this, and if you brought it up to ANYONE she’d put a bone straight through your SOUL.

Unfortunately, even with your cloak stuffed underneath, the length still looked…odd. The cloak was too soft compared to a stomach. In the end, you got her to put her cloak back over her shoulders. It wasn’t often a mage would wear a cloak but you were willing to risk it. It was a very cold night so far.

You worried about Grillby more as you tucked your hands under the sleeves of your robes to keep them away from the cold ambient air of the empty building. Did his flames suffer from cold? Or did he not feel the chill at all?

You were so close…but yet so far from him.

“Now what? Down to the dungeons?” Vivaldi asked, shifting awkwardly and adjusting her fake stomach a few times. She looked downright miserable and you had half a mind just to tell her to wait where she was and you’d grab the others, but you knew she’d venomously reject that idea quickly.

“Yeah…there should be keys down there still. If not, we’ll have to make adjustments to the plan then,” you replied quietly, looking over to the door. “Let’s hope the rest of this goes as smoothly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOA! Almost forgot to update this woops! That would've broken my record of posting on time each week!
> 
> I'm almost done my self-tober thing and even if October is already done, I'll finish it! Trust me! You can check out the masterlist [HERE](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/post/188130110179/self-tober-2k19-masterlist)
> 
> Also! If you're interested, I'm taking reader related one-shot requests over on my [tumblr.](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	20. Old Friend

With the robes on, you and Vivaldi couldn’t risk sneaking around as that would draw even more attention to yourselves as merely walking. So, you told her to stick close and to walk at a leisurely pace before slipping from the room. It was just like in the city. If anyone spoke to the two of you, you would do all the talking, but this time, she needed to talk if anyone asked her a direct question.

It was stressful.

Yet, no one stopped you. You didn’t hear or see anyone as you walked, and there was no evidence that anyone was awake anyways.

However, once you got to the door leading down to the dungeons, you felt your stress fly through the roof. You’d never been down to the dungeons after dark before, and never without a Sage as it was against the rules. This was where your plan could fly straight out the window. Could there be guards down below, making sure the monsters stayed where they were supposed to during the night? Or were the humans so sure that the monsters couldn’t escape that they offered no presence during the night? You weren’t sure. You knew that there weren’t any guards posted during the day, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t have something at night.

Though, you would like to think that the Grandmaster would’ve mentioned that as you were supposed to take over his position when it was time.

You didn’t let your uncertainty stop you, however, as you headed down the stairs. You could feel Grillby’s SOUL more strongly even as muffled as it was by the runes preventing outward manifestations of magic in the dungeon. Vivaldi was right behind you, hand on your shoulder, letting you know how many more steps until the body quietly into your ear every so often. It was pitch black without any magical lights lighting the way for you in the dungeon. There wasn’t any need.

However, the absence of such lights just helped solidify the thought that there wasn’t anyone in the dungeons. Otherwise, there would be lights to help the other humans see around.

The actual cells were set up in one long hallway with two levels. Each side contained ten cells per level, making forty cells in total. You’d never seen them all filled, thankfully, but the fact that there were so many always unsettled you. Why would they need _forty_ cells? You shook that thought off.

At the bottom of the stairs, you froze momentarily as you spotted light. It wasn’t from any human, as your ears picked up the faint gentle ambient crackle. You moved to step forward, but Vivaldi grabbed your arm and gave you a look illuminated by the soft light from Grillby’s distant flame. She bent down to whisper, “Wait, this has been too easy; it could be a trap.”

Of course. You knew that. But…you wanted to make sure Grillby was alright as well. However, you weren’t an idiot.

The two of you waited, but as your eyes adjusted, you saw that there was nothing to indicate a trap. There was the ring of keys on a hook beside the door. After taking them, you gestured towards the cells and whispered, “slowly?”

A moment passed and then she nodded stiffly. The two of you crept forward slowly. Most of the cells were unoccupied, but you could almost feel the dust as you breathed. It seemed to be even worse than you remembered it being if that was even possible. You pressed your lips together tightly. Vivaldi’s head was turning back and forth, examining each cell thoroughly before moving to the next. Then, you finally stepped in front of the lit-up cell, and you inhaled sharply.

Grillby was laying on the small cot, his legs hanging off the end, and he looked…awful. He was stripped of his armour, leaving just his under armour on. His flames were dark and low, and you could see fresh strips of darkened flesh on his arms. Your hands grabbed at the bars immediately.

“Grillby!” you whispered as loud as you dared.

A heartbeat passed, and then his eyes slowly slid open.

“Grillby!” you urged again, and his eyes blinked slowly before his head shifted to look towards the bars.

Something else moved in the cell, and you glanced over to see a sleek white skull sitting up from the other cot. There was a large crack from one of his eye sockets up his head and the other socket had a crack down to his mouth. It looked almost as if someone attempted to split his skull in half. One of Vivaldi’s hands wrapped around the bars. “Dings!” she said, voice cracking, “What happened? Are you alright, love?”

The two didn’t move for a moment, just stared at the two of you.

Then Grillby slowly sat up and stood, he shared a look with Gaster, before turning to look at you. “…what was the last thing….I said to you?”

The question threw you off for a second, and you glanced over at Vivaldi. “You told me to stay safe and reprimanded me for joking about being hard to kill.”

Grillby’s shoulders relaxed instantly, and he strode over to the cells and reached through them. His warm fingers caressed your cheek before curling around to the back of your head. Your eyes fluttered closed at the touch, and you nuzzled into the warmth, reaching up and gently holding onto his wrist. “…what are you doing here?”

“We came to save you three.”

“Three?” Gaster asked, stepping forward, “It is only me and Grillby here.”

“The humans said that King Riagol was here as well,” Vivaldi said, reaching her hand towards her husband. Gaster took her fingers and stepped up to the bars. The two of them shared a hug through the bars as best as they could.

“…he was the first to be killed,” Grillby near snarled, shaking his head.

You pressed your mouth into a line; thoughts flew through your mind as you tried to make sense of it all. Why kill the King but keep Grillby and Gaster? What purpose did that serve? Or was it an accident that they killed Riagol? Had they meant to keep him alive? Or had they intended to kill him so that monster kind would become panicked and leaderless?

It didn’t matter.

You squeezed Grillby’s wrist before lifting the keyring and started trying to find the right key for the lock. You’d never unlocked the cell yourself before, and you were sure there would be a skeleton key somewhere, probably with the Grandmaster or someone of high importance.

Grillby’s hand retracted through the cell, leaving you missing his warmth instantly, but you knew that it wasn’t the time to indulge in your wish to hold him.

“It’s just a lock?” Vivaldi whispered, sounding almost offended, “What if a monster could pick locks?”

“Are there any monsters who can?” you retorted quietly, cursing the fact that you needed to go through FORTY keys. Vivaldi didn’t have a response to that, because you both knew the answer was ‘no.’ There was no need for picking locks for monsters, as they wouldn’t ever, ever, break into someplace they weren’t welcome. It just wasn’t a thing.

“So…what use do you have with those two at this time in the morning?” a voice cut through the silence, and you froze, staring at the lock. Your mind wasn’t working. You hadn’t heard anyone come in, and you didn’t know how much they had seen or heard. Vivaldi stepped back from the bars, and you saw her turn slightly away from the direction the voice came.

“Uh…” you started, eloquently, “We…-um…wanted to…see them…for ourselves? People keep talking about them…”

“So…you couldn’t just look at them through the bars?” the voice snorted, “Did you honestly think I’d buy that?”

You slowly glanced over at him. Freckles. The reorganization hit you with a jolt. The freckled teen was very much a freckled man now, and you saw that he recognized who you were just as much as you remembered him. His hand gestured towards you in an ‘I’m waiting’ sort of way.

“I was hoping?” you answered, slipping the keys into the bars and feeling one of the monsters inside take them.

None of the monsters could help you if this broke into a fight, but you knew that the wards also affected mages. No magic at all in the cell part of the dungeons. The good thing? You were pretty sure you could take him in a fight, even if you weren’t great at hand-to-hand.

“You haven’t changed at all, have you?” he chuckled, the aggression in his stance dropping. You narrowed your eyes suspiciously at him.

“I’ve changed a lot, actually,” you retorted, shifting so he wouldn’t notice your hand moving up to the dagger hidden in the folds of your robes.

“Defending the weak, standing up for what you feel is right?” he waved a hand vaguely, “Sounds pretty much like who you were what? Fifteen years ago?”

Your lips pressed together tightly, “What are you going to do, Bran? Run and tell someone that I’m breaking monsters out of here? Try to kill me?”

His eyebrows shot up, “Why would I do that?”

That…threw you for a loop, mouth opening as you tried to find a retort, but you couldn’t.

Bran laughed, “If you get them out of here, you’ve got thirty minutes before the guards outside the Citadel do their midnight rotation. It’ll be your best chance at getting them out during the confusion.”

“Why are you helping us?” Vivaldi asked, turning around, revealing herself. Bran took a step back, clearly thrown that a monster was out of a cell.

“My question too, you were never a monster sympathizer before…” you added.

His eyes flicked back to yours and then to Viv’s, before finally resting back on yours. “I bet you want me to say something like ‘I’ve changed, and I believe monsters deserve their freedom and to be able to live amongst us!’ but…I don’t give a fuck about them. I’m helping _you_ because you were my best friend in this place, and whatever drove you from here all those years ago must’ve been pretty bad. If they’re what kept you alive all these years? Then…I feel as if I owe them this kindness at the very least. Even if I detest them all.”

You weren’t…trusting of him. He lifted his hands and slowly approached you. When he got close enough, you drew the dagger and held it to his throat before he could even blink. You saw the shock in his face instantly, and he froze. Fear took over the blow, and he stepped back.

“What do you get out of this?” you asked, glaring at him.

“If I get caught? My death. If I don’t get caught? I get to help a friend, and I get to see the Grandmaster throw a fit like a child. I’d much prefer not to get caught,” Bran said, a bit of uncomfortable sarcasm leaving his mouth near the end. He was starting to sweat with the blade pointed at him. A hand darted out of the cell and yanked Bran against the bars.

“…how did you know she was here?” Grillby demanded, a rare show of flaming fangs in his mouth as he spoke. Bran started sweating.

“I! Saw her!” he blurted out, “In the yard!”

“What were you doing over here?” you asked, holding your hand out towards Grillby to calm him down.

“I was in the Grandmasters study!” he admitted, grabbing onto his robes and trying to pull away from Grillby’s grasp. “Get it to let go of me!”

“Grillby,” you murmured gently, “Please let go of Bran.”

Grillby’s eyes narrowed at the human in his hands before he let go. Bran staggered back, far enough away that no one could reach out and grab him. You allowed Bran a moment to calm down and reached through the bars towards Grillby to squeeze his arm to comfort his anger and distrust, hopefully. Sure, you still didn’t trust Bran yourself, but…he had the chance to run away to find others before he revealed himself.

Part of you wanted to trust him…but that was your sixteen-year-old self talking…and you couldn’t risk everything on what your sixteen-year-old self had felt.

“Why were you in the study?” you asked once everyone had calmed down a bit.

A guilty look washed over Bran’s face, “I’m his new apprentice…and I was seeing if there was anything that could…implicate him so that the council would decide to elect a new Grandmaster sooner than _he_ wants.”

That…shocked you.

“Really?”

He nodded, “I am not lying to you, and I swear on my staff.”

“Okay…I believe you,” you acquiesced and turned your back to him to reach through the cage. Gaster slowly handed you back the keys; his eye lights were utterly empty as he stared over your shoulder at Bran. A hand gripped your upper arm, and you glanced up at Vivaldi.

“You’re going to believe him like that?” she asked, clearly shocked.

“Our staves are linked to our SOULs. It’s not something you swear lightly on,” you explained quietly as you tossed the keys to Bran. “Which one opens this cell?” He flipped through the keys quickly before extending one of them towards you. There was a look of distrust sent towards Grillby, but you ignored that. You didn’t care if Bran trusted the monsters.

You just needed to get them out of the cage, and then you could get them out.

You just needed to get them out of the cage, and if Bran was able to assist, you weren’t going to turn that down.

The key easily slid in, and you felt relief as it swung open. Gaster slipped past you instantly, scooping Viv into his arms and holding her tightly to him. You kept half an eye on Bran as Grillby stepped forward and pulled you into a tight hug. You clung to the back of his tunic and felt almost all the tension in your body seep out. The two of you were together again, and you swore that you’d never let him out of your sight again.

Bran cleared his throat, “We have a small timeslot.”

The reminder made the four of you reluctantly pull away from each other to turn towards him.

“Come, follow me,” Bran urged, turning around and striding back towards the door that you and Viv had entered the dungeon. You tensed slightly but slowly followed after him. A second passed before you heard the softer footfalls of the other three. The worry that Gaster and Grillby were too weak did cross your mind, but you shoved that side. You’d deal with that fact if there were a fight…but you prayed you wouldn’t have to deal with the conflict.

Bran, at the very least, seemed concerned enough as he peered around cautiously before gesturing down one hall. You didn’t trust Bran behind the monsters, so you jerked your chin and exchanged a small glaring contest with the human until he relented and led the way. Sure, he was helping you now? But there was always the chance that he could be leading you into a trap.

Regardless of whether or not he had sworn on his staff, you wouldn’t trust any other mage fully.

You couldn’t risk your friend’s lives on your misplaced trust.

Bran opened the door to a classroom, peering inside before slipping inside. You followed first, and once you made sure it was empty, you gestured for the others to enter. The moment the door was closed, you turned towards him. “What are we doing here?” you demanded in a quiet but harsh whisper.

“I know you don’t trust me, but honestly, with the literal big walking beacon, we’ll get caught,” Bran hissed back, gesturing at Grillby.

“Viv, give Grillby your cloak,” you said, gesturing to the monster. She began unclipping the cloak, but Bran held up a hand.

“That won’t do anything, and you know it. I want to cast a spell, but I know you’ll gut me the moment I start the incantation,” Bran explained, eyes flicking down to your hip where the blade was safely secured again, just hidden by the length. “It’s an illusion spell. I can disguise them as humans temporarily so that you can get them out of the Citadel. I majored in illusion and persuasive arts, the incantation should last an hour.”

“Do you have the spell on you?” you asked, holding your hand out. He hesitated before reaching into his robes and pulling out a grimoire. You recognized it immediately as the Grandmasters. “You stole…the Grandmaster’s grimoire?”

“ _Borrowed_ ,” Bran insisted, looking vaguely guilty, but flipped carefully through the pages before turning it around and handing it to you. You read over the words, fingers dragging over the ageing papers before looking up at him and mumbling the reverse spell. Nothing happened, and you exhaled. The look of offence on Bran’s face made your lip quirk slightly as you handed it back to him. “You didn’t believe it was me?”

“I’m not an idiot,” you shot back, “I wanted to make sure.”

He grumbled, “Now, can I cast it? Or will I find myself stabbed, burnt, or…whatever the skeletons do?”

You glanced at the three monsters; it was up to them really if they wanted a spell to be cast on them. “It’s legit, and I’ll know if he attempts another spell instead,” you reassured, “but it’s up to you.”

Grillby looked uncomfortable, his flames shifting colour subtly to be a touch greener. “…if it will assist us.”

“I am eager to see a spell cast by a mage that isn’t intended to hurt me,” Gaster said, with just enough dryness to his tone that you knew his sarcasm was only meant as a jab to the kindness of humanity. Vivaldi shook her head and stepped back, crossing her arms.

“Never in a million years. I like my form,” she insisted.

Bran nodded before looking down at the grimoire. You stepped away from both Grillby and Gaster as Bran started the incantation, his hand touching the runes on the page, which began to glow. As he drew his hand away from the paper, the glowing runes lifted from the page and coalesced into a ball of magical energy before it gently floated over to the two men. The ball split up into two before it shot forth and surrounded the two of them. The light shifted and warbled before blinking out.

The room was instantly pitch black in the absence of Grillby’s light.

For a moment, there was panic that Bran _had_ killed Grillby until you heard the soft sound of crackling flames. Bran summoned a ball of light, and you saw two humans standing where Grillby and Gaster had been.

The spell didn’t change their height, and in Grillby’s case, it didn’t change his body shape. Gaster was still incredibly thin compared to Grillby, but it was even more than what he had once been. Grillby looked more like the Vikings that occasionally traded in the city, while Gaster looked more like he had come from the far south. Both were wearing robes with the same coloured lengths as you were wearing, green. You knew that Bran’s imagination conjured their looks, but you couldn’t help but think that their looks suited both of them.

However, Vivaldi disagreed with you, as she instantly recoiled, “Wings, you look so much better without skin.”

“Thank you, my dear,” Gaster retorted, smoothing his hands down his chest, they seemed to shimmer briefly meaning that his physical form had broken through the illusion and it was trying to mimic the motion without his hands disappearing into his chest. Gaster paused, before looking at his hands, “I do not feel different; it is not touch receptive?”

“Just visual,” Bran explained. “Touch, taste, scent, and feel are still the same.”

You stepped closer, looking up at Grillby. “How do you feel?” you asked quietly, he seemed stiff. You reached out and touched his arm, just as warm as always. He seemed to wince at the touch, and you immediately brought your hand away.

“…I hate it,” he admitted, and then winced, “…feels…like I’m smothered.”

“Interesting,” Bran mumbled, and you heard him taking a step closer.

“No studying him,” you snapped, glaring over your shoulder.

Bran held up his hands before tucking the stolen grimoire back into his robes.

You turned back to the others, “We should get moving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After five chapters with no Grillby he's back! Our flame boy is back! 
> 
> I have a second interview for a job on Wednesday, and if I get this job, I _may_ have to change the upload schedule for my fanfictions. I'll let you all know if I will be. No matter what I'll keep it once a week, but it may be a bit more varied. We'll see!
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	21. Escape

Tension and adrenaline kept your body from feeling the exhaustion that you were sure would hit you hard later. Grillby’s light touch on your back kept you focused on not panicking now that you had actually managed to get them out of the dungeons. Now, all you needed to do was trust in Bran that he was going to lead you guys out of the Citadel. So far, from what you remembered, he was on the right track. It occurred to you after a few moments, however, that the chances of other mages stopping your group had been significantly diminished. In the light of the magically created orbs of light that dotted the hallways, you could see that Bran wore a blue length with white embroidery. He was a Master Sage now…and therefore, barely anyone would bother question why he was guiding around lower-level mages around at night.

At one point, Bran did open the library door and usher the group inside just as some other mages turned a corner bitching about having to get up so damn early for their class. Bran and the monsters waited quietly by the library door, but your eyes drifted over all the books surrounding you.

You wandered away and slid your fingers over the spines.

Bran called your name quietly, “they’ve passed.”

You pulled two books from the shelves and tucked them into your robes under the length.

“What are you doing?” Bran asked, “Let’s go.”

You snatched up two more books and tossed them at Grillby and Gaster each, “hold those for me.”

Bran threw his arms in the air and then gestured at the door, “we have to go!”

“Alright,” you hissed and hurried over to the door.

“Why do you even want those tomes?” Bran muttered back, opening the door and peered out casually. You didn’t respond to his question, the less he knew, the better. After all, there was the chance that the Grandmaster would figure out Bran had helped you, and then what? You already knew that the Grandmaster was adept at manipulating the mind and that he wasn’t above using it on the people he knew. Any information you gave Bran was only going to be what was obvious. You wouldn’t tell him about Cherja, the capital, or anything of that manner.

Hell, you hadn’t even said anything about why you were helping these monsters. Just allowed him to assume what he wished from your interactions. You had seen his gaze lingering a bit on where Grillby was touching you, but he did nothing to comment on it, and you did nothing to draw more of his attention to it. Though, if he outright asked, you didn’t know if you would answer him. It wasn’t that you wanted to hide who Grillby was to you, but you didn’t want to put him in unnecessary danger either when keeping your mouth shut would do more good than harm.

You briefly checked up on the three monsters to make sure that the illusion was still set and that Vivaldi looked as vaguely human as she could without magical assistance. After confirming that the other students were truly gone, the group moved on from the library.

Bran turned down a side hallway and walked to nearly the very end of it before turning towards the wall. He held up his hand and muttered a few words. From the fairly smooth stone wall, you watched as runes appeared in the wall faintly etched in. The stone shifted, and slowly a small hallway was revealed. At the end of it was a hallway that led straight down into inky blackness. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he was leading you back to the dungeons. Except you did know better. 

When the Citadel had been the old castle generations ago, the King had built-in various secret tunnels that led to outside the castle. To prevent himself from ever being trapped in his own castle in case of invasion. You couldn’t remember entirely, but you think the runes had replaced the old mechanisms so that only Mages could use the tunnels in case of the Citadel being overrun.

Overrun by who? Your teachers had never said.

Still, all mages knew their locations. Their exact spots were lost to you over the years, even if you had been reminded once a year by your teachers of where they were located — a safety precaution.

Though, you remembered where one was. Though that was over by the Citadel Tower, where your room had been. You had used it when you fled from this wretched place years earlier.

“There,” Bran gestured towards the secret escape route, “If you hurry, you can escape the city before the illusion I cast on your friends diminishes.”

You ushered the monsters into the tunnel and started in after them, but something made you stop and turn back to Bran. You held out your hand towards him. His face lit up with surprise.

“Thank you, Bran, sincerely,” you said, “I’m sorry I was an asshole to you.”

Emotions flickered over his face before he cleared his throat. His face softened, before grasping your forearm, and you returned the grasp, holding on for a few seconds. A small smile brightened his face, and you were once again reminded of the little boy you used to know, “I get it. You care about them…you’ve always had a big heart.”

If he would’ve agreed to it, you would’ve tried to convince him to go with you. One less mage for the Grandmaster to manipulate, and one more mage to protect the monsters.

You didn’t know if even two would be enough if war broke out…but you knew sure as hell that you weren’t enough alone.

But he wouldn’t go with you. The most you could do was ask him a simple thing.

“If…when you become the Grandmaster, use your power for good. Convince the Monarchy to call off the slaughter of monsters…they don’t want to hurt us,” you said, squeezing his arm lightly. Quietly begging him to agree regardless of his own opinion on monsters. 

Various emotions flickered over Bran’s face, and he looked behind you at the monsters. When his eyes dropped back down to you, he let out a heavy sigh, “I…will try. For you. Not for them.”

You gave him a weak smile, “Hey, at this point I’ll take anything. Thank you. Again.”

“I’m just glad I got to see you again. You were always the type to carve your own path, didn’t think you’d fall for a monster though,” he joked, squeezing your arm. Your face heated up as Bran’s eyes flicked back to where you presumed Grillby was standing. Another squeeze and then Bran released your arm, “Now, go!”

You took a step back, “You could come with us.”

Surprise flickered over his face, and then he shook his head, “No. My place is here.”

“You sure?” you asked, taking another step back. Bran nodded.

“Farewell, my friend,” he said with a smile and gestured for you to step into the tunnel.

You continued to walk backwards, worry clinging to your bones. You really didn’t feel good about leaving him here, but…he had survived for so long without you there to defend him. You would trust that he could continue to survive and would thrive. Hope filled your chest, and you turned towards the monsters.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and you started to turn back towards Bran when a sharp gasp erupted from his lips. It had you whirling back around, throwing up a barrier in surprise. Blood spurted forth from Bran’s mouth, his face twisted in shocked pain. “Bran?!” you moved to step towards him, but Gaster grabbed your arms and stopped you. The bone dug into your arms and started to haul you further into the tunnel, away from Bran.

Bran turned to look down the hall, grasping at a magically inflicted wound on his stomach.

“Arrest him.”

The voice was so familiar to sent a shockwave of fear through you.

Bran turned back towards the wall and started the chant again to close the way. Blood sputtered from his lips as he spoke, and you thrashed against Gasters hold. Grillby grasped your shoulder, trying to urge you back, but you broke free.

You didn’t care.

Bran was dying.

You darted forward, grabbing at your friend before hauling him off his feet. The spell was interrupted, but you didn’t care. You practically threw him into the tunnel and nimbly dodged a spell that slammed through the glass window behind you. The second you were in the small offshoot hallway, you whirled around and slammed your hands _into_ the stone beneath you. With an urgency you hadn’t felt in the longest time, you poured your magic into the rock, and instead of sealing it again with runes, you forced the stone floor of the hall to warp, crack, and then seal up the entrance.

The sound was sharp and immensely loud as the floor smashed against the entrance and began to groan and scrape as it sealed the way.

“Oh Gods,” Bran gasped, blood spilling from his lips.

You whirled around, nearly smacking into Gaster as you did so. You couldn’t let Bran die. You couldn’t. You didn’t care if you weren’t adept at healing. You’d use every drop of magic in you to heal your oldest friend. Your hands glowed with green magic as you pressed them against his stomach, feeling your magic stitch across the wound. A sharp stinging had your hands flinching back against your chest, eyes widening with surprise. There was something foul in the injury.

You wouldn’t let that stop you.

Your hands returned back against his stomach and forced even more magic into the bloody mess that was his side. Each sting of foul magic had you wincing and flinching in pain, but you kept pouring your magic out.

“It’s not working!” you bit out, tears at the corners of your eyes, “why isn’t it working?”

Bran grabbed your wrists, shoving them weakly away from his body, “get out!”

“No! You’re a fucking idiot! What were you thinking?” you snapped out, anger getting the best of you.

“What?” he gasped, more blood bubbling from his lips.

“You shouldn’t have helped us!” you snarled out, “This wouldn’t have happened!”

“I want to be on the right side of history, even if it’s just one deed…and I know you’ll do the right thing in the end,” Bran said, reaching up and pushing some loose hair behind your ear. You felt the shaking of his fingers and quickly grabbed at his hand as if steadying it would heal him better than your magic. Your other hand went back to his side, resuming healing.

“Go before they block the exit.”

Your hands were starting to shake; the stinging of the foul magic was becoming too much. Someone was trying to get you to stand up, but you shoved them away. “I won’t leave you here, you-! I will carry you if I have to!”

Bran reached weakly into his robe and removed the Grandmasters grimoire. He shoved it against your chest, “When you escape…say…d-druhi…druhim…”

There was a rattle to his breathing, and his face was growing white. The startling realization that you could see his face in what had been a pitch-black tunnel made you look back to see the illusion had been stripped from both Gaster and Grillby. “No! You’re not dying!” you half-snarled, half-pleaded, turning back to Bran. You reached towards him to attempt to pick him up, but a weak blast of harmless magic made you fall on your ass.

“I…m alre-already…gone…go…” Bran huffed out, “ple-please…”

“No!”

Though, no one listened to your protests. Hands slid under your arms and hoisted you off the ground. You thrashed against them, trying to get to Bran to carry him to safety, but you were merely tossed over a shoulder as if you weighed nothing. “Let me go! We can help him!”

But when you looked back down at him…Bran’s eyes were glazed over. His chest no longer moving. You clutched at the shirt beneath your fingers and felt tears spilling from your eyes. He…was dead. That shy freckled face boy who’d follow you around giving you flowers had been killed. Your only friend left in this gods-forsaken place was dead…all because of you.

You should’ve sent him away.

His dead form faded from view as Grillby hurried down the steps with Gaster and Vivaldi hot on his heels. Vivaldi gave you a look of pity, and you looked sharply away, pulling the grimoire closer to your chest and clamping your eyes shut.

At the bottom of the stairs, Grillby placed you down.

“…I’m sorry,” Grillby whispered, his fingers brushing at your cheek causing your tears to evaporate, “…but we-“

“I know,” you interrupted, shoving the grimoire into your robes and turning to the wall. Regardless of your own mourning, the four of you were in danger. You uttered the incantation Bran had used, and the way was opened to a back alley within the city. It would take a while before the mages could get to the exit, but you were worried they’d be able to track you if you didn’t get going soon. You scrubbed at your face with your sleeve as you cast the reverse spell to reset the wall.

Blood coated your fingers, and you stared at them weakly before twisting around. Vivaldi had taken off her cloak and handed it to Grillby, but it barely did anything to stop his flames from showing. That was going to be a problem…but one that you didn’t have time to deal with now.

“We need to run,” you informed, wiping the blood onto the coloured length around your waist. “Vivaldi, if we get close enough, teleport them both out. I’ll try to divert attention away from where we were…if I don’t meet up with you guys, get back to the capital.”

“…I’m not leaving without you,” Grillby said firmly.

“We can discuss that later, right now, let’s go!” Vivaldi urged, gesturing towards the end of the alley. The sooner the group got away, the easier it would be to lose the mages.

There was a loud, clanging sound that slowly filled the night air, and you winced.

“The guard has been alerted, go!” you gave Grillby a light shove.

The four of you stuck to alleyways as best as you could, as you ran further and further away from the Citadel. After needing to kill a guard, when they discovered you and went to shout out to attract the attention of other guards, you took the length from Vivaldi’s waist and got Grillby to wrap it around his head as best he could. He said nothing about it feeling smothering and did it regardless. He used the cloak to hide the rest of his flames, and it significantly diminished his light. There was nothing you could do about the strip of fire that was exposed around his eyes.

It was still dark out, but people were peeking out of their windows and doors to see what the alarms were going on about. You skidded to a stop and yelled about a fire over on the west side and that the guards want people to help. That drew a lot of people from their homes, all calling for others to assist. You took off down the alley after the others.

Hopefully that caused enough chaos that it would help the four of you escape.

Your lungs were burning by the time Vivaldi skidded to a halt and twisted around to grab Gaster and Grillby. “I’ll be back for you,” she promised. Grillby moved to pull away, but they blinked away before he could. You worried about being caught…but you couldn’t leave the area you were in lest Vivaldi was unable to find you. So, you pressed your back against the brick wall and shrank down behind some barrels, curling up into the smallest ball possible.

You cursed the Citadel. You cursed the Grandmaster. You cursed every Mage who used their power to instill fear in others.

You felt the weight of the tomes against you.

Their solid weight did nothing to stem to panic that hit you full force. The Grandmaster had been so close. You had heard his voice. If you had looked down the hall, you would’ve seen him, he killed Bran. You didn’t care if it was his magic or not that dealt the actual fatal blow.

As you wept for your lost friend…you nearly didn’t notice Vivaldi teleporting back in front of you, she called out quietly, and you slowly uncurled from your ball, calling out back to her. She walked over and carefully looked down the alleyway before she extracted your cloak from her abdomen and draped it over your shoulders. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, and you felt the comforting pulse her SOUL was emitting. You wiped at your tears.

“I’m crying for a man I haven’t seen in fifteen years,” you mumbled, looking numbly at the crusted blood left over on your hands. “Just…let’s get out of here. I never want to come back.”

“A moment,” Vivaldi said, rubbing your arms softly, “I need to recuperate my magic a bit.”

You nodded numbly, and she gently pulled you into a loose hug. Her hands gently rubbing your back.

“Why does every successor I have betray me?”

You twirled around, hands holding onto her arms in an attempt to hide her over seven-foot-tall stature behind you. Adrenaline thrummed through your chest as you turned to glare down the alley. Your chest squeezed painfully in panic, and your fingers clenched at Vivaldi’s arms.

“Maybe because you’re a giant asshole,” Vivaldi spat out, “Torturing innocents for your own sick amusement.”

The Grandmaster’s eyes were not on Vivaldi, however. You couldn’t look away, heart pounding heavily in your chest. As you attempted to call Vivaldi’s name, your voice caught in your voice and came out as nothing but a weak squeak. His cold, cold eyes finally drifted up to look at Vivaldi behind you before snapping back down at you.

“You would betray the very people who raised you?” he demanded, voice cold and empty. There was no emotion as he looked at you.

The way he would look at the monsters.

You weren’t a human to him, not anymore.

“I-“ you squeaked, “I…don’t want to fight.”

“Then don’t,” he said and looked to the guards standing by his side. Only then did you notice that there were others. Too focused on the man who frightened you the most in the world. When the Grandmaster’s eyes turned back towards you, there was a warmth to them. The way you remembered him looking at you…but now you wondered if that was an illusion. “Come…it is obvious the monsters have corrupted your mind. We will return to the Citadel, and I will cleanse the corruption from you. I do not blame you for any of this, my child.”

That word ‘child’ stirred up a feeling in your chest. Deep-rooted anger that seemed like molten Earth stirring after years of slumber.

“I’m not your child!” you spat viciously.

The coldness returned, but the emotionless look on his face snapped, and his face twisted in anger. “I should have killed you along with the rest of those wretched spawn.”

He said something that you couldn’t quite hear, and your vision tunnelled. Everything fading away beside him. You felt compelled to say something but before you could speak, you were spun around to face Viv. Her eye sockets were blank and you heard the guards shout out in panic. But their voices were cut off mid-scream.

The river appeared in front of you just as a barrier slammed up around you and Vivaldi.

“It’s okay,” Vivaldi immediately blurted out, “We’re out.”

Cherja slithered into view and startled you. The barrier burst out before you could stop it and shoved the three monsters outside off their feet.

A soothing sensation surrounded your SOUL, just as the panic started to grow.

Then warmth surrounded you.

For a moment, you couldn’t breathe. Would there ever be a time where you could face him again without panicking? Without fear? You didn’t know if you wanted to figure out — content with never seeing him again if you could help it.

The soothing feeling helped ease your panic a lot sooner than it usually did. You started to notice the world around you in more detail beyond your own body. Grillby’s arms were around you, and you were crouched on the ground. Vivaldi and Gaster were holding each other, and Cherja was hovering just out of arms reach from you.

Sounds came next with the gentle crackling of Grillby’s flames and the rushing of the river water. You gently pushed Grillby away and shakingly got to your feet. Your muscles were quaking as you stumbled over to the river side. You placed the tomes into the boat before stripping off the length around your waist. The cloak was next, but both were placed haphazardly on the ground.

Then you stepped into the water and stuttered out a spell. You didn’t know how the Grandmaster had tracked you so far through the city, but you weren’t going to let whatever it was stick to your skin. As you dunked your hands into the icy water, you watched as almost flashes of magic washed off your skin and down the river. The spell was to wash away any residual magic. To wash away the blood. To wash away everything that you could.

Finally, you turned around slowly and out of the water. Thoroughly soaked but feeling lighter. Grillby picked up your cloak and draped it around your shoulders, rubbing your arms lightly. You heard rather than felt the gentle hiss of the water dissipating from his heat. You resisted leaning against him, even if you wanted nothing but to collapse in his arms.

“Let’sss get back to the capital,” Cherja suggested quietly, gesturing to the boat. You and Grillby both gave the boat a look of distain…but to your surprise, Grillby got into the boat with only a bit of stiffness. Gaster and Vivaldi got in next…but you hesitated. “Come on,” Cherja encouraged, “You’re almossst home.”

“When we get back to the capital, we can see if we can figure out what the Grandmaster meant about ‘wretched spawn’ as well,” Vivaldi suggested, “After we get them checked out by Healers, and inform the people about the King.”

The three monsters looked at Vivaldi with confusion.

Wretched spawn.

Druhim.

You shook your head, “wait...” you murmured, “that…the word Bran told me to say wasn’t a word. It was a name.”

“A name?” Gaster inquired, but then waved his hands, “Regardless, we can figure this all out at Home.”

The pure exhaustion in your body, both physical and emotional, outweighed the terror you felt staring at the boat, which enabled you to step a foot into the boat, clutching your cloak tighter around your body. “Yeah…Gerson told me about him when we were travelling. This earth elemental…I think?” you mumbled as you lowered yourself to sit against Grillby’s legs. You weakly put up a barrier around the two of you so that the water wouldn’t hurt him.

“…Earth elemental?” Grillby asked, “what was the name?”

“Druhim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Bran was originally supposed to smooch Reader at the end, but I scraped that because I felt like it was out of place.
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	22. Long Erased Memories

You giggled, crouched behind the small wall as your friends were walking past. They were wearing their fancy clothes that you had heard Da mutter about being too ‘fancy’ for your home, but you thought they were so pretty! Especially Queen Ve…V….Vesua…she was so pretty.

As they passed you crept out the rocks not daring to shift under your weight as you crept up behind Gerson before you launched yourself at his back. Like a monkey! You really wanted to see one of those!

“Ah! She’s got me, Vee!” Gerson called out, clearly extremely surprised by your sneak attack! You grinned and pressed a kiss to his stinky old turtle head.

“You came back!” you crowed, “Ger!!!”

He laughed, but then two large hands scooped you up and you were brought up to a beautiful face. You reached out and placed your hands on the Queen’s cheeks and kissed her nose. “Vee!” you chirped, “Visit me?”

“Only you, my dear,” she whispered conspirtoarly, “Don’t tell your fathers.”

You placed a finger against your lips and grinned back at her. You didn’t want Papa feeling sad because she didn’t come to see him. Queen nuzzled your face gently, “Oh! Have you met my son?”

“Son?” you parroted, tilting your head but then shook it. “A…kid? Like me?”

“Not like you, no…but he’s my son!” she said merrily before turning and gesturing to a shorter monster standing beside her. He had a lot of fur and Vee’s beauttttttttttifulllllllll golden hair. You reached out towards him immediately, and he seemed startled at first before he glanced up at Vee. “This is Asgore, my son.”

“As…Asgore,” you said, the name felt a bit funny on your tongue but you touched his horns anyways. Asgore bleated out a gentle laugh and pressed his forehead against yours. You giggled and nuzzled him back. “You are my friend.”

“Ah! Look at you!” Vee said excitedly, “full sentences!”

You beamed, but that reminded you of your fathers. “I get Da!” you said wriggling in her grasp until she let you down gentle. You grabbed Gerson’s hand and started tugging on it, “Come!”

“You go on without me, young one, we’ll catch up,” he said warmly, nudging you with his other hand. You pouted slightly, but the irritation didn’t last long, so you simply nodded.

“Okay!”

Then you were darting off back towards the village.

Your Da noticed you first as you rushed towards your two fathers, and he caught you mere seconds before you collided with his legs. With a grunt turned shout, he swung you up into the air and held you triumphantly over his head. A giggled ripped out from your mouth as he spun in a circle. When your head was still spinning, he planted a big loud smooch on your cheek and tucked you against his side.

“There’s my little one,” he cooed, poking your nose with his other hand, “Where have you been?”

“Ger and Vee are here!” you explained excitedly, clinging to his robes with your chubby little hands.

“Gerson?” another voice spoke up, and you immediately turned towards the source. You grinned up at your father, his large form so big but not intimidating you in the slightest. Your hands reached out towards him and he easily picked you up with one of his large hands and cuddled you to his chest. He spoke gently to you in a series of words that only earth elementals could speak, “ _little moon, did you sneak out of the village again?”_

 _“Nooooo,”_ you giggled, nuzzling against his head. Despite it being completely made of stone, it didn’t hurt you at all. “ _I do not sneak.”_

Da laughed, a delightful noise that had your father laughing as well. You smiled contently at the combination of deep rough laughs and delicate fluttering laughs. You loved your parents so much. They were so cute and lovely and you loved them. So, you told them. They both planted their versions of kisses on your face replying in kind, before your friends entered the village proper.

“Queen Vesua, we’re honoured by the visit,” Da exclaimed, bowing slightly towards the very pretty monster. Your father bowed even deeper towards her, you didn’t fully get the difference about why they bowed so differently, but you could ask later.

“It’s an honour to be welcomed in to your village,” Vee said with a polite nod, her smile never wavering.

“Come, I will prepare some tea,” Da offered, and he escorted a majority of the group into your house.

Your father, bent down and placed you gently to your feet, “ _little moon, if you would be kind as to go and find some flowers for our guests? A bouquet for the Queen, Prince, and Gerson will do quite nicely.”_

 _“Okay!”_ you kissed his cheek quickly before turning and skipping away, humming quietly to yourself.

You heard your father’s large forming moving towards the house, and you continued on into the forest. It honestly didn’t take you long to collect the flowers. Your father was silly if he didn’t realize that was what you were doing anyways! Well, the flowers were going to be for your fathers but Papa _did_ tell you to pick them for your friends instead. So! You merely plopped your little butt back down in the dirt and continued to work on the flowers.

Of course, you weren’t going to make just bouquets…but crowns! Vee was a Queen after all! When you finally had loops for each of the monsters, you skipped back towards your house, but paused as you stepped in through the open door.

The voices in the house were low and…different.

You didn’t like the tone they were talking in.

It made your chest feel funny, and you hid slightly behind a chair and quietly listened in.

“I sincerely think you should consider moving your family and the village further into the monster kingdom,” that was Vee, she seemed concerned. Like how Da sounded when he talked to you about controlling your magic properly. You didn’t understand what they were talking about.

Moving the family? The village? How could you move a village? That was silly…

“We are independent of both your kingdom and the human kingdom…if we move our village we can risk appearing like we’re siding with the monsters over humans,” Da said, his voice unusually serious and low. “This village is a symbol that peace between monsters and humans can last.”

Peace! You knew that was a good word, you knew that. Still, nothing else was making sense and it was just making you feel more anxious.

“We are worried about you and your family, Chief. Halflings were declared illegal, and with how many risks the human kingdom have been taking we fear the worse will come to pass,” Gerson’s voice spoke up.

Halflings? That was you! You were a Halfling! Da said that was a good thing, though…Gerson said you were…illegal? You knew _that_ was bad. It was like…stealing! Were you…bad? The thought made your chest hurt more, and tears pricked at the corner of your eyes.

“Perhaps we should move, my love,” your father’s deep, deep voice spoke up. You blinked away the tears to see him reach over to pat your Da’s hand. “Even if temporarily…just to keep the children safe.”

You watched as your father turned his gaze towards the fire and then back over to the others. “Hopefully this is just temporary.”

“Riagol and I extend an offer to house you and the villagers in the capital, if you do not know where you wish to settle,” Vee said, “It will be the safest place for the Halflings.”

“Ah…speaking of,” Gerson interrupted before your Da could speak again, “We got a little visitor.”

You blushed as the eyes of the adults turned towards you. The feeling like you were caught shot through you, and you immediately held up the loops of flowers. “For you,” you offered embarrassed and saddened by what parts of their conversation your little four year old mind did understand. You doled out the flowers, and temporarily forgot _all_ about the low tone of the conversation mere moments before.

For your Da you made a loop of red roses, his favourite. For your Papa, you made a loop of cute tiny pink field flowers. Gerson got one made of golden flowers because you’d gotten golden flower tea once and it was yummy and Gerson liked tea!! Asgore and Vee both got flowers of multiple different colours because they were all pretty!

“Pretty flowers ‘cus you match!” you told Vee happily, and the monster blushed prettily.

“Thank you, my child,” she said kissing your forehead lightly.

“Am I not pretty,” Gerson teased you, poking your side with a claw. You giggled and wormed away from him.

“You’re old.”

Da flicked the side of your head and gave you a semi disappointed look. You reached towards Gerson and he picked you up, placing you on one knee. Then you leaned in and whispered, “You the prettiest, but don tell Papa or he’ll cry.”

Gerson chortled and nodded, booping your nose.

The day absoloutely _flew_ past as a impromptu feast for the royal family was put together. You got to dance with Asgore and Gerson and Queen Vee, and of course your loving fathers! You ate so much food with the other kids, but then felt sick so Da took you to put you to bed early much to your dismay.

“Daaaaa,” you whined as he tucked you into the tiny little bed by the window. He adjusted the blankets around you and hushed you.

“It is your own fault,” he chided you gently, “They will still be here in the morning…get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to,” you hiccupped, tiny fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “I wanna play…”

He kissed your head and started to sing you a lullaby. You loved it…even if you didn’t know what the words meant, but it also had the affect of lulling you to sleep. Even as tears trailed down your cheeks at the unfairness of the situation. Your eyes were starting to droop closed when a large form filled the doorway and you perked up. Papa was still wearing the cute crown you made him.

“ _Papa_!” you said excitedly, “ _My crown!”_

“ _Of course_ ,” he said, “ _anything my little moon makes I will wear.”_

 _“I love you!”_ you declared, happily.

“ _Aw…my precious moon, my SOUL is so full of your love it will surely burst!”_ Papa declared clutching his chest.

“ _NO!”_ you blurted out, “ _Burst is bad!”_

 _“Yes! But do not worry, by the time the sun rises in the morning, it shall be ready for more of your love,_ ” he promised, before leaning down and nuzzling the top of your head. “ _Now lay down your head, and your Da shall sing you to sleep.”_

Da merely smiled as Papa slid his rocky arm around his shoulder and nuzzled the top of his head before his delicate voice started the lullaby up once more.

You were out before you realized it.

\---

Yesterday, your friends had left to go back home so you were feeling sad. You had wanted them to stay longer, they were always so much fun. However, Da did tell you that you might be seeing a lot more of them soon enough so you were glad for that! You just hoped soon was actually soon and not Da soon. Da soon took _forever_.

You were practising your magic, attempting to shift the form of a rock from it’s bumpy shape to something smooth. Like Papa was attempting to teach you! Control! It was hard though. But you wanted to impress them both when your next lesson was.

However, your secret studying was interrupted when you felt a different vibration in the Earth. You paused, placing a hand down onto the mossy ground and shifting around until you felt stone. It wasn’t the familiar vibration of people walking…but something else? You got to your feet and started heading towards where the vibrations were coming from but paused.

Papa told you to go to him if you _ever_ felt strange vibrations.

 _Ever_.

So, you turned and headed back towards the village.

The vibrations grew faint by the time you spotted Papa, and you clambered up his back.

“ _Ah! Where did you run off to, little one?”_ he asked smiling at you before returning to his work repairing the small stone fencing along the road towards the village.

“ _Weird vibrations_ ,” you said, nervousness fluttering through your chest. Your skin shifted to rock and you imitated the vibrations with your magic against his skin. His head turned towards you.

“ _You sure, my moon?”_

You nodded, cuddling closer to him.

He didn’t say anything more, but reached over to cuddle you against his chest and start heading towards the village.

A loud crack sent your father stumbling, and his form curling around you. His face twisted in pain. Another crack sent him to the floor.

You let out a startled scream as you went sprawling to the floor.

Your father twisted around, a loud angry sound ripping from his throat as a volley of stones flew back at something that you oculdn’t see around his form. “ _Get to the village!”_ he ordered you. Tears burst from your eyes and you scrambled to your feet.

“ _I’m scared_ ,” you called to him, trying to move closer. The ground beside you burst with a magical blast and you screamed, dirt raining on you. You felt something sting your cheek and you started crying harder. Your father cursed before turning around and scooping you into his arms and he _ran._

You clung to him, burying your face against his chest and cried. Fear making you shake and curl up.

A final loud booming crack and your father went still. You looked up in time to feel tiny pebbles against your face before your father fell to his knees. He slowly lowered you to the floor, and his fingers caressed your cheek.

“ _I love you to the moon and back…tell your Da I loved him just as much.”_

His large form dissipated to dust.

Your hands were shaking as you touched the dust. “ _Papa? Papa???”_

Why wasn’t he responding?

Why was he dust?

Why was he so small now?

You didn’t notice the other villagers reacting.

You began to scream our for Da, confused and scared.

Someone dropped down beside you, scooping up the dust into a pot before plucking you off the ground. You cried, screaming in fear and confusion.

Other voices of terror and horror filled the air, adding to your anxiety. The village disappeared from around you as your carrier darted into the forest before placing you down. You reached out towards your Da as he placed the pot down next to you. “Shh, my baby,” he hushed, tears in his eyes as well. He kissed your forehead. “I need you to be quiet, okay? Hide n seek, okay?”

You attempted to stop crying, clutching at the front of your dress you parroted “hide n seek.”

“There’s my good girl,” Da said kissing your forehead again. He glanced over his shoulder, and turned around. He hurried through a spell, that much you knew, but were to saddened by Papa disappearing on you when you were so scared. Though…if you were playing hide n seek maybe…maybe Papa would be one to come find you? He’d find you! You knew he would. “Go hide now, and remember, don’t come out if anyone class to you unless they say the magic words okay. Do you know what they were?”

You repeated the nonsensical words back to him and he pulled you tightly to his chest. You clung to him, riding the waves of anxiety before he released you and gave you a gentle push. “God.”

You turned and ran.

There was spot near the water that you liked to hide during games, but that was where the scary vibrations came from…where your Papa ran away from. You didn’t want to go there. Instead, you would go to your second favourite hiding spot. It was mossy and comfy to curl up in until someone found you! You darted off towards it, mind shifting from fear to the smallest bit of excitement as you started to convince yourself that Papa _was_ going to come find you and he was just playing a game. You would ask him later not to scare you like that again! Because it was scary!

Before you reached that spot you felt the vibrations again and coming quickly. Panic rushed through your body and you started to run.

This wasn’t fun anymore, you wanted your fathers! You wanted to stop playing this scary game!

A creature made a horrid noise behind you that startled you bad enough you tripped and started crying. The werid vibrations got worse as you heard awful thudding noises before a large creature reared beside you, it’s large feet thudding into the ground before a human swung off from it. You screamed, scuttling backwards as fast as you could.

The human spoke the language your Da did, but you were too busy crying and screaming for your Papa to listen. You didn’t know them! You kicked and started flinging rocks and stones at the human in fear as they approached. “Get away!” you screeched as they grabbed the back of your dress and hoisted you off the ground.

“Quiet,” the human ordered, struggling to get a set of shackles around your wrists as you failed and kicked. They climbed back on the creature and you screeched until they tied cloth around your mouth to muffle you.

Hot tears slid down your cheeks as you writhed.

You were brought back to the village and thrown to the ground.

Pain shot up your arm and you continued to cry even as one of the older Halflings tried to soothe you, you wanted your fathers! You were scared and hurt!

“Is this all?” a voice demanded as you were cuddled against one of the older children’s side. “We cannot let even one escape.”

“It is, Grandmaster,” another human clarified.

“Ki-“

“Grandmaster, forgive my interruption, but should we not keep one of these beasts? In case there are more outside of this village. We know the extent of monsters powers, but we have never gotten the chance to study a Halfling,” a third human spoke up.

They were terrifying in their hooded robes. They looked so much like Da’s robes which should’ve brought you relief…but it didn’t.

“They’re illegal.”

Illegal.

You were illegal.

That’s what Gerson said.

So it must be true.

You were bad.

That’s why Papa disappeared.

That’s why Da told you to run.

“The King also gave you the power to do whatever you wish for the betterment of humanity. Keep one alive, and not only will we figure out their power threshold…but we can also use it against the monsters later.”

“Your idea has merit…pick which one shall be our pet then,” the one called Grandmaster gestured towards you and the other kids. The Halflings all inched closer to each other.

“You murdering sunvabitches!” the kid holding onto you spat, “You killed our people and you think we’d fight for you?”

“That one has a point,” Grandmaster murmured, “We need a mind that is able to be manipulated. The younger the better.”

His cold, cold eyes met yours and he reached over and plucked you from the group. You yelled into your gag, writhing and kicking in panic. Once again you were thrown to the ground, you felt pain blossom in your chest and you began to sob even harder…which aggravated the pain even more.

Papa…Da…you were sorry. You didn’t mean for this to happen.

Gentle hands gathered you from the ground, turning you away but not before you watched as a blast of pure magic killed each of your friends. You screamed as you watched their bodies slump to the ground, motionless. You had seen a dead body before…you had seen your granddad fall motionless on the ground when you were younger. Had watched your Da mourn and watched the village mourn.

“Shhh,” the voice of the human who was holding you hushed you softly, “I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“Our job is completed,” Grandmaster called out, and you shrunk closer against the soft human who was holding you. “We will ride hard to get out of monster territory.”

The human carried you towards one of the creatures that terrified you, and you writhed hard enough that you were dropped. Your skin turned rocky as you attempted to run. Voices shouted at you as you took off towards your house. A hand caught the back of your dress…but too late.

You saw your Da laying face down in a pool of his own blood.

You screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone catch this plot twist coming? I hope so...
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	23. In His Arms

Your eyes slowly peeled open as you felt yourself being lifted. Where were you? What happened? You blinked slowly, attempting to clear your head of the fog when you heard Nindree shouting. 

“What the FUCK happened?” she demanded, striding over. You didn’t have even an ounce of energy left to answer her, as you were busy attempting to answer that question as well. Grillby was carrying you cradled against his chest, looking just as exhausted as you felt.

“Thank the stars you are back,” Asgore’s voice added to the growing din of noise, “Wait…where is…my father?”

You didn’t hear an answer but listened to the resulting cry of anguish from Asgore. 

“Get her to a Healer, I’ll drop those books off at your home on the way to get Sans,” Vivaldi suggested, her face appearing briefly by Grillby’s shoulder before disappearing once again. Grillby nodded stiffly, and you felt the gentle swaying of him walking. You didn’t know if you zoned out or passed out, but the next thing you were aware of was a Healer hovering over you.

“I healed physical wounds, but there weren’t many…my recommendation is getting her to her home and giving her plenty of support. Her SOUL is in distress, so it may only be a temporary ailment,” the Healer explained to Grillby.

“…thank you,” Grillby spoke softly, before picking you back up and carrying from the Healers.

You didn’t say anything, your mind was still processing everything. Hell, your mind was overworking so hard you didn’t notice you were back in your home, nor that Grillby was lowering you down onto your bed until he spoke your name softly. You jerked slightly and looked around, then settled your gaze on Grillby’s face.

He was home.

You launched yourself towards him, throwing your arms around his neck and burying your face against the side of his head. His arms immediately wrapped about you, clinging you to his chest. All at once, your SOUL gave out a loud, relieved pulse, and his SOUL responded in kind. You felt whole again. There was no way you were letting him go anywhere without you again. All you wanted to do was remain in his embrace and ignore the world outside. To ignore the new-found information. To just…be with your SOULmate.

His fingers carded through your hair gently as the embrace softened from desperation to contentment. 

You weren’t sure how much time passed as you held each other, but then your stomach rumbled angrily. You hadn’t eaten properly since leaving Home for the human capital…and you weren’t sure at this point how long that was ago. Grillby slowly unfurled from the embrace, which made you cling a bit tighter.

“…we both need to eat,” he said, so, so softly against your ear, “come.”

You nodded weakly, and with the utmost reluctance, you released him from your grip. Grillby helped you to your feet, and the two of you moved into the kitchen slowly. His hand never strayed far from you, and you stood as close as you could without getting in his way as he relit the long since cold hearth. Grillby’s eyes watched the dancing flames and then glanced down at you.

“…I missed you.”

You reached up, caressing his jaw, and he leaned down but stopped mere inches from your lips. You closed the distance, giving him a soft kiss. Then another. And another. After the fourth kiss, he pressed his forehead against yours, and the two of you basked in each other’s presence.

Then your stomach made another noise of hunger interrupting the moment yet again, Grillby gave you one more lingering kiss before getting to cooking.

You didn’t help, more content with just watching him. 

Though, you couldn’t help but notice that even if it felt like nothing  _ had _ happened at that moment, you knew that was just an illusion. There was a heaviness to your SOUL every time you looked at your hands for too long, or when you saw the fresh scar on Grillby’s arm. There would be consequences for rescuing Grillby and Gaster. For so long, you’d live a life where you didn’t need to worry about your actions causing others harm. There were others in your life…and you were afraid you were still reacting as if you were the only one who would get harmed if you fucked up.

But you weren’t.

Bran was evidence enough that you weren’t thinking of others’ safety. Your eyes dropped back to your hands and then travelled up to your arms. You weren’t wearing the robes anymore, they were abandoned on the riverbank back near the capital…but Bran’s blood had seeped through and stained the sleeves of your tunic. 

“…go change,” Grillby nudged you gently.

You shook your head, dropping your arms back down by your side, “Later.”

He didn’t fight you on the subject, just kissed the top of your head and returned to cooking.

“…I don’t know if you want to talk about it…but…what did Vivaldi mean?” Grillby asked, and you looked up at him.

“ _ Can you understand me?”  _ you asked, reaching back into your new-found memories of your family and recalling the language you used to speak to your…Papa. Grillby dropped the knife in his hand and whirled towards you. His flames flared in surprise.

“ _ How? That’s …impossible,”  _ he said, and for the first time, you could understand him much more clearly. A few tears blurred your vision, and you sniffled quietly, wiping at your eyes. You explained what you knew. Who your fathers were and the fact that the Grandmaster had killed your village except you. 

“ _ You…you are sure?” _ Grillby spoke carefully, turning away from cooking briefly to search your face. You nodded. “ _ I…We need to tell the others about this.” _

“Tomorrow. I just…need time to process it, Grillby…I mean. I just figured out what happened to my family, truly happened to them, and-I mean…they…my memories – well, the parts I remember – are just full of guilt,” you explained, staring at the small flames that danced up from his fingers. You could understand that it  _ wasn’t _ your fault with what happened. The only one to blame was the Grandmaster…but that little four-year-old who heard the words’ Halfling’ and ‘Illegal’ together had assumed that it was  _ very _ much her fault.

Grillby stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. You leaned against him, pressing your face against his tunic and then the floodgates opened. You cried….and you cried hard. The happy life you could’ve had was gone. You would never see your father’s faces again…you wouldn’t see the other Halfling children again either. They were all dead. Buried.

You wondered what happened to the Queen…no one really spoke of her anymore beyond brief mentions. Sometimes it sounded like she was still alive and other times, it seemed like she had been dead for quite a while. 

All the tears for all those you had lost in your life flooded from you as Grillby held you, his fire a comforting, quiet, warm crackle. 

“ _ I remember the day that we…lost your village, _ ” Grillby admitted as your tears started to fade, “ _ Well, rather, the day Queen Vesua and Gerson returned back. The entire capital mourned…especially for all the children that were dusted.” _

You sniffled, cuddling closer to his chest as his warm hand gently rubbed along your back. The smell of food made you step back and moved to wipe your face with the sleeve of your tunic, but you stopped at the sight of the stained blood. Grillby reached forward and gently rubbed at your face with his hands, evaporating the tears instantly. You inhaled sharply. “Grillby-“

“ _ It didn’t hurt, _ ” he assured you quickly, showing you his hands. You exhaled in relief and stepped back to allow him to continue cooking. “ _ How…did you come to remember? You said speaking, your father’s name unlocked the memories?” _

“I…don’t know  _ how _ ? I just…remember saying Druhim and I remembered?” you explained, rubbing your cheek lightly. “…Bran told me to say ‘Druhim’ so…maybe there was a spell on me to make me forget? But…I don’t know how  _ he  _ would have known. Unless it’s in the Grandmaster’s grimoires…”

You looked back up at Grillby, to see him staring down at you with an unreadable expression on his face. Even if you had gotten good at reading the very subtle shifts to his flames over the years, you couldn’t tell what was going through his mind. When he didn’t want  _ anyone  _ to know what he was thinking, no one would. When you called his name gentle, his eyes shifted from your face back to the food, and he removed it from the fire and plated it.

“I’m _ sorry…I should have given you time to mourn him,” _ Grillby said quietly, avoiding your gaze. “ _ You two were…were you close?” _

You felt your SOUL clench in despondent pain at the reminder, and you hugged yourself. “He…was my friend back when I was in the Citadel…we had silly little crushes on each other that I can barely remember, but…it still hurts? I still…what…I could’ve done something. I should’ve done something. My barrier is my best skill! I could’ve…”

“ _ You can’t save everyone,”  _ Grillby reminded you gently, placing a warm hand on your shoulder. You reached up, placing your hand over his and felt a few tears slip down your cheeks.

“I just…I..I-I know that. I  _ know  _ that. But-He…He died! Right in front of me!” you gestured at the floor, before looking away from Grillby. “I’m …not mad at you for taking me away. I…probably wouldn’t have, and…w-we needed to go.”

“ _ I hope that is the last time you have to see something like that _ ,” Grillby murmured, reaching up and brushing away another tear that escaped. You gave him a weak smile.

“I…me too, Grillby…I just…can we stop talking about this? I’m…I just want to eat and rest…” you said quietly, hoping that he didn’t take it personally. Grillby, ever understanding, nodded before handing you one of the plates. You gave him another weak smile before shifting the conversation, “I’m glad that you don’t need to be uncomfortable to talk to me now.”

“ _ Even if speaking your language felt like I was swallowing glass, if it meant you could understand me? I'd do it,”  _ Grillby admitted, handing you a plate and herding you to the table. You sat down slowly and rubbed at your face feeling your exhaustion hitting you once again.

“Maybe Gaster can teach us how to talk in hands,” you joked weakly, and Grillby made a noise that sounded  _ almost _ like a snort but was more like a sharp snap of a fire. Neither of you said anything throughout eating the meal, and you felt both your magic replenishing, your stomach filling, and your exhaustion easing ever so slightly. 

The two of you cleaned up before heading back over towards your bedroom. Grillby followed but hesitated at the threshold of your door. “ _ Do you mind if I go and change?”  _ he asked, plucking gently at the front of his under armour tunic. 

You hesitated before nodding stiffly. 

__ Grillby hesitated a moment, eyes drifting over you briefly before he turned and headed over to his room. 

You didn’t bother closing the door as you stripped out of your own clothes and changed into something more comfortable and was the farthest thing from what you had been wearing when…you pushed those thoughts down. Not caring if bottling them up would just cause them to hit you harder later.

You didn’t want to think about Bran’s death…

Instead, you left your room and headed over to Grillby’s. You knocked gently and didn’t have to wait long before he opened the door for you. He didn’t say anything, just turned around and headed back over to his wardrobe and pulled out a fresh tunic. You blushed a bit when he pulled off his shirt, but the embarrassment faded quickly.

A gasp tore from your lips before you could stop it, and Grillby looked over his shoulder at you. Then he quickly pulled on his tunic.

All up his back was a patchwork of fresh scars. Some of the strips of flesh were utterly extinguished, and others were barely wisps of flames. If the small scar on his neck hurt him enough that he had  _ snarled  _ at Nindree for touching them…how much pain was he in from all of those? 

“Grillby-“

“I’m _ fine _ ,” he interrupted, closing the doors to his wardrobe. You wasted no time crossing the room and wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“ _ They do not hurt as badly as the one on my neck did,” _ he admitted softly, patting your arm, “Don’t …don’t _ tell the others.” _

“Why not?” you asked, “Maybe a healer can do something?”

Grillby shook his head, “It’s _ fine…trust me.” _

You did…but at the same time, you knew that he lessened his own issues all the time. Perhaps…you could figure out a way to reignite his other scars without passing out? Last time you had already been entirely drained of your magic, but you would save trying that for another day.

He turned around in your arms, “ _ You should rest.” _

“So should you.”

His eyes glanced over at his bed briefly but then did a double-take. You glanced over and saw the letter where you had left it on his bed…and the fact that the blankets and pillows had clearly been disturbed. “Oh…uh…I may…have slept in your bed,” you admitted quietly.

“ _ I don’t mind, _ ” Grillby said quickly, and you knew he wasn’t lying. “I’m _ embarrassed…that you had to read my feelings through a letter.” _

“You thought you were going to your death,” you responded.

He nodded, eyes still trained on the bed, and then they slowly dropped down to you. “ _ I meant everything I said,”  _ he murmured, reaching up to caress your cheek. “ _ I…suppose that I have been assuming that you feel the same way. _ ”

“I do,” you answered immediately, even if you got embarrassed by the other’s assumptions that you did. 

A broad grin stretched over his face, and he leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss. It was just as soft and careful as the others and ended with a gentle nuzzle against your forehead. When he straightened again, you slid your arms away from his waist and gently took his hand. The exhaustion hit you again as he gently stroked the back of your hand with his thumb. You didn’t want to leave him yet. The thought of waking up back in your home, thinking it was just a dream, didn’t sit well with you.

“Um…this…maybe a bit forward,” you said, feeling your face heat up. “But…do you think…I mean, it’s probably inappropriate, but can…I stay with you?”

You peeked up at him to see his head tilted slightly, “ _ Why would it be inappropriate?” _

Your mouth slackened, and you stared up at him in confusion. “Because? It…is?”

“ _ No?” _

A moment passed, and then he gently led you over to the bed. “ _ Culture difference, I assume?” _

You nodded as he sat down on the bed, pulling you stand between his legs. You flushed a bit in embarrassment. He took your other hand in his and kissed your knuckles. “ _ Why is it inappropriate in your culture?” _

“Oh…um …it’s- ah …it’s because- I…it’s …a…woman and a man… don’t typically share a bed, unless they’re …um…married.” you stumbled through the explanation, embarrassed thoroughly.

Another head tilt, “ _ Why not?” _

“S-S-Sex?” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. A beat went past.

“ _ Sex?” _

You nodded.

Another moment.

You glanced at him quickly, did…he not know what sex was? “I’m not explaining se-“

“ _ I know what sex is. I lived near humans long enough,” _ Grillby quickly clarified face flushing a bit blue, “ _ I just…why would that stop you from sharing a bed?” _

You flushed a bit, “it’s…a woman…you…uh…”

“ _ If it is that embarrassing, you don’t need to explain,”  _ Grillby amended, kissing your knuckles again. You saw his eyes flick over your body. “ _ Unless…uh…you? want? That? I don’t know if I can do…sex…” _

You quickly lifted your hands to cover your face, dragging his hands with them. An embarrassed noise left your throat. Neither of you spoke until you lowered your hands. “I! Think! We should sleep!” you forced out, then added more softly, “I just…don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Grillby nodded, then stood up and picked the letter off of the bed. He folded it back up and placed it aside before fluffing up his bed. You walked around to the other side of the bed and slid beneath the single thin blanket. For a moment, you were worried that you’d become too cold as it was threatening to snow again, but the moment Grillby laid down next to you, that worry was quickly dismissed. You didn’t think you could ever feel cold next to him.

With only a touch of hesitation, you reached towards him, and he shifted to allow you to cuddle up against his side.

For a moment, you were stiff, especially as you felt the awkwardness rolling off of Grillby as well.

Then, the two of you relaxed almost as one. Your SOUL thrummed happily, and you could practically feel Grillby’s SOUL beneath the hand you rested against his chest thrum identically. The softest smile formed on your face as your eyes slipped shut. 

“I’m glad I went back there,” you whispered after a moment. The softest questioning pulse ebbed from Grillby’s SOUL. “To the Citadel…I was terrified, and I do regret what happened to Bran. But…at the end of the day?” you opened your eyes to look up at him, “I’d do it all over again, just to have you home safe again.”

Affection washed over your SOUL, and your smile grew.

“ _ I…know you do not wish to talk about Bran…but, can you tell me about your true family? Druhim and Chief?” _ he asked, voice barely a whisper. You were quiet for a moment, the pain in your chest at hearing their names wanted you to just pull up the blanket and tell him you didn’t want to talk about them. Yet, you worried that the only other living being in the world that remembered Druhim and Chief as they were was Gerson.

“Druhim…Papa would call me ‘my little moon’ because he said my smile was bright like the moon,” you whispered, slowly drawing shapes against Grillby’s chest. “Chief…Da…he would braid my hair  _ every _ morning and sing me this beautiful lullaby in an ancient Mage language each night. They’d dance together to the sound of the ocean when they thought I was in bed, but I’d sneak out just to watch them. I’d bring them cute things I found in the woods, stones, flowers, even a frog or two. Druhim…he cried pebbles and was  _ so  _ expressive.” 

You laughed softly, as another memory popped into your mind, “One time, I snuck to the ocean and met some sea monsters, and we played together…but I got caught in the little cave we were in because of high tide. Papa…he freaked out…I don’t remember how I got home, but I remember being scolded, and then I yanked my skirt out of my little belt and hundreds of shells just…fell onto the floor, and they both went silent as I started telling them about the different shells instead of listening to them scold me.”

Grillby chuckled, and then you sat up.

“Stay here,” you ordered, clambering over him and off the bed. You felt another questioning pulse as you darted into your room and scooped up the shell you had gotten from the beach with Gerson before hurrying back over. You held it out towards Grillby, and he accepted it gently. “Our trip took us past the village, and I had the urge to collect shells. It reminded me of your smile,” you said and were rewarded by his sharp smile. You smiled back, and he reached up to the small shelf above his bed and placed the shell beside a small jar with two flames in it. “What’s that?” you asked, climbing back onto the bed.

“ _ My parents' flames,”  _ he said quietly.

“How?” 

Grillby held out his hand and conjured a small flame in his hand, then he took one of your hands and tipped the small flame into your palm. You felt the warmth of it against your skin, and while it did feel like Grillby’s magic, there was something different about it. “ _ If we conjure magic with the intent to keep it around forever, it will last even if we don’t.” _

You cupped the tiny flame in both hands and felt your smile grow slightly, “Will this one stick around?”

“ _ No, I made it to show…but I can create one if…you want it?”  _ he said, and your eyes reluctantly left the little fire to meet his gaze. You smiled widely at him.

“Please?”

“ _ Then I’ll make one,”  _ he promised, and then reached out and reabsorbed the tiny flames from your hands. You shifted to settle against his side again. “ _ Your father, Druhim…he was wrong about your smile.” _

You frowned, feeling the sting of insult. “What?”

“ _ The moon has nothing on the beauty of your smile.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with your boy <3
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	24. Family

War had been declared.

Whenever you read about past wars or heard about the stories, it always sounded like a declaration of war meant fighting would start immediately. You’d never get a night's rest again in your life as you’d be too busy fighting or seeing your fallen friends behind your eyelids to be able to get some sleep.

Instead, you were stuck idly by as you waited for something to happen.

Worried about the safety of your friends and loved ones.

The declaration from humanity had been received a week past. Accusing monster-kind of forcing humanity's hand. You had laughed a bitter, humourless laugh when Asgore had told you that. Of course, blame the other side for starting the bloodshed and blame them for defending themselves. Though, they had the perfect cover for their crime of warmongering. Riagol supposedly attacked first, then his son, Asgore, hadn’t surrendered based on the terms the Grandmaster had sent, and then finally, you had broken out the two monsters that had been giving humanity an edge over monster kind.

The problem with the war?

You knew Asgore was right in what he said before you had left to rescue Grillby.

Monster kind were not fighters, and humanity had too many people who they could conscript into fighting.

Monsters couldn’t conscript anyone into fighting…a monster who doesn’t want to harm just won’t do harm.

That was why, instead of putting all of his resources into fighting, Asgore was more concerned about getting the citizens to safety. He sent out runners telling monster kind to go to one of the various ports where the sea monster kind would be escorting ships to safety.

You just hoped that safety was actually safety, and they weren’t going to end up in the same scenario, only a different land.

The capital would be the last to evacuate fully. Those who wanted to leave early were sent with the runners to assist other monsters to the ports. Your gaze slowly took in the sight of the city below you; it was still bustling as always. A majority of those who stayed were willing to fight, or they were healers who wanted to remain behind to assist those who would be injured in the fighting. Quite a few citizens stuck around as well, saying they wouldn’t leave their family members to fight without their support.

Though, you had overheard quite a few conversations of optimistic monsters saying they didn’t think that there _would_ be fighting.

You hadn’t the heart to tell them that humanity had a very different outlook on monsters, and they would do anything they could to eradicate the threat.

They’d killed children, after all, because they were perceived as a threat.

That brought your focus on why you up the mountain by your lonesome once again. You leaned back against the rock face and dropped your gaze back down to the grimoire in your lap. The past couple of days were spent healing and resting with Grillby, and eventually, he was strong enough to return back to his duties in the Royal Guard. While he was working, you would take the Grandmaster’s grimoire and hike up the mountain to read it.

You flipped another page, and a letter slid out, loosened without the weight of the other pages pinning it into place. A frown graced your face as you picked it up and unfolded it.

_Dear Grandbastard Saggy Marquis,_

_It has been a long time, my old friend. If I can even call you that anymore. Please tell your old self that I do miss him. He was a delight…unlike the man you have become._

_Ah…perhaps I shouldn’t be insulting you through paper? One day I might do it to your face, wouldn’t that be a fun event?_

_Anyways, perhaps this is a mistake as well…but I have broken my allegiance with the human kingdom years ago, and you were my closest friend whilst I lived in the Citadel, but that has long since passed. Druhim does say I write too much but say little in my letters, and I suppose he is right._

_You would hate Druhim; he is everything that you stand against. A monster? Emotional? Not to mention that he is also a man, and you are very against men loving other men because you are an emotionless beast._

_What was I writing to you for?........._

_……._

_Oh. Right._

_I wish things were different between us. I wish that you would be happy for me just as you were when we were friends, laughing at the antics of those older than us and drinking on top of the tower._

_But that is a lifetime ago._

_A world before._

_Druhim and I have a child._

_I am happy._

_Your soul is rotten._

_Though if I know you, you will try to change the prophecy into an outcome in your favour…but we both know that if you do, you will die a horrid death._ _Things have been set into motion that we cannot change, old friend….and I bear you all the ill intent and hatred that I can muster within my bones._

_Even if I do not see your death with my living eyes, I will feel it in the magic I leave behind, and I will revel in it._

_Your dearest friend,_

_The Chief._

_P.S: May your food taste as bitter as your soul, you fucking walnut._

You re-read the letter over and over again, a war of amusement for your father’s disrespect to the Grandmaster and utter sadness that you were probably reading the only remaining physical written proof of your father’s existence in your hands.

What had been the Grandmaster’s response to this? You knew that he enraged easily…

You glanced at the grimoire, hoping to find some answer…and you did. An entry about how his old friend had birthed a demon and that he had tried to stop it from happening years ago, but the demons were growing stronger…and they must be eradicated, or the dark prophecy would come true.

You suddenly felt a bit ill at reading his words.

Both of them mentioned prophecy…but your father, your true father, seemed to wish for the prophecy to come true whilst the Grandmaster thought it bad. Especially considering your father mentioned that the Grandmaster would die if the prophecy comes true.

Neither of them mentioned what the prophecy was exactly…and you found yourself glad. You’d always hated the thought of prophetic futures, and you didn’t want to know what was to come. You didn’t want to leave your life up to fate or chance; you wanted to have some semblance of control.

You started to ignore his journal entries as you didn’t want to stumble on the prophecy written down accidentally.

So, you focused on the other aspect of the book — the spells. Along with regular spells, there were foul ones that left you with the taste of bile in your throat just by reading them. There were more than a few spells you tore out and destroyed. Let the darkness end when he died. You wouldn’t allow them to fall into anyone else’s hands, for they had no reason to exist outside of evil usage.

There was a page near the start of the grimoire that had the corner folded, and so far, and contained the most remarkable spell. It was a work in progress, an ‘unbinding’ spell if the notes on the opposite page were to be believed — specifically, an unbinding spell for you. Not _for_ you, really, but to use on you. It hadn’t been actually tested on you, as you didn’t see the attempts marked down as the other spells did.

Druhim and your name were scribbled in the paper, as well as in the spell.

Had the Grandmaster been attempting to break your connection to Druhim somehow? Was it an attempt to make you solely human? Was that even possible? You weren’t even sure how you were different from any other human. All the monsters that had seen your SOUL hadn’t recognized it as anything but a human SOUL. You were sure that _someone_ would’ve pointed it out…unless. Well, would any of the monsters who had seen your SOUL have seen a Halflings SOUL? More importantly…had they seen any _human_ SOUL?

Gaster said that he had done research into human SOULs before…perhaps…yeah, you’d go speak with him about examining your SOUL.

Even if the idea of something so intimate to you being studied didn’t sit well with you.

You felt soft vibrations under you, and now you knew that they meant someone was walking towards you. A moment later, you saw Gerson’s head crest the small lip of the cliff face as he finished climbing. He gave a big show about being exhausted from the climb, even though you knew that he neither needed to breathe nor grew exhausted from long trips. No muscles meant no problem.

“There ya are,” he said, waddling over to you and plopping down on the ground next to you. He peered down at the grimoire before shuddering slightly. “No wonder ya come out here to read that.”

You closed the tome and set it aside. “Yeah, it feels wrong to read it at home.”

Gerson nodded. Silence filled the air between the two of you.

“You doing alright there, kid?”

You looked over at him and then down at your hands. “I’m…there’s a lot…”

“Vivaldi filled us in about ya friend,” Gerson said, reaching over and patting your knee. “It hurts ta loss a friend.”

Tears stung your eyes at the mention of Bran, but you wiped at your eyes discreetly.

“Uh…well, that’s…not all,” you muttered, rubbing at your arms lightly. “Ger…You said…that the Halflings don’t turn to dust when they die…right?”

Gerson’s face twisted up in pain and confusion, his hand tensed slightly on your knee. “They do not.”

"How…did you find all the Halfling’s bodies?” you spoke so softly, knowing that you would cause him pain by digging up those buried memories.

“…no, the…the Chief’s daughter’s body was never recovered,” Gerson admitted quietly, “The runner said they saw Chief take his daughter out of the forest. We searched for her for a week, spoke to the sea monsters in case they saw her and helped her escape…but nothing.”

“Could…could it have been possible that…the Citadel Mages…took her?”

Gerson tensed further beside you, “Halflings are illegal to the humans…why would they-“ he cut himself off, staring at you with almost new eyes. “Do…ya know something?”

“She…I…gave you a crown of golden flowers the last time I saw you,” you whispered ever so softly.

His face didn’t change for a moment.

“How do…how come you didn’t know that before?” he asked, voice carefully neutral.

“Bran…told me to say Druhim,” you responded.

“…and you are sure that it ain’t a manipulation of your memories?”

That…

Was a good point.

There was no even guaranteeing that you were back at the capital right now. How much was the Grandmaster able to manipulate? Did Bran even die? Did you even rescue Grillby and Gaster? Was there any way to be able to tell? Hopefully, you didn’t think that the Grandmaster could manipulate your mind enough that you wouldn’t be able to _fully_ recognize the difference between reality and what he made up. There was always some realism to the manipulations before…however, you only saw through the manipulation because Toriel had directly healed your SOUL the last time, erased all the work that the Grandmaster had done.

If Gaster examined your SOUL, would that reveal any manipulations? Did he have enough information to be able to do that?

But…if it was a manipulation of your memories…how did you know such specific things? How did you know that Druhim called you ‘little moon’ or that you gave Gerson dandelion flowers as a crown?

You glanced over at him, “I can’t say for sure that it’s not…but there are things I remember even vaguely that I don’t think the Grandmaster could’ve even thought of? Like the lullaby, Da used to sing to me-“

“Da?” Gerson interrupted, “Which one did you call Da?”

“Chief.”

He reached up and stroked his beard, “How much do you remember of that final day? Do you remember if Chief performed a certain spell?”

You didn’t have to think hard about that; you merely nodded and proceeded to recount what you remembered of that last day. The terror you felt. The uncertainty. Everything. How little you remembered beyond how you felt and what you heard. The spell that your father did…you remembered he _did_ cast a spell on you, but honestly? You were too busy crying.

You hadn’t been looking at Gerson through your recount, and when you looked back over, he wasn’t facing you anymore. You couldn’t really see his face fully from this angle, but you could tell that it still held the same pain as before. Though, his hand didn’t stop stroking his beard.

Silence settled around the two of you for a while, and you didn’t feel the urge to fill it with anything.

Eventually, he cleared his throat. “There…have been some legends about human-monster couplings, especially that of a Mage and Monster coupling. I don’t know if it’s true…but if it is…”

“What legend?”

“Can ya try something for me first?” he asked, struggling to his feet.

“Uh…sure?”

“Ya said that ya just spoke Druhim’s name, and ya remembered who he was,” Gerson said, gesturing vaguely in your direction. “Can ya try to picture him for me? As if he were standin’ right in front of ya.”

Your eyebrow quirked up, and you slowly nodded.

After closing your eyes, you pulled up the last full memory you had of Druhim. His large stature. He rivalled Riagol in height…well, you assumed he had. You could barely remember seeing Riagol when you were younger. The Queen had visited your village much more often. However, he was much broader than Riagol; you remembered that he had almost spinous like protrusions along his back that you used to scurry up his back. His eyes were more crystalline than the rest of his form and glowed softly with magic.

You imagined how tall he would be compared to you now. When you were a child, you could easily fit in his colossal sized hands. Your mind started to wander towards how you would compare to Chief. Would you be the same height as him? From what you remembered, you had the same skin tone and hair colour as him, but your eyes more closely resembled the colour of Druhim’s crystal eyes.

How did Gerson not recognize that you were Chief and Druhim’s daughter?

“Yer not focusin’ are ya?” Gerson’s voice broke your concentration, and you frowned, eyes cracking open to look at him.

“Gerson…I look almost identical to how Da looked…how did you not make the connection?” you asked, crossing your arms defensively over your chest.

He raised a hairy eyebrow, “Do ya? I gotta be honest wi’ ya…it’s real hard for me to tell the difference between humans. Yer…’diversity’ ain’t nothing on what monsters have.”

“Vivaldi and Gaster are literally two skeletal monsters,” you threw a hand towards the capital, “and I can tell them apart.”

“S’cus Viv’s got a wider skull and is shorter,” Gerson defended, “but ta be honest, I did think ya looked familiar…and did think of Chief when I first saw ya, but I believed his lil’girl ta be dead. Not a twenty-some-year-old woman. Believe me, if I had known, I woulda said.”

You exhaled the bit of irritation that you felt out before closing your eyes. He was right. Gerson wasn’t the type to beat around the bush about things, and if he had _known_ who you were? There was no way that he would’ve just left you that first time he saw you, to fend for yourself.

It was easier this time to bring Druhim back into the forefront of your mind, and picturing what he’d look like standing in front of you. His tall, broad stature would probably block out the entire view if he were standing close enough to you.

You smiled at that.

But…why were you trying to picture Druhim in front of you? Gerson still hadn’t answered that?

“Ger, why aH!”

You jumped back, suddenly staring into stone, and felt your foot catch. You barely noted that you fell on your ass, staring up at the towering monster standing in front of you. The monster tossed they’re head back and let out an absolute roar of laughter that sent some birds scattering away. When they dropped their head back to look at you, your stomach dropped.

“Papa…”

“It worked?” you heard Gerson muttered in surprise.

You ignored him.

Instead, you jumped immediately to your feet and threw yourself at Druhim.

Only to stumble right through his form, grasp nothing but air.

Tears sprung into your eyes.

“Why!” you snapped, whirling towards Gerson, “Why would you do this to me?”

Gerson’s eyebrows flew upward, startled by the anger in your voice, “Do what?”

“Make me conjure up an illusion of my father! I thou-I thought…he was…re-really…. _here,_ ” your voice cracked, and you pressed the heel of your hands to your eyes as a sob ripped through you. An alarmed pulse hit your SOUL, and you instantly lashed out in angry sadness.

“ _Oh…my little moon,_ _this is no illusion,_ ” Druhim spoke, his voice much wispier and airier than you remembered. “ _It is an ancient practice that combines my dust with your magic…”_

“ _W-What d…what does that mean?”_ you sobbed out, turning towards him. Druhim had knelt down, one finger brushing touchless over your cheek. You were right. His hand was still so large.

“ _As long as you live, so do I,”_ Druhim said, voice _full_ of just love and happiness that you let out another sob, arms wrapping around yourself as you sunk to your knees. Even as you cried, you refused to close your eyes…just in case upon opening them again. He’d be gone. You…didn’t know how you would handle it if you couldn’t see him again.

“ _I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything to save you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,”_ your voice started to give out as your tears grew more substantial, and your chest tightened. Still, you kept repeating, ‘I’m sorry’ like a mantra, trying to reach out to touch his face and feeling yourself become more broken when you couldn’t touch anything.

“ _No, no, no,”_ he whispered, “ _It’s not your fault; you were just a little one. Do not blame yourself. It’s alright, shhh…Just…be thankful that we can speak to each other now._ ”

You cried and cried, feeling your throat grow hoarse, and your eyes become puffy. Your lungs burned, but you kept crying and apologizing. A hand rested on your back and began to rub it soothingly. Gerson murmured something to you, but you couldn’t hear it over your own sobs.

Grillby literally slid into view beside you, and you saw his flames snapping in panic. Instead of saying anything, you threw your arms around him, needing to hold onto something substantial. You sobbed against him as you couldn’t be held by your own father…even if he was less than a foot away from you. All of the feelings you had been bottling up over the days…weeks…months…years, just exploded out of you, and even the profoundly comforting intent that Grillby gave out wouldn’t soothe you.

You honestly didn’t know how long you just sobbed against him.

Eventually, though, the gushing emotions trickled to a stop, and you reluctantly pulled away from Grillby.

“ _There we are,”_ Druhim said gently, his ghostly finger brushing nonexistent against your cheek. “ _You should never bottle up your feelings like that, my little one. I am glad that you got it all out. I was afraid your SOUL would burst.”_

“Who the hell’s this?” Nindree’s voice interrupted what you were about to say.

Gerson introduced, “Druhim, this is Nindree. Nindree, meet Druhim.”

Nindree gave an awkward grimace of a smile, “care to explain why the HELL my bestie is crying?”

“ _I can’t hug him_ ,” you blurted out the most pressing thought.

Nindree frowned at you. “…what?”

“ _Nindree can’t understand you,_ ” Grillby reminded you gently, his fingers stroking your cheeks and evaporating the tears.

“I…this is my dad,” you said, gesturing towards Druhim weakly. Nindree’s eyebrows flew up.

“WAIT!” she shouted, “THAT MEANS-“

Gerson waddled over to her, patting her shoulder, “I’ll explain it to ya, give the Lionheart and her papa some time to talk.”

“Wait!” Nindree tried again, but whatever look Gerson gave her, shut her up. She nodded curtly, tossing you a look that told you that you would be telling her later again what was going on. As she turned, Gerson looked back towards the three of you.

“It is nice to see you again, Druhim,” he said, giving your father an almost bittersweet smile before he and Nindree headed back down towards the capital.

You tugged Grillby’s arm a bit tighter around you, needing to feel grounded by something. There was an ache in your SOUL that he was attempting to soothe, and you were immensely grateful that he was there for you. To dry your tears and calm you down after you break down.

When you met Druhim’s gaze again, the tears quickly returned.

“ _You know, when you used to cry, I would get you to turn into my little pebble. Do you remember how to do that?”_ he asked.

You shook your head, feeling the tears slip down your cheeks. You apologized again, but he merely shook his head.

“ _That’s okay_ ,” he reassured, “ _Just imagine your SOUL flipping on its head.”_

Another sniffle and you did as he said.

Your skin instantly shifted to stone, and both you and Grillby jumped in surprise.

Druhim couldn’t hold back a bark of laughter.

Grillby smoothed his fingers over your rough skin, and you shivered. His touch felt…weird and different. It felt muffled…but stronger at the same time. You couldn’t feel his heat as well, but you could feel the stony texture of his skin much more pronounced.

You reached up and ran your fingertips over his cheek, marvelling at the difference it felt.

His flames blushed slightly, and he cleared his throat, eyes flashing towards Druhim. You blushed as well, withdrawing your hands and peering over at your father. His eyes twinkled in delight, and he reached over and poked at your nose. You didn’t feel it, but you still felt a smile stretch over your face. Druhim gave Grillby a sly smile before speaking up, ” _A perfect mate, my little moon, someone as bright as you.”_

Druhim leaned down and nuzzled against your face, and even if you couldn’t feel it, the motion had you smiling wetly. Now that the anguish in your SOUL had faded, you were starting to realize that he was right, you were thankful that you could see and talk to him again.

Druhim’s face contorted in thought before he turned to address Grillby fully, “ _Are you Kindra’s son?”_

Grillby’s flames flared a bit in surprise, “ _Yes…how could you tell? Did you know her?”_

Druhim scoffed lightly, “ _back then, all elementals knew each other. We are-ah were a small bunch. Summoned Elementals, at least, not the offspring. Knew your father too, but I was closer to Kindra,”_ his face fell slightly, “ _back when I was still…Elementals were becoming rare…I fear for the future of our kind.”_

“Grillby’s going to be an uncle,” you announced and was rewarded by seeing your father’s face light up the brightest it had been since being summoned. Then, all at once, tiny pebbles started leaking from his face, dissipating when they hit the ground. You reached towards Druhim’s face attempting to soothe him, but he just laughed through his tears.

“ _There hadn’t been an elemental child in years. I am glad things are going so well…”_

That had you pause, and you didn’t even need to look at Grillby to tell that he was thinking the same thing you were.

“Papa…war has been declared between humans and monsters,” you spoke softly and watched as your father's face crumpled wholly. His eyes searched your face as if to try to find something that proved that you were lying to him, telling an awful joke. Yet…he would find nothing as much as you too wanted it to be a terrible, cruel joke. It wasn’t.

“ _Your Da…he died during the attack as well?”_ Druhim asked suddenly, and you heard the heartbreak in his voice even before you confirmed it. There was a loud grating sound, and then he stood up, “ _Who raised you? Gerson? One of the others in the village?”_

“...I…was the only one to survive. The Citadel Mages raised me,” you answered, and you saw the disbelief in his eyes.

“ _I failed you.”_

You tried to reach out to your father, but he stepped back.

“You didn’t,” you said, voice cracking, “ _Papa, you didn’t.”_

Druhim’s gaze dropped to the floor. “ _There is no changing the past…but I can be here for you now.”_

You nodded, eyes wet with tears again.

It seemed like all you were doing lately was crying.

“ _However_ , _as I do not know the exact effect me being summoned will have on you, it is best only to summon me in times of great need.”_

You fell quiet at that, and he reached out to stroke your cheek again with a giant finger. Grillby’s SOUL soothed your own before you even noticed that your mood was dropping again. A small pulse of gratitude went towards him, and his fingers intertwined around your own as you said, “but I’ll always need you.”

That didn’t help the mood, and you and your father sat unable to touch each other and cried. However, crying felt different, and you quickly became aware that tiny pebbles were rolling down your cheeks instead. That made you imagine your SOUL flipping the other way, and your skin returned to you, along with the heat of Grillby’s hand.

“ _I’m always with you, my little moon, even when you cannot see me. Now that you know how to summon me…you can speak to me whenever you need it. Just say my name, and I will hear,”_ Druhim explained as his tears lessened. His large hand coming to rest over your SOUL.

You didn’t want to keep crying. You really didn’t. This was your time to be around your father, for as short or long as that may be. So, you wiped at your with your sleeve and then got to your feet. With a wet smile, you said, “You couldn’t train me when I was a child…but I’d be honoured if you could now.”

That just made the giant rock monster start sobbing into his hands before he bellowed out, “my baby GIRL IS AN ADULT AND LOOK AT HER SHE COULD’VE LIFTED HER FATHER WITH ONE ARM!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that and gave a little flex much to your father’s delight. Grillby smiled softly and then kissed your hair.

The Grandmaster had tried to take you away from your family, your people…but you had a feeling that no matter what, you’d always find them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papa!!!!!!!!!
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	25. Bonding Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I totally forgot that I promised Dark_Akatsuki that I'd post name pronunciations when I introduce new characters.
> 
> So!
> 
> Cendris - Sinned-ris (like wrist without the 't')  
> Druhim - Drew-he-m  
> Raeanch - Ray-an-act

Raeanch handed over a bundle of fabric, blabbering a bunch of instructions on how to care for the gown and other things that you half-listened to. They grinned with their sharp spidery teeth, patted your hand and told you that you were going to look lovely and if you needed help with your hair, just ask. You gave a hopefully convincing grin before they darted off with more bundles of fabric underneath their multiple arm pairs.

“What’s _that?”_ Grillby asked as you closed the door and started for your bedroom.

“Toriel and Viv made me get a dress for the celebration today,” you said, unfurling the outer layer of the dress so you could look at it. You flinched. “This is so impractical!” you shook the fabric lightly, “It’s not even robust enough that I can reuse it for something else.”

Grillby chuckled,” _You can reuse it for future celebrations.”_

You shot him an exasperated look,”Not you too!”

“ _I have formal wear, too,”_ he pointed out, “It’s _nice to have something special, and I’m sure you will look lovely in that.”_

“Why does it matter what I look like,” you grumbled more to yourself than to him, but then you sighed, “ When this is all over, please let me live in the forest again. I miss the seclusion.”

“ _No, you don’t,”_ Grillby said, leaning down as you passed to give you a kiss on the head. You lingered beside him and then held the dress up to him.

“You can wear this, I’ll wear your formal wear,” you teased, “ You’ll look lovely!”

Grillby crackled in amusement,” _I would, but it won’t fit. You’re much too small for me to wear your clothing, and you would look like a child in mine.”_

You snorted at that, ”Hey, I got used to fitting too big clothing to myself. I had to make do with what I had. How long do we have until we need to make an appearance?”

“ _I was about to start changing myself, we have about an hour before we’ll be expected,”_ he said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You tilted your head slightly into his touch subconsciously as you hummed in response. He bent down and gently pressed his forehead to yours, and your eyes slid closed. The two of you stood there, enjoying the closeness. It still surprised you how easily affection came to you around Grillby. Each time he did something like kiss your cheek in the morning as he gave you breakfast, you got butterflies in your stomach, and you would blush.

You’d get so flustered with his closeness because you spent so long barely touching him, and now it seemed as if neither of you could be within arm’s reach of each other without needing to.

Eventually, the two of you did separate and head into your different rooms. Even though your room was just a place for you to change and store your things, as you had taken to sleeping with Grillby at night. 

Now that your mind was off Grillby and back to the offending fabric in your hands, you took a deep breath as you lowered it onto the trunk at the foot of your bed. You stripped from your trousers and tunic, placing aside your belt with the dagger on it, and changed into the provided shift. At least that was familiar to you. You pulled the dress on over your head, adjusting it the way that Raeanch had informed you to, and then put on the provided belt as well. Which, honestly? It was more decoration than function.

Though, now that you had the dress on…you begrudgingly admitted that it was…comfortable. The neckline wasn’t too low for you, the skirt just brushed the ground, and had a second slightly shorter layer inside so you could tuck the longer dress into your belt if you got fed up with the length. The sleeves were form-fitting until your elbows and then flared out, which you would’ve thought would be completely obnoxious when moving, but it almost felt freeing. 

The dress had intricate embroidery as well that made your mind flashback to the Citadel and the higher ranked mages lengths. However, the embroidery told less of a story than the lengths. Instead, it was tiny embroidered leaves and flowers just a few shades darker than the fabric colour, so you barely noticed it until the fabric shifted.

It was incredibly well made but was still too light for your liking. As long as you stuck to Grillby’s side for the entire celebration, you’d be fine, but the snow had started to fall the other day. It hadn’t built up more than a few centimetres here and there, but you knew the night was going to be cold.

You emerged from your bedroom with some ribbon the same colour as your dress and began to plait your hair, which you hadn’t bothered to cut yet. Every time you meant to trim it to something more manageable, something happened. It wasn’t a big deal, and you, more or less, just braided it and pined it out of the way anyways.

Grillby emerged just as you finished your hair, and you glanced over.

You’d seen him plenty of times in armour, and quite a few times in simple tunic and pants, but you’d never seen him like dressed up before…and you _really_ liked it. He was wearing a deep navy blue tunic that had silver embroidered flames flowing down from the shoulders, down the front before scooping around towards the back near the bottom. The threads must’ve been made out of actual silver as they reflected his flames in such a mesmerizing way. His cape was much the same, but the flames were much more detailed, and the colour of the cape shifted from dark navy to indigo to deep purple. It hung off one shoulder, as well, which you found at first odd, but the more you stared at him, the more you liked it. Simple black pants with dark black leather boots completed the rest of the look.

It took a while before either of you realized that neither of you had spoken since he had emerged. Instead, you were just staring at each other. His face tinted blue, and yours tinted red.

“It’s not fair,” you blurted out when your eyes finally met his.

“ _Pardon?”_ he asked, seeming a bit surprised that that was the first words out of your mouth.

“How in the hells, are you more attractive?” you demanded, gesturing at him, “I’ve seen you in tunics before?”

Grillby’s flames were almost entirely blue at that admission, and he covered his face with one hand. “ _I should be asking you that,_ ” he responded, slightly muffled. You felt your face grow even hotter and you fiddled with your braid. As the two of you fell into silence, clearly too flustered to speak, your SOULs took over instead. Gentle pleased pulses ebbed from Grillby, and you found yourself smiling uncontrollably. “ _Wait…I forgot something,”_ he said suddenly, turning and hurrying back into his room. You frowned slightly but waited for him to re-emerge. When he did, he was holding something in his hand.

He walked over to you and then held up a fabric necklace with a glass monster SOUL shaped pendant. Inside was a small flame that flickered along with Grillby’s flame. He seemed to blush, and you saw the flame tint blue as well. “ _You said you wanted one…”_ he said softly as you gently ran a fingertip over the pendant. 

“This is beautiful,” you replied just as softly. You’d never really worn jewellery before, it wasn’t allowed in the Citadel really, and you’d never seen the need for it when you lived alone. He slipped the necklace around your neck and gently secured it in place.

The pendant was warm, and your SOUL seemed extra content at the closeness to your SOULmates flames. You reached up and fiddled with the pendant, happiness and content washing through you.

“ _I have not seen a more beautiful sight,”_ Grillby stated finally, before extending a hand towards you, “ _Are you ready, my love?”_

Your hands flew up to cover your face at that, a light squeak escaping your lips. Grillby chuckled, crossing the small space to stand by you. He pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head. You snuck your arms around his waist and hugged him back tightly. Comfort eased into your chest, and you tilted your head to look up at him.

“I’m ready,” you said, and he bent down to kiss you briefly, before taking your arm in his and leading you from your house.

The entire village was decorated for the event. Small magical flames hovered above the streets, providing not only light but the warmth in the cold, snowy air. The snow fluttered down only to be melted and dissipated before they could reach the ground. Monsters were dressed in their finest clothing, and the market had been converted for the celebration. It was now full of food, drink, decorations, and music.

Grillby led you straight over to Nindree and Cherja, who were both dressed for the occasion as well. Nindree’s outfit was starkly different from what you were used to, and Cherja’s was as well. Both revealed much more skin than you were used to but was also somehow perfect for each of them. Nindree’s hair was also out of all her tight intricate braids, flowing loosely about her shoulders. From the fact she kept shoving her hair back, you guessed that it might’ve not been her decision to change up her hairstyle.

She beamed when she saw you and pressed a mug of something into your hands. It felt warm, and you quickly thanked her.

“Hey, Grillbz, your sister’s been asking where you are,” Nindree said, nudging him with her elbow, “If you keep avoiding introducing Lionheart to your sister, I’m going to start thinking you’re ashamed of her!”

Grillby gave her an unimpressed look, “ _The only relationship I’m ashamed of is my friendship with you.”_

Nindree clutched at her chest, “OUCH! Did you hear that, Cher? My own brother-”

“We’re _not related.”_

“MY OWN BROTHER! Is ashamed of me!”

Cherja quirked a brow slightly, “I think it wasss warranted.”

Nindree gasped, and you snickered at her absolutely offended look. “Cher! You’re supposed to be on MY side!”

“I wasss two drinksss ago,” Cherja teased, glancing down at the drink in Nindree’s hand. “You are a lightweight, my dear.”

“Am NOT.”

“Are too.”

Before they could spiral anymore into their bickering, you felt significantly warmer before another elemental stepped up to the small group. She was an orange fire elemental, and just as tall as Grillby. A scowl on her face had you pausing as she suddenly jabbed a finger into Grillby’s chest.

“ _GRILLBY. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.”_

“ _Cendris! I’m delighted to see you as well,”_ Grillby spoke, seemingly unfazed by the woman’s anger. Though, you felt the guilt ebb from him quickly even as he tried to cover it up. “ _How is-”_

“You’ve _been back in the city for how long? Been too busy to check in with me? Ignoring my messages? I’ve been worried SICK about you; you are absolutely the worst brother I could’ve ever been graced with!!”_ she snapped, jabbing him again. “ _If you weren’t my fire and brimstone, I would kick your ass!”_

Grillby gently placed his hands on your shoulders and pulled you in front of him. Surprise flared through you, and you instantly knew he was using you as a human meat shield against his sister. You didn’t get the chance to call him out on it as he sputtered, “ _Cendris, meet my SOULmate.”_

The woman’s angry crackling faded slightly, her eyes flickering down to yours. Her head tilted and then her flames brightened, “ _Oh my stars! She’s adorable! So small! Wait. Are you sure she’s an adult human? I didn’t ever think you’d be with a human either.”_

 _“I’m definitely an adult,”_ you responded, face burning in embarrassment, before offering your name, “It’s _a pleasure to **finally** meet you Cendris.” _That barb was directed at Grillby too, and you felt another guilt spike through the connection. 

The orange flames shifted blue, and she covered her face, “Oh! I didn’t! You know how to speak elemental? I’m so sorry! Wait. How can she speak Elemental? Is she your full mate? Can Humans learn elemental? Wait! You’re trying to distract me! How dare you use your mate to try to distract me! You absolute,” she said something that you didn’t understand, “You can’t hide from me just because you know I’m angry with you! Ugh! You can stand toe-to-toe with a human trying to kill you, but you cower when your sister is rightfully furious with you, YOU HOT HEAD!”

“She’s _a Halfling,”_ Grillby supplemented, “ _I think I hear Gaster calling me.”_

Cendris’ head snapped up, and she went to shout, but by the absence of heat behind you, you knew that Grillby had just fled the scene and left you with his sister. Nindree burst into laughter, bending in half and _cackling_. You glared over your shoulder at Grillby’s retreating form. Cendris had been in the city for a few months before you had left for a year, and he hadn’t introduced you to her. Now that he finally did introduce the two of you, he hadn’t even stuck around.

You made a mental note to speak to him about that later.

Cendris said something that you took for a swear from the way she said it, ”I am going to smother him. Not even fully introducing us,” she shook her head, “My brother does not speak about his private life often with me. SO! How did you two meet? I thought all the Halflings were dead? Wait, that’s probably insensitive of me. I’m sorry! Back to my original question, how did you two meet? Was it love at first sight? I doubt it with my brother, he’s so oblivious to his feelings.”

You were a bit taken back by not only how faster she spoke but by the fact that she sort of continued speaking past her questions, not giving you a chance to answer them. Nindree snickered quietly into her hand, leaning against Cherja, both of them not jumping in to assist you but watching you with amusement.

“Uh…we…we met at a feast King Riagol was holding in the village,” you explained, returning your gaze onto the large fiery woman. “Uh…he didn’t …confess his feelings until about a year ago?”

Cendris let out a peal of crackling laughter, that was so similar to Grillby it eased your nerves slightly. “How long did you two know each other before he confessed? I bet it was a couple years at _least_.”

“Four years?” Nindree offered with a smirk, “That old fart takes forever to figure out if he likes someone or not.”

Cendris giggled, “It took him five years to decide he liked my SOULmate!”

Nindree and Cendris quickly fell into bantering about how long it takes Grillby to warm up to someone and the various stories surrounding that. You found the tension in your shoulders easing, and you intentionally sent out an irritated spike of intent towards Grillby’s SOUL before adding a forgiving one right after. An apologetic pulse returned in response before a few moments later, Grillby was back at your side.

This time, he was with another fire elemental, he was a green fire elemental which surprised you. Again, a part of you started questioning whether or not they come in a variety of colours and what made them be different colours. However, all questions faded in your mind when you noticed what Grillby was carrying.

In Grillby’s arms was a small green Egg, and you watched Grillby’s flames flicker happily as his gaze was locked on the Egg.

“Ah!” Cendris turned towards the two with a warm smile on her face, “ _I see you finally get to meet Fuku_!”

 _“You decided on a name?”_ Grillby said, his voice full of affectionate warmth as he stopped beside you, shifting the Egg so you could see it better. You reached up hesitantly, before touching it at Grillby’s silent encouragement and stroked the smooth surface. Fuku’s tiny SOUL flipped happily, and you beamed at it. Ignoring the conversation going on around you to focus on the Egg.

The sudden hush over the crowd brought you out of your quiet moment with the Egg, and you looked over to see Asgore and Toriel standing on one of the higher levels of the city. The crowd watched as the two newly-bonded pair walked down, both dressed elegantly, with crowns resting atop their heads. They exuded every ounce of royalty that they were as they headed to the center of the market place. You hadn’t really gotten more of a crash-course in the ceremony since before you had rescued Grillby, but you figured that it was starting.

The villagers stood in a circle about the couple, and a very ancient-looking bird monster stepped up to the two of them. Their voice could easily be heard by everyone in the market place as they began to talk about what it meant for the two of them to be bonded. The commitment they made not only to each other but to the future of monsterkind as their monarchs. Grillby’s hand ghosted against your back before curling around your side and resting against your hip. You leaned against his side, focusing on the bird monster’s words.

Toriel spoke first, her voice bright and full of joy,” Asgore, my love, it may have been by chance we met, but I promise you it was not by chance that I fell in love with you. I give you my SOUL until we are but dust. I promise to be there for you during the best of times and worst of days, to help you have hope and compassion through your struggles. We will continue to learn and grow, but we shall do so together, and I cannot wait to grow old with you by my side.”

Asgore’s face was wet with his tears, and he nuzzled his SOULmates face gently. You spotted Gerson across the circle, making a face at the affection, but it was good-humoured distaste. 

“Toriel, the day I met you, it was as if I became complete. I cannot give you my SOUL because you have always had it. You are my strength when I am weak, my hope when I am lost, and my determination when I lack it. From now until we dust, I promise to repay you the kindness you have shown me. To be your support just like you are mine. To walk by your side with pride and honesty. I cannot wait to see where the future takes us, because I know that I will have you there with me.”

You swore that Asgore wasn’t going to make it through his speech, his voice was quivering with emotion as he openly wept in joy. Toriel giggled and nuzzled him, both of them clearly delighted beyond words. The bird monster stepped forwards once more, explaining the seriousness of their commitment and then casually announced that the ceremony was complete.

Monsters cheered, clapping, whistling, wriggling, everything in response to the completion of the ceremony. You grinned as Grillby lifted two fingers and whistled sharply, adding to the cacophonous noise that the monsters were making. Nindree darted past you and grabbed both Toriel and Asgore and hoisted them up as if they weighed nothing, crowing loudly. Laughter sprung up, and more monsters pooled forth to congratulate the couple.

Music started playing, and quickly the center of the market was cleared as Toriel and Asgore began to dance together. Soon enough, others joined them while others conjugated around the edges of the market place to eat, drink, and generally be merry. You and Grillby stuck close together, watching over Fuku as Cendris and her SOULmate moved to dance with the others.

Cherja shifted the pouch on their hip, patting it fondly.

“Have you two decided on a name?” you asked, gesturing towards where their Egg was hidden away. Cherja nodded with a rare smile.

“Undyne.”

“Undying?” you repeated, or at least you thought you did. From the way Cherja’s smile grew, you had a feeling that it wasn’t the case.

“No, no…that’sss what Nindree wanted to call the baby, but we compromised…their name isss Undyne the Undying,” Cherja said, before producing Undyne from the bag and holding the Egg towards you. You quickly accepted it, cuddling the Egg to your chest, and planting a small kiss to the surface. Cherja grinned widely at you, before Nindree slipped to their side, murmured something, and then the two of them moved to the dance floor as well. 

Grillby’s fingers gently squeezed your hip, and you smiled up at him. This was just what everyone needed, you realized. Something to take everyone’s minds off the monsters who should’ve been there but weren’t. To take their minds off of the uncertain future. You allowed yourself to be filled with hope for the future. There hadn’t been a time in many years where you just got to enjoy your time with your friends. To joke, laugh, smile, and just be.

Cendris and her SOULmate returned, and Cendris plucked Fuku’s Egg from Grillby’s grasp and handed it to her mate. Then she grabbed Grillby’s hands and dragged him towards the others dancing, the whole while he complained about how he didn’t wish to dance.

That was the pattern for the next hour or so. Your friends switched out to dance with each other, the Eggs being traded hands, and snippets of conversations being dropped and picked up as they left and came back from dancing. You didn’t dance, lying to the others saying that you had gotten back from dancing and they must’ve missed you.

You weren’t about to admit that you had no idea how to dance.

Eventually, a new face approached you as you were left to look after both Fuku’s and Undyne’s Eggs. Cherja at least had given you her pouch so that you could tuck Undyne inside, and you cradled Fuku in the crook of one arm as you sipped at the spiced monster wine. 

Gaster smiled, fondly at you as he folded his hands behind his back. “Forgive me, I do not think I have thanked you for your rescue yet.”

“Ah, no thanks are needed, Lord Gaster.”

He held up a hand, “Gaster is fine. You have done plenty for my family, I couldn’t fathom the thought of you being so formal around me.”

Your eyebrow quirked up, “Says the most formal monster I know.”

Gaster made an undignified noise, “I am simply respectable!”

“That you are,” you replied, tipping your mug slightly towards him. The two of you fell into somewhat uncomfortable silence. You hadn’t been alone around Gaster before, and he still sort of intimidated you. As you took another sip, you peered over at him. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Ah! Yes, very much so. Vivaldi and I just finished dancing. She is teaching Sans right now,” he gestured towards the other side of the impromptu dance floor. Vivaldi was holding the hands of a slightly larger than you remembered Sans, and smiling fondly down at him. “Have you been dancing?”

“Yes,” you lied easily, ignoring the look on Gaster’s face. He opened his mouth as if to call you on that but you quickly changed the subject.” I know that this is supposed to be about enjoying the moment…but you asked me once if you could study my SOUL…are you still interested in that?”

A look of delight lit up his face, “Oh! Yes! I am quite intrigued by humans SOULs and their magical potential. I have also heard the rumor that you are a Halfling, is that true? I haven’t had many opportunities lately to study human SOULs, but I have never been able to study a Halfling’s. The complications in monster-human breeding make your kind nigh impossible to occur, though the rumored strength of a Halfling is surmountable. Were you born from an egg or somehow physically like a human? I suppose you wouldn’t know, would you? Humans don’t remember much of their childhood, much the same as monsters. Well, monsters that live as long as myself. I wonder if…”

You had expected a polite ‘yes, I am’ or something of the sort, not for him to go off like that. He continued to babble about the difference between human and monster SOULs, and while you were intrigued by the conversation you were also overwhelmed by just the amount of information he was throwing at you. Even before he had gotten the chance to look at your SOUL. You couldn’t imagine how he would act once you did let him study it.

Thankfully, Vivaldi descended upon the two of you like an angel. “There you are!” she chirped, giving her husband a look before patting Sans towards you, “Mind if you watch Sans as well?”

You shook your head, and Vivaldi leaned down, whispering that Sans likes stars, before she turned scooped Gaster into her arms and effortlessly twirled him away. You saw him talking animatedly to her, his hands appearing around him and her smiling fondly. Her eye light briefly flicked towards you, before she winked and then they were engulfed by the other swirling bodies.

Sans tugged at his blue striped tunic, peering shyly at you. “hello,” he said quietly. A gasp left your mouth. The last time you had seen him, he hadn’t been able to speak yet.

“Hello,” you replied, bending down, so you were closer to his height, and so you could balance Fuku’s Egg in your lap. He hesitantly stepped closer to you, before placing his tiny hands on the Egg in your lap.

“this isn’t undyne,” he muttered, “who?”

“Fuku! Grillby’s sister’s baby,” you said happily, before nodding towards the pouch on your hip, “Undyne’s in the bag.”

“oh.”

He was silent for a while longer, tiny skeletal hands patting the Egg.

“Your mom tells me you like stars?” you said, and that was all the prompt that was needed. Sans started babbling easily about the stars and what he theorized they were. It was like talking to a little Gaster, and it was adorable. You were actually enraptured as he spoke about his theories, and eventually you were juggling him and Fuku in your arms as he pointed out all the stars he knew the names of. Which surprised you, because you didn’t realize a lot of the stars _had_ names. You knew there was a subset of magic that focused on stars, moons, and the sun, but it wasn’t anything you ever bothered with.

Eventually, his responses came quieter and then all at once, he was snoring against your shoulder.

It prompted you to track down Vivaldi, who giggled softly and readily accepted her son. Gaster told you quietly to let him know when you were free before he followed after his wife and son. You then went to find the other parents who had left you with their children. Nindree and Cherja were the first you found, and Cherja easily accepted the pouch while apologizing for leaving you to handle their kid. You waved it off and went to find Cendris or her SOULmate to return their Egg too.

Grillby was chatting rather animatedly with Gerson, Cendris, Asgore, and Toriel off to the side, and he beamed when he saw you. “ _There you are,”_ he called happily, bending down and kissing your forehead.

“Eugh,” Gerson said, pulling a face at the affection, “Gross kids these days.”

You passed Fuku over to Cendris with a smile, “Says the gross old man.”

“I represent that remark,” he shot back, winking at you. “Say! Have ya danced tonight? I haven’t seen ya out there yet.”

“You told us you had danced!” Cendris accused, pointing a finger at you. You went to lie again, but Gerson laughed.

“You haven’t, have ya? What? Ya got two left feet or somethin’? Wahaha, or has Grillby been too busy drinking and getting roped into dancing with Nindree or Cendris that he forgot ta ask ya?” Gerson asked, winking at you. Or blinking. You couldn’t tell.

“…I asked her,” Grillby said, his voice sounding more smoky than usual when he spoke common.

“I was also roped into babysitting three kids,” you said casually, “Sans told me a lot about stars.”

“You haven’t danced together yet?” Toriel asked, putting her hands on her hips before she made a shooing motion, “Well! Go! Its good luck for couples to dance at other’s bonding ceremonies! I won’t stand for you two to not dance together!”

You wanted to protest, but Grillby extended his hand towards you with a little flourish. A blush decorated your cheeks, and you hesitantly accepted the invitation.

Without hesitation on his part, he swept you out into the throngs of people, and you tensed up immediately.

“What’s _wrong?”_ he asked, picking up on your discomfort once again. 

“Uh…I…have…never danced before?” you said quietly, “I don’t...know... how?”

His head tilted slightly, before he placed one of your hands on his shoulder, and delicately held your other hand. As the two of you started to move, you were freaking out, and a couple of times you stepped on his feet. He quietly instructed you on the moves and included, “ _If you step on my feet, I’ll be fine_.”

Eventually, you felt the tension slid off your shoulders, and you felt enjoyment take its place. You forgot everyone else around you as you spun and twirled and got to hear Grillby’s joyful laughs whenever you did stumble, only to be caught and righted by him. Not to mention, your SOUL was to the moon with delight at being so close to Grillby’s and in such a peaceful state of mind.

You forgot about everything else besides just being in Grillby’s arms.

The rest of the night was just a blur, and you found yourself dancing the night away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have longed for this chapter to be published for so long because it's probably one of the few chapters in this story that's like pure fluff.
> 
> Plus Reader and Grillby dressing up like the beautiful people they are.
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	26. Calm Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head's up there's a panic attack in this chapter at the end!

More and more monsters arrived in the city as news about the war spread far and wide. The hope that you had felt during the bonding ceremony was quickly starting to dwindle away into nothingness as you heard more and more reports from the border about the human's cruelty increasing and the army that was being built.

Instead of focusing on what you couldn’t change or help, you put your focus entirely on what you _could_ do. You read and read the Grandmasters Grimoire, along with the other grimoires you had stolen. Piecing together your own grimoire of spells that you could use on the fly in battle or in defence of the monsters around you. You burned the spells you came across that you didn’t want to fall into the wrong hands in case anything happened to you.

Soon enough, you had your first official grimoire. That was something you had always looked forward to getting when you turned 18 at the Citadel, but you never got to that point, leaving two years beforehand. So, while the memories of the Citadel still burned in the back of your mind and forever tainted black, you felt that burst of pride at finally having your own spellbook.

Druhim said that it was unneeded, your Da never had one, after all. You knew that, but like your staff, they were something that was so ingrained into your mind of _needing_ that you felt like if they were taken, you’d be weakened to the point you couldn’t do anything.

Maybe they were magical crutches...but you didn’t really care.

The one thing that Druhim did approve of, out of everything you learned at the Citadel, was your barrier spell. Especially when you showed him the versatility of the spell as you could create a bubble shield, a flat surface shield, and you could even split it up into multiple shields around different people. That last one was hard to do, and you needed to focus a lot more than the other types, and you needed to be able to see each person you were shielding, or it wouldn’t work.

Along with creating a grimoire, you threw yourself into training. All the spells you knew were long-distance, and while that would help you…you also understood in a war you might be face-to-face with the enemy, knowing long-distance spells wouldn’t help you. Druhim taught you how to shift seamlessly between your forms, as you couldn’t access your mage magic while you were in your ‘monster’ form. You could, however, access your monster magic while you were in your ‘human’ form. It was weakened, so if you really wanted maximum control over your earth powers. You needed to be in that monster form.

You listened attentively as Druhim gave you some tips on how to take Grillby down affectively, considering he was enormous and a powerful monster. Grillby said nothing but slowly spun a wooden training sword in his hand, nodding softly in agreement.

“ _Remember, my little moon, during training, never wish to see harm to your opponent, but in war? Abandon that thought, as it might be the difference between surviving and perishing,”_ Druhim reminded you, giving you a stern look. You nodded solemnly, adjusting your grip on your staff.

“KICK HIS ASS,” Nindree shouted from the side of the clearing.

You snorted, “I’ve been training to fight for like…two weeks,” you replied, allowing your voice to be a bit louder, “I don’t think I _can_ kick the ass of a monster who’s been training for longer than I’ve been alive.”

“ _Just means you’ll have to work harder if you do want to ‘kick my ass,’”_ Grillby said, shifting his grip on his wooden sword to let you know that he was ready to start whenever you were. Druhim nodded, and you rolled your shoulders and exhaled. You could totally do this. You could kick Grillby’s ass. Maybe not…actually, but you could totally get a hit on him…right?

Grillby charged across the clearing towards you, and a bolt of adrenaline shot through your body. Though, unlike two weeks ago, when you had let out a pathetic meep and thrown up a barrier, you stood your ground.

This was training you in case you couldn’t get a barrier up in time due to depleted magic…in otherwise, you weren’t allowed to use magic to defend yourself.

He swung his sword at your side, the movement so fast you barely had time to move your staff to block it. In a second, he shifted his position and brought the sword back towards you. You threw yourself away from the swing, and you felt the sword barely swipe against your side.

You barely had time to look for an opening to strike back with how fast he was swinging at you. So, you took to just dodging out of the way or blocking. Until one time when he rose to take a swing at you, and you noticed that his stance was a bit wider from the ground behind him. A thought darted through your mind and before you had time to question it, you dove between his legs and then swung your staff into the back of his knees, and he crumpled to the ground.

You sprung up, cheering that you knocked Grillby down, but the moment you had dropped your guard, Grillby taped your chin with his sword. He had used the momentum of falling to twist himself around and get the sword up to your neck. In a real battle, you would’ve been dead.

“ROOKIE MISTAKE,” Nindree called from the sidelines, “GOTTA MAKE SURE HE ISN’T GOING TO GET BACK UP.”

“I still knocked him down,” you shot back, giddy, then looked down at Grillby, who was still kneeling with his wooden training sword against your neck. You grinned at him, “I knocked you down!”

“ _You did,”_ he agreed, a bit of pride in his voice, “ _But you’re dead now.”_

You laughed, “At least I died happy.”

You were pretty sure he rolled his eyes, even if there was no way you could tell, but it just made you grin more. “Dru- uh, Papa!” you whirled around towards your father’s ghostly appearance. “I knocked him down!”

Druhim grinned at you, “ _But you’re dead.”_

You sighed, eyes narrowing slightly, “Fine, fine. I lost. Still proud of myself.”

“ _I’m proud of you as well, my moon,”_ Druhim chuckled, “ _Each day you improve in little ways, and I cannot wait to see the warrior you will become. Your Da would be so proud of you._ ”

Your smile softened slightly as a bittersweet feeling washed over you. There was a small voice at the back of your mind saying that if your Da was alive that none of this would be happening. All the monsters who knew of him described him as being an air-head, but…Druhim described him as a lot more cunning than people realized. The letter that you had found in the Grandmasters grimoire hinted at him knowing a lot more about the future than he should’ve known.

You had spoken to Druhim about that later, and he said that if Chief did know anything about the future, he never shared it with him.

Grillby got to his feet, tearing you from your thoughts. He gently brushed his knuckles against your cheek, and you felt the hollowness in your chest fade. Without saying anything, you gave him a thankful look, and he nodded almost imperceivable. A finger tapped the hilt of his blade, and you felt a questioning pulse flow from him. You nodded. You didn’t want to stop training.

So train you did, until Grillby and Nindree had to head off to do their actual jobs, and you had to unsummon your father due to the magic drain. Your body ached as it always did when you finished a training session, and you headed into the city with Grillby and Nindree, kissing the former goodbye before parting to head home.

A quick bath later, and you headed out to find something to occupy your mind. If you sat alone for too long, you’d start to think of the war, about Chief, about anything and everything you didn’t want to think about. It didn’t take you long before you were helping some monsters with building mazes, traps, and puzzles outside the city wall to confuse and prolong the time it would take the human army from reaching the city if they arrived before the city had a chance to leave.

The other monster cities and villages had priority, and you knew that Asgore and Toriel were purposefully drawing the human's attention to the main city in order to give the other civilians a better chance of escape.

You just really hoped that the evacuation would happen before the human army decided to attack the city.

As you were taking a break from assisting the other monsters, you spotted a small band of monsters arriving as you briefly chatted with Vivaldi by the Southern gate. One of them, a giant gorilla looking monster, peeled away from the group and hurried over, a massive grin on his face. “Viv!” he crooned, scooping her up with one massive arm. “It is good to see you again!”

She laughed, hugging him back, “Wei! It’s been too long!”

They seemed familiar to you, but you couldn’t quite place _why_. So, you smiled softly at the interaction.

Wei plopped Viv back onto her feet and then spotted you. There was a look of almost distrust that you hadn’t seen in monsters for the longest time. Then, all at once, it shifted in a look of utter surprise. He pointed at you, “You’re that human who rescued us all those years ago!”

A moment passed. Us? Your gaze flickered over to Vivaldi, and when you looked back at him, it hit you. He was one of the monsters that had been captured with Viv and Sans. “It’s good to see you again,” you said warmly, “How’ve you been?”

He chuckled, “As well as any monster, I suppose.”

You barely remembered him if you were honest. The time from rescuing them to when you had returned home was blurry in your memory from the anxiety. Though, he did stand out more than the other monsters from that time did. You couldn’t even remember any of the other monsters anymore. Just Viv and Sans. The only other monster that stood out in your mind had been the wolf monster that had been killed by the Mage.

After a few moments of chatting with them, you gestured towards the wall once more. “I should get back to working with the others.”

Wei dipped his head, “It is great to see that you are still helping us monsters out.”

Vivaldi clapped a hand, “Oh, my dear friend, you don’t know the half of it. She’s the Lionheart.”

His face shifted to utter surprise, then he barked out a laugh, “Of course she is! I should have known!”

“Come, I’m sure Gaster will be delighted to see you as well. We can fill you in on all the happenings since I last saw you,” Vivaldi laughed, then waved at you, “I will see you later.”

You waved, smiling after the two of them before turning and heading back over to the other monsters who were finishing up their breaks.

Toriel found you nearly five hours later, exhausted and sipping some tea with Gerson and the other monsters who were taking another break. She called your name, scoldingly as she strode over, “What have I said about over-reaching your magic?” she asked, crossing her arms and giving you such a motherly look that you ducked your head.

“That’s why I’m having Sea Tea with Ger!” you quickly said, lifting up your teacup, “Want some?”

“No, thank you,” she replied but sat down on a snow cleared rock beside another monster. They had a fire going to fight back the chill of the mountain air at this time of year. The group chatted easily, telling jokes and sharing stories about their lives. You found yourself chatting along with the monsters as easily as if you had been friends with them for years.

When pure magic-depletion exhaustion started to hit you, you apologized to the monsters you were helping. A few pulled out monster candy from various satchels or pockets to offer you, but you declined, saying that you had some at home. They smiled and waved you off as you headed back into the city. Toriel admonished you once more, but simply escorted you back into the city and told you that she’d give Grillby some extra monster candy to bring back home with him when he was finished plotting with Asgore and Gaster.

Though, you did wonder why Toriel wasn’t with them? You didn’t want to insult Asgore…but while he was very authoritative and everyone respected him, Toriel was much more of a tactician and the better planner out of the two.

Snow crunched beneath your feet as you headed up the road, and you wanted to get home to warm up and perhaps surprise Grillby by making dinner tonight. Though, you did pause as snow started to drift down just as the sun started to set. There was a peaceful quality to the air that you just…basked in. Monsters smiled and greeted you as they passed you on their way to their homes.

You felt the gentle brush of your fur-lined hood being tugged over your head, and you turned to see Cherja looking unhappy. Their own body was covered entirely in fur-lined fabric to try to retain as much heat as they could. The sight of them looking so chilled made the cold you felt all the more chilly.

“Hey, Cherja,” you greeted, pulling your cloak a bit tighter around yourself. “What’s wrong?”

“It…isss freezing,” they hissed, glaring at the snow, “When thisss isss all done, I am taking Nindree to a warmer climate.”

You gave them a sympathetic look, “You could go stand near Grillby in the meantime?”

Cherja gave you a dry look, “Unlesss I am in hisss armsss it will be too cold. I am a sssnake. I ssshould be hibernating…”

“You could ask him to pick you up,” you joked, and they actually chuckled at that.

“Tempting but no. I am on ssshift sssoon, ah…by the way,” Cherja shifted the satchel on their hip, “Can you watch Undyne?”

You agreed easily, taking the satchel from them. They quickly departed, saying they were actually going to go find Grillby to try to stave off the chill.

Not two seconds later, Cendris came into view and headed directly at you. She beamed brightly at you, “On your way home?”

You nodded, giving her a smile in return.

“Can I come? Grillby walked away on me earlier when I was trying to discuss something with him, and he is way less likely to walk away in his own house,” Cendris said, her flames snapping in irritation. You laughed lightly.

“Of course,” you agreed, gesturing for her to follow you. “Oh! I knocked Grillby down in training today!”

The instant excitement was palpable as she begged you to tell her every detail, and she strode close to your side as you hurried towards your home to get out of the chill. Apparently the monster Eggs didn’t feel temperature changes at all, unlike real eggs that needed to be kept warm all the time. The shell protected the SOUL inside well enough. Still, after so many years of raising ducks, you felt that worry kick in, and you hurried back to your house. The sun was completely set by the time you finally closed the door on the cold and removed your cloak.

“What were you discussing with Grillby?” you asked, leading Cendris into the kitchen.

She let out a sigh as she easily started the fire for you before plopping into one of the chairs, her gentle hand smoothing over where Fuku’s Egg was tied against her form. “He wants us to leave for the nearest port city.”

Her voice was full of venom, and you gave her a small confused frown as you removed Undyne from the satchel and adjusted it so the Egg could rest on the counter without falling off. “I’m guessing you don’t want to go?”

“No!” she sputtered, flames crackling angrily, “I’m not leaving my brother behind to die by human hands just like our parents! If he wants me to go, he’s coming with me!”

You nodded gently, giving her a look you hoped was sympathetic. “We’ll be evacuating the city once everyone else is gone, it’s just to try to distract the human army. If everything goes to plan, there shouldn’t be any fighting.”

Cendris sighed, relaxing in her seat some more, “Hopefully.”

You could see darker thoughts swirling through her mind, so you quickly asked her if she’d like to help you prepare dinner. She jumped to her feet, flames snapping excitedly as she placed Fuku beside Undyne and got to work. It wasn’t often you cooked with someone else helping, normally Grillby took over since he discovered he really enjoyed it, but you found yourself not getting irritated by her presence surprisingly.

You didn’t even notice Grillby enter the house, only that the air got a touch warmer. Cendris, on the other hand, immediately noticed and abandoned your side to storm out into the living room. You…ignored the argument, honestly. Both sides had merit to it. If she were your sister, you’d probably encourage her to leave as well…but you wouldn’t want to leave your last family member behind either. So…you finished cooking and spoke instead to the Eggs to drown out the sound of the muffled argument.

Cendris entered the kitchen first, looking a touch more irritated than she had been when she first told you that Grillby wanted her to leave. She walked over and picked Fuku’s Egg up before turning to you, “Thanks for allowing me to come over.”

“Are you not staying for dinner?” you asked, turning slightly to watch her tuck Fuku safely against her side.

“No, I need to get back. Besides, I don’t think you want me and Grillby fighting over a meal…because we will,” she said, a light joking tone to her words, but you could tell it was more forced. You nodded and glanced over at Grillby. He looked more put out than angry, and as Cendris passed, he stopped her. They traded quiet words before Cendris seemed to deflate slightly. Grillby grinned at her and bumped his forehead against hers. “ _I’m still mad with you_ ,” she snapped back but pulled him into a quick hug.

You called out a goodbye as Grillby saw her to the door, and turned back to cooking.

\---

Grillby closed the door and exhaled some sparks. He loved his sister; he truly did…but she loved to get under his metaphorical skin. While he was fully aware that she wasn’t being difficult because she _wanted_ to be, it still felt like that. Too many years of trying to take care of her while she was in her stripes sometimes made him feel more like her father than a brother. He knew he was treating her like a small monster, and she wasn’t anymore. She had her own SOULmate and a baby.

Speaking of baby, he remembered seeing Undyne’s Egg in the kitchen with you, and so he headed back into the kitchen. You were babbling about how you were so excited to meet Undyne and that you swore that they were going to be as bad-ass as both of their parents were. Grillby smiled fondly, walking up behind you and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You glanced over your shoulder and _beamed_ at him.

The happiness that radiated off of you was infectious, and he found himself smiling back easily.

What a change from four years ago when he first met you.

Actually, if he thought about it, you were a much different person than the woman he met at the feast four years ago. That person had been standoffish and closed off, shy in an almost aggressive manner. You had wanted nothing to do with anyone, thinking that being alone meant you’d be safer. Which was probably true. If no one knew where you were, how would you get hurt?

Yet, here you were, living with him in the middle of a city. With more friends than you could count on one hand. Which reminded him that Toriel had given him some extra monster candies, which he quickly added to the jar near the rest of the medicines that you had cultivated since building the house.

His eyes drifted over your body briefly, lingering on any exposed scars that you had gotten since he met you.

Would…would you have been happier in the long run if they hadn’t forced their way into your heart? If Nindree hadn’t insisted on becoming your friend? Would you have preferred to stay on your farm? Maybe it wouldn’t have been burned down if you had never befriended the monsters? Those bandits would’ve never bothered with you if you hadn’t defended the monsters in the first place.

All you had left was a cookbook and your cow.

You glanced over at him, eyebrows furrowing, so he kissed your forehead to try to smooth it back.

“Are you okay?” you asked, peering up at him with worry. He nodded.

“ _Just thinking,”_ he said honestly, nuzzling your forehead with his.

“Feels like heavy thoughts,” you replied, leaning into his affection, “Don’t let them overwhelm you…we can do something?”

“ _You need to eat if Toriel was correct that you almost depleted your magic today,”_ he scolded lightly, straightening up and moving to assist you. The two of you quietly finished preparing dinner and then moved to the table to eat while telling each other of your day.

Grillby listened as you chattered away about other monsters’ stories and jokes. How you were able to seem so carefree was a mystery to him, though he was glad that you were able to be. Though, he wasn’t so stupid to think that you didn’t have your own worries. You just…shoved them down and pretended they weren’t there until you couldn’t ignore them anymore.

That wasn’t good for you, and he knew he should probably bring it up with you sooner rather than later, especially with the potential for the war to actually reach the city.

He should also tell you that the human kingdom’s army was amassing…and that they were preparing their navy as well.

Later…for now, he just wanted to savour your smiled, laughter, and light. For…he really didn’t know if this would be the last he would see of it.

With a sigh, he ran a hand down his face. It…felt like everything was resting on his shoulders. The weight of the safety of those he cared about settled on him. His sister was not a fighter. She was a scholar. He had always been the one to defend them when they needed it as they grew up. Nindree could take care of herself, yet he found himself worrying for her more and more now that she had Undyne.

You…weren’t a fighter.

Grillby knew that.

No matter what you thought of yourself, no matter how much you believed you could be one. You weren’t.

He worried the most about you, how you would be in battle. Sure, he knew that you could handle yourself in a fight, especially when you were on the winning side. Yet…what would happen if you were losing? If you saw those, you were fighting with die beside you? Saw their dust in the wind? That Bran died in front of you, and you hadn’t wanted to leave him. What if you were on the battlefield and someone you knew died? Would you freeze? Would you be just another casualty?

Would he have to see you die?

He remembered the pain when you got hit by an arrow.

The fury and despair at seeing you weakened — streaks of ichor beneath your paled skin.

Would he notice in the midst of battle? Or would he stumble over your corpse?

Could he handle you dying in battle?

Would he freeze up?

If you died-

“Grillby?” your voice broke through his quickly worsening thoughts, “Are you listening?”

He paused, trying to remember the last thing you had said to him, and when he did, he replied to that. Your brow furrowed again, and you reached over, caressing his cheek, “What’s wrong? You haven’t heard anything I’ve said in about a minute now…”

_“I’m…worried,”_ he whispered, averting his eyes from your face. Though he reached up and curled his hand around yours, keeping it against his face.

“We’ll be okay,” you said, voice firm. “We just need to wait a bit longer and then we’ll be away from the Grandmaster’s reach. Besides, as long as we’re together, we can do anything. You saved my life, and I’ve saved yours. We keep this up, and we’ll be immortal.”

Your tone was light, attempting to bring his mood up…but he found it plummeting instead.

You weren’t immortal.

He wasn’t immortal either.

His hand tightened around yours, and he felt a flash of surprise through your connection.

“Hey, hey, hey, Grillby,” you said, “We’re okay. You’re okay. I’m okay.”

What if he died?

What if the Grandmaster got what he wanted? Eradicated all the monsters from existence? You’d be alone. What if you were alone again?

You pulled your hand away, and his panic suddenly shot up through the roof.

“ _Please,”_ he choked out, but you were only away from him for a few seconds to pick up Undyne’s Egg from the counter. Then you were leading him towards his bedroom. He barely noticed, focusing hard on your hand in his, and barely felt it as you directed him to sit on the bed. Then you were peppering his face with tiny kisses, whispering gentle, soothing words to him.

There was a knock on the door, and you reluctantly left him alone in his bedroom, and he felt _cold_ without you there.

That wasn’t a feeling he often had.

Your voice murmured gently to someone before you returned back without Undyne’s Egg, and you pulled him into your arms once again.

It took a while before the panic in his chest died down, a combination of his normal tactics of focusing on what he could feel, see, taste, hear, and smell in the present, and with your gentle pulses of comforting constantly soothing his SOUL.

When the panic full dissipated, he immediately apologized to you.

“Why?” you asked, hands gently stroking at his face, “You don’t need to apologize for that. Ever.”

He pulled you closer, resting his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. “ _…lay with me?”_ he asked quietly, and you nodded immediately.

“Let me just go change first,” you said, and he felt a spike of panic at the thought of you leaving. You hesitated, even though he let you go. Then you straightened and marched over to his wardrobe and pulled out one of his tunics. He was about to ask you what you were doing when you started stripping. His flames brightened, snapping wildly before he turned away to give you some privacy.

“ _I didn’t mean for you to-“_ he started sputtering out, but then you were in front of him again, wearing one of his tunics, and his face flushed bright blue. It was huge on you.

“Hey, when I was panicking in my bathtub, however long ago, you sat down and read to me even if I was butt-naked a couple of feet away,” you pointed out, “I stripped in front of you before, as embarrassingly accidental as that was. I don’t care if I’m naked around you.”

He hummed lightly, and you kissed his forehead.

Grillby slid his arms around you and easily pulled you down with him as he laid down. You laughed softly, arms wrapping around him and nuzzling against his jaw.

He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring…but he knew he wasn’t going to be facing it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Hanukkah started yesterday, so Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate it <3
> 
> Also Yuletide/Winter Solistice was yesterday, so to those who celebrate it, Joyous Yule!!
> 
> Also, also, I won't see you guys until after, so Merry Early Christmas!
> 
> Also, also, also I'm not sure about the proper greeting but Happy Kwanzaa as well!
> 
> If I missed any holidays for this month, I hope you had/have a happy holidays! 
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	27. Morals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a touch of more...sexual content...nothing explicit though. It's at the end of the chapter after 'Is it working?'

“Almost all civilians have made it away,” Nindree informed the Council. She plucked quite a few monster markers from the map, shifting them to either ports or taking them off the map completely. Her gaze swept the room, “There is just one more monster village that needs to be escorted, then we can focus on Home.”

Grillby leaned forward once Nindree finished her report and shifted a few markers representing the human army closer towards Home. “ _My scouts indicate that the human army is on the move again. They have realized that our distraction worked and are amassing towards Home.”_

All eyes rested on the wooden marker for the monster village. All the other villages had been able to escape without much issue…but the fact of the matter was that this last village was between the human army and Home. If they got caught, they’d be slaughtered or captured…and you didn’t know which one was worse.

Asgore nodded grimly, resting his hands on the table. His eyes slowly trailed over the map, “Grillby, Nindree, and Lionheart will head out to escort the last village to the port. Lionheart, are you able to use your magic to make it seem as if the monsters went towards Home instead of the sea?”

You nodded your head simply, and he sighed, pushing away from the table.

“ _After getting them safely to the Sea Monsters, we’ll head back the way we came to see if we can get more intel on the human army. See how fast they are moving, and then head Home,”_ Grillby said, dragging a finger along the path that the three of you would be taking on your way back.

That had been two weeks ago now, and now you were standing back beside Grillby. Nindree was talking stiffly to one of the Sea Monsters, which wasn’t like her at all. Her fists were clenched together as well as she stared at the ship full of monsters waiting to escape certain death if they stayed. There was a moment where you thought that Nindree was going to punch the monster she was talking to but she merely grinned the fakest smile you ever saw, before turning on her heel and stalking back up the pier.

“Let’s get out of here,” Nindree sighed, rubbing her neck and glancing over her shoulder at the sea. “I want to see Cherja.”

Grillby placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. Neither said anything but you saw a flash of thanks on her face before she clapped him on the shoulder as well. You wanted to ask what that was about, but if Nindree wanted you to know, she would’ve said something.

You didn’t like this ocean anyways. It reminded you too much of the Citadel.

Bran’s face flashed behind your eyelids and you turned and followed Grillby and Nindree towards the horses.

Nindree easily swung up onto her horse, and promptly stared at the ocean. Silent.

You opened your mouth to ask if she was okay, but Grillby’s hand moved into your view, and your gaze followed up his arm to see him already sitting on his horse. With a slight shake of his head, you closed your mouth and took his hand. You wouldn’t ask. Whatever it was...it was an old scar that you wouldn’t reopen.

You knew thinking about your pain and talking about it were too different demons.

Grillby hoisted you up onto his horse, and you clung to his waist. You still weren’t okay with horses, but after riding on the back of one for a majority of the past two weeks, you appreciated them. Still, you would’ve preferred your cart and cattle. Though you trusted both Grillby and Nindree, and they had complete control over the horses as far as you were aware.

The journey heading back was boring and exhausting. Nindree’s mood improved a day out from the port village, and she easily started bantering once again with Grillby and you without hesitation or falling into silence as she had. Whatever dark place, her thoughts had taken her to was still there, but she wasn’t focusing on it anymore.

You were walking beside the horses in favour of riding, when you felt a strange vibration beneath your feet. You froze, before you quietly summoned Druhim. His gem-like eyes scanned over the horizon.

“There is a cart coming, three horses, at least…three humanoid figures,” Druhim said, distinguishing the vibrations you felt without you being able to. Grillby and Nindree stopped their horses, eyes zeroing in on the direction Druhim was looking in.

“How can you tell?” you asked, ignoring Grillby and Nindree as they guided their horses into the forest to hide them in case the approaching party wasn’t monsters. While you were fairly deep in monster territory…you also couldn’t ignore the fact that the human army was fairly close. A couple of days ride south-west, if you were correct in remembering the path that the human army had been heading according to Grillby’s scouts.

“The patterns of the vibrations. The constant grinding is the cart, the four rhythmic beats is the horse hooves, and the more inconsistent and varying vibrations is a being with two feet walking,” he explained and then gestured towards Grillby and Nindree as they exited the forest on foot. You felt the vibrations from them as well beneath your feet and you nodded.

“Hopefully, s’just some lost monsters,” Nindree said, rolling her shoulder and glaring down the road. “I don’t wanna fight today. I want to see my Cherja and my kid!”

You nodded in agreement.

Unfortunately, the world didn’t care that you wanted to be home.

When the caravan finally rolled around a bend in the road, you spotted at least ten humans travelling. If they had been dressed raggedly, you might’ve quickly encouraged Nindree and Grillby back into the forest. Instead, you saw armour, and the human kingdom’s banner as it fluttered in the wind.

You frowned slightly in disappointment. Fight it was then.

With one hand, you unclipped your mask from your waist, and with your other hand, you summoned your staff. Nindree grinned as you pulled your mask over your face.

In the second, your vision was darkened by the mask. Both her and Grillby had brandished their weapons. Grillby’s sword and Nindree’s bow. The first time you saw Nindree’s weapon, you’d be surprised. She seemed like the type of person to want to be up close and personal when fighting, and you wouldn’t have thought she’d be good at archery at all. From the few times you had tried your hand at it while hunting, you knew it took a lot of concentration and focus.

In one hand, she held the bow, and in the other, she summoned an arrow that she was twirling.

One of the soldiers noticed the group of three blocking the path and pointed it out to the others. Slowly, the caravan came to a stop. There was still a good hundred feet or so between the closest human and you. You could tell they were sizing the three of you up. Even if they turned around and started heading back the way they came, you were sure Nindree would attack. These humans were way too close to the city for any of you to be comfortable with them getting away with getting that close.

Another soldier stepped forth, standing tall and proud. “By order of King Fredrick the Third and Grandmaster Sage Marquis, you will surrender.”

Nindree stepped forward, “You are standing on Monster Kingdom soil, idiot! By order of King Asgore Dreemurr, _you_ will surrender.”

The solider seemed to be taken back at being called an idiot, and glanced back at the others.

Grillby muttered something along the lines of, “ _we talked about this…_ ”

A moment passed and the soldier turned around, clearing his throat, “If you do not surrender, we will be forced to attack.”

“Likewise!” Nindree retorted, spinning her arrow, “Well, we’ll be forced to protect ourselves considering that if you don’t surrender, you’ll just attack us.”

You sighed softly, watching as the confusion notched up on the human's faces. Some murmuring and then the soldier loudly declared, “You refuse to submit, so we are forced to attack!”

“Why do you keep announcing what you’re going to do?” Nindree retorted, nocking her arrow and taking aim. “You could just do it.”

The soldier raised his shield protectively in front of him, as did the others. However, Nindree didn’t release. Not yet. She wouldn’t make the first move. Ever.

When she didn’t release, the soldier grew bold and took a step forward.

Which is when all hell broke loose.

Nindree released the magic arrow, and it soared and struck the man between the plates in his armour almost perfectly. A scream of pain. Then the others rushed forward.

Rush the archer, and you’d potentially be able to take them out. If there wasn’t a swordsman and a mage waiting to assist the archer, that was.

Grillby stepped forward, readying his sword for the rush of soldiers.

You darted forward, a step in front of him and slammed your staff into the ground. Your magic erupted forth, splintering the ground and knocking the soldiers off balance and off guard. The small space of surprise gave both Grillby and Nindree ample opportunities.

Nindree was fast with her bow, taking down three soldiers before Grillby’s blade met his first.

You danced back as a soldier took advantage of Grillby and Nindree focuses being on others to try to swing at you. It was wide and panicked, and you had gotten good at dodging anything that Grillby could swing at you. That was easy to dodge.

However, you were so focused on that one, you didn’t notice another dodge Grillby’s attack and rush you until last second. You threw yourself sideways and felt the slice of a blade cut along your side. It burned.

The blade caught on your cloak, choking you for a second.

You swung your staff one-handed at the man’s head as your other blindly grappled for the pin keeping your cloak about your neck. The staff cracked into the man’s helmet hard enough he released the sword. It clanged to the ground along with your cloak. An arrow pierced his neck the next second.

You didn’t even wait, returning your focus on your original attacker. He was swinging his sword down, _hard._ You shifted to the side, feeling the rush of air as it cut where you were moments before. There wasn’t enough room to whack him with your staff effectively. Instead, you yanked out the dagger from your hip and slammed it up.

Unfortunately, the man saw it coming and jerked back.

As he stumbled back, it provided you with enough time to conjure a spell. It blasted into him dead center and sent him flying back a couple of feet. The moment his back hit the ground, you cracked the ground open and swallowed him up.

The entire fight lasted less than five minutes.

Your chest was heaving as you looked around at what remained of the caravan. Dead bodies were littering the ground. Were they conscripted into the war, or did they volunteer? There was no way you would be able to tell, honestly. Well, there would’ve been a way if one of them survived. Nindree and Grillby were talking quietly to each other when you felt a weak attack knock you off balance.

It was a magic-based attack.

You hadn’t realized there had been a mage? Unless it was a monster attacking you?

You turned around and saw a robed and hooded Mage cower back behind the cart at the same time Nindree spotted them. She let out a war cry but you threw out your hands towards her. “Wait!” you cried, making her freeze, her bow half-drawn.

There was something off about the Mage.

Why would they cower?

Why had they attacked you, the clearly human one, over the two monsters? A well-placed attack from a human Mage could kill a monster, especially one who had their guard down.

They poked their head out again, let out a yelp and threw a blind attack at you.

Which…you were able to all too easily absorb the magic and send it careening harmlessly into the ground.

“What are you doing?” Nindree hissed, “It’s attacking you!”

You held out a hand again, sending her a begging look, before you carefully started moving towards the cloaked figure. By the time they poked their head out again, you were less than three feet away from the cart, and they made a choked fearful noise before tripping over their own robes and crashing to the ground. They skittered backward in the dirt until they hit a tree along the edge of the road.

As they began to conjure another spell, you summoned your staff and used the end of it to lift their hood up.

Your heart stopped.

They…were a fucking child.

No older than thirteen years.

Their tear-stained face stared up at you in fear as they yet again threw another spell at you. You were too shocked to counteract it and it was enough to send you stumbling backwards. Nindree and Grillby both made concerned noises, but you ignored them.

This was a _kid_.

Were they sending _children_ against monsters now? To ambush them on the road? Was it to teach the kid the cruelty of monsters or what?

You crouched down, pulling out some gold coins from your pouch and extending your hand out towards the kid, “Go home. To your actual home, not the Citadel. War isn’t kind…it won’t spare you again.”

Their eyes stared at the coins, confusion wiping away the fear before they looked up and glared at you. Their hands curling protectively against their chest. “You’re that traitor!” they barked at you, voice cracking in fear, “I won’t accept anything you’ve touched, murderer! Monsters are a blight on the world, and I won’t be tricked as you’ve been!”

Without hesitation, they burst into the propaganda that the Citadel had been drilling into your head since you were four years old. That humanity was trying to keep back the tide of darkness that was the monster kingdom, and that the Mages were the only ones who could do so effectively. You closed your eyes tightly.

They were a _child._

You remembered one of the spells that had been in the Grandmasters grimoire…one that you had burned because you didn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. Was it even a spell you should use? You didn’t know…but you swiped your thumb through the blood on your arm and then before the kid could react, you smeared it across their forehead. Drawing a rough shape of the rune you remembered.

They lashed out, scratching at you but you ignored the sharp pain and rattled off the words to the spell.

The child’s eyes struggled to stay open, but soon succumbed to the spell. Their body slumped to the side, falling heavily onto the dirt and grass as the blood rune slowly flaked away as the spell took effect. When all the dried blood was gone, you gently scooped the child up off the ground and headed over towards the cart. You ignored the looks of confusion and irritation from Grillby and Nindree as you laid the child in the cart and then steered the horses back around to the direction they had been coming from. With a gentle pat, you encouraged them back from where they came.

“What the fuck?” Nindre blurted out, “Why are you letting them go??”

“They won’t remember the last twenty-four hours,” you mumbled, staring after the cart, “It’ll be fine.”

“Why spare them?” Nindree demanded, fury in her voice. “They were a Mage. They have more power than any of these soldiers to slaughter monsters, and you let them GO! They’ve killed monsters before!! They had LV!”

You winced slightly at that. A kid…and they already had LV? What was the Citadel doing?

Nindree seemed to grow even angrier at your silence, and she summoned her bow once again, moving to aim for the cart. You quickly grabbed her arm, “Stop.”

“Enough! This is war,” she snapped, shoving you lightly away. “They are the enemy, and I won’t let them go and hurt anyone else!”

“They are a CHILD,” you shouted, shoving Nindree hard enough she stumbled, “I don’t care how much blood I have on my hands, Nindree, I **won’t** kill a helpless child. I’m not a murderer. I won’t let you kill one either!”

All anger seemed to snap out of Nindree in that instance; her eyes widened slightly. “A…child? They…they sent a kid? Who…who does that?”

You stilled, staring up at her, the genuine shock in her eyes. She…she didn’t know what a human child looked like? You glanced over at Grillby, who was standing back watching the exchange with an unreadable expression. He lived with humans…he knew what a child looked like. A bit of anger flared up in your stomach, but you squashed it down. You’d ask him later if he knew…and if he would’ve let Nindree kill the child if you hadn’t been there to intervene. Until then…you ran a hand over your face…you just wanted to get home.

You didn’t say anything else to either of them as you headed back over to the horses.

Nindree caught your elbow, “I didn’t know it was a kid.”

“I know…let’s get back,” you murmured, jerking your elbow from her grip.

There was a pulse of almost warning from Grillby, but you ignored it. Just waited. The last stretch of road on the way back was tense, and you could tell Grillby was displeased with the situation. Though, you were too exhausted, irritated, and upset to really do anything to fix it. Not until you’ve had a hot bath and got the cut on your arm healed.

Reporting to Asgore was another thing that you didn’t want to have to deal with but you did. Nindree explained the situation with the kid and made sure to emphasize the fact that you had removed twenty-four hours from the kid's memory so they wouldn’t remember what happened or who attacked them. Asgore merely nodded, told the three of you he was glad you were back in one piece, and then sent you on your way with slices of pie that Toriel had made. You were exhausted, heavy, and just needed to sleep without waking up out of fear that you were going to be attacked in the middle of the night, or that it was going to start raining and kill Grillby.

There were too many nightmares about Grillby dying because you hadn’t woken up when it started raining.

Before you could slip away, Nindree reached out and slowly pulled you into her arms. It was very slow, almost as if she were handling a wild animal or giving you plenty of time to escape if you wanted to. When she finally had you pulled against her, you went limp, exhaling heavily and hugging her back.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, “really…”

“S’okay…you didn’t know,” you replied, patting her back lightly.

Slowly she bent down, making you frown slightly before you felt her lips press against the top of your head.

“Uh…Nindree?” you asked, “What…what’re you doing?”

“Smooching my bestie,” she said, “it feels nice when Cherja kisses my head.”

You went silent for a moment, and then you let out a soft laugh, “Okay then.”

“ _Don’t smooch my mate,”_ Grillby’s voice finally spoke up, you felt relief both from your SOUL and Nindree’s at the sound.

“I’ll smooch the shit out of your mate, flame boy, watch me!” Nindree threatened, and then you felt her smooch your head again. This time with exaggerated ‘mwah’ noises. You let out a laugh and attempted to pull away, but she hoisted you straight off the ground and kissed your cheek instead. You snorted, and shoved her face away. “Don’t resist my affection!” Nindree’s muffled voice came out from beneath your hand.

“You’re a dork,” you said laughing, shoving at her face some more.

You saw Grillby place a hand over his face, but just to stifle a soft laugh. Then he came over, and did something you’d never thought you’d see.

He smooched the top of Nindree’s head, which made her go stock still. In her surprise, he easily removed you from her hands and deposited you back on your feet. You fight down a smile, “Hey! You’re not allowed to smooch other people.”

He bent down and gave you a gentle smooch, making you blush instantly.

“AHAHA! I KNEW YOU LOVED ME, GRILLBY!” Nindree shouted, and before you could process it. She had tackled Grillby onto the ground. It took Cherja coming over to effectively break apart the two who had taken to wrestling in the dirt, well Nindree wrestling with Grillby, who was just trying to get back onto his feet. Cherja shoved Undyne’s Egg into Nindree’s arm, and just like that; Nindree had released Grillby and was heading off with Cherja.

“You brought that on yourself,” you teased softly, helping him to his feet. He shrugged a shoulder, but you could see the soft smile on his face, just like that…everything seemed okay again. Even so…you couldn’t shake the slight hollowness you’d been feeling since seeing that child. Grillby’s head tilted slightly at the sudden drop in your mood again, but you simply took his arm and started leading him back towards your home.

It wasn’t until you were washed and sitting on Grillby’s bed as he tended to the wound on your arm that he finally spoke up. “ _Do you think you’re a murderer?”_

You hadn’t been looking at him, mainly because you had entered his bedroom as he was mid-changing and now was without a shirt as he tended to your wound. You’d tried to get him to put a tunic on but he said it could wait. However, even if he had been wearing a shirt, you knew you couldn’t look up at him, as your voice caught in your throat when you went to speak. He didn’t press you for an answer, just finished wrapping your arm and gave you a monster candy to eat to help speed up the healing process. The cities stash was getting low, so you declined the candy. He looked like he wanted to pressure you into eating that, but after a pause, he sighed and placed it aside.

“…sometimes I have dreams where I’m drowning in a pool of blood as the faces of some of those I killed watch. Other nights, I dream of people that I’ve saved. I…don’t know how I feel about myself,” you murmur, voice so low you didn’t know if he would hear. You kept your gaze locked on the bandages around your arm.

“ _You’re a soldier,”_ he said finally, his hand lifting to caress your cheek.

“I’m not,” you responded back quickly. “You are…but, what am I? I’m not fully a human…nor a monster. I’m a Mage but I’m not like other mages either. I’m only fighting because what else can I do? Does that make me a soldier or…I don’t know? What am I?”

“ _Tired and letting the words of the Grandmaster get to you because they were uttered by a child,”_ Grillby replied, curling his hand around to the back of your head to gently guide you forward to meet him in a kiss. It was chaste, and when he pulled back, his thumb gently stroked your cheek. “ _You have killed…but I do not believe you have killed someone just for the sake of killing them. You have merely done it in defence of yourself or others.”_

You sighed softly, leaning your forehead against his. “I’m sorry.”

Grillby hummed softly, his thumb gently stroking your face in a soothing manner. The events of the past week finally caught up to you and you felt yourself growing heavy with utter exhaustion. Your eyes started to droop, and you gently leaned further against him. A small part of you nudged you gently, reminding you that you had a question you wanted to ask him before you fell asleep lest it wakes you up later in the night.

"You knew that mage was a child," you murmured, eyes drooping shut completely. There was the softest flash of guilt, and you opened your eyes to stare into his. Grillby went to lean away, but you reached up and stopped him. "Don't let this war warp your morals...please..."

" _I..."_ he started and then snapped his mouth shut. More guilt flooded through, " _I'm sorry, but..."_

You gently kissed him, "I know the child is still a threat to monsters...but they were still a kid...and we cannot blame children for what adults force them to do."

Grillby didn't respond right away, but then he kissed you back, " _I...understand. I just...a child can still kill a monster with the right intent. They killed before, and I do not believe the last will be their last kill. Sometimes...death can be kinder than mercy."_

That made you lean away from him, and he wasn't looking at you anymore, staring at the wrapped injury on your arm from where the child mage had scratched your arm bloody. Your eyes searched his face...and you wanted to tell him not to think like that. Never think like that. But...you couldn't bring yourself to. Instead, you reached over and lifted his face until his eyes returned to your face. "I have thought that I should have been killed along with the other Halflings ever since learning about my true past, Grillby...because I would have been spared so much heartache and strife...sometimes I wish that I had been killed," you murmured, and felt a bit of alarm flash through the SOUL connection. You brought your other hand up and cupped his face, "but if I was dead. I would not have met you. I would not have met Nindree. I wouldn't have become the person I am today. We cannot claim to know what will happen in the world...and I will choose mercy over murder _every_ time I am given the choice...because then they have many more options in their life than what I chose for them."

" _I....sometimes I wish that I had died with my parents,"_ Grillby admitted softly, " _So that I wouldn't have to face the pain of not having them here...but if I weren't here...Nindree would be alone...you may have died at your homestead...and...I will also choose mercy over murder if I get the option..."_

You smiled softly at him, then leaned forward and kissed where his nose would be if he had one. When you pulled away, he quickly chased after your lips, and after capturing them in a deeper kiss, he quickly peppered kisses all over your face, pulling laughter from you. " _We should sleep,"_ he suggested but kept dropping small kisses over your face.

“Trying to distract me from my SOUL consuming thoughts?” you asked, fingers mapping out the planes of his face slowly. He leaned into your touch, bright eyes searching yours.

“ _Is it working?_ ”

“Not really…but keep trying.”

He leaned down and caught your lips in a kiss. It started off as it normally did. Soft, sweet, but could still capture your breath within seconds. The kiss deepened slowly, the hand curled around the base of your head slid down your shoulder. You didn’t know if he meant to, but the motion shifted your already loose shift. His fingers caressing nothing but the bare skin of your shoulder.

A shiver rolled through your body and you shifted closer to him. Fingers gently digging into his skin.

There was a change in the air, and his arm gently wrapped around your waist, and with a shift, you felt yourself lowered against the mattress. The kiss only breaking for you to breathe, but you didn’t stay away from it too long. You craved the feeling of his lips against yours.

Your SOUL gave a loud thump as his hands began to politely explore your body in gentle touches. When a hand brushed over your chest, you let out a breathy moan.

It caused Grillby to pull away, staring down at you curiously. You flushed brilliantly in response. When he didn’t say anything, nor continued where he left off, you realized he was waiting for you to explain what just happened. That just made you blush even more. It seemed to click for him when you moved to cover your face, and he apologized quietly. You shook your head, “it’s fine…I don’t mind.”

You looked back at him, and you saw the gears turning in his head as his eyes slowly roamed over your body, and then settled on your face once more.

“Uh…you…you know, in human culture marriage comes before sex or else I’m considered ‘dishonourable’…” you said, trying to make a joke out of it. The two of you had this conversation, or one similar to it, before, and you didn’t want to relive that awkward encounter. So, you attempted to encourage him to keep kissing you instead, but the hand resting on your hip shifted slightly and kept you from being able to lean up any more than you currently were.

“ _Do you want that?”_ he asked, his flames shifting weirdly.

“…to be dishonourable?”

He snorted, which made the corner of your mouth lift. “ _No…the human marriage part.”_

Your breath caught in your throat, but you shook your head. “I stopped caring what humanity thought of me a long time ago…besides…I don’t need some silly human custom telling me that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

He leaned down and kissed the scar on your now exposed shoulder, the one you got from the arrow years ago. A shiver rolled through your body, and you lifted a hand up to rest on the back of his head. You remembered his letter, and how afraid and angry he said he had been at the sight of you being shot. Grillby kissed it again gently, before whispering into the side of your neck, “ _I’d marry you. I’d bond with you. I’d give everything I am to you._ ”

Tears started to pool in your eyes as he gently pressed little kisses into your neck and against the scar on your shoulder, the scar on your face.

“I don’t deserve you,” you blubbered out, hands coming up to caress at his cheeks, his jaw, his brow, everything.

“…that’s my line,” he murmured, kissing your tears. You heard soft sizzling as his fire evaporated them, the sound drew a tearful giggle from you, and he smiled down at you. “ _Your laughter is music to my ears.”_

He peppered your face with kisses, drawing more giggles from you.

“ _When we survive this-“_

You pressed a kiss against his throat where the scar across his throat had been, “Tell me…so it’s a surprise for after we survive.”

Then, you hooked a leg around his waist and took advantage of his surprise to flip him onto his back. A feat considering he was so much bigger than you, and you smiled down at him.

You’d remember this night for the rest of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end of the fic!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	28. The Start of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignatius' name is pronouced like: ig-nay-she-us

“Has Nindree every told you about the time she tried to convince Grillby to let her teach him how to swim?” Cendris asked, the question directed towards Cherja. You tightened the rope securing the large waxed clothe draped over the back of the wagon and glanced over curiously.

“Why would she do that?” you asked, amusement in your voice as you fashioned a knot.

“That mussst’ve been quite the attempt,” Cherja added, as they helped Cendris start loading the cart turned caravan. You’d spent the week figuring out ways to turn your cart into a caravan and waterproofing a large enough piece of fabric. That way, during the travel to the sea, Grillby and his family could remain safe within without being worried about getting wet.

“Oh, it was! He off-handedly mentioned that he never wanted to get on a boat in his life, and she offered to teach him to swim. He was like ‘…No, Nindree, I’m good. Water and I don’t mix’, she took that as ‘I’m scared of the water.’ Took the entirety of our dinner together for her to finally realize that he will Dust if he comes into contact with a large body of water.” Cendris laughed, shaking her head, “whenever he tried, she assumed he meant ‘oh you just are scared of water’ even when he said he’d die.”

Cherja shook their head, “I adore her…”

You laughed, “She was just looking out for your brother! In her…weird way.”

Cherja nodded with a light smile on their face, “I do have a quessstion for you, Cendrisss. The other day your brother pulled out a pinecone from hisss sssatchel, and ssstarted eating it in front of Nindree. SSShe ssseemed confusssed, but when asssked, he didn’t ressspond. Do you normally eat pineconesss?”

Cendris snorted, “No! We eat normal things. I’ve never seen him eat a pinecone before.”

“I have,” you said with a grin, “He likes to do it in front of people who are too polite to ask him if it’s normal for him to eat them.”

Cendris burst into laughter, shaking her head, “My brother is the biggest dork.”

“I would have to disssagree, my mate isss,” Cherja joked, their smile growing a bit more as they secured another chest to the cart.

You climbed inside the caravan and fidgeted with the way the waxed cloth was lying on the caravan, before turning. “Alright, I think we’re all good.”

Cherja’s body jerked oddly, and you hopped down off the caravan. “Cher?” you placed a hand on their shoulder as you stepped around.

An arrow was sticking out from the center of their chest. Their mouth was gaped in surprise.

“NINDREE!” you screamed, throwing up a barrier. 

You watched as tears began to slip from Cherja’s eyes, their hand clutching the arrow before it slipped from them as Dust started to trickle from their chest outward. While one hand stayed up to keep the barrier in place, your other reached towards them. “C-Cherja,” you choked out, “You’ll be okay.”

“T…tell my- tell Undyne, I love them. I love them with my…whole SSSSSSOUL,” Cherja begged, the most emotion in their voice you ever heard as they reached out and grasped your arm. “Tell Nindree the…sss…ssame.”

You felt the moment their body disintegrated into Dust.

The soft trickle of Dust between your fingers.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. NO!

They couldn’t be gone.

You couldn’t have lost someone that easily.

They were just…you were just laughing with them.

They couldn’t …no….no!

No!

Your gaze snapped up to Cendris as she grabbed your arm, eyes wide and staring over your shoulder. That was the reminder you needed. You weren’t safe even if you had a barrier up. You couldn’t see any archer. You couldn’t see anyone. The sun had just set, leaving the city in the state of darkness before monsters with fire magic would have lit the street lamps. 

An awful, gut-wrenching scream filled your ears.

You looked over to see Nindree sprinting across the courtyard towards you and Cendris.

The faintest glint of metal was all you needed.

You jerked out of Cendris’ grip, swiping your arms over and tossing the barrier towards Nindree. It covered her mere seconds before an arrow bounced harmlessly off of it. She skidded to a stop, fire in her eyes as she whirled towards the attacker.

“YOU BASTARD!” Nindree roared, her bow forming in her grip as she mimicked, pulling back a bowstring. The arrow was released just as you lowered the barrier, and you watched as it flew to the wall and connect. A choked gurgle sounded before a solid thud.

She immediately abandoned her bow in favour of darting over to the pile of Dust. She froze, standing above it. Tears trickled down her cheeks as her legs gave out. Her fingers slowly hovered over the Dust, before she wailed. The sound echoing throughout the village.

The alarm bell started clanging then, along with the screams of monsters.

Grillby came into view, tugging on his helmet. He froze, staring down at Nindree as she curled over the Dust, sobbing. His eyes met yours through his helmet, a pang of shared grief pierced your SOUL. Cherja wasn’t going to be the first death tonight, but both of you would try your damnedest to limit the number.

You placed a hand on Nindree’s shoulder, “Where’s Undyne?”

“Toriel h-has them,” Nindree choked out, wiping roughly at her eyes. She fumbled along her belt until she felt her coin purse. You watched her uncaringly dump the coins out onto the ground before ever so gently scooping Cherja’s Dust into the pouch. You threw up a barrier, meeting Grillby’s gaze again.

“Get Cendris to Toriel and the others, I’ll stay with her,” you called out to him.

The order seemed to snap him out of the frozen state he was in. Though you felt him wanting to ignore the request and stay, thankfully, he quickly gestured towards his sister. Once she was by his side, you threw up another barrier around yourself and Nindree. 

“ _ Stay safe, _ ” Grillby ordered you, before summoning his sword into his hand and calling out to other monsters hiding from the screams and barrage of arrows. 

You spotted human soldiers pouring in through the gate across the town square. There wasn’t going to be anytime to mourn. Not tonight. You squeezed Nindree’s shoulder before removing your hand to summon your staff.

You tried to reach out with your magic to swing the gates shut, but something blocked you.

You spotted another’s barrier a second later.

“They’ve got a mage,” you cursed out loud. Nindree stood up, tying her pouch back onto her hip.

Her face was tear-stained, and you’d never seen such murderous intent on her face. “We need to get the civilians out first.”

This wasn’t war.

This was slaughter.

You dropped the barrier, and without a word, you and Nindree bolted forward to join the guards, desperately fighting off the advancing humans. There were a few familiar monsters fighting back against the humans. Wei was one of them, his impressive size and strength scaring quite a few humans away from him...but you could also tell that he was being careful with his fighting. You could survive a stab wound...most monsters could not. You didn’t see any mage within the walls, which was typical for a mage. Why have them frontline fighting when they could provide ranged support and be out of harm's way? 

Nindree's normal almost joyous fighting was gone. Every shot she took was full of her pain and rage. You could feel the angry magic of her arrows as she loosed them upon the human archers along the wall.

You still weren't the best fighter, so you summoned Druhim.

His eyes took in the scene around you and you saw the shift from your Papa to monster who had felt this pain before. His instructions helped you when solider's did get close to you. How to hit them. How to avoid getting hit.

You felt his worry and sense of dread.

You refused to believe that this would end up as your village did.

You refused.

A soldier managed to get past both yours and Nindree's notice, and the only warning you had was a flash of metal off to your side and the sudden sensation of someone shifting their feet beside you. You threw yourself back. The sword swung down where you were a second ago, barely missing you. The solider quickly adjusted his grip and attempted to take another swing at you but you swung your staff at him forcing him back. Panic was welling inside you, but you squashed it down. Fight now. Panic later. You couldn't let yourself get overwhelmed. You darted to the side, grabbing your dagger, and spying the weak part of their armour. As you went to stab it in, the soldier twisted and the dagger merely scored the plating instead.

The solider slammed their elbow into your nose, and you felt the sharp hot white pain as it broke. Nindree heard your pained gasp, and whirled around. With a dark snarl, she summoned an arrow and slammed it straight into the soldier’s neck. However, she didn’t stop the momentum there, and the force of her blow sent the man careening back. His feet caught on some debris, and he crashed to the ground, choking on his own blood.

Nindree dissipated the arrow, but in the next movement, she had another arrow knocked in her bow and taking aim at the advancing soldiers.

You tasted copper as blood trickled from your broken nose. Still, you simply spat into the dirt and shook off the disorientated feeling. Need to keep fighting.

Summoning a spell, you concentrated on feeling your magic swirling to do as you commanded it.

Sharp unyielding despair choked you then.

Your hand flew to your SOUL, and you staggered back.

Nindree called your name, but you could barely hear it.

It wasn’t until she grabbed your arm and shook you, that you snapped out of it. Her eyes were wide in panic. “Is Grillby…?”

You shook your head, “Alive. He…I need to find him.”

She nodded, taking aim at some soldiers. The arrow she let loose split into three mid-way and slammed into the men. 

The pain in your chest was almost crippling as you reached out towards Grillby. There was no immediate response, however, just despair pulsating strongly. Though, you didn’t need an answer to know where he was. Nindree followed right behind you as you hurried towards him. 

As you rounded the corner of a street, you saw him.

He was standing in a blazing inferno, smoke pooling from his mouth as soldiers around him screamed in pain and fear. A few monsters were clinging to each other, but the flames weren’t touching them at all. You took a step towards Grillby, but the fire caught your cloak, in a panic, you jumped backward and quickly yanked it off.

“I’ll send the monsters to you,” Nindree said, hurrying past you towards the group. The flames didn’t touch her either, and you were suddenly worried about why they were harming you.

You reached out towards Grillby again, but the despair was clogging the connection. You worried that he couldn’t feel you trying to soothe him and concerned about what that might mean. 

Though, when the monsters emerged back out of the flames, you couldn’t stay there to worry. Nindree was with him. So, you quickly hurried the monsters along, leading them towards the northern exit to the city where Asgore and Toriel were waiting anxiously. Toriel flew forward instantly, her massive paw reaching towards your face with green magic around it.

“No, save your magic,” you blurted out, giving the monster beside you a gentle push. “I don’t know how many other civilians are in the city.”

Toriel looked torn, but Asgore stepped forward, a massive red trident in his hand. “We cannot wait too much longer, the soldiers will be too close if we do…”

You nodded, “We’ll hold off the soldiers for as long as we can…and any other monster we find we will bring with us.”

Vivaldi came to your side then, “I’ll stay with you, I can teleport monsters out quickly and get them headed down the path after Asgore and Toriel.”

“I’ll stay too,” Gaster offered, “We will undoubtedly find monsters in need of healing, and while my magic isn’t as good as Queen Toriel’s it will be enough.”

Asgore gave a solemn nod, “Catch up when you can…but we cannot afford to let the human army get too close. We will keep moving.”

You nodded before he pulled you into a quick hug. “Stay safe, my friend.”

You returned the hug, “You too.”

Without lingering, you turned and gestured for Gaster and Vivaldi to follow you. You needed to get back to Grillby. You could feel the despair still thick and choking, and while you knew Nindree was with him and he was safe…you didn’t want to be far away from him. Not when he was like this.

A hand grasped your arm, and you turned back to see Ignatius, Cendris’ SOULmate. His fires were dim. “Cendris…” he choked out, “She’s gone…where…”

You went cold.

Grillby’s …sister…that’s why…

You grabbed Ignatius’ arm. Grillby wouldn’t have left his sisters Dust. You guided him through the city streets, ignoring Vivaldi’s questioning look and Gaster’s actual question about why you were bringing Ignatius with you. 

The inferno was gone, and Nindree was clutching one hand to her chest. Grillby was staring down at the ground at the pile of Dust. Smoke was still billowing forth from his mouth, and his flames were low and dark. Ignatius darted forward, then a cry leaving his lips. At the sound, Grillby turned, and you saw the guilt etched into his flames. He blamed himself.

Grillby tore his cloak off of his shoulders and scooped as much of the Dust as he could onto it before carefully tying it. By the time he straightened, smoke was pooling from his mouth, and his flames were deep red and dark. He carefully handed the bundle to Ignatius. His mouth opened, and you could see that he was struggling with words. So, you stepped forward.

“Viv, can you teleport Ignatius to the others?” you asked, gesturing towards him. She nodded and teleported over to the fire elementals. Ignatius paused before grabbing Grillby’s shoulder. 

“ _ Stay strong,” _ he said, voice thick with emotion before he released Grillby and turned towards Vivaldi. In an instant, they were both gone. Grillby inhaled deeply, eyes closing before they cracked open, bright and angry.

“ _ We need to sweep the city, _ ” Grillby said, voice thick with unshed emotions. “ _ Get the remaining guard, by the Northern exit and hold the humans off for as long as we can. _ ”

Vivaldi appeared a second later, prompting your group of five to move. That number slowly grew in size as more and more guards and other monsters joined, carving out a path of the soldiers. It was clear, however, that the favour was heavily on the human's side…and that there was no chance of holding out for long against them by the gate. 

Then again…Grillby had only said ‘for as long as we can.’

By the time the group had reached the northern gate, the group size had started to decrease as monsters fell in fighting. There was no chance to stop and collect their Dust, not with the humans bearing down on the group with such ferocity.

You still hadn’t seen the mage. Though you felt the effects of their magic growing closer and closer.

You brought down some buildings at the request of Grillby to force the humans to need to funnel themselves through one street instead of multiple routes. However, you knew you could offer some respite to the monsters if you put up a barrier. How long you could sustain, it was another thing, however.

“Should I put up a barrier?” you asked Grillby during a very brief lull. Your magic was getting low, and you didn’t know when the mage would make their appearance. Were they waiting for you to get low so that they’d have a better chance? Or were they never going to show their face? Simply back up to the human army. Either way, you wanted to save some of your magic…but you also didn’t want to risk getting close and personal with the soldiers. 

You took quick stock of where everyone was. Gaster was near the back, making sure that no soldiers got further back than him. Grillby was sending a blast of fire towards some of the archers on the wall, their screams as they burnt, adding to the chaos that surrounded you. Vivaldi was fighting next to Nindree, her bone attacks making quick work out of her enemies.

Nindree took aim at some of the remaining archers.

You saw the flash of metal as a soldier spun towards her, slashing down with his blade.

“Nindree!” you shouted, trying to warn her.

Nindree’s eyes widened, and she twisted to get out of the way. Her shot went wide. She turned, attempting to stab the man with the arrow instead. He lifted his shield, blocking the attack quickly. She kicked out one of his legs from under him, and he fell to the floor. As she swung down her arrow towards his neck, he swung his sword.

It all happened in an instant, and by the time you had reacted and sent a spell throwing the man backwards. It was too late.

She crashed to the ground, a scream pooling from her mouth.

Vivaldi darted to Nindree, reaching her moments before you did, and threw up a bone shield blocking an incoming soldier from getting to them. You slid to a stop, grabbing at Nindree’s shoulder. Her eyes were wide, and she was staring down at her now missing leg. Nothing remaining of it besides Dust on the wind. You quickly shifted your hand down to the rapidly dusting limb and allowed what little healing magic you had in you to pour into the wound. Hoping that it would stop the dusting. Hoping that she would be fine. 

The soldier was probably hoping to just maim her with that injury. She wouldn’t die.

Nindree couldn’t die.

“We  _ have _ to retreat,” you told Vivaldi, meeting her gaze. “I might have enough magic to bring some of the buildings down to block the human armies path.”

Vivaldi nodded, “Gaster can use his blasters to create a landslide.”

You nodded and jerked your head towards him. “Go…I can’t lose anyone else.”

She nodded, reaching over to you and squeezing your shoulder. “I can take her with me, you get Grillby.”

Nindree grasped your arm, “Bring him back, or I’m kicking both of your asses.”

You nodded, and then bent down and pressed your forehead against hers. “I will.”

Before Vivaldi could reach down to grabbed Nindree, the soldiers suddenly backed off. They pulled back to and separated to reveal a mage. She was one of the older mages. You didn’t quite recognize her, but you knew from her length that she was a Master Sage. Therefore, incredibly dangerous. You straightened, hand tightening on your staff as you quickly moved to stand at the front of the monsters.

The Master Sage stopped a reasonable distance away from you. She stood tall and full of authority. Her gaze swept over your group of exhausted and injured monsters. They held such coldness in them…until they landed on you. An odd warmth entered her features. She called out your name softly.

When you didn’t respond right away, she sighed softly.

“My soldiers told me there was another Mage here. I am not surprised to see your face. Now, it’s time to come home, give up this silly rebellion,” the woman said, holding her arms out as if she was a mother beckoning her misbehaving child.

“Forgive me, but who the fuck do you think you are?” you snapped, hand tightening around your staff. The woman’s smile hardened slightly, and her arms lowered.

“Oh, only the woman who saved your life many, many years ago,” she said, clasping her hands in front of her. “Once again, attempting to do so. Your family has a history of being quite…idiotic when it comes to decisions. Your father-“

“I don’t care,” you interrupted harshly, “I’m  _ talking  _ about who the fuck do you think you are as in who gave you the  _ fucking _ right to attack  ** my ** home in such a cowardice way.”

“Such anger. You need to calm down,” she said, holding up a hand, almost amusement stretching over her face.

“Shut. Up,” Nindree snarled from behind you, “You fucking BITCH. You  ** MURDERED  ** civilians!”

The woman ignored Nindree entirely, gesturing towards you again. “I can save you once more. Grandmaster Marquis appreciates my council. Trust me, my child. If you do not…I cannot promise your…friends will be safe. If you come home...you can use your power to save them. This slaughter is pointless anyways, we learn nothing from it.”

You didn’t respond right away, dropping your gaze to the ground.

Not because you were considering her offer, but you needed to make her think you were.

You closed your eyes, ignoring her words as she continued to rant about why you should return back to the Citadel. 

You ignored the pain in your face of the broken bone. The exhaustion that clung to your body. The ache of your tense muscles. The sweat, blood, Dust, and tears that stuck to your skin.

Instead, you did something you hadn’t needed to do since rescuing Vivaldi. You inhaled the dusty air and focused on the excess magic floating in the wind. So many dead monsters…so much excess magic. Wasted magic. Dead magic.

You opened your SOUL to it all.

Nindree gasped behind you, but you ignored her.

You felt your magic soaring.

Druhim’s voice cautioned you in the back of your mind.

You ignored him.

“How did you….” the mage whispered, voice carrying across the wind. “Shoot her!”

Your eyes snapped open, throwing up a barrier at the same time a row of bones shot up to block you from the onslaught of arrows. You glared at the Master Sage, dropping the barrier and slammed your staff into the ground. The earth cracked open, splitting rapidly straight towards her. She merely stepped aside from the splitting ground, adjusting her weight as the ground shifted and bent beneath her feet. You threw spell after spell at her, letting your rage get the better of you. Absorbing all the ambient magic in the air to fuel your attacks so that no matter how powerful of a spell you threw at her, you barely wasted any of it.

No matter what you threw at her, she figured out a counter for.

“ _ She and your Da share the same magical ability _ ,” Druhim’s voice whispered in the back of your mind, “ _ Stop thinking about your attacks as much. _ ”

You cut off your latest attack, chest heaving. “ _ How can I not?” _ you asked out loud, glaring at the woman who seemed merely amused by your attacks rather than threatened. You risked a glance over your shoulder at the monsters. They were dutifully guarding the gate, preventing the humans from following after the civilians. No matter what, that was what you were all there for.

To save as many lives as you could. 

“ _ I never figured that out _ ,” Druhim admitted quietly.

You grunted, rolling your shoulder, and turning your attention back over to the Master Sage.

“Are you finished yet?” she called mockingly, “Even with that strange ability of yours…you still can’t beat someone clearly superior to you. Though, if you keep this up, I might just…”

You watched as she extended a hand out, runes appearing in a circle around her hands before a blast of pure magic erupted from her palm. It startled you, you’d never seen that spell before, and you threw up a barrier. 

Your barrier shattered.

The spell didn’t hit you.

It flew past your shoulder, and you turned, mouth open to call out.

You watched as it slammed into Vivaldi and threw her backwards. She was Dust before she hit the ground. 

Silence.

Gaster wailed.

Tears blurred your vision.

Cherja.

Cendris.

Vivaldi.

Anger flashed through your body. 

The Citadel did nothing but take from you. They took your family. They took your home. They took your memories. Now they were taking your family again. They were taking your home. Again. 

You wouldn’t let them. You couldn’t let them. 

Turning around, you flipped your SOUL, feeling your skin turn to rock, and you moved towards the bitch. The Master Sage’s eyes widened. Your magic pooled into the ground, expanding across the dirt and rock. The ground shifted, and the woman dropped a foot into the Earth as it sucked her feet beneath and started to  _ crush _ . Panic lashed out of her SOUL, tainting the air.

You didn’t care.

She killed Vivaldi.

You withdrew the dagger from your hip, shifted it in your grip, and slammed it into her chest. Over and over and over again.

Cherja.

Cendris.

Vivaldi.

They were dead.

Who else would die?

Why couldn’t you save anyone?

Why did everyone you care about die?

Why weren’t you good enough.

Why couldn’t you save them?

“ _ My little moon, you’re taking too much magic into your SOUL _ ,” Druhim’s voice whispered into your ear.

You were choking on it, that was true…but if your entire magic wasn’t enough to protect those you cared about, why shouldn’t you take in more? Take it all. You weren't enough...but you could become enough.

The Master Sage’s magic was pooling out with her blood.

So, you took it.

She didn’t need her magic anymore.

Your hands were covered in blood.

The ground began to quake.

The cracks in your rocky skin began to glow with unrestrained magic.

A soldier dared to try to attack you.

Their armour was made of metal.

It cracked their bones, and they fell before they were within five feet of you.

More magic.

More metal.

Bran. 

Cherja.

Cendris.

Vivaldi.

Druhim.

Chief.

All the other Halflings.

They were all dead.

They were all dead because of humanity.

Warm hands cupped your face, and your magic nearly lashed out, but it quickly slipped around Grillby’s form. It’s wrath seeking out something else to destroy. 

“ _ Be calm,” _ he whispered, lowering his forehead to rest on yours, “ _ This is not you _ .”

Your eyes focused slowly on his before your attention focused past him at the retreating human's soldiers. Your hand started to extend, but Grillby grabbed your wrist. “ _ We need to get everyone out. That’s our mission.” _

For a moment, you wanted to ignore him.

Humanity killed your family.

Soft concern brushed against your SOUL, and you closed your eyes and lowered your arm. You nodded stiffly, leaning your forehead against his.

Blood covered your arms, and you felt numb. Bodies littered the ground around you, but it wasn’t enough. You didn’t know if all the blood in the world could make you feel better…and you didn’t know if you wanted to find out or not. Your gaze landed on Gaster’s, his eye lights were gone, and he was holding a pouch you assumed was filled with Vivaldi’s Dust. The two of you stared at each other for the longest time before your gaze shifted to the mountain. Vivaldi said that he could take down the mountain. You refused to let the soldiers regroup and come this way.

“Gaster,” you called out, turning towards him, “The mountain.”

He nodded, and four skeleton heads that looked reminiscent of the dragons you had once read about appeared behind him. They directed their gaze towards the mountains before their maws open. The loudest sound you had ever heard pierced the air before bright bolts of energy blasted from their mouths. 

It scared you more that you reacted to neither the noise nor the bright lights. 

The energy slammed into the mountain, and you shoved some of your magic at the rocks, encouraging them to fall faster and with more force than they would’ve normally. You helped the thundering rocks to fall towards where the humans were still running towards the opposite entrance. If the landslide blocked humans from escaping…you wouldn’t complain. Gaster watched, emotionless as you felt.

“Move!” Grillby barked, grabbing your upper arm with one hand. You almost lashed out at him again, your magic was too volatile.

Grillby bent down and scooped Nindree off the ground, tossing her over his shoulder and shoved another monster towards the gate. The mountain was still crumbling down, and you glanced over your shoulder at Gaster. 

He wasn’t moving. 

His hands curled around the pouch, purple tears slipping down his cheeks.

For a moment, your body shifted away, getting ready to follow after Grillby.

Then, Sans’ face darted into your mind.

He couldn’t lose both parents.

Vivaldi wouldn’t want Gaster to throw his life away like this.

You quickly directed a large boulder away from Gaster, before you sprinted to his side. He looked at you without his eye lights, but thick purple magic tears dripping down his cheeks. Without hesitation, you grabbed his arm, bent and yanked him onto your shoulders. Even though he went complete tense, he didn’t protest. You felt smaller rocks bashing against you, slowly growing to bigger chunks.

You ran.

Not looking back.

You ran alongside Grillby and the other guard monsters to survive until you were well clear of the rockslide. Further along, you could see where the other monsters had headed off to. They’d moved off the main road and into the forest. Good. They’d be less easy to spot immediately, and an army would have a tougher time fighting or moving through a forest.

After doing a quick glance around at the remaining fighters, Grillby ordered everyone to keep moving. Quickly and quietly. 

You set Gaster down and quickly had to support him as his legs gave out from under him. His own colours were pale, and you could almost hear the mourning wail of his SOUL. He slowly removed the container of Vivaldi’s Dust from his robes and clutched it to his chest. You didn’t want to rush him off, but at the same time, you didn’t feel safe just letting him mourn in the open like this. As gently as you could, you began leading him after the others. It was more dragging if you were honest.

“We need to get you to Sans,” you muttered as you watched Grillby and Nindree duck into the forest. “He needs his father.”

Gasters skull gently bobbed, “my boy…my son…” he whispered almost to himself, “I don’t want him to be alone…we were going to have another…”

You felt your SOUL ache painfully at that…Vivaldi had been incredibly hopeful about having another child once the war was over. Now…now…

You shoved those thoughts down. Hard.

Get them to safety.

One foot at a time.

You wouldn’t let the darkness consume you again.

You’d lost friends….but the others? Grillby lost his sister. Nindree and Gaster lost their SOULmate. Countless others lost friends, family, loved ones. 

If the humans had decided to attack tomorrow night…the city would’ve been empty.

Had they been planning on attacking the night before so that there would be that added bit of chaos? So much had been lost…

You shoved those thoughts aside roughly.

One. Foot. At. A. Time.

Toriel greeted you all the moment you got close enough. Her voice was full of horror, tragedy, and mourning. You led Gaster over to her and gently released him. Sans was holding onto her skirts, and when he saw his father, his face brightened slightly. You didn’t want to be around when Gaster told Sans that his mother would never be coming home again.

Because you had been a second too slow.

Toriel tried to stop you, but you brushed past her and moved immediately to Grillby and Nindree’s side. 

He was lowering her to the ground, a Healer already working on her dusting limb. Nindree was weeping quietly into her hand, curled in on herself. Grillby crouched down beside her and drew her into a hug, resting his chin on her head. 

“Their last words were to tell Undyne and you that they loved you, with all their SOUL,” you mumbled when the Healer left to tend to the next injured monster. Nindree sobbed, her hand reaching up towards you. You weakly lifted your hands to show her the blood and took a step away. Her hand grabbed your wrist and tugged you forward. She wrapped an arm around your waist and pressed her head against your stomach. 

“Don’t you ever fucking take this much magic in your SOUL again, I CAN’T lose anyone else,” Nindree sobbed against you.

“Where’s Undyne??” Nindree begged, “I need them.”

Ignatius seemed to be summoned by that, or maybe he had been near the entire time, but his hands appeared beside you as he passed Undyne over to her mother. Nindree curled around the Egg, sobbing quietly. Grillby held an arm out to Cendris’ SOULmate, inviting him into the embrace.

This was what was left of your family.

Grillby’s gaze met yours, and his hand reached up to brush your cheek. “Don’t _ do that  ** ever ** again.” _

Small bright spots slid down his cheeks.

He was crying.

You reached out, no longer caring that both of your hands were bloody as you gently cupped his cheeks. His tears stung your fingers lightly, but you didn’t care. 

He was safe. Nindree was safe. Gaster and Sans were together.

The realization that there was no one to fight at the moment hit you.

You collapsed to the ground, grasping for Grillby and Nindree. Grillby yanked you against Nindree’s back and his chest, pressing his face into your hair. His other arm pulled Ignatius closer.

Your family.

You couldn’t lose anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	29. Loneliness Meant Safety

Loneliness meant safety.

That had been your mantra for years.

Ten goddamn years. It had kept you safe for that long, and then you had allowed others to enter your life.

If you weren’t around people. You couldn’t be hurt because of them. Though…that was never the reason why you wanted to be isolated. Sure, there were times you told yourself that you separated yourself because it kept you safe. Losing your farm was one of those times. However, at the end of the day. It had never been about your own safety.

The real reason?

Others wouldn’t be hurt because of you.

Bran was dead…because of you.

Vivaldi was dead…because of you.

Cendris was dead because you didn’t go with Grillby and her…maybe you could’ve protected her.

Cherja….Cherja was dead because you had let the city become a safe spot for you and let your guard down.

You wouldn’t let anyone else die because of you.

Grillby, Nindree and Incendis never left each other’s sides, but you couldn’t be idle. You couldn’t let yourself mourn. You couldn’t. You just…needed to move. 

There was also a part of yourself that refused to allow you to mourn. After all, you hadn’t lost a sister or a SOULmate. You’d just lost friends…and you couldn’t imagine their pain. Sure, you lost both your fathers and entire village when you were four, but that was so long ago…a distant memory. Almost someone else's memories at this point if you were honest with yourself.

You set up tents. You helped Toriel hand out blankets, food, water, magic healing items. You scouted. You did everything you could to not allow yourself to sit still.

Until Grillby stopped you as you were hurrying past a tent with a bundle of fabric in your arms. You …hadn’t seen him in two days? When was the last time you slept? That was…was that the last time you had seen him? He looked…awful. Guilt clung heavier to your SOUL, and you tried to clamp it down, he was suffering enough without you adding your own feelings to his SOUL. 

“ _ Come with me,” _ he said, voice soft and soothing. You hesitated, before glancing down at the blankets in your arms. “We’ll _ drop those off.” _

He placed a gentle hand on your back and gestured for you to keep in the direction you were heading in. You hesitated momentarily but then nodded. He didn’t say anything even after you dropped off the blankets to the monsters who needed them. All he did was guide you from the small encampment deeper into the woods. His hand held yours tighter than normal. Concern, fear, doubt, and the vaguest sense of struggling hope seemed to be ebbing from Grillby. His emotions on top of your own made you feel, not for the first time since the attack, like you were about to burst.

“How is Nindree and Ignatius?” you asked.

“ _ Alive,” _ came his almost clipped response. You felt another spike of guilt and then Grillby came to a stop. There was no sound from the encampment anymore besides the loudest of calls or the occasional clang of metal against metal as monsters cooked or trained. That wasn’t the only thing you noticed, however, but it felt almost easier to breathe out here. It didn’t feel like you were suffocating or that you were always on the verge of tears.

Grillby lifted your hand and pressed his mouth against your knuckles before releasing your hand. “ _ You need to stop.” _

“Stop what?” you asked, dropping your gaze to the ground, unable to handle the concern that was in his eyes.

“When’s _ the last time you slept? Ate? Have you allowed yourself to mourn?”  _ he asked, placing his hands on his hips, when you opened your mouth he shook his head. “ _ Do not lie to me. I know you haven’t since before the attack.” _

You shut your mouth with an audible click, “I…have been busy-“

Grillby placed his hands on your face and lifted your head to look at him, he said your name firmly, “ _ Stop lying to me.” _

You swallowed thickly, taking a moment to push past all the excuses that were popping up in your mind. You didn’t want to be a burden to him or any of them. “I can’t sit still. I-I’m…I feel like I just…” you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, “I didn’t do enough.”

Grillby slowly got to his knees in front of you, never letting go of your face. “ _ I didn’t either. _ ”

You shattered.

You threw your arms around him, holding as close as you possibly could as you  _ sobbed _ . It was inconsolable, choked noises that stole your breath and became silent as you could barely make a noise. You mourned for your friends, your family. You cried for the loss that the love of your life was feeling. His arms were tight around you, clutching your tunic tightly in his fists as he held you against his chest as fiercely as you were holding onto him. You felt the sting of his tears against your neck, which just made you cry harder.

Silent apologies spilled from your SOUL, begging him to forgive you.

You hadn’t been there for him through all of this.

He’d lost his sister.

Grillby’s SOUL was mournful as it responded, but there was no blame. 

You hadn’t needed to ever console someone before, and you didn’t know how to do it. Even now, you wanted to say the right thing. You wanted to be able to do the right thing that will help make everything okay again for him, but you couldn’t. There was no magic word. There was no mystical thing that you could do that would make everything better.

All the two of you could do was be there for each other. To hold each other, share in your grief, and reassure each other that neither of you was alone.

“ _ We do need to talk about what happened and this _ ,” Grillby spoke finally, his lips brushing against your neck as he refused to let you go. You gently stroked the back of his head. Both of your grips had loosened, but that didn’t mean that you were any further apart from each other. Merely that you both were too exhausted to keep up the strenuous tight hug.

“About what?” you murmured, needing clarification on the second part. He gently tapped the center of your upper back.

“ _ Your SOUL is still full of excess magic. _ ”

You hadn’t been focusing on your SOUL beyond trying to keep everything bottled up and allowing yourself to feel for Grillby’s SOUL. The reminder that you had absorbed excess magic from the air again made your focus shift to your SOUL and it was almost overwhelming. Your fingers dug into Grillby’s skin a bit as you let out a strained gasp. Grillby rubbed your back.

“ _ You need to release it. _ ”

Clenching your jaw, you took a step back, hand sliding to rest on his shoulders, “Go back to the camp while I do it.”

His flames crackled in confusion, “ _ Why would I go back?” _

“I...” you removed your hands from his shoulders and looked down at them. “I’m... I...don’t want to hurt you.”

“ _ Why would you hurt me?”  _ he asked, getting to his feet and gently taking your hands in his. “ _ I trust you with all my SOUL that even in the darkest of moments, you would never.” _

“I...almost did,” you admitted quietly, voice barely a whisper. “I almost crushed your armour.”

Grillby didn’t respond at first, and you took a step away from him, removing your hands from his and wrapping your arms around yourself. “I don’t know what came over me, I couldn’t control myself. It was like...I don’t know,” you whispered, feeling that empty feeling starting to wash over you again. “What if it happens again? What if the humans had a reason to fear the power of Halflings? What if I lose control during the next battle? I’m...am I the best aspects of humans and monsters....or the worst? What if the Grandmaster was right?”

“ _ I don’t know much about Halflings...but I do not think that the Grandmaster will ever be right. You are not a...’ demon spawn’ or whatever he called you. You lost sight of who you are temporarily because you had just seen two of your close friends die, and plenty of monsters murdered around you. I don’t believe that you would’ve followed through with it once you realized it was me. _ ”

“What if I didn’t realize it was you?”

There was a touch of almost frustration pulsing from his SOUL as he fell silent. You didn’t say anything, just allowed him to process what you had said. Part of you was worried that he’d realize that you were a danger and send you away, but the other half almost wanted him to. Send you away before you could harm anyone else.

Instead, Grillby reached up and ran a hand down his face, “ _ When…When…Cendris…when she was dusted,” _ he started, his flames instantly dimming at the mention of his sister, “ _ I created an inferno around me in my anguish…Nindree said you tried to get to me but the flames were too hot. If you had entered and been burnt alive…I wouldn’t have noticed until it was too late. I was so furious at the humans that…”  _ Grillby stared down at his own hands, “ _ my magic lashed out at  _ any _ human. Emotions…emotions control my magic. If I become too angry, it’s hard to stop it from hurting those close to me. Even if I’m too happy, I’m worried that I will hurt you. I’m a constant danger to you, but you? I have never been afraid of you, and I never will be. Even if your magic hurts me, I know it will be because you have lost control, and you need help finding your way, and I will always be there to help guide you back to your path. _ ”

Your gaze blurred as thick hot tears blinded you temporarily, stinging your already sensitive eyes. As you swallowed thickly, you reached up and grasped his tunic, pulling him down to pepper his face with kisses. You felt the gentlest of smiles on his face as you did so. Pressing your forehead against his, you remembered the words he said so many years ago when you asked about SOULmates.

_ “Typically, the ideal mate is someone who you are in sync with, who can understand you, who you trust with your life, and who is there for you throughout everything.” _

You rested your hand flat against his chest. 

“I want to be that for you too,” you whispered softly, “but I feel like I just lead you into trouble.”

He made an undignified noise, “ _ You do attract a lot of trouble...but that is not your fault. Just like I can’t not be what I am. Neither can you. I...sincerly hope we find a place where we can be without humans fearing either of us.” _

You nodded, feeling his magic thrumming beneath your hand. “I hope so too.”

Grillby kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger against your skin for a moment. “ _ Now, release your magic.” _

Even if Grillby said he wasn’t scared of your power, you were afraid that something would go wrong. So, you walked a bit away from him, and then slowly, you focused on your SOUL and the overabundance of magic. Unless you used the magic, there was no way that it would naturally decrease, and you felt the strain on your body. Everything was sore, aching, and if you focused really carefully, you could feel the magic thrumming through your body beneath your skin. Dense and angry. 

Instead of immediately just expelling magic all at once, you focused on your breathing until you were calm. It took longer, but you didn’t want to risk breaking down and lashing out by accident. There were some things that the Grandmaster had taught you about magic that stayed with you, and one of them was to not let your emotions get the better of your magic. It had already happened once, and you’d be damned if it happened again.

Once you felt your heart rate evening out and the magic softening it’s thrumming, you slowly pressed your palms against the dirt. You allowed the excess magic to start softly trickling out. It wanted to lash out, dig deep and fill the earth until it was full, but you kept calm and kept in control of your magic.

Grillby waited patiently by your side as the sunset and darkness edged around the reach of his flames. 

Deep-rooted exhaustion filled your body as your eyes peeled open to finally meet his gaze. “I think that’s enough...”

Grillby hesitated, before gesturing towards his chest and then yours. You nodded, and the colours of the world bled away as your SOUL popped out. You skipped your turn and then felt the gentle tap of him checking your SOUL. His flames snapped in alarm. “You’re _ HP is low....” _

You glanced away from him, “I didn’t get any healing.”

Sparks flew from the top of his head at your admission, he swore a few times before snapping your name, “ _ Why not?” _

“I...was busy,” you gestured helplessly, sparing him again. Another tap, another check.

“ _ You don’t think you deserve healing?!”  _ he asked, voice rising, “ _ Why not?!” _

You reached up and ran your hands over your head and sighed heavily, looking away from him. If anyone else was trying to have this conversation right now, you would’ve brushed it off. You were exhausted, sore, and with each moment, you remained idle was just another moment closer to you passing out. However, this was Grillby...and he was the person you knew would be the most likely to understand you and, if not at least try to.

“There are...monsters more injured than me. Besides, monster healing doesn’t work as well on me, remember? That’s why it took so long to heal my shoulder after the arrow,” you explained as you walked over and placed your hands on his arms, rubbing them lightly. “It’s not that I think that I don’t deserve to ever be healed, it’s just that I feel like...there are others who need it more than I do.”

Grillby’s flames were still spewing sparks, “ _ Where are you injured?” _

“Uh...my nose is still broken, I think?” you murmured and then wrinkled your nose as if to prove it, a spark of pain darted up your nose, making you wince...which just made your nose hurt again. Grillby sighed, harmless sparks falling from his mouth, “ _ You are not less deserving than anyone else.” _

“Says the man who refused to get healing for his neck injury and still hasn’t gotten healing done for his whip wounds,” you retorted, no heat or anger in your voice. Grillby’s mouth opened and then snapped shut when he realized he had no response back to that. You merely gave him a gentle smile, “We’re both messes, aren’t we?”

“ _ I thought you were a delight?”  _ he said, voice getting close to teasing. He raised a hand and placed it over your face. You made a startled nose before the orange flames of his hand shifted to green. There was an almost cooling sensation to the magic, and you instantly recognized it as healing magic. That...you didn’t know he had healing magic. 

Well, most monsters were capable of some level of healing magic. Still, you didn’t think Elementals specifically had any other kind of magic beyond their elemental powers. 

Your nose hurt slightly less than it did before as he shifted his hand from covering your entire face to gently drag his finger down the length of your nose. There was slight pain, but it barely made you wince as it was more of a dull throbbing than a piercing pain. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, kissing his knuckles, making him brighten temporarily. Grillby nodded and cupped your face, he bent down and gave you a few quick pecks on the lips before nuzzling his forehead to yours.

“We’re going to get through this together, but I need you to promise me you’ll stop being so...you until this is over,” Grillby said as he straightened. 

“Being so me?” you repeated, almost crossing your arms in defence, but you didn’t want to get defensive, you were tired and just wanted to go back to the encampment and rest. Grillby placed a hand on your back and gently started leading you back.

“Self-sacrificing,” he explained, and you felt the brief flash of defensiveness fade instantly. You couldn’t be upset about that, he was right. You were incredibly self-sacrificing...and you knew that sometimes it could be a bit too...much. There was more on the line now than just your safety and happiness. All of the monsters you had met over the years had become your friends and family.

You could let your grief and anger consume you and try to isolate you from those you care about because your old motto of being alone meant you were safe. You could succumb to it, allow it to pull you down and keep you from ever getting back up. Perhaps, if there wasn’t the threat of the human army being able to chase after you and your friends...slaughtering them all, you may have allowed yourself to fall into your grief and wallow in it.

Your gaze slid over to Grillby.

Even in the darkest moments...he would always be there to guide you back from that bleak numbness. You would do your best to be the one that he could look to, to guide him the same way.

“I promise,” you said, and you meant it. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it. “I...I think...I need to rest, though.”

Grillby nodded, then bent down and scooped you up into his arms. A noise escaped your mouth, and your face flushed in embarrassment. “I can walk!”

“I want to hold you,” Grillby replied but didn’t continue walking. You exhaled softly, shoving back your embarrassment, and nodded. If you ignored your embarrassment...you just wanted to be held as well...and you noticed that your legs were quivering from exhaustion and finally being off of them. If he were to put you down, there was a chance you’d collapse anyway, and he’d still have to carry you.

Monsters smiled as you and Grillby past, but you could feel and see the sadness and grief in their gazes. Quite a few monsters reached out and touched you or Grillby in silent support. Even as they all wallowed in their own misery, they were there for one another. You couldn’t remember how the Citadel handled death...not really, but you had a feeling that it wasn’t like this.

Toriel stopped you both as you went to walk past her, she ushered Grillby a bit away from the others. “Both of you get some rest...I fear that...we sent out some scouts and from their reports, I think that the attack on the city was to flush us out. The human army is further along than they should’ve been.”

Ice washed over you, and you froze in fear and worry. Grillby’s arms tightened around you.

“You rest as well, Queen Toriel,” Grillby said, and then gave Toriel a slight head incline. Toriel squeezed your hand lightly and nodded.

“Nindree was asking for you both while I was checking on her,” she added softly.

Grillby nodded again, and Toriel released your hand. The three of you separated, with Toriel heading back to the group of Monsters she was assisting and Grillby heading in the same direction that he had been going. You didn’t say anything on Toriel’s words, and neither did Grillby. There would be time to worry about that later. If Toriel deemed it to be safe enough to rest the full night, you didn’t doubt that it would be. Though...part of you did fear waking up to a sneak attack.

Was nowhere safe anymore?

There were tents set up all over the forest. Thankfully, the city had been mostly prepped to leave when it was attacked. Nearly all the carts had been at the Northern gate, and the humans had attacked from the South. Plenty of wagons had been able to be saved and taken with the monsters as they left, which included tents and food. If not...you probably would’ve worn yourself ragged trying to hunt for all the monsters.

Grillby carried you to one of the various tents, almost indistinguishable from the others. Incendis was quietly napping with Fuku’s egg resting beside him, his flames quiet and subdued. The green tint to his flames almost grey which startled you. You hadn’t seen him in a while, either. Then your eyes caught onto Nindree and you felt guilt swirl in you.

Nindree’s scales were pale…almost grey instead of the green they usually were. Even her dark hair was almost paled in comparison. Her leg was wrapped tightly up, and if it wasn’t for the fact that she was a monster, you would’ve been relieved that there was no blood staining the fabric. You didn’t know whether or not wrapping the limb would help her at all.

There was a heaviness in the tent that reminded you starkly of the hospital back at the Citadel. There wasn’t the sharp, astringent stench of medicine, however, but that somehow didn’t make it any better. Grillby lingered by the entrance to the tent, as you watched Nindree’s chest slowly rise and fall. Her eyes were closed lightly until you allowed the flap to the tent to fall shut behind you. They slid open almost lethargically, a sharp contrast to the Nindree you knew so well.

“Hey…” she murmured, watching you closely, “where’ve you been.”

You dropped your gaze to the floor as guilt swirled in your chest.

“None of that,” she said, voice so, so quiet. “Come here.”

Grillby took the few steps to stand by her side, and slowly crouched down. He lowered you to the floor before standing up and moving over to his brother-in-bond. 

Nindree reached out and gently took your hand. Her grip was weak and her scales felt….wrong. Almost as if there was a layer of flour between your hand and hers. It almost startled you into dropping her hand as you realized  _ why _ that was. “How…how are you doing…” you asked quietly, squeezing her hand. Grillby lowered down beside you, his hand resting on your shoulder in support.

Her head dipped in the tiniest of nods, then her eyes slid closed slowly. For a moment, you panicked, the worst-case scenario flashing in your mind that she was never going to waken again. Her hand squeezed yours lightly, “m’ fine…tired.”

You swallowed thickly, tears blurring your vision as you slowly reached out and placed your free hand on the top of her head. “Please…I can’t lose any more family…” you choked out, voice thick with unshed tears. Her eyes slowly slid open as she looked up at you with almost shock. You would’ve laughed at her face in any other circumstance, but you couldn’t find it in you to laugh. So, you just smoothed some tiny baby hairs that had escaped her braids away from her scales. 

Nindree slowly nodded, “but…if you do…if I…dust” she said softly, “will you…take care of Undyne?”

A sob tore its way out of your throat, and you bent over, pressing your forehead to hers. You nodded, unable to form words through your sobbing. 

“ _ Nothing _ ’ _ s going to happen to you,”  _ Grillby insisted, “ _ you’re too stubborn to die.” _

The softest of laughs left her, which pulled out a wet laugh from you.

“You’ve got that right, Grillbz,” she replied, as cockily as she could in her exhausted, weakened state. “Even if I were to die, I’d probably come back because of my determination to kick the Grandmasters ass.”

You adjusted your position, so you were lying down beside Nindree instead of crouched up by her head. 

“Though…I may need you to pick me up so I can do so,” Nindree muttered, lifting her severed leg and waving it lightly. You winced immediately and Nindree grinned a shit-eating grin at you. “What? You're made of stuff, I’m made of magic. I hurt like a bitch when it was cut off, but now? Not a thing! Oh! Don’t humans get peg-legs when this happens? Can I get a peg-leg?”

You were honestly surprised by her mood and outlook doing an almost 180 since you had entered the tent. Though, Grillby sent you a soothing pulse, so you didn’t question the oddness too much. “Y-Yeah…they aren’t…they aren’t very good, though.”

Nindree sighed dramatically, “I can’t be Nindree the Pirate Queen then…that would’ve been rad. Hitting human ports and then disappearing into a sea of mist!”

“ _ If you become a Pirate Queen, then we can’t be related anymore,”  _ Grillby pointed out, “ _ How would I visit my sister?” _

Nindree nearly barked out a laugh, “I’ll take you with me! Give you those swimming lessons I promised you all those years ago!”

Her eyes swam with unshed tears at Grillby, referring to her as his sister. Still, neither commented, Grillby just smoothed a hand over Nindree’s head affectionately as he snarked back at her. 

Though, you felt the barb in both of their SOULs from the fresh wounds of losing some of the most important people in their life…they dissolved into bickering banter with laughter and jokes. If you didn’t know either of them very well, you’d think outwardly that they didn’t care that Nindree’s SOULmate died or that Grillby’s sister died, but you did. You knew that they were deeply hurt and mourning, but…that didn’t stop them from trying to improve the other's spirits.

They were both deeply hurt in the past, you didn’t know Nindree’s and you had a feeling you’d never learn it at this point, but they got through it together.

There was a chance that anyone of you could die tomorrow, but for now? For now, you'd spend what time you could with your family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate coming up with chapter titles why did I start naming chapters back when I first wrote this.
> 
> Anyway! Hope you enjoyed the chapter you lovely people you~!


	30. Nothing To Do But Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** There is some experimentation on the human SOUL in this chapter. If you want to skip it, it's between "It's not about owing." and "Grillby would have felt that,"

Scouts had been sent out to see how close the human army was, and you were stuck sitting on your hands and waiting. It was maddening. It felt as if _something_ should be happening! Whether that was moving camp someplace further from the mountain, or heading towards the sea already. However, you logically knew that it would be tough to move so many injured or Dusting monsters. As well, it would be even more impossible to be able to change direction quickly with so many civilians.

The thought alone of being overwhelmed by the human army sent a jolt of panic through your body.

You felt coiled like a snake ready to strike…but there was nothing to release the energy out to.

To say that you hadn't had moments where the control of your magic slipped would be a downright lie. Thankfully, all the monsters bearing witness to those moments were sympathetic about it. Grillby would, also, always make sure to encourage you to go on a short walk and just release some of your magic out into the world. 

There was something therapeutic about that, honestly. Just walking and allowing your magic to seep into the soil, into the air, and out into the world.

However, sometimes...your mind would feel as if it was overflowing with thoughts. Completely unable to grasp any of them and just focus. It was awful and maddening. You _needed to do something._ Before, you ultimately burst or lost control again.

On one such walk, you spotted a familiar face before Gaster ducked into one of the many tents dotting the woods. Chewing on your lip, you debated heavily if you should go after him. Then a small voice reminded you that you _had_ offered to let him examine your SOUL. Would there be any other chance? There was a chance that your life could be cut short. There was a chance that he could be Dusted. 

It didn't matter, you realized. Part of you did want to see how he was holding up. Other monsters who had lost SOULmates were in the process of Dusting, and many of them wouldn't be able to pull themselves together again. There wasn't enough Hope...not after the absolute slaughter.

So, you headed over with less hesitation.

You called his name outside of his tent, and the flap opened.

Gaster looked...awful.

He was usually well dressed, standing straight, and with his hands tucked politely in front of his body. Now? His shirt was unbuttoned, his cloak was missing, and he was slouching, supporting Sans with two hands while another held open the flap. His eye lights were gone as well, but when they spotted you, they flickered back to life.

"Ah! Lionheart!" he said, voice lacking it's normal...depth. You couldn't place it, but there was something off about his voice.

"Gaster," you replied, keeping your voice as light as possible. 

"Come in," Gaster stepped aside, and another hand appeared to gesture into the tent. 

The inside of the tent looked as if a windstorm had swept through. Parchment was everywhere, and a small makeshift table was covered with books, parchment, and empty vials. Gaster dropped the flap behind you and walked a few steps away to clear some spaces for the two of you to sit. 

Sans wriggled free, and immediately clung to your leg, and you saw Gaster's face temporarily fall. You bent down and scooped Sans up into your arms. "hi," he murmured shyly, before idly playing with your hair curiously.

"I'd offer you something to eat or drink, but..." Gaster gestured vaguely at his tent, and for a moment he looked lost.

"It's fine," you quickly assured, "I...Gaster...can I ask you a favour?"

He looked up at your curiously, straightening ever so slightly. A beat passed, and then his eye lights flicked to the ground, "You avenged Vivaldi...I owe-"

"You owe me nothing," you quickly interrupted, reaching a hand out to grab his shoulder and squeezed. It was a touch disconcerting to not feel anything substantial beneath your hand beyond a bony joint. You allowed your words to sink in before adding, "I don't know the spell that Mage used, I should have been more prepared."

Gaster's face turned curious once more, "Surely, you can't know every spell out there."

"I know-"

"Or could you?" Gaster interrupted, "Do you think that you could create a spell that allows you to learn any spell you see? What is the extent of human magic? You are stronger than us, and are able to learn spells much easier and faster..."

He didn't end there, and you allowed him to ramble curiously. It was a distraction, you realized, and possibly how Gaster was able to avoid Dusting. You wondered if you should offer your shoulder for him to cry on...you didn't see many others around him providing support. However, you were afraid that bringing up Vivaldi and encouraging him to mourn would make him Dust...and you didn't know what would happen to Sans if that happened.

So, you allowed him to distract himself.

"Oh! Sorry." Gaster dropped the hand that was stroking at his chin, "You wished to ask a favour?"

You nodded, "I promised you that I'd let you study my SOUL, but can...can, you promise _me_ something?"

Gaster paused, tilting his head curiously. "I don't know what _I_ could offer _you..._ but I'll do my best."

" _If_ there is another fight like....like that...and I get...I don't know, captured...or...or killed. Can...can you stop Grillby from doing something stupid and trying to save or avenge me?" you asked, adjusting Sans in your grip. You felt...judged by Sans, and you couldn't understand why.

"I cannot control flames...no one can," Gaster said, almost cautiously. "I think I'd be risking my life if I did anything to attempt to stop him."

Your eyes dropped to the ground, "I figured-"

"But you saved my life countless times, I suppose it is yours now."

"No!" you blurted out, eyes snapping up to his, "Your life is your own."

Gaster shrugged his shoulders, "I owe a great deal to you, Lionheart. So, if Grillby tries to avenge you. I will do whatever is in my power to stop him. Besides, my hands are immune to temperature."

That surprised you, and you saw one of his hands move close to the candle burning on the desk and hovered over the lit end. Gaster didn't even flinch or make a noise when the hand drifted back over and presented you with its palm you saw that there was blackened soot, but it was wiped away clean by another hand.

"That's handy," you said, and Sans instantly broke into giggles against your side. Gaster snorted, a bittersweet look washing over his face. You blinked, "What?"

"Nothing, my dear," he waved a hand before two hands plucked Sans from your gasp and sat him down at the desk. Another hand pulled a book from the desk and set it out in front of Sans, who instantly started flipping through it curiously. "Are you sure you still wish for me to examine your SOUL? You do not owe me anything..."

"It's not about owing," you clarified, "If you think examining my SOUL will be able to help monsterkind in any way...then examine away."

Neither of you mentioned just how much trust you were putting in Gaster's hands by revealing your SOUL to him to study. Gaster did seem to hesitate before he lifted a hand and your SOUL emerged from the center of your chest. His head tilted and he hummed. "I thought you would be more of a Determination Red person," he admitted as hands began writing down notes on a piece of parchment. "Or a Justice Yellow."

You barely registered Gaster's voice as he began to quietly ramble his observations to himself... you were too busy staring at your dulled SOUL.

"It was brighter," you whispered almost softly, reaching out and touching your SOUL gently. Gaster's rambling cut off, and he leaned forward.

"It was brighter?" he parroted, "How much brighter?"

Your eyes didn't leave the SOUL, "It used to glow..."

"Curious," he murmured, "It is Perservance Purple...perhaps you are losing your trait? Would that be like Dusting for monsters? That's obviously not an experiment I wish to carry out, for obvious reasons. Are you losing your resolve to carry forward, perhaps?"

You didn't respond, and Gaster didn't make any more commentary, as if he was waiting for you to say something. Though...you really didn't know why your SOUL was muted...if Nindree wasn't so weak right now, you might've asked her. She seemed to know more about SOULs than the usual monster because of who she was. Though, you kept your thoughts to yourself.

"I don't know enough about human SOULs as of yet to tell you why...I apologize," Gaster murmured, "your SOUL is fundamentally human, however, and you aren't made of Dust? So what makes you a Halfling?"

"That's because it's in 'human mode,'" you said, almost joking in the way you said it. You attempted to flip it around but it refused. "Ah... can't change into my monster form when my SOUL is exposed? If you shove it back in, I'll switch over."

His brow bones came together slightly, but he gently eased your SOUL back into your chest. You closed your eyes and focused on shifting your SOUL around, your skin hardened, and when you opened your eyes, you looked over at Gaster. His brow bones were even more drawn together, but then he clapped two of his hands together.

"Monster SOULs are bound to our bodies! The only time our SOULs can leave is during reproduction or to bond. A human SOUL is not bound to their physical body, so it would make sense that your SOUL would adapt based on your physical form. If you're killed in this form, would you Dust?" his voice slowly went from excited, to curious, to mumbling. His eye lights flicked over to, and then he quickly added, "Again, another thing I won't experiment with for obvious reasons."

You switched your SOUL back, and Gaster withdrew it once more. There were fewer questions now as he examined your SOUL and did some tests that you ignored. Instead, you focused on Sans, who had quickly abandoned his book for a much more exciting situation. You had to hold onto his hands to prevent them from grabbing at your SOUL, you knew he wouldn't intend to hurt you, but he was also still a child. Too much pressure on your SOUL by accident could really hurt...and pain would bring Grillby...who you hadn't told that you'd be letting Gaster poke and prod at your SOUL today.

You were amazed that Grillby somehow hadn't figured out what you were doing and made his way over yet.

Gaster babbled throughout the entire time. You had initially thought that you'd feel like the monsters at the Citadel had felt when they were being experimented on. Still, Gaster never made you feel anywhere close to that. He always asked you if you were physically okay, interjecting the question in the middle of sentences, or clarifying that you were still okay with the situation as a whole. Any discomfort was quickly soothed with apologies and questions. 

Which just made you think of what would have happened if the Grandmaster hadn't been in charge? What if there had been a peace treaty years ago between monsters and humans that prevented unwanted testing? You had a feeling that monsters and mages would have learned so much more about magic together, with no deaths or failed experiments because of the openness between the two species.

It just made you angry to think of what could have been.

Gaster had fallen quiet while you were consumed with your own thoughts, staring at Sans, who had now moved to examine the already full page of notes that Gaster had written. You saw his eye lights flick to a pouch off to the side, which you recognized as the one Gaster had put Viv's Dust into.

"There...is one thing that I wish to try, but it will hurt," Gaster spoke up, looking away from his late SOULmate to look at you with an almost cryptic look to his face. Your brows drew together slightly.

"How...much?" you asked, "and why?"

"Long term testing," he explained quietly, "and I'm not sure how much. I've never experimented on a human SOUL before like this."

You pursed your lips before nodding. "I trust you."

That seemed to surprise him, but then he gave you a rare smile, "Thank you, truly..."

Gaster dug into a bag off to the side before pulling out a thing of rolled leather. You watched curiously as he placed it on the desk and unrolled it, revealing some tools inside. He put together a syringe, and you watched warily as he straightened and met your gaze. "I wish to see if I can extract some magic."

You stayed silent for a moment, a brief shoot of panic darting through your body, but you squashed it down.

"Best case scenario, you can, and it hurts. Worst case scenario, it feels like I got stabbed?" you asked, voice tighter than you meant it. Gaster nodded.

"If I apply healing magic at the same time, it should numb the effect. Theoretically," Gaster added the last bit a touch hesitantly. 'You can still refuse to allow me to do this."

You chewed that over before swallowing thickly. "Go ahead."

One of his hands gently surrounded your SOUL and started glowing green, it sent a wash of calm over you and Gaster stepped a bit closer. Very gently, he placed the needle against your SOUL and then pressed it in.

Sharp, burning pain flashed over your entire body, but it was instantly smothered by the healing magic.

Grillby would've felt that.

Though, the worry of your SOULmate bursting into Gaster's tent washed away as you watched as the syringe filled with red magic. Gaster removed the needle and continued to apply healing magic to your SOUL as he examined the magic curiously. "I thought it would be purple?" he hummed before picking up a vial and transferring the magic into the vial instead. He put a cork on top and swirled the vial curiously.

"Grillby would have felt that," you murmured as Gaster returned your SOUL to your chest.

Gaster merely nodded, "That is why I waited until I had no other observations or questions."

You rubbed at your chest as Gaster carefully tucked away the vial into his bag and started putting away the tools. Sans watched carefully and curiously as his father delicately tidied up the desk. Neither of you spoke for an extended period, but then you reached out and touched his shoulder once more.

"I'm sorry."

At first, he didn't react to your words at all, but then his shoulders began to shake. You didn't have platitudes to offer him beyond that, and you knew that even if you had anything to say...it wouldn't matter. Gaster refused to turn to look at you, and you kept your hand on his shoulder as he shook.

The flap to his tent opened, and the tent grew almost unbearably hot.

You glanced over your shoulder at Grillby, who was a touch darker than usual. He glanced between you and Gaster before his flames brightened ever so slightly. "What's _going on?"_ he asked, stepping into the tent. " _You were hurt."_

It briefly crossed your mind to brush off his question, answer him later, or something, but Gaster turned around with a determined look on his face. "I was experimenting with her SOUL."

You immediately saw and _felt_ Grillby's fury. His flames darkened, and he stepped forward, " _Experimenting? She is not one of your subjects to be poked and prodded, Wingdings."_

"I offered," you quickly clarified, stepping towards him and effectively planting yourself between him and Gaster. While you didn't think Grillby would dare harm Gaster, you also didn't want to risk the two of them provoking each other. It always seemed like there was history between the two of them that they never brought up...something that made them not particularly fond of each other on a day-to-day basis. 

" _Why?"_ Grillby asked, completely bewildered by your admission. He shook his head and extended his hand towards you, you took it, and stepped closer to him. His grip was a bit warmer than usual, but nothing even close to painful. You squeezed his hand, and he immediately gave a gentle squeeze back.

Gaster spoke before you could, "SOUL magic could make or break this war."

" _She is one being, Wingdings. I will not allow you to use her SOUL to fight a war_ ," Grillby said, straightening up defensively and tugging lightly on your hand to pull you closer. You frowned.

"What if her sacrifice wins us the war?" Gaster asked.

The question sent a chilly spike down your back, but you were much more concerned about how _dark and hot_ Grillby became. His grip grew almost painfully hot, and you quickly shifted to your rocky form and placed your other hand on his chest as he took a step forward.

"I was not threatening her safety. After all, she has done for me, I could, and would, never cause her death," Gaster promised, straightening and then added, "Besides, I think we all know that if the only way for us to win the war was for her to give up her SOUL. She'd do it without hesitation."

Grillby just grew angrier at Gaster's words, and you finally snapped. "I'd appreciate it if you both stopped talking as if I'm not here. There's no way that one SOUL could make or break a war of this magnitude," you said, giving him a hopefully encouraging and calming look. Grillby's anger didn't fade at all.

"We'll see," Gaster muttered, and then added, "I thank you again, Lionheart, for all you've done for me."

Grillby waited until you said your goodbyes to both Gaster and Sans before giving a light tug on your hand. You led him out of the tent and glanced around. The day had long since faded into the night without you realizing it. Grillby allowed you to look around, just standing beside you and holding your hand. Once you began moving, he followed after and didn't speak.

The anger that was festering in his SOUL was slowly fading, but you were slowly drowning in your own thoughts.

What....what if Gaster was right? What _if_ your SOUL could make or break this war? What if your sacrifice could save hundreds of monster's lives? Grillby had made you promise to not be self-sacrificing...and you didn't want to go back on that promise at all, but there was also the factor that you didn't know if you could just...let hundreds die to save yourself. 

Years ago, you might've said that the chances that an individual's actions could never amount to anything in a war...but over the past handful of years? You realized that the actions of a single person _could_ change the way things happened. While you wouldn't take sole credit for anything you've done over the years, you knew that many monsters viewed you as the person able to do the impossible.

Though you didn't view what you did as impossible at all, perhaps that was it? 

Impossible for one person could be an average day for another.

You glanced at Grillby from the corner of your eyes and realized that regardless of whether you'd want to or not...you wouldn't leave Grillby alone. You couldn't. Not after his sisters death, and with Nindree on the brink of either Dusting or pulling through? If you sacrificed yourself, you feared that Nindree wouldn't make it, and Grillby wouldn't be able to pull himself through to keep his promise to Nindree to raise Undyne.

No. You wouldn't go out of your way to sacrifice yourself, and you wouldn't offer yourself either. 

You had people to live for.

"Ah! Lionheart!" Gerson's voice broke through your thoughts, and you glanced up as he hobbled his way over, portraying a much stiffer and elderly monster than how you knew he could act. You smiled softly.

"Hey Ger," you greeted in response, clapping his shoulder.

"How're ya holdin' up there, kiddo?" he asked, and then peered up at Grillby, "What bout ya too, hot stuff?"

Grillby huffed a bit, " _As well as I can._ "

"Agreed, how about you, Gerson?" you asked, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Hurts ta see so many young monsters Dustin'," he muttered, "but nothin' you nor me could do but Hope."

"Hope is in short supplies these days," you replied, voice at the same level as his. Gerson reached over and tousled your hair with a grin.

"Youngin's like ya should have plenty of blind Hope. 'Sides, if ya don't have Hope for the future, how am I supposed ta see what a combustible kid looks like? Yer the one that got my Hopes up about seeing that!" Gerson teased, and you felt like your face was on fire. 

"We've got to get through this war first," you muttered, pushing his hand away from your head.

Gerson grew uncharacteristically solemn as he looked over the camp, "That we do...that...we do." His eye flicked back over to you and then slid up to Grillby. "You two kids enjoy what time you can with each other. Never know when the last time you'll be able to hold each other."

You pressed your lips together, and then released Grillby's hand to pull Gerson into a tight hug. "Who allowed you to be the depressing pessimist," you muttered as he patted your back comfortingly.

"Wasn't sayin' that you'll lose each other, but it could be a long time before you can enjoy each other's time together. Not 'till we're safe again," he replied back easily and then ended the hug a lot sooner than you wanted. "Now! Come along, we've got a meeting ta attend."

You frowned, "a meeting?"

"King Asgore's requested I gather everyone up. Turns out there's been a development," Gerson explained, the subtle shift in his tone and way of speaking sent a jolt of anxiety through you. You exchanged a look with Grillby, who sought your hand immediately and gave it a squeeze. 

"What happened?" you asked, and Gerson started hobbling away.

"Scouts came back," he said, giving you a vague non-answer. Grillby and your SOULs both gave off a flash of surprise at the same time.

The scouts shouldn't have been back yet.

The only reason they'd be back already was if…they found the location of the human army. They'd left only a day and a half ago. 

"That's impossible," you blurted out, grabbing Gerson's arm and making him stop. "Did one of them get hurt?"

When Gerson shook his head, your blood turned to ice.

"We're surrounded." 


	31. The Last Night

Asgore looked as distressed as you felt when you entered the large main tent where the monster monarchy was set up. Nindree was already there, sitting on a chair with Undyne resting in her lap. Gaster was standing off to the side, with Sans napping in his arms. You pressed your lips together tightly and moved over to stand beside Nindree. She gave you a strained smile, her fingers stroking over Undyne's shell.

Quietly, you murmured your father's name, and you felt his presence rather than saw it. A quick glance behind you confirmed that he was standing behind you. You gave him a tense smile and turned back to the others.

Grillby's hand hadn't left yours and squeezed gently as Asgore looked at each monster in the tent.

There were too few.

"The scouts returned," he announced quietly, too quietly considering his towering presence. "The human army is blocking our fastest route to the ocean. Our…only route to the ocean, if we wish to take what's left of our people with us. We could attempt another route…but transporting all our injured would be impossible considering the steepness of the mountain. I considered terraforming the earth as we went. Unfortunately, that would draw too much attention considering how close they are. Not to mention, the magic requirements would be too high to both make a path for ourselves and block the way for anyone following."

"So, what's the plan then? Roll over and die?" Nindree muttered, her voice tense and almost resigned in a way. 

The King was quiet for a while, but then he shook his head slowly. "I…I have spoken with Toriel…and we have come up with a plan. She will take the injured and those who cannot or will not fight into the mountain. They will block the passage into the mountain and use the old mining tunnels to come out on the other side of the mountain. It will add over a month to their travels…but they will have a _chance_."

"What about the rest of us?" you spoke up, grip tightening slightly on Grillby's hand.

Asgore wouldn't meet anyone's gaze and just stared at the ground. It was Toriel who spoke, "Those who wish to stay and fight will be distractions. If it comes down to it, pretend that the rest of us have already passed on."

No one spoke up immediately, and you felt the wave of…resignation ebb from those in the tent. You closed your eyes, pressing your lips together tightly. It was…suicide to stay and fight. Even if the mountainous terrain would give the monsters better odds…the human army had countless bodies to send wave after wave. They could burn the forest down. They could summon all the Mages from the Citadel if they had to.

There was no winning this war.

If you could even call it a war.

Genocide was probably a better term.

"There are roughly two hundred monsters left. Only fifty can, and have volunteered, to stay and fight," Gerson reported, all the spunk and joviality in his voice was gone. Just an empty shell of a monster. He was torn up about this, just as you were. It was painful to hear his voice like that. He continued, "Though if they will is another question. They witnessed the brutality of the human army once already. Hope is an important part of fighting…if you don't have hope, then you're less likely to fight to the end."

Asgore covered his face with a hand and sat down slowly in the chair behind him. Toriel reached over and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, leaning down and pressing her forehead to the side of his head. 

"Does anyone have any other…suggestions?" Asgore asked quietly, "Maybe one of you can see something we overlooked? I don't want to lead my people into a fight we cannot win."

"Why don't we all go into the mountain?" Gaster asked, "Seal up the exit, so the army thinks we merely vanished."

"Mages can sense magic," you murmured, voice barely able to be heard over Grillby's ambient crackling. Your eyes flicked up to meet Asgore's, "If one of the human generals suspects that we didn't just 'vanish'…they'll bring in Mages. You can look at them like glorified bloodhounds," the bitterness in your voice didn't surprise you as much as you thought it might've.

"There should be enough ambient magic in the air from those who Fell Down to cover up our escape if we find a way to tunnel down close enough to the camp," Gaster pointed out.

"Though, we then risk _more_ Mages being brought in, I can barely hold my own against one," you said, muttering the last part mostly to yourself. Grillby's hand squeezed yours, and you saw Gaster's face shift to almost sympathy. Instead of lingering on that note, you quickly suggested, "Or, I could do what I did for the other villages and trick the human army into thinking we did go a more difficult way."

"Except, the human army would potentially comb the mountain," Gerson said. He settled down in one of the other chairs as if his shell had grown fifty pounds heavier just standing. "They'll figure out either way that no monsters left this mountain. I don't particularly want to be stuck’n the mountain for the humans to hunt for sport."

You had the thought of the human army sending in war dogs after the monsters, but instantly dismissed that idea. Even if the humans did, the Guard Dogs had a way with the non-magic variety. They could talk them down from attacking and switch their allegiance with promises of pets and treats.

A few ideas were tossed around, but holes were punched in all of them. All plans suggested had risks associated with them, so the goal was to limit the number of casualties. You tried to find _any_ option that involved _not_ going into the mountain…there was just something…not sitting right with you about that. 

Then again, you had a bad feeling about this entire scenario.

When no new ideas came forward…Asgore sighed, "I shall tell our people the plan then. We will move the civilians into the mountain _tonight_. I won't risk the humans once again attacking at night."

The meeting was adjourned, with Asgore asking for just a few moments to spend with his wife before he announced anything. Grillby easily helped Nindree to stand and supported her. You murmured to Grillby that you'd catch up with them at the tent, you just wanted…no needed to speak to Druhim first. He kissed your forehead and headed off with Nindree. 

" _What do you wish to speak of?"_ Druhim asked, following after you towards the forest. You stopped just within the edge and turned towards him.

"This is suicide," you murmured softly, crossing your arms.

" _I cannot argue with that,"_ he said gently, crouching down in front of you.

"And if I die…you die forever," you said, looking at his gem-like eyes, "and if I don't die? If…If the Grandmaster somehow kidnaps me? Then what? I doubt he'll be able to manipulate my mind as well as before, and he's less likely to just…ask to study me."

" _My little moon. I wish you did not have to view your future in such poor light. If there were options I could give you that would have you living with your SOULmate and those whom you have found and become your family..I would tell you. But I am not your Da, I am not Chief. I cannot tell the future in such terms, though I wish I could. Do know, however, that I will be by your side no matter what happens. You are my daughter, and I love you with all my SOUL. Now, stop talking to this old rock and go be with the monster you love, for you do not know when the last time you will see him will be,"_ Druhim reached out, a giant finger brushing against your cheek. You didn't feel it. You never felt it…but you wanted to, and your mind allowed you to pretend that you could feel the gentle touch.

"Thank you…Papa…I love you too," you murmured, leaning over and pressing a kiss against his cheek. "I wish I could've known you and Da both better…"

" _There is nothing I wish for more in this world than that,"_ Papa softly murmured, before the vision of him in front of you blinked out. 

The walk to the tent was quiet and reflective. You really didn't want to fight…you would rather flee, but you knew Grillby would stay and fight.

If he stayed, you would too. You wouldn't let him be alone in this.

You entered the tent and saw Ignatius sitting up for the first time since the attack on the village. You gave him what you hoped was a warm smile. It was all you could do. Grillby and Ignatius were quietly talking to each other, but in a language that neither you nor Nindree could understand. You'd only seen the elementals use it once or twice. Still, it was an almost beautiful form of communication as it was entirely _just_ their flames. 

Nindree slammed her fist into her thigh, glaring at the opposite side of the tent. Her head tilted towards you, "I won't be fighting. Not that I could even if I wanted to…but I won't let Undyne grow up without a parent if I can help it, and since you two are going to fight because of course you are… I'm not risking it."

You shifted closer, rested your hand on her shoulder, and murmured, "I understand."

"I would be right there to the bitter end if I could. Show you two how to really kick human ass," she continued on as if you hadn't spoken. "If anyone can survive this, though, it's you two…so come back to me in one peace? Got it??? I gotta introduce Undyne to their aunt and uncle!!!"

You traded a look with Grillby, but he said nothing, just looked away from Nindree.

"Whatever you say, Nindree," you murmured, making no such promises. Her dark eyes met yours finally and you saw tears swimming in them.

"I'd fight if I could…I would," she said, voice soft.

Grillby leaned down and pulled her into a tight hug. " _You do what you need for your family…and protect those who cannot fight for themselves."_

"I feel like I'm betraying you," Nindree muttered, arms tight around his neck. "Leaving you to fight alone, yeah, I know that you're not actually alone…but you're not with me. We haven't not fought alongside each other since you got kidnapped. I gotta keep you alive, you flame ball."

"You're _not, I…"_ Grillby continued, but his voice was too quiet for you to hear. You looked away to give them privacy as they spoke to each other quietly. 

Ignatius was quietly stroking Fuku's Egg and glancing at his meagre belongings. You saw resolute determination in his eyes spark, and his flames grew a bit brighter. It was…almost heartwarming to see if the circumstances weren't so dire. His eyes met yours, and you attempted a smile, but you weren't feeling it. 

Still, he returned it, so you at least got the point behind the smile across.

Grillby pulled away from Nindree then and moved over to his satchel. The small number of things that he had managed to get out of the village during the attack. He reached inside with both hands and withdrew your recipe book, he smoothed a hand over it and then glanced over at you. You nodded slightly, and he turned towards Nindree again.

" _I know you can't cook to save your own life…but you're little one is going to need_ someone _to cook for them,"_ he teased before holding out the book towards her. Tears started overflowing from her eyes, and she started wiping at them aggressively.

"You bastard! Making me cry!!" she choked out before taking the cookbook almost delicately and hugging it to her chest. "I hope you translated all of her recipes! Or I won't get any use out of more than half of these!"

"Come on, Nindree. You're not up for the challenge of learning how to read human languages?" you teased, but you could tell your heart wasn't into teasing.

"ONLY If you're the one teaching me! SO you better come back alive!" she threatened again, shaking the book at you lightly. "Someone's gotta teach me how to read!"

Grillby chuckled before moving back over to his bag and handed it over to Ignatius. They communicated privately once more before Ignatius tucked Fuku into her satchel and walked over to Nindree's side. "Maybe we can figure out a peg leg for you while we wait for them to come back," Ignatius' said, voice quiet and soft, but with just a hint of teasing that Nindree smacked him lightly before carefully tucking the recipe book into her bag and Undyne into a separate satchel. 

You and Grillby followed the two of them to the gathering monsters.

There was a heavy presence as monsters hugged each other and told them they would be Hoping that they found each other again. Quite a few civilian monsters hugged you, which surprised you, but you allowed it. 

Nindree pulled you into a final hug, and you clung to her as tightly as you could, which just urged her arms to tighten around you until you could barely breathe…but you voiced no complaints. If you were going to die, you still wanted to be able to feel her hug. You fully intended to hug Ignatius and Toriel just as tightly when it came to their turn.

"Look after him, and yourself," Nindree muttered, hoisting you up off the ground as her hug tightened _just_ that much more. Both Ignatius and Grillby held out supportive hands to keep the two of you stable.

"I will. If it's within my power…I will make sure he survives this," you whispered back to her.

"Nothing's in our power anymore," Nindree grumped back before plopping you back onto the ground. "BUT! I fully expect you to keep your word regardless!!!"

You couldn't help but snort, "I'll do my best."

"NO! Unacceptable!! Your best is pretty freaking good, but I want you to put your all into it!" she put her hands on her hips, looking every bit as intimidating as she could with tears in her eyes that she was furiously blinking back. "You gotta meet Undyne! Help me teach that punk some manners!"

" _Someone has to,"_ Grillby muttered just loud enough to be heard by Nindree, she squawked and started going off at him in a language you didn't understand. He easily sidestepped an angry swat of her hand. 

You reach out to still her angry gesticulations, and she blinked down at you curiously. Then a suspicious look crossed her face, and she opened her mouth to probably quip something, but you beat her to the punch. "You'll always be my best friend, Nindree."

That did it, the tears she'd been furiously keeping back erupted and she buried her face into her hand and sobbed. Grillby stepped up and pulled her into a tight hug and, resting his forehead against the side of her head. You rubbed at her arms as she blubbered about how dare you make her cry! She was trying to be strong!!! She didn't want the last time you saw her to be of her crying. 

"We're all crying, it's fine," you murmured, cheeks wet with your own tears.

She ruffled your hair.

You never did remember to trim it.

Toriel sought you out when the tears stopped flowing and pulled you into a hug. You hugged her back tightly, searching for _something_ to say to her. You couldn't just…not. Yet, you couldn't find anything that felt…right. Toriel stepped back, large paws settling on your shoulders, "I wish there were a better way."

"It's alright," you replied back, giving false platitudes. None of the monsters who were heading into the mountain needed any more guilt resting on their shoulders. You wouldn't let any of them know just how…scared you were. If they weren't able to tell now, you weren't going to let them know. Her large eyes searched your face before nodding, her cheeks damp with her own tears. Toriel squeezed your shoulders before turning towards Grillby and surprisingly hugged him. Grillby merely patted her back softly and told her to be safe.

Gaster stepped up to you with Sans in his arms and told you to be safe before moving away.

After a moment more of lingering…the large group of monsters was gone. Down into the depths of the mountain. You and a few of the monsters going with the civilians shifted the rock, so it blocked the way, and as the last rock settled…the reality of the situation hit you.

Your hands shook slightly as you turned back to those who stayed. You, Asgore, Gerson, and Grillby remained. You wished there were more of you…but at the same time you were glad there wasn't. More meant more to die, after all. Especially against a force as powerful as the human army.

Asgore's face was grim, and you could almost tell that he was struggling to hold the weight of the entire future of monster kind on his shoulders. He was young, by Boss Monster standards at least…and he had no one to guide him on how to be a ruler. Gerson was the only one older than him, but you knew that Gerson wouldn't have any tips on how to rule. He might be a wise old turtle, but he wasn't a leader. 

Gerson looked aged and worn, even older than his ancient appearance already looked. The hopelessness that hung over the now much emptier camp was oppressive. It felt like a physical weight on each of the monsters left behind.

Grillby was the only one who was good at hiding his inner despair, but you felt it as clear as day. 

"I'll cast a perimeter spell," you spoke, voice soft but still managing to sound like thunder in the quiet despondent air. Asgore's eyes lifted from the floor to look down at you. There was a bleakness in his gaze that you refused to acknowledge. 

"Thank you, Lionheart," he said, "Take Grillby with you in case."

You inclined your head, and as you passed by Gerson, you reached out and patted his shoulder. He gave you as warm as a smile as he could muster before you headed into the forest. Grillby followed dutifully behind you.

Neither of you spoke as you etched runes into various surfaces in a large circle about the camp. It would give the camp at least a thirty-minute warning if any of the human army interrupted the magic between each rune. It was something, at the very least. Honestly, after the last time you knew the monsters needed every single second, they could get to prepare for an attack.

By the time you got back, night had fallen entirely, and the remaining monsters sat gathered around a fire pit in the center of the tents. A few were milling about around the edge of the camp, clearly too nervous to sit and stare at a fire. Though, none of the monsters looked like they wanted to even attempt to sleep.

Gerson spotted you and gestured to the spot beside him. You glanced back at Grillby, and he tilted his head down in a nod. You shared a quiet look with him...while you wanted some time alone with him...you felt like it was admitting that it was the last time you could potentially have some alone time.

As you sat down, a few monsters gave you tired and strained smiles before turning to look back at the fire. Grillby sat down beside you, wrapping an arm around you and gently squeezed your arm.

Some of these monsters were the very same you had sat with back at the city to jovially joke about various things between reinforcing the wall. The same monsters who you had known since the very beginning, the ones who had lived in the city since well behind it was even a city. Back when it was just a village.

It broke your heart that they were silent.

Yet...what could you say? You couldn't find any jokes that would be in good taste, you couldn't find a topic that wouldn't just dwindle away or relate to the current situation. Your mind was blank of ideas.

Gerson handed Grillby a log across you, and as Grillby found a good spot to place the wood, Gerson started humming. The sound was light-hearted and filled the night air. Other monsters perked up at the noise, turning to look at him curiously. You didn't recognize the melody, but a handful of the other monsters did. They joined in, humming, whistling, and one even started singing. It was a song about two monsters in charge of guarding a tree. You didn't really pay attention to the lyrics, because you were too busy watching as slowly the once anxiety-ridden, helpless bunch of monsters slowly started to relax. The songs easily switched from one to another with barely a pause between them, other monsters using their voices or thumping on nearby surfaces to give off the illusion of instruments behind whoever was singing.

During a pause between songs, Gerson nudged you. "How bout you, Lionheart? Ya got any human songs?"

Monsters looked at you curiously, but the reminder of 'human' didn't seem to phase their current mood.

"Uh...I know a few? Most of them are drinking songs I learned," you said with a wary smile.

"Drinking song?" Wei asked, moving closer to the fire, you hadn't noticed him earlier. Surprising, considering his size. "How does it go?"

You felt your cheeks heat at being put in the center of attention, and you cleared your throat, warning the monsters that you didn't know if you had a good singing voice or not. Also that you probably wouldn't remember all the words to the song. Still, as you sang, monsters seemed to pick up on the beat, and even if they didn't know the lyrics, they made up the music behind the words happily. It was clear they were all content just to focus on something other than what tomorrow would bring.

It cycled around like that a few times, monsters singing their songs, you singing a drinking song, and just random humming, whistling, or drumming.

It was well past midnight by the time the mood started to somber again, and then Grillby surprised you by singing. It wasn't just surprising that he was singing, but it was the fact that he was singing a song that was so familiar to you. The lullaby your Da used to sing to you. You sang along quietly, and you felt surprise from Grillby as well.

It was even later when Asgore finally encouraged the fighters to head off to sleep and ordered a change of those on lookout.

You felt a touch lighter as you headed over to your tent, but as the flap closed behind Grillby...that lightheartedness fell completely. The reality of the situation returning to you. You might never see Nindree, Ignatius, Toriel, Sans, Gaster...any of them ever again. You might die tomorrow. Grillby could die tomorrow. Neither of you could die, but that didn't mean you would see the others again. Who knew what would happen.

"How'd _you know that song?"_ Grillby asked quietly, removing his cape and pauldrons. 

You helped him with the clasps that kept his breastplate on and murmured, "My father used to sing it to me. Da, that is."

"Must've _learned it from Druhim then,"_ Grillby said, almost absentmindedly as he placed his armour within arms reach of the bedroll you and Grillby shared. He placed his sword right next to the bed and glanced about the tent worriedly.

"Why, what is it?" you asked, fiddling with your own armour clasps, wondering if you should bother taking it off. Your armour wasn't metal like his, made out of stiff cured leather. A pain to sleep in, but you'd slept in more uncomfortable situations than next to your SOULmate in stiff leather. Grillby reached over, placing his hand over yours, a flash of question through your connection. "Haven't decided yet," you murmured in response to his unvoiced question.

" _My father would sing it while working at the forge. It's a work song,"_ Grillby replied, quietly, and then his hands left you as he sat on the bedroll heavily and rubbed at his face. You crouched down in front of him, taking his hands and pressing kisses to his knuckles.

"Do you think your parents would've liked me?" you asked quietly, staring at the flames dancing across his skin. 

" _If my mother and Druhim knew each other, I think she would've been delighted. My father would probably have respected you and would've tried to teach you how to work a forge before he even figured out that we were SOULmates,"_ Grillby said, squeezing your hands back before lifting one to tilt your head up to look at him. " _They would've adored you, as I do."_

You closed the distance to kiss him in favour of answering.

Much later, as the two of you laid down to rest, Grillby pressed a kiss against your throat, making you huff a very small sleepy laugh as his flames tickled. You felt him smile against your skin, and then he pulled away to look at you.

"Grillby, I-"

_"I lo-"_

Both of you had started to speak at the same time and stopped immediately. Grillby kissed the corner of your mouth, " _Sorry, you first."_

You reached up to brush your fingers against his cheek. 

"Grillby, I want you to promise me something," you said, searching his gaze. He nodded.

" _Anything._ "

"If...I get captured...or killed...I don't...I don't want you to get...promise me that you won't do something stupid," you cupped his face with both hands, "please. I couldn't...I don't want you to do something and get hurt because of me."

He didn't respond right away, his eyes searching your face for something. Then he shook his head, " _No. I can't promise that._ "

"Please," you begged, "Put your people first."

Grillby's flames darkened slightly, and you felt a wave of irritated anger flash through the connection. ".... **you** are part of my people."

The fact that he chose to say that in your language instead of his didn't go unnoticed by you. You huffed, "You know what I mean."

" _I don't think I do."_

"Grillby..."

" _If you die, I_ **_will_ ** _avenge you. If you're taken? I will do everything in my power to get you back. You know what they do to monsters, what do you think they'll do to you now that you're not complacent?"_ Grillby asked, real heat in his words. You squished your hands together making his mouth pout a bit, and silenced him. He gave you a look, " _What are you doing?"_

"I don't want to fight. Let me rephrase it then...I want you to promise me that you'll focus on those who you can help immediately if anything happens to me. Do your duty to _our_ people," you said, leaning up and kissing him. 

Grillby seemed the churn the words over in his mind before he nuzzled his forehead against yours. _"Only if you promise me that you will do whatever it takes to come back to me."_

You smiled, "Even if it takes a millennium...I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, only a few more chapters and then this bad boy is complete.
> 
> I just need to finish writing the Epilogue and then my days of writing Chasing The End are complete, and I just need to stick to my upload schedule. 
> 
> Which if I succeed in sticking to will be the first time since I started writing fanfiction 11 years ago that I wrote a story and stuck to an upload schedule!!!
> 
> *air horn* wooooooooooooooooooo!


	32. The Grandmaster Sage

"It was....a nightmare," the soldier whispered, staring blankly at the ground between him and the Mages. "That...beast...she was...possessed, crumpling armour with barely even a glance in their direction. The monsters even seemed afraid of her...and she didn't stop until a devil came up to her. I think she's been seduced by it."

"Understood," the Grandmaster said, voice not betraying an ounce of his emotion. "You're dismissed."

Those remaining from the assault on that dreaded monster 'city' had finally caught up to the main army to give their report. They were exhausted, injured, and weak...and frightened beyond compare. All thanks to one rogue Mage. The Grandmaster drummed his fingers against the table the other Mages were sitting at, staring at the map spread out along the surface.

"Why were we never informed that she can regenerate her magic that fast?" one of them blurted out once the solider was out of the tent. "That is dangerous, Grandmaster. If she can endlessly assault us because her magic never depletes...the King's Soldiers can be wiped out easily. Especially considering  _ what _ she is."

"More importantly. She was able to overpower Master Oriana's ability of prediction," another pointed out, leaning forward in their chair.

"Grandmaster, you were studying her for twelve years, why was that never in your reports?" a third asked, and all eyes were suddenly on him.

It didn't phase him at all, he merely flicked his eyes to meet a couple of their gazes. "Her ability is to absorb ambient magic, not regenerate her own. I never informed her of it, nor did I help her control it. From what the soldiers informed us...she  _ has  _ no control over it. Thus, she is more likely to harm herself by overreaching than she is to help herself. She also has never been able to overpower another's ability before. However, I will take responsibility for that oversight."

"Could it be because of her father?" another asked quietly.

The Grandmaster's jaw tightened at the mention of  _ him  _ but schooled his expression once again. "I doubt it. Abilities are not passed through bloodlines."

"I only meant, could she have remembered her father teaching her when she was a child?" the Master Sage murmured, soft eyes finally meeting the Grandmasters gaze.

"Doubtful, Master Parvati, I would assume that it was merely luck that she managed to overpower Master Oriana. Though, we should not make bets on assumptions like that. I would recommend us moving forward as if she could potentially overpower our abilities." the Master Sage who had first spoken sighed leaning back in his chair.

The Grandmaster sat back and allowed the Master Sages to debate the validity of the soldier's claims, and whether it was safe to send soldiers after the monsters when there was a Mage of  _ that _ calibre up in the mountain. He didn't really wish to listen to it, as he was only entertaining the crowd for as long as Master Raoul needed. They needed more information before they even considered their next step, and the King would have the final say.

Or so they thought.

It was then that Master Raoul's eyes regained their colour, the white almost cloud-like appearance fading completely. He blinked a few times and shook his head as he reoriented himself. "The monsters were sending their civilians and injured into the mountain. From my count, there are only fifty monsters left over to fight the army."

"What about the Halfling?" Master Parvati asked quietly, turning to look at the Mage sitting beside her.

"She stayed. I had to leave as she was about to set up a magic perimeter. She would've known instantly that I was present," Master Raoul explained, stretching out his neck. "I can command my familiar to move outside the perimeter, but it is too far to be able to pick up anything within the camp. She went with an Elemental."

"The devil?" one of the mages questioned, almost amused by the soldier's description.

"Did she manage to summon an Elemental?" another asked, curiously, stroking his long beard.

"No, it's the one that the Grandmaster had imprisoned, I believe. Or there are more fire Elemental's currently alive than I thought."

The Grandmaster held up his hand, silencing the group. "Master Raoul, do not risk disturbing her magic until we know what we are doing. Everyone, get some rest and restore your magic, dismissed."

The Master Sages bowed towards him as they stood up and filtered from the tent to leave the Grandmaster alone to his thoughts.

King Fredrick had a bleeding heart, and the Grandmaster knew he wouldn't do what needed to be done. Yet, he had his Generals around him all the time now that they were preparing to fight the monsters. There was no opportunity for the Grandmaster to manipulate the King's mind without the Generals becoming suspicious...many of them were already wary of his presence. A few had been heard whispering that they thought the King gave the Mages too much leeway when it came to the monsters.

Strange that the King, who hadn't really cared about the monsters until the Grandmaster came into power, suddenly started to spread propaganda against the monsters. Deeming them as beasts and turning the people against them.

With a sigh, he stood up and left the tent. SOldiers gave him wary glances, afraid of his power both magically and influentially. After all, he had the ear of the King. Something that not many Grandmasters had the privilege before. Everything was working in his favour, and he almost smiled at that. Almost. There were still variables that made his mouth stick in its ever-present grimace.

Like... _ you _ .

If only you hadn't managed to get out of his control.

Though, if everything else worked out...he wouldn't have to worry about you.

You didn't want to side with him, so he didn't care if you died or lived. As long as you weren't a problem for him anymore. Of course, your bleeding heart could easily be used against you. He could offer you an ultimatum...especially since he had something to use against you.

You hadn't dared to come anywhere close to the Citadel for  _ years _ . Then he captured an elemental and a skeleton monster, and you suddenly showed up? Not only that, but that same Elemental managed to help you regain your control when you were on the brink of no return...and who was following you when Master Raoul had been watching with his familiar.

If the Grandmaster knew anything about you, it was that you cared deeply. A flaw in his eyes, but an exploitable one. The best kind of flaw.

If he was lucky, he would be able to use that against you.

He came to a stop outside of the King's tent, a sizeable obnoxious tent with multiple guards posting outside of it. One of them disappeared into the tent, and he heard the man announce him to the King. A quieter murmur before the guard returned, holding open the tent flaps so the Grandmaster could enter without needing to lift a finger.

The King looked up from where he stood with a General beside him, the other man gave the Grandmaster a dark look.

"Your royal eminence," the Grandmaster bowed deeply, "forgive the intrusion, but Master Raoul has information regarding the monster army."

"What is it?" the King asked, straightening and tucking his hands behind his back. "Are they plotting a counter-attack?"

The Grandmaster stated precisely what the other Mage had informed him.

"Only fifty?" the General interrupted, then huffed, "a single troop is all that's needed."

The King held up a weathered hand, silencing both the General and the Grandmaster. "I got the report from the soldiers on what that rogue Mage was capable of," he said, voice oddly soft in comparison to how strong and grim the man looked. The Grandmaster contained the almost smug look that threatened to cross his face. Hopefully, the King was frightened by your powers and ordered for those fifty remaining monsters to be wiped out. Those monsters flushed out of the mountain. The remaining monsters  _ needed _ to stay alive, the Grandmaster wasn't stupid. He  _ knew _ that Mages were only around because of monsters...but he really hoped to change that.

"That power is terrible and great. If that one monster had not intervened, how many more humans could have lost their lives to her?" the King asked, glancing to the side at the fire burning in the brass brazier. "If I am not mistaken, Grandmaster, but she was your protege? Or are the rumours false?"

"You are not mistaken, my liege, but she-"

"I wish to speak to her," the King interrupted the Grandmaster, looking over at his General.

"Your highness, she's dangerous-" the Grandmaster attempted again, but the King held up a hand.

"I will take two troops, and request to speak with this Mage and King Asgore, even if she is as powerful as the soldiers fear her to be. If she is working with the monsters, then the King will not risk a fight when there are only fifty of them to do so if peace is an option."

"Forgive me, your highness, but may I remind you that monsters can remove your SOUL?" the Grandmaster asked, then bowed again, "Perhaps I should go in your place? Or I could illusion one of your Generals as yourself again, as I did during our peace talks?"

King Fredrick shook his head, "King Riagol was a fool for attacking during such talks, Grandmaster, but I will speak to this King Asgore instead, perhaps he has more sense than his father. I do not wish other kingdoms to look upon ours with disgust for committing genocide, even if it is against abominations such as these monsters. Peace is much more palatable than brutality."

The Grandmaster bit his tongue. This was not according to plan. If the King did meet with that beastly King, would he learn that the peace talks had not gone exactly as the Grandmaster had said they did? Would those you rescued be able to inform King Fredrick precisely what had transpired, and thus have King Fredrick question his intentions? That was if King Fredrick even believed a word the monsters said.

He hated not being able to guess.

"Of course, your highness," the Grandmaster hummed instead, bowing again.

"General, we head out at dawn, I trust you to choose two suitable troops," the King dismissed the General, who bowed deeply and left the tent.

Ah.

Perfect.

"Is there anything else?" the King asked, his tone ultimately implying that he had intended for the Grandmaster to take the dismissal of the General as a dismissal of him as well.

"Just one more thing, your highness," the Grandmaster pulled his staff out of thin air, murmuring a spell, and the King's features slackened as he stared blankly at the Mage. "You changed your mind, you refuse to talk to the traitor or the monster King. You wish to instead, cleave down the monsters willing to fight, and flush the mountain of the other monsters. To be studied to further your Kingdom's magical prowess."

The King's mouth opened to begin repeating the words, but instead, his mouth closed again, and he blinked a few times. "No...no, I refuse to subject civilians to the atrocities you commit in the Citadel. You said yourself that they were civilians in that mountain, I will grant them amnesty if they agree to leave our lands forever."

That was...shocking. The King had never been able to break through even a little bit from the manipulation before. It grew more irritating than surprising, and the Grandmaster merely repeated the spell to strengthen the control. "You will not allow the remaining monsters to flee our lands," he couldn't say why...or else the Generals would start to whisper more urgently...and he couldn't allow people to begin questioning the ties of the Citadel to the Crown. "You will let the Mages study the monsters."

"No," the King nearly wholly snapped out of control then, anger in his voice. "My son, your Prince, visited the Citadel years ago and witness what you do to monsters who have committed crimes against us."

Why the King suddenly grew a heart for the monsters, he didn't know. However, it pissed off the Grandmaster. It felt as if there was a block in the King's mind, preventing him from being able to progress down that line further.

Fine.

If the King wouldn't outwardly allow it...then he had another plan.

"You don't want to let the monsters flee our lands. Thus you will allow the Citadel Mages to trap the monsters down in the mountain so that they will never taint your lands again," the Grandmaster tried instead. It was a new spell that he had created...a powerful spell if he were to cast it over the mountain, but in the small areas he had tested it, it had worked beautifully.

The King repeated the words, and the Grandmaster smiled faintly before dropping the spell.

"Nothing more, your highness, besides a simple request that myself and six other mages accompany you. For the security of your subjects and yourself against the Mage," he requested politely.

"Yes, yes, if you wish," the King waved his hand, before reaching up to rub at his temples. "Now, leave me, I wish to rest."

"Your royal eminence," the Grandmaster bowed once more, taking a few steps backwards as he bowed before turning and leaving the tent.

Without wasting any time, he strode back to his own tent, signalling a lesser Mage over to have them inform the Master Sages to prepare to leave at dawn to confront the monsters with the King and the soldiers. It was a pity he didn't have his grimoire anymore, the little thief stole it and gave it to you. It was fortunate, however, that he knew every spell he ever made off by heart.

All he needed was six strong SOULs to erect a barrier that big...and one stronger SOUL to seal it against the monsters magic.

The best part? He knew exactly where to get that seventh SOUL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick peak into the other side of the parties plans!
> 
> [As always; here's my tumblr!](https://myownpersonaldemons.tumblr.com/)


	33. FIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Death, blood, and violence in this chapter! Lot's of blood.

You were talking with Asgore when you felt the telltale flash of magic at the back of your mind informing you that your perimeter had been breached. It startled you, and no more than a second later, you felt more and more breaks. "They've crossed the perimeter," you informed Asgore, almost breathlessly. He rested his large hand on your back and called out to the remaining monsters to prepare for battle.

It was a flurry of movement as tents were stripped down, monsters readied their weapons, magic, and armour. You hurried to find Gerson and Grillby, panic only held at bay by the simple fact that you hadn't the time to break down. Not now.

Grillby reached out to you well before you were in arms reach, and you quickly grasped onto his wrist. "Are you ready?" you asked, voice a rush as you checked over him to make sure he had all his armour secured. His own eyes searching over your body as well.

" _As ready as I'll ever be,"_ he replied, " _Stick near Gerson or me during the battle, don't play the hero. We need to extend the battle out for as long as possible...but don't risk yourself unnecessarily."_

 _"I know_ ," you replied back in his language, before glancing over at Gerson. He was gazing at the forest warily.

"Do you know anything about the army?" Gerson asked, slowly turning his one eye to look back at you. You shook your head. 

"Nothing. I never bothered to learn," you explained, wishing that you had. Maybe it could help provide some counter-tactics that the monsters could use or have something to exploit the tactics that the humans would most likely use. The only information you could provide was for the Mages...and you really hoped that they didn't bring in any Mages again.

The remaining monsters gathered loosely over the now empty clearing, hearing the steady footfalls of human soldiers getting closer and closer. Panic surged through your body, and Grillby took your hand and grasped it tightly, you ignored the sharp jabbing of the metal of his gauntlet into your fingers as you squeezed back. You'd stick by his side. You'd keep him alive. No matter what.

"Grillby," Asgore's voice broke through the quiet, "once the fighting begins...do you think you could set the forest ablaze? We need to take as many humans down as we possibly can."

Grillby nodded his head before taking his helmet from beneath his arm and pulling it over his head. You closed your eyes and swallowed thickly.

All hell broke loose when you opened your eyes.

The human army burst from the tree line.

You just thanked the Gods that the mountain was no place for calvary before slamming your magic into the ground. 

The ground quaked and cracked. Loosening. Throwing the soldiers off-balance to surprised shouts and confused yelps. Grillby threw his arms forth, and great torrents of flames burst from his body. As the ground shifted and started sliding, the trees caught in a magnificent roar.

White pellets flew past you at the humans, pelting them like a thousand cuts. Asgore summoned a great red trident, and Gerson swung a hammer right into the stomach of a soldier who managed to get their footing.

You didn't grin, but you felt a bit of hope blossom in your chest.

It spread along the fighters like wildfire. Hope slowly growing as they watched as magic overpowered the soldiers. Nature taking on the side of those who could control it. Grillby's fire burned and cracked loudly, a blistering heat that melted the snow on the ground nearly instantly. The ground fell and tumbled down the mountain as it loosened, bringing with it great bouts of flaming bush.

Fifty monsters wouldn't have stood a chance in the flat plains.

You just had to hope that the mountains would continue to give you the advantage.

An arrow slammed into the side of a monster standing beside you. Your eyes widened.

You ducked under Grillby's arms, still held out to control the fire from sweeping back up the mountain. Humans had flanked the group. You threw out your own arms, creating a barrier along the right side of the monsters. You don't know what you barked out, but it got the monster's attention, and they whirled to face those soldiers.

Soldiers hammered against the barrier, and you felt your magic wavering. "It's about to drop!": you shouted out and watched as the monsters prepared their magical attacks. "Pick your targets!"

The moment your barrier dropped, you watched with almost pride as nearly every monster focusing on the flank had picked a different target. Some hit and knocked the human flat, but more only served to force their target to stumble back. Not good enough. The first monster fell. Then another. Your teeth gritted.

All those who stayed behind knew this plan was suicide.

That didn't mean that you felt nothing when they fell.

You threw spell after spell at the advancing humans. Tossing barriers up. Occasionally manipulating the ground beneath their feet. Anything to give the monsters a chance to fight back. All you needed to do was prevent them from thinking that there were any other monsters left alive. It was just this group.

With their backs against the wall.

There was a lull, and you looked around, counting the monsters still standing as quickly as you could.

Forty-five.

"Watch your left!" Gerson's voice called out over the din of fighting.

You whirled around and spotted more humans advancing from the left. 

Grillby dropped one arm, shook it before tossing it to the left. "Duck!" he barked out, and monsters instantly responded. His flames burst forth over the heads of the monsters, who quickly moved out of the way and continued fighting. You returned your attention back to the right side where more soldiers had come through.

You needed to defend. You needed to fight.

For as long as you could.

To protect those you loved. To give them a fighting chance to get out of here. 

You wished you had convinced Grillby to go with them.

The front of the remaining monsters was unpassable from flames and steep, destroyed earth caused by your magic. Unfortunately, that meant that the human army split up and was funnelling in, and now there were archers able to start picking off monsters from down below. You abandoned fighting just to hold a barrier across the opening. The monsters had enough to deal with without being peppered by arrows. 

It sickened you to do...but you absorbed the magic from the dead monsters to fuel the barrier. To keep it up, no matter how many arrows cracked against it. No matter what they threw at it. You funnelled more and more magic into it. You felt the sting of sweat in your eyes, and the quake of your muscles as they kept up with the demand.

Grillby fought to your left, and Gerson to your right. Keeping you safe from the humans flanking you. You spared a few glances to the side to make sure that they were standing and that they were holding. 

You had to keep this barrier up.

Your focus wavered when you spotted white robes below.

Mages.

By your count. Seven.

Understandably, they were potentially there as healers or support. Though...you were worried that they would head up the mountain and knew that if they did. That would be the end of it. Especially considering that there were only...you glanced around quickly, thirty-eight monsters left. 

Shit. The fighting had only begun, and you'd already lost twelve monsters to fighting. The hope that had blossomed in your chest was quickly dwindling. However, it did linger as you noticed monsters shifting from focusing on the left to helping shore up the right.

The way left was completely impassable now, thanks to Grillby. 

His hand touched your shoulder, and you felt a bit of magic pass through the contact. Just enough that you briefly panicked, thinking that you had stolen his magic. A brush of calming reassurance touched your SOUL, and that panic died down. He'd given you some magic. You hadn't stolen it.

You swallowed thickly and focused back on the barrier.

Eventually, the fires spread enough that the archers were forced to retreat, and you could risk dropping the barrier. However, you didn't trust them enough to keep back. You poured your magic back into the ground, forcing the slope down to harden and jut upwards, providing just enough cover that archers wouldn't be able to see to take aim.

It might not stop every arrow from finding a target, but it would stop _enough_. Enough was all that matter at the moment.

Save as many as you could.

Asgore dropped his trident, and the sounds of fighting stopped. The human king stared at Asgore with almost confusion in his eyes. "We surrender," Asgore choked out, "We cannot win."

You wanted to call him a coward, but your body felt heavy with exertion. Grillby's flames were flickering dangerously low and clutching at his side, where a sword had managed to catch his chainmail. You slowly crept over to him, keeping your eyes on the human army. 

"You surrender?" King Fredrick repeated, almost surprised.

"Yes, I won't submit my people to more slaughter," Asgore said, voice loud enough to be heard over the raging fire.

"Then call off your Elemental," King Fredrick ordered, eyes flashing over to Grillby. It made your back tense, and you resisted stepping in front of him as if it could protect him. Asgore tilted his head to the side and nodded curtly. You felt the defiance in Grillby, and you risked a glance up at him. He slowly raised his hand out towards the fire, and you watched as the flames slowly absorbed back into him. While you were a bit thankful that his flames didn't look seconds from winking out forever, you were afraid that the human king would have some soldiers sneak up behind them.

There were only twenty of them left...less than half that started.

You spotted the Grandmaster once again, and your hand curled into a fist as you glared at him. He hardly seemed to notice you, whispering into the King's ear before falling back to stand beside other Mages.

Why were there so many Mages? 

You frowned but kept your questions to yourself.

"There is a cave further up, you are to take your people to the cave," King Fredrick ordered, his voice much softer than Asgore's. "We will discuss the nature of your surrender, but if any of your people leave the mouth of the cave, you will forfeit your surrender. We will escort your people there."

Asgore nodded slowly before getting back to his feet. He took a few steps back from the human army. The remaining monsters instantly crowded together, you saw the fear on their faces, but also felt the twinge of hope spreading across them all. The cave. The mountain. You felt hope in your own chest. If you were left to your own devices within the mountain...you could fake a landslide and have the monsters escape to find the others. These humans didn't know that the others had gotten away already...and if they thought the last remaining monsters had been crushed by a landslide.

Grillby glanced down at you and gave you a very faint closed mouth smile. You didn't risk reaching out to take his hand, but you felt his own hope mingle with your own. Even if the monsters didn't win the battle nor the war...they could survive.

Survival was the goal, after all.

Though, as you did walk up the mountain, you kept a close eye on the Grandmaster. You didn't trust _him_ at all. You intentionally waited for the other monsters to move past you before you started moving. There was no way he was getting close to the monsters if you had anything to do about it. Grillby gave you a curious look, but you shook your head slightly. There was no way to tell him without one of the humans overhearing after all.

The soldiers stopped in front of a black cliff face, and your blood ran cold.

They knew.

How?

One of the Mages stepped forward and drew a few runes on the surface of the rock face. The rocks shifted just as they had before, but instead of closing the way, they opened once again. The monsters whispered amongst each other, glancing back at you and then at the other mages. You wanted to demand how the mages knew, but Grillby's hand touched your elbow briefly. 

Don't do anything stupid.

What was happening??

The monsters slowly filtered in, and as they did, they stared at the humans with distrust and fear. You wanted to usher them all in faster, bring the mountain down and then urge them to _run_ as fast as they all could towards the others. 

Don't do anything stupid.

Stay alive.

Grillby's SOUL was fluttering with just as much anxiety, and you longed to reach out to him, but you were afraid to show affection to anyone. You felt your footsteps lingering a bit, staring at the cave entrance. You really...really didn't want to entire it. Something in your gut just...told you not to. Yet, it was also telling you that you _needed_ to.

It was...polarizing.

Grillby didn't notice you falling behind, helping another monster who stumbled in their exhausted state back to their feet and ushering them along. 

Wei glanced back, and his eyes widened. "Lionheart! Look out!"

You twisted around, readying a spell when you felt the sharpest, mind-numbing pain burst over your body. It blew all thought, feelings, _everything_ from your mind in a flash of white-hot _blinding_ agony.

You just felt _pain_.

Grillby turned at the sickening thud, eyes widening.

An axe was buried into your shoulder. 

_No._

His body was frozen in horror as the soldier crudely ripped the axe from your shoulder. They...they surrendered. You were part of their army.

He took a step forward as your hand reached up almost of its own accord to touch at your bloody shoulder. Your fingers moved over the wound as if you were trying to keep to closed, and you stumbled. The soldier kicked your stomach, and as you fell, Grillby darted forward, fury turning his orange flames completely blue. They scorched the roof of the cave, and the soldier darted back in fear.

Asgore held out his trident in front of Grillby, but his face was twisted with as much anger. "We surrendered! You promised us safe harbour!"

"She is human, and therefore a traitor and committed treason against the kingdom," the King said calmly, "Though, you may collect her body to dispose of it however you wish...but to do so would to cross the threshold of the cave."

Grillby snarled, eyes pined on your supine form.

Then all the anger rushed out of him as he felt the fluttering of numb fear through the SOUL bond.

No.

"...she's still alive," Grillby whispered in horror. It was a sick trap. To try to lure the monsters out, so the humans had an excuse to slaughter them. Grillby wanted to shove past the trident blocking him from taking another step forward to gather you in his arms. Press his hand on your wound and pour every ounce of magic into you in hopes of saving you.

You couldn't die.

Not now.

Not after everything.

Not like this.

Not by a stupid cowardice trick.

The other monsters began begging the human king to just spare them and let them get out. To help you. 

There was an almost soothing pulse from your SOUL to Grillby's, to which he responded with angered frustration. How could you be trying to soothe him when he felt like a trapped animal? You were in pain, he could _feel_ how much pain you were in. If muted. He could see your blood pooling around your shoulder. Could see your tiny involuntary winces and small gasps for breath.

Your SOUL popped out of your chest, startling everyone.

Grillby saw the Grandmasters face break out into a grin...until your SOUL, and your body was surrounded by Blue Magic. 

He whipped around to see Gaster walking up to stand beside him. Along with other monsters, horror on their faces. He couldn't stand to search for Nindree, even though he knew she would be in the crowd. He'd break if he saw her.

"I made a promise to her to keep you from doing anything stupid," Gaster replied to Grillby's unvoiced question. A few hands appeared and floated forth, gently cradling your head and covering your wound to begin administering healing magic. 

Grillby looked up to see the Grandmaster fully glaring at the monsters.

They hadn't broken the terms of surrender.

The very second your body gently floated past the mouth of the cave, Grillby wrapped his arms around your form and sunk to the floor. The blue magic disappeared, and then a large fluffy paw covered the wound and started to pour green healing magic. He didn't care to see if it was Toriel or Asgore doing it.

He cradled your body in his arms, enveloping you with his body. Your eyes fluttered open, the side of your face splattered with blood. Grillby wiped at your cheek, trying to get rid of the blood. You opened your mouth to speak, but blood trickled out of the corner, and you coughed. 

" _Shh...I've got you,_ " he said to you, " _save your strength. I won't let you go."_

Relief rushed through the connection, and he pressed his forehead to yours. You were strong. This would just be another injured. Another terrifying injury. One that would turn into one of the many scars that dotted your body. One that he'd kiss and be reminded of just how close he'd come to losing you once again. Just like the puncture scar from the arrow. Relieved that it hadn't taken your life, and that you were still there with him. 

Your SOUL was still hovering outside of your chest, which concerned him. 

" _Gaster, put it back,"_ he barked, not taking his gaze from your eyes.

"I didn't take it out," Gaster replied back immediately.

Grillby tore his gaze from yours to look at the other monsters, eyes narrowing. They all shared looks amongst each other, but none of them were in an encounter either.

Your SOUL jerked away harshly from your body. A wince ripped through your body, and it stole the breath from Grillby. “Destroy…it…” you choked out, weakly trying to grasp at your SOUL. That order made him cold. He couldn’t do that…that was…

He’d never destroy your SOUL. Even if it meant that every monster could go free. He’d never hurt _you_ like that. Never destroy your very essence. Still, he reached out trying to grab at your SOUL, but it was floating away too fast for him. It didn't even cross his mind that it was a bad idea for him to directly touch your SOUL while you were dying, he just panicked. 

You needed your SOUL.

It didn’t matter if your body was completely healed; without your SOUL, you’d be an empty shell.

It was surrounded by blue magic, and Grillby released a relieved breath.

The magic broke.

Gaster let out a surprised noise as a shimmering barrier erected at the mouth of the cave. Your SOUL hovering on the other side.

"No!" Grillby shouted, clutching you tighter to his chest.

What was happening? Where was your SOUL going? 

His eyes widened when he saw six SOULs floating around the Grandmaster...along with six bodies. Your SOUL was floating innocently towards the others. What was he doing with seven SOULs???

Your fingers gently brushed Grillby's jaw, and he dropped his gaze down to look at yours. There was a glaze over them, as you struggled to focus on his face. There was a rattle to your breath, and each one seemed to take every _ounce_ of your strength. He placed his hand over your chest and poured healing magic into it. Your hand dropped from his face, too weak to keep it held up anymore.

" _Please. Don't- I can't...stay. I can't-"_ he choked out, voice barely a whisper. " _I can't lose you. Not you. Not now...Stay. Please. I can’t do this alone….please…I love you…_ " He whispered your name, chanting it, and begging you to say something. Anything.

He couldn't feel your SOUL anymore.

He felt numb.

Not you.

Please, not you.

He couldn’t lose you.

He didn’t want to live another day without seeing your smile. Hear your laughter.

He wanted you to meet Undyne…to meet Fuku.

He wanted to have a family with you, build a life with _you_. A life without you…it wasn’t living.

How did Nindree and Ignatius stay alive after losing their SOULmate? He felt moments away from Dusting just at the threat of you dying in his arms.

He curled tighter around you, pressing his forehead harder against your forehead. There was the faintest pressure back, and his eyes snapped open to see your eyes still closed…but you opened your mouth, voice thick and raspy as you struggled to speak, "I...l-l...love...yo-" 

A sharp flash of white.

A powerful force of magic.

When Grillby's senses returned to him, the strongest barrier he'd ever sensed blocked the exit to the cave.

He didn't care about that.

He was numb.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Not when you no longer drew breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.


	34. Epilogue

Grillby's eyes slowly slipped open and blinked away the sleep in his eyes. With a groan, he stretched out feeling his flames snapping sleepily before he flopped onto his back. He'd started sleeping on a smaller bed centuries ago when he found himself  _ still _ waking up and reaching out to find it empty.

He barely thought about that, sitting up and rubbing at his face.

Lioness, his big fluff ball of a cat, came bolting into the bedroom, face wet from drinking water. She leapt onto the bed and started purring and bumping her forehead against his chin. "… _ morning, _ " he murmured to the cat, nuzzling her back before gently shifting her to the side so he could get up.

Slowly, he got to his feet and walked over to his wardrobe. With a methodology built over the years, he donned his work clothes, humming the work song his father had taught him quietly to himself. There was a peace about getting himself together each morning, and singing that song he felt closer to his parents and you. That was still a wound that never healed. A crack in his SOUL that he had never seen but could  _ feel _ .

Whenever he thought back to that day, he remembered seeing you fall to the floor...and then somehow you were in his arms. He couldn't really remember how you had gotten there, but it didn't matter.

His hands faltered, remembering the dark red blood, and then he closed his eyes and exhaled heavily.

No.

Not tonight.

He opened his eyes and looked over at his memorial shelf. The small shell you had given him years ago was resting beside then pendent he had made for you. When they had…buried you…he had debated if he wanted to keep the pendant with you…but with your SOUL shattered or…worse…used to keep them imprisoned, your body was empty to him. So, he had kept the pendant. His eyes strayed over to the bracelet his sister always wore, the flames from his parents, and...Grillby reached out and plucked the photo up. It was a copy, the actual one was in his bar displayed for everyone to see.

It was of him and Nindree a few years before she passed away. Her face aged, half of her head shaved, and the remaining hair nearly completely grey. She had told Undyne that Grillby would  _ always  _ catch her if she jumped at him and that she wanted Undyne to get photo proof.

The photo always made him smile.

He'd been working, holding a tray when she had called his name and bolted over. When she launched at him, he'd dropped the tray and caught her before she knocked both of them over. It was caught mid-collision, everything on the platter was just in the beginning stages of falling, the monsters around surprised and amused by the scenario. His flames burning higher in surprise, a look of startled anger on his face entirely contrasted by Nindree's absolute DELIGHT. Her prosthetic limb gleaming in his flames.

His mind drifted over to her death.

It was a peaceful death in her bed surrounded by those she loved, which he was so thankful for. He didn't think he could stand another violent death.

Grillby placed the photo back onto the shelf before a rhythmic thumping came from his front door. He finished adjusting his bowtie and his glasses before leaving his bedroom and heading over to the door.

As he opened it, Fuku bounced forward. Lioness meowed happily at the newcomers and weaved her way around Ignatius' legs. His brother-in-bond did not seem to thrilled by the cat, but then again he never did. He wasn't a 'pet' monster. He found it…weird.

"Heya Uncle Grillby!" she chirped, all of her mother's pep. She twirled, making her black skirt flair. "I'm SO excited for opening night! This is going to be sooooo cool!"

Ignatius held out his hand, and Grillby shook it firmly, then smiled at his friend and brother-in-bond, " _ Iggy." _

"Grill," Ignatius replied back, flames crackling in fond irritation at being called 'Iggy.' "Ready for tonight?"

" _ As ready as I'll ever be." _

He ignored the pain in his chest. Instead, he gestured towards the door. His remaining family headed down the steps into the bar, and he flicked on the lights, staring at the pristine bar.

The first Monster Bar on the Surface, the grand-opening, was in thirty minutes.

Grillby had hired Ignatius and Fuku. It was both to give them jobs, and to get help with opening night as he knew that all the monsters on the Surface had been talking about  _ nothing _ else. The other day there was even a piece on the news about it, which made him nervous about the opening night. He'd  _ really _ hoped that Muffet's bakery would be approved first and open first. Sure, that made him a coward...but his bar was never to be flashy. It was to...

He shook his head and ran over Ignatius' and Fuku's roles for the night. Fuku would help him handle the bar, while Ignatius would deal with the tables. Grillby would work on food, helping at the bar,  _ and _ the tables. He was able to do all back in the Underground, but...it would be nice to ease off, and he hadn't seen his family much in the Underground thanks to Waterfall separating them.

Sometimes he wished he had gone with them to the Capital instead of staying in Snowdin.

"heya grillbz."

No time to dwell on the past, Grillby turned to see Sans sitting in his new usual spot. Well, it wasn't 'new'. It was where he always sat in the bar in Snowdin, and the sight soothed some of Grillby's nerves as he walked over. He included his head and then passed Sans a bottle of ketchup.

"how busy do you think it's gunna get?" Sans asked, already lifting the tip of the ketchup bottle up to his teeth. Grillby merely shrugged. He had no clue. It could be like the busiest day in Snowdin, meaning a reasonably slow day, or it could be so busy that he barely had time to think. Both had it's advantages, and he could deal with either. He glanced over at his niece and felt a flash of worry, but he quashed it down. Fuku could handle it, she was just like her parents.

"well, i already know that half the underground wants to show up," Sans continued on and winked, setting up a punchline. Fuku smacked her hands on the counter.

"Ugh! No puns! Please!" she begged, flames snapping with exasperation.

"His jokes don't tickle your funny bone?" Grillby asked, voice as neutral as possible as he double-checked to make sure the bar was fully stocked. Fuku nodded, giving Sans a glare, but then her flames snapped.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Not you too, Uncle," she groaned, slapping her hands to her face, "That's so awful."

Sans chuckled as Fuku moved away from them, complaining as she went. Grillby smiled faintly before checking the time once more. Alright. Opening time.

It was...crazy. He'd never been this busy ever in his life, and he was sure as hell happy that he had Fuku and Ignatius there to help him out. They'd even had to start turning people away at the door because of the fire code. Which, when Grillby had read about that, he'd snorted because...well...the only people working the bar were fire. The chances of a fire getting out of control were slim to none.

Grillby emerged from the back room, two full trays of food balanced in each hand. The bar was not getting any emptier, and it was well into the night. It made him happy...to see so many humans and monsters chatting happily and peacefully in his establishment. This is what he had wanted so many years ago. Just...peace.

Ignatius gave him a knowing look, and Grillby handed off the trays to him. His brother-in-bond disappeared into the crowd, easily holding the trays perfectly balanced.

Rolling his shoulders, he glanced over to his niece to make sure she was not getting overwhelmed by the orders. His eyes lingered on a human woman chatting with Fuku. There was something familiar about her...but he didn't get to think on it long. The man standing beside the woman said something and then went to throw his drink at Fuku.

Grillby's flames snapped in fury, and Fuku let out a shrill, fearful scream, hands coming up to block the drink.

The bar went silent as the drink harmlessly splashed against a barrier.

A barrier.

Grillby's breath stopped.

A Mage.

The man stared at it in surprise before pointing a finger at Fuku, "You filthy beasts aren't supposed to use magic!" he accused.

Ignatius was shoving through the crowd, fearful anger on his face. Grillby strode over to Fuku and pulled her quickly against him, stroking her arm as she began to sob against him. People gave the man a wide berth, and monsters began whispering about 'is there a mage?'.

Sans met Grillby's eyes.

This had to be handled...delicately.

"Good thing that wasn't their magic, now isn't it?" the woman who had been chatting with Fuku spat out, leaning against the counter.

The man stared down at her, the wheels turning in his head before it clicked in his bigotted mind. "Humans can't use magic, you stupid bitch."

"Hm...well, even if it was the monster using the magic. She wasn't using it on you, she was defending herself. Therefore, not against the law at all. However, you? I really hope you weren't trying to kill or harm that poor, defenceless waitress," the woman said, head cocked to the side slightly. "Because if you were that'd be a loonnnnng time in jail."

Undyne walked through the door at that moment, and Grillby signalled to her. Her face went from bright and happy at seeing him, to calculating as she took in the scene. She began elbowing through the crowd, fury on her face. Ignatius came to Grillby's side, and he gently pried his niece from clinging to him and ushered her into her father's arms. "Take her into the back."

Ignatius nodded.

When Grillby turned around, the man was mid-swing, but his hand just slammed into another barrier.

The sound of his knuckles breaking was disgusting.

Undyne burst through the edge of the crowd then, fury on her face, "HEY! What the HELL is going on?"

"Stay out of this, you fucking ugly fish," the man snarled.

Undyne's face twisted into an evil grin before she pulled out her badge. "HEY! This 'fish' is a cop!"

The man's face paled, and he looked between Undyne and the door before attempting to make a run from it. Undyne didn't let him get far, pinning him to the ground, and calling it in. Grillby had half the mind to close the bar early, but Ignatius came back out and quietly told him that Fuku didn't want this to ruin the grand opening. He grumbled about it but agreed.

It took a while for the bar to get back to normal. Most of the humans were snooping in on the arrest outside, and then the talk was mainly about that for a while longer.

Grillby had meant to thank the human for standing up for his niece. However, when the metaphorical dust had settled, she had disappeared during the scuffle between the man and Undyne. Disappointing, but he was also mildly relieved. That meant he didn't have to talk to a potential Mage. He wasn't sure if it was her who put up the barrier, or just insane luck that there was either a monster who could use that sort of magic or a Mage who was protecting her.

Eventually, Ignatius announced last call to the bar and people started filtering out after paying their tab. It was nearing three in the morning, and Grillby was getting tired. Hopefully, this wasn't the average for every night, or he might have to adjust his hours just so he didn't feel so...exhausted at the end of a shift. It was incredibly different to how it felt to own a bar in the Underground. A lot busier...and apparently a lot more dangerous.

Fuku had taken to just working in the back after that incident, which he didn't blame her.

Grillby headed over to the last remaining booth, it had about four humans in it, and they were doling out cash into a pile in the center, arguing a bit over who was covering it. Not in a 'you pay more' but in a 'no, no, I got this' kind of argument. The woman from before glanced up at his approach and then immediately ducked her head down.

She was still there?

He cleared his throat, "...thank you," he said quietly, "for before."

Her eyes flashed back up to his before away immediately. "No problem...uh...sorry...that it caused a scene..."

"... it's fine....you saved my niece..." he paused before gesturing to the pile of money in the center. The woman quickly started gathering it, but he held his hand up, "...I was going to say....your table is on the house....for saving her..."

The woman's head snapped towards him in surprise, her mouth forming an 'o' and then she glanced at the others in shock. As if unable to find the words. One of her friends nudged her with a grin, "see! You're totally a superhero now!"

"No!" she blurted out, face going red before turning back to him, "We couldn't! It's opening night!"

"...I insist," he said, giving her a closed-mouth smile. Not that most humans ever seemed to know when he was emoting. Not since...his smile warbled a bit.

The woman's mouth pressed together in thought before she smiled brilliantly at him. "That's really kind, thank you! Really!"

His SOUL thudded.

"....your welcome," he said, well practically blurted out if he was honest, before fleeing the table. He headed into the back, panicking as his hand touched his chest.

No.

No. No! No! NO!

Grillby was NOT feeling that. He did NOT have another SOULmate. He refused to acknowledge it. Though...it was still...panic clutched to his chest. Fuku glanced over, confusion in her face.

"Everything okay, Uncle?" she asked, worry in the crackles and popping of her flames. He waved at her, giving her what he hoped was a reassuring look before taking a deep breath and helping her clean up the back a bit more. Ignatius came in later to inform them that the bar was empty.

Grillby didn't speak of the potential of another SOULmate to anyone. It didn't matter if he had the potential for another, he didn't want another. Especially not another Mage. He felt that if he did decide to pursue that...that he'd just be seeing your face in her face and...he wouldn't do that. Not to you, and not to her. Though, from what he gathered, most humans nowadays didn't know anything about their own SOUL. That woman might not even be aware that she had a SOUL...and from the tidbit of information her friend gave, it didn't seem like she was all that trained in her powers.

There had been rumours that humans were getting magic back, nowhere near as powerful as they used to be, but just enough to get monsters nervous.

Sans had alluded to the fact that the joint monster-human science team was looking into the whole thing. Yet, Grillby knew that everything Sans did was classified information for the governments. Until the governments decided to announce something...he wasn't allowed to talk about it.

Which frustrated Grillby because he wanted to ask Sans about the whole thing, but knew that he'd just get talked around by his friend.

To make matters worse, the woman came back to the bar pretty frequently after that. Mostly with her friends, and a lot earlier when it was less busy. Most of the time, she sat in a booth and Grillby could get either Fuku or Ignatius to deal with her. They were both more than willing to serve her, and Fuku was making fast friends with the woman. Who always tipped them pretty big.

Whenever she came in, he couldn't help but keep an eye on her.

She never showed off her magic, but now that the monsters knew she was a Mage, they seemed to all be fascinated with her.

Grillby couldn't blame them, mostly all the monsters alive today hadn't been born before the barrier was erected, and those that were just Eggs took a long time to hatch due to the decrease of initial Hope in the Underground. Nindree thought for years that Undyne was just never going to hatch, and her own Hope dropped. If it wasn't for Asgore and Toriel keeping morale up...Grillby really didn't think anyone would've survived. When they announced that they were having a child, the morale of the Underground had boosted up sharply. There had been celebrations, because even if they were stuck down there...there was a future!

The announcement was bittersweet in Grillby's mind. They had informed him, Nindree, and Gerson before announcing it to the public.

Bittersweet because he was happy for them...but insanely jealous at the same time. His friends would all grow old and die. They all had children. Though, he bared them no ill will and was happy for them wholly. He mourned with the rest of the kingdom when Asriel died...and had helped hide Toriel away in the Ruins when she came to him distraught about what Asgore was planning.

Grillby shook his head lightly, pulling his thoughts back to the present. No sense dwelling in the past.

A man was sitting at the bar, who looked very familiar to him but he couldn't place why he knew the man. If he didn't know any better, Grillby would've said that that man could've been your twin. He looked that similar to you. It was curious, and he kept glancing over at the man. Thankfully, it was dead, so he could get away with focusing on one person more than if it was busy. Sans wasn't there to distract him either, nor were Fuku or Ignatius as he had sent them a message earlier telling them not to bother coming in because of the blizzard.

After about an hour of the man nursing a beer, he lifted his gaze from whatever he was reading on his phone and met Grillby's eyes.

"What're your thoughts on Mages?" the man asked, leaning his chin on his fist and idly spinning his glass with his other hand.

Grillby's head tilted ever so slightly at the word 'Mage.' That was primarily what monsters called them, humans had taken to calling them 'Magic Users' or 'Witches'. Slowly, Grillby shrugged his shoulders, returning his attention back to the glasses he was cleaning. The man didn't say anything right away, but Grillby sensed he was being studied.

When his eyes met the man's again, the man was smiling. "Know what I heard? Mages can be reborn. Like reincarnation? Crazy, right? To think that the Mages from that war could be wandering around right now."

That...Grillby placed his glass down, and his eyes narrowed. Was this man threatening him? "...excuse me?"

"I'm a historian," the man said, leaning forward slightly, "Specifically about the disappearance of magic in humans. Did you know that one day, a powerful spell was cast by a Mage using seven human SOULs? Course you do, it was the barrier. Though, from what I understand, most monsters don't care to know what happened to humanity afterwards. But I bet you do."

Grillby didn't say anything, just crossed his arms and leaned back.

"You want to know what happened to the Grandmaster," the man's voice quieted, "the bastard who killed your SOULmate."

It took every ounce of self-control that Grillby had not to grab the man's shirt and demand how the  _ fuck _ this man knew that. Humanity didn't know shit about monsters. How the hell did this man know about  _ you _ ? More importantly that you were his SOULmate? Humans didn't know about that. Couldn't know about that.

The man seemed to realize the fury that was being kept at bay but didn't look afraid. Instead, he folded his hands together in front of him.

"Records show that the number of humans born with magic abilities dropped immediately after the barrier was erected. It absorbed all the ambient magic outside of the barrier," the man explained, "Mages lost their magic because of the barrier."

Grillby didn't move a muscle. He didn't care what happened to humanity after. They deserved whatever happened to them because of their prejudices.

"The Grandmaster was to blame, stripped of his rank and title," the man explained, before glancing down the bar to one of the other stools. "He deserved worse. I'm sure you'd agree?" the man's smile was almost predatory. Grillby was unsure about how he felt about that.

When Grillby didn't deign to answer, the man's smile fell off his face and then finished the rest of his drink. His eyes stared at the wall behind the bar for a moment. "The SOULs are reawakening...but their memories are locked. I hope they stay that way, there's too much grief in the world... I'd hate to see what would happen if  _ he _ wakes back up. Though others would make this world a better place."

Grillby paused at that, there was almost...sadness in the man's voice. What was he going on about? He'd only had one drink, and had taken an hour to drink it. Either he was a lightweight, or he was utterly aware of what he was saying. The man stared at his cup before pushing it away from him and then pulling out his wallet.

"...which one are you?" Grillby asked, quietly walking to stand in front of the man.

A huff of a laugh, "you didn't know me, boy. Don't worry. I was dead before the little moon was even brought to the Citadel," he winked at Grillby. "She wants a nice hot drink, her favourite, and some peace and quiet."

Grillby frowned, confusion settling over him as the man slapped down some money. Little moon?

" _ It was nice to meet you, Grillbert _ , _ shame that it had to happen this late, _ " the man said, standing up and pulling on his coat with a grin.

" _ My name isn't-" _ Grillby cut himself off, staring at the human.

He...spoke Elemental? It was a weird human version but understandable enough for Grillby to get what he was saying. That stunned Grillby into silence, the man whistled and walked out, holding the door open for The Woman, as Grillby had yet to learn her name. Grillby saw the man smile at her, she returned the look and headed towards the bar. His eyes stayed on the Mage, however, and saw that his face shifted into something akin to sadness before he left without a glance back.

What in the stars was going on?

The Woman sat down at the bar, pulling off her jacket and scarf and resting them in her lap. Grillby went over to ask her what she wanted when his mind flashed back to the Mage....then he really  _ looked _ at the woman in front of him. She looked incredibly similar to the Mage that just left...and he shook his head.

No.

He was  _ not _ going there.

She was not  _ you _ .

Even if she looked like you...

"Heya, Grillby," she said, her tone more subdued than usual. "Can I get something warm?"

And peace and quiet?

He didn't voice that, merely nodded and disappeared into the back. When he came back out, she was slumped against the bar, playing a game on her phone. She gave him a thankful look, murmured 'thank you', and fell into silence.

Neither of them said anything, but Grillby couldn't help but continue to sneak looks over at her.

No.

It wasn't you.

That Mage was just fucking with him.

Stars, he wished Nindree was here. He could've phoned her and told her what happened and have her laugh at the absurdity of the Mages statement.

The woman ordered another hot drink, and when he came back with it, she sighed happily, fingers closing around the glass.

The longer it was just her, the longer he studied her movements. The longer he thought about it...the more he grew to see you. Was it just his mind trying to connect you with yearning in his SOUL? He had no photo of you, you'd died long before cameras were even a thing. What if he just remembered you wrong? The thought made his SOUL contract painfully, and he disappeared into the back room.

The pain didn't ease as quickly as it usually did, and he chanced heading back upstairs. He picked up the pendant he had gotten you and squeezed it in his fist before slipping it into his pocket. No. He remembered you right. He'd never forget you. He closed his eyes tightly and exhaled.

That Mage was just...screwing up his mind.

He headed back down the stairs and back into the bar. The few remaining patrons paid up and headed out, talking about how they wanted to get home during the lull in the storm. The Woman didn't even seem to notice the bar emptying, too busy sipping her drink and playing on her phone.

No one came in for a good thirty minutes, and The Woman finally noticed that she was the only one there.

"Oh! Sorry! You probably want to close," she blurted out, pulling out her wallet and fishing for her card. Grillby didn't say anything, just got the card reader, a device that he still was confused by at times, and handed it to her. "Hopefully, you don't have to go far after you close up," she muttered as she entered her information into the card reader. Grillby shook his head, and she smiled faintly, "That's good."

She held the card reader back to him, and as he went to take it back, his fingers touched hers.

His SOUL sang out happily, and her hand flew to her chest, face furrowing in confusion.

"Do...I know you?" she asked, voice quiet and confused.

"... you've been coming to my bar for a while?" Grillby replied, tearing the receipt off and placing it on the counter instead of handing it to her. He didn't want to risk touching her again. His SOUL was betraying him. Damn it. He didn't want this.

"No...uh...from some...where else?" she asked, hesitating, then she blushed and shook her head. "Never mind, it's nothing. Forget I said anything."

Your face flashed in his mind, and he clenched his jaw.

She wasn't you.

But...he pulled out the pendant out of his pocket and stared at it for a moment.

What if it was you?

Slowly, he held it out towards The Woman. Her brow furrowed even more, and she slowly held out her hand towards him. Without touching her, he dropped the pendant down into her waiting palm.

There was no recognition in her eyes.

It wasn't you.

Disappointment swelled in his chest, and he closed his eyes.

_ "Tell me it wasn't a millennium?"  _

Grillby's eyes snapped open and studied The Woman's voice. Her hand was clenched around the pendant now, eyes slowly reddening as tears welled in them. " _ Grillby? It better not have been more than a millennium." _

Your promise.

His SOUL burst with happiness and your SOUL responded in kind.

_ "It felt like it," _ he whispered, unable to trust his voice any louder than that.

It was  _ you _ .

Your face contorted, and a sob left you, "I'm so sorry, I should've...I couldn't react fast enough... I'm sorry."

Grillby wasted no time hopping over the counter and pulled you into a tight hug. You clung to him, sobbing against his chest, a hand fisted tightly around the pendant. His SOUL ached at your sadness but at the same time was too overwhelmed with just blinding happiness that it was really  _ you _ . Stars. He'd thought he had lost you.

He whispered soothing words, crushing you to his chest tightly.

When your gut-wrenching sobs finally eased, you reluctantly pulled away from him, wiping at your face.

"Sorry...I just.." you huffed, unable to look at him, "When you don't remember...and then suddenly..." your hand went to your shoulder, and Grillby saw a hollow look enter your face. "I...fuck..."

Grillby reached up, cupping your face with both his hands and brushed away what remained of your tears. No words came to mind, but his SOUL was pulsing comforting and soothingly, and your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned into his touch.

"I love you," Grillby whispered, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," you choked out, before grabbing his shirt and pulling him towards you. He didn't hesitate to crush his lips against yours. If he could, he'd never let you go again. You were here. You were actually here.

"Marry me," Grillby blurted out when you pulled back to breathe, and your eyes widened before more tears started pouring out. You couldn't get words out, just incoherent blabbering. Though, the excessive nodding and then a deep kiss were enough for him.

All the years since he had last seen you melted away…you were here now, and that's all that mattered. You were safe. There was no war. The two you could just be with each other. Grillby didn't have to worry every time he left you that it would be the last he saw of you. There was no fear. It could just be you and him.

He didn't have to worry that you two were just chasing the end.

No.

There was a future now.

He couldn't wait to see what would come with you standing by his side.

Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Thank you all so, so, so much for reading this, giving kudos, and commenting. You're all amazing and I love you all~! 
> 
> If you follow me on tumblr, then you may know that I mentioned that I'll be writing a Underfell!Grillby/reader fanfic, but I'm going to be taking a bit of a break between this and writing that to get kind of a clear mind for the new project. If that's something you're interested in! keep an eye out :3c
> 
> I'm too lazy to find the link/type out the link to my tumblr right now, but it's myownpersonaldemons


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